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Survivor Samoa Week Seven

Tucker's Nuts
Brett Clouser (10)
Kelly Sharbaugh (11)
Mick Trimming (14)
David Ball (15)
Shannon Waters (18)
Laura Morett (19)
Elizabeth Kim (7) -- Booted Week Seven
Ashley Trainer (3) -- Booted Week Five
Betsy Bolan (2) -- Booted Week Two
Mike Borassi (6) -- Pulled out In Episode Two (Illness)

Assssshhhfault!!
John Fincher (1)
Erik Cardona (5)
Monica Padilla (8)
Russell Hantz (12)
Natalie White (13)
Jaison Robinson (20)
Russell Swan (16) -- Removed in Week Six (Medevaced)
Yasmin Giles (17) -- Booted Week Four
Ben Browning (4) -- Booted Week Three
Marisa Calihan (9) -- Booted Week One

Dancing With the Stars Week 6 Elimination Episode

Whoa... we are live and Samantha looks better than she has ever looked and it is in a black dress.

We go straight into a Taylor Swift song and I hit the fast forward button. I keep the fast forward continues as the recap comes on.

"We got a lot of tense spray tanned people here." Heh heh... Tom Bergeron is just clever and snarky aware of his situation.

First couple saved is Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough
Second couple saved is Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer

Ugh... why do they have to do videos? This one is about how nervous they are about "double elimination." Boring.

Third couple saved is Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson
Fourth couple saved is Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff (Karina is usually the professional that reacts the best, but the high pitch scream she just belted was ... intimidatingly cute.)

Some dude sings and I fast forward... he was too handsome. Then it is another video about their wardrobes for the next week.

Fifth couple saved is Mya & Dmitry Chaplin
Sixth couple saved is Kelly Osbourne & Louis Van Amstel

These are your bottom three couples... Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas, Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova, and Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower. They will reveal the first booted and who will dance off after Taylor Swift bores America again.

In the dance off Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova and Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower

The couple automatically eliminated tonight is Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas WOW! I didn't see that one coming.



It is time for the first ever dance off where the judges have sole discretion of who is booted from the show.

Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova are up first and they have chosen to dance the Samba and after a quick video of them practicing that morning the dancing begins. I actually thought it was cute and fun. Seriously... I don't like this guy and I want him to lose so that I can have at least one more night of Chelsie Hightower. Len thought it was "enjoyable." Bruno thought it was "fun" and a "crowd pleaser." Carrie Ann thought it was the right dance for his personality, but the dancing was weak.

Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower dance second and the video sounds the exact same as Michael's video... early to rise and the fans are awesome. They are dancing the Jive and he is excited about it. See? I don't know anything, but I thought his footwork was atrocious and just plain upsetting. Poor Chelsie. Bruno was impressed with the amount of content shoved into a short period of time while Carrie Ann and Len that that they were a bit weak in content.

We go to the judges for their verdict.

Bruno makes his comments first. He votes for Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower

Len votes for Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova

Carrie Ann votes to save Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova

The last couple saved is Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova

That means that the second couple booted this week is:

Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower Damn.

Dancing With the Stars -- Week 6

And so we remember what we were told last week and try to decipher what was said.

1. Double elimination this week.
2. There will be a dance off during the elimination episode.
3. Something else about a new dance during the dance off... Hrm.
4. If there is a double emilination... how many people will be dancing in the dance off?
5. My brain officially hurts and the night hasn't even begun yet.

We are now LIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!

They are dancing two dances tonight -- The Waltz and the Jitterbug (one each) and then the Dance Marathon (Mambo)! (Huh?) This is what they call the "Upping of the Stakes."

Mya & Dmitry Chaplin are up first and we are reminded that she was second last week after three weeks at the top of the leaderboard. They are dancing the Jitterbug and Mya is looking forward to having a lot of fun. Mya seems to have a hurt hip bone. Poor baby. So... she gets a massage to take care of her aches and pains... America sighs in complacency. "Float like a Jitterbug and sting like a bee." said with a goofy smile. God... she is truly boring. The dance starts and there is a lot of "messing about" with props and she finally gets into the dance. There are a lot of kicks and fun and she is good, but there seems to be a lot missing. Just a ton of the same thing over and over again. Len says that the last refuge of the untalented is the use of props... and he is disappointed she wasted so much time since she is so good. Bruno thought her timing was perfect. Carrie Ann agrees with Len and says that is was too soft and muted. Their scores are 8, 7, 9 for a score of 24.

Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas show up second and we are reminded that last week was not her best. Again, she announces that she is ready to "step it up." Stilted and ... stilted... They are dancing the Waltz this week and her posture is atrocious so Mark brings in his mother. Of course... she's tough. TW doesn't like her and I was sort of middle of the road on her. I am officially in TW's camp now. It seems like a tragic start to the dance, but I can only see their faces. The rest of the dance just seems off balance to me. The crowd liked it a lot though. Bruno hated it and said "It wasn't good." He was rough. Carrie Ann agrees and called it a "sticky" dance. And Len is smoking pot who says that she was elegant and had musicality proving that he is on a different planet. Their scores are 7, 7, 6 for a total of 20.

The dance off is explained. The lowest score is booted... no matter what. The second and third lowest scores will dance a brand new dance for the judges to try to stay in the game. Weird and how do you plan for that? Also -- the judges have the sole discretion about who goes home. America has NO say in it. The contestants get to pick their dance and the songs.

Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer are up third. They are doing the Jitterbug. Lacey is choreographing a dance that will allow Mark to step up and shine. He is going to be doing all the tricks and jumps. Lacey takes him to a Jitterbug club to experience it all. This will be awesome or a train wreck. It starts awesomely and I liked a move where Lacey jumps onto his side and slides down. The role reversal works for me and he does do some great and energetic things. I get a strange feeling that the judges will think they are a bit too frenetic. Carrie Ann loved it. Len loved it. Bruno called it "truly spectacular." They all pointed out a slight loss of steps at the end of the dance which did occur. Their scores were 9, 9, 8 for a total of 26.

Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff dance fourth. God... will AMerica just vote out this whiny putz? He can't wait to do the Waltz because it really suits his personality. He gets to sit and wait through a commercial break to think about his dance first. It's called "icing." He finally gets to dance and his hair is quite spiky and messy. What did I learn from their Waltz? Karina is really good at spinning all around him AND I learned that Harold Wheeler can even ruin Once, Twice, Three Times a Lady. He was fine, but nothing tremendous to me. Len thought he was good and mature out there. Bruno and Carrie Ann pointed out his foot misteps. His scores were 8, 9, 8 for a total of 25.

Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova dance fifth and will he get out of the bottom of the leaderboard after being there three weeks in a row with his Waltz? Will he clench a nickel in his butt tonight? He knows that the reason he is still around is because of his fans and nothing to do with his dancing. We get to see a segment with him on his radio talk show... he finally practices his dancing. He gets very frustrated with his dancing. I watched the dance and my thoughts are -- Anna is pretty and might be a good dancer, but she isn't ready for this show since she isn't really choreographing him to anything special. The crowd likes it. Bruno said it was satisfactory, but not premiere league Waltz. Carrie Ann thought it was a charming Waltz and there was a lift. Len loved it. Someone is licking LSD. Their scores are 6, 8, 6 for a total of 20.

Kelly Osbourne & Louis Van Amstel hurt her foot last week and the pain continued past the show and was rushed to the hospital and cleared! They are dancing the Jitterbug this week and is having troubles with tricks because of her fear of heights. This is a theme. Louie is good at playing at the drama... so Kelly can overcome another "internal demon" to get the audience votes. Her outfit and makeup are pretty much like a clown, but when she starts dancing, the confidence and fun come out in spades. She isn't doing anything amazing, but it is far more fun than most of the others. However, towards the middle endish... there were a bunch of slip ups, but overall, it was funner than I expected. Ugh... I can't ever get it right. Carrie Ann basically tells her to stop thinking and stay happy. Len thought it was disappointing. Bruno thought it was cute and nice, but not with any sort of fire. Sell it chickadee. Her scores were 7, 6, 7 for a total of 20.

Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower is up next and I forget the dude's name as I look at my new girlfriend Chelsie Hightower. They are doing the Jitterbug and Chelsie is trying to get him to do lots of tricks. He is feeling awkward about it and they watch his videos to do some comparisons. He comes out as a nerd and Chelsie quickly strips him of all thing nerd. THe dance starts and it is weird at best. I just don't think he is suited to dancing and it's a shame because Chelsie is so wonderful. Len liked parts of it... then hit him for his footwork. Bruno criticized it and Carrie Ann liked it even though he dropped her twice. Their scores were 7, 7, 7 for a total of 21.

Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough dance second to last after Derek has survived the flu. They are dancing the romantic Waltz and she thinks it is hard because it is so slow and controlled. They seem to be cracking because he doesn't think she is doing it right. I just don't know the Waltz so I won't say anything anymore about it. Tom calls it the "Get a Room Dance of the Season." Bruno loved it. Carrie Ann thought something strange was going on and thought it was hesitation. Len was critical of the footwork and happy they went straight into the dance and he thought it was the best Waltz of the night. Their scores are 8, 9, 9 for a 26.

Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson is up and wearing the WORST HAT EVER -- a train conductor hat that is five hundred pounds. They do some charity work and try really hard. The dance starts and it is incredibly high energy IMMEDIATELY. The hat matches the song. It is the most fun dance of the night... for sure. We should have known that his Jitterbug would be really high energy. The judges appreciated him more even if the dancing wasn't perfect. Their scores were 8, 8, 8 for a total of 24.

Competition Mambo -- Marathon!!!

It's time for the competition Mambo and they are going to be eliminated one by one and points will be given corresponding to the order they get booted. The video is to show us their training. The dance is a full four minutes.

The order of the boot was:

First (2) -- Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova
Second(3) -- Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower
Third (4) -- Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas
Fourth (5) -- Kelly Osbourne & Louis Van Amstel
Fifth (6) -- Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer
Sixth (7) -- Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson
Seventh (8) -- Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff
Eighth (9) -- Mya & Dmitry Chaplin
WINNER! (10) -- Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough

Scores... Just a reminder!

Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough -- 26 + 10 = 36
Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff -- 25 + 8 = 33
Mya & Dmitry Chaplin -- 24 + 9 = 33
Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer -- 26 + 6 = 32
Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson -- 24 + 7 = 31
Kelly Osbourne & Louis Van Amstel -- 20 + 5 = 25
Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower -- 21 + 3 = 24
Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas -- 20 + 4 = 24
Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova -- 20 + 2 = 22

Survivor Week Six -- Holy Crap

The show spent the first ten minutes showing 5 days of rain and how hard it was on everyone. I can't imagine how hard that was. It never seems to stop (and later in the episode... it pours during the Tribal Council and you can just see the horrified faces on everyone.)

Russell Swan had the scariest moment in Survivor history by passing out. That shook me too much.

Russell was removed from the game and that was really really hard to watch... even though I didn't like him. That was hard.

Crazy.

Tonight... two people are being voted out -- one from each tribe.

First Tribal Council where everyone is currently sitting -- all 13 people that are left. Jeff relates watching the scary moments with Russell, but he is ok and the players all talk about Russell and then get into the game talk.

Time to discuss the vote. There will be NO ONE VOTED out tonight due to the unprecedented nature of today.

I wish there was still a vote...

I feel kind of cheated.

Tucker's Nuts
Elizabeth Kim (7)
Brett Clouser (10)
Kelly Sharbaugh (11)
Mick Trimming (14)
David Ball (15)
Shannon Waters (18)
Laura Morett (19)
Ashley Trainer (3) -- Booted Week Five
Betsy Bolan (2) -- Booted Week Two
Mike Borassi (6) -- Pulled out In Episode Two (Illness)

Assssshhhfault!!
John Fincher (1)
Erik Cardona (5)
Monica Padilla (8)
Russell Hantz (12)
Natalie White (13)
Jaison Robinson (20)
Russell Swan (16) -- Removed in Week Six (Medevaced)
Yasmin Giles (17) -- Booted Week Four
Ben Browning (4) -- Booted Week Three
Marisa Calihan (9) -- Booted Week One

Dancing With the Stars Week 5 Elimination Show

We are LIIIIIIVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEE........

TW and I are betting that the Encore Dance will be the very entertaining group Hustle that was done at the end of the show last night.

Samantha looks lovely tonight since her hair is back to being nice. During the recap from the episode last night, we get insight into Kelly Osbourne's hurt goot... and when I say insight... I mean... her dad took her to the hospital. I am sure there will be some drama later. She has a sprained foot and a contusion so she will be able to dance again next week.

We were wrong about the Encore dance. It will be Kym and Donny's Argentine Tango. IT is important to point out that Kym is wearing a dress that only a perfect body can wear. Ridiculously cut.

Norah Jones sings... the Yankees go up 5-0... the video recap reminds us that the audience vote is important.

They brought out the three highest scores.

First safe -- Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer
Second safe -- Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson
Third safe -- Mya & Dmitry Chaplin

Der.

VIDEO PACKAGE! This is to tell us how busy they are on Mondays.... ugh.

They then bring out the three couples that tied with a score of 24.

Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough (Maksim) are in jeopardy!
Fourth couple saved is Kelly Osbourne & Louis Van Amstel
Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff are in jeopardy!

They now bring out the two couples that are the lowest male and female stars (Michael and Natalie).

Fifth couple saved is Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova
Natalie Coughlin & Alec Mazo are in jeopardy.

At this point, three highest scores are in jeopardy!

Norah Jones sings again.

Sixth couple saved is Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower YAY!
Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas are still in jeopardy.

Macy's Stars of Dance -- Now it is time for the Michael Jackson tribute! Plenty of people say nice things about him. It was awesome. Good job ABC.

Four couples are left and Tom and Samantha f*ck with their minds -- I love the way they are doing this this season... it is sooooooo mean.

Seventh couple saved is Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas
Eighth couple saved isJoanna Krupa & Derek Hough (Maksim)

The bottom two are Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff and Natalie Coughlin & Alec Mazo

The couple booted this week is:

Natalie Coughlin & Alec Mazo

Dancing With the Stars -- Week 5!

The hair people are mad at Samantha as her hair is bigger than the Balloon Boy's balloon!

The Argentine Tango or the Paso Doble will be danced by everyone and then there will be a group dance... The Hustle!

Natalie Coughlin & Alec Mazo are dancing the Paso Doble which is a power dance. During the video, she seems to be asking a ton of detailed and technical questions. Her dance begins and I am not sure why I can't connect with her at all... ever. She isn't bad at all and her Wonder Woman outfit is lovely. Len thought it was a good dance and clean, but it wasn't aggressive enough. Not enough character or chemistry. Bruno agreed... as does Carrie Ann. Thier scores are 7, 8, 7 for a total of 22.

Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff was in the bottom two last week and they are dancing the Argentine Tango. TW tells me that he was on Ellen today and was pretty boring. The video was boring and Aaron is a boy "that has become a man." Ugh. The dance is incredibly slow and kind of odd.Maybe I just don't like the Argentine Tango. Bruno liked him a lot as did the other two whackos. Thier scores are 8, 8, 8 for a total of 24.

Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova is up and doing the Paso Doble. Anna says... that you must bestron and stiff like you are holding a coin in your butt cheeks. So... Michael puts a coin in his butt. It's all amusing. There is a lot more of her in the dance than him until the end of the dance where he takes over. Carrie Ann liked the dance a lot. Michael gives Bruno the quarter that he had in his butt. Their scores are 7, 7, 7 for a total of 21.

Mya & Dmitry Chaplin were sexy last week. They are doing the Argentine Tango this week. During the video, they are practicing a lot of lifts... lots of lifts.They go build some houses with Habitat for Humanity... arrogant way of approaching their dance... why bother practicing? The dance is... ummm... perfect? Too bad er personality is so boring. Their scores are 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27.

Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer are up next and Lacey Schwimmer's hair is higher that Cheech and Chong combined. Lacey is having a tough time teaching Mark how to be aggressive for the dance... The Paso Doble. PErsonally... aside from the music and Lacey's hair, I thought it was very good. Bruno adored it. Carrie Ann thought it was amazing. Their scores were 9, 9, 8 for a total of 26.

Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson was too theatrical last week. Donny is busy. THe video is understated for Donny... but a funny moment is when asked if he knows what Passionate means... he responds with... "I have five kids..." The dance seemed really good this week. Everyone seems to be really stepping it up. Carrie Ann just fell in love with Donny... and his sexiness. Their scores are 10, 9, 10 for a total of 29.

Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower are ready to get over the crappy dance from last week... and are focussed on their Argentine Tango for this week. They say it is goign to be "hot." I hope that at least Chelsie is... I am not too concerned about Louie. Louie Vito is the only celebrity that Chelsie could dance with where her legs look long. Again... another good dance. Everyone seems to be stepping up. The judges liked them... too. Their scores are 7, 8, 7 for a total of 22.

Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas broke through last week... BUT DRAMA!!!!!!!! Mark has the flu and they might not be truly prepared for this week's Argentine Tango. Anna Treyunsky fills in for Mark for a day. She is ready and Mark and her are awfully close face to face for this dance. Her dance is good... not as good as last week, but good. This is the first time the judges aren't positive about someone tonight. She "looked grumpy" according to Bruno. Carrie Ann disagreed though. Their scores are 8, 8, 7 for a total of 23.

Kelly Osbourne & Louis Van Amstel are second to last and they are dancing the Paso Doble. Louis wants Kelly to pretend she is the cape... not the matador or the bull. Louis can't get her to stop giggling. They are dancing to Ozzy's Crazy Train. DRAMA!!!!!!!!!! Harold Wheeler's band frigging destroys the song. To us, she seems to be a half second behind with all of her motions. Their scores were 8, 8, 8 for a total of 24. We don't think they deserved that.

Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough(played by Maksim Chmerkovskiy) are up last. There is MORE DRAMA! Derek is so sick that he can't perform tonight. Lots of drama and Maks is teaching her lots of stuff with the Argentine Tango. The dance starts with a lift that was incredible... and then continued into awesomeness. The judges loved it until they stumbled. Carrie Ann and Len were more positive. Their scores were 8, 8, 8 for a total of 24.

Group Dance

There will be no scoring by the judges as they dance the Hustle. Corky Ballas is choreographing the dance. (P.S. Kelly is dancing the dance barefoot since she hurt her foot during her dance earlier.) The cideo was funny... and everyone is practicing their throws and dances. The dance start and everyone is dressed appropriately. Each couple does a cool set of moves, but Kelly's seems the most limited and awkward. It was far from a train wreck and should not affext the scores in the least. Vote away America... vote away!

Scores... Just a reminder!

Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson -- 29
Mya & Dmitry Chaplin -- 27
Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer -- 26
Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough(played by Maksim Chmerkovskiy) -- 24
Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff -- 24
Kelly Osbourne & Louis Van Amstel -- 24
Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas -- 23
Natalie Coughlin & Alec Mazo -- 22
Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower -- 22
Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova -- 21

Survivor Samoa -- Week Five

Ashley
Liz
Ashley
Ashley
Ashley

Tucker's Nuts
Elizabeth Kim (7)
Brett Clouser (10)
Kelly Sharbaugh (11)
Mick Trimming (14)
David Ball (15)
Shannon Waters (18)
Laura Morett (19)
Ashley Trainer (3) -- Booted Week Five
Betsy Bolan (2) -- Booted Week Two
Mike Borassi (6) -- Pulled out In Episode Two (Illness)

Assssshhhfault!!
John Fincher (1)
Erik Cardona (5)
Monica Padilla (8)
Russell Hantz (12)
Natalie White (13)
Russell Swan (16)
Jaison Robinson (20)
Yasmin Giles (17) -- Booted Week Four
Ben Browning (4) -- Booted Week Three
Marisa Calihan (9) -- Booted Week One

Dancing With the Stars Week Four Results

As we start, Tom reminds us that the men sucked and the women were fantastic.... but that doesn't stop us from going.... LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!

TW and I disagree... I think Samantha looks phenomenal.

Let's RECAP!!!!!!!!! FF.

The Encore dance? Melissa and Mark's Charleston... TW... sighs heavily.

Shakira shakes her toosh... and looks great doing it... very much like Scarlet Johannson for some reason. Different.

Let's starting keeping people around... and they will reveal two safe couples and a Bottom Two couple.

First safe -- Mya & Dmitry Chaplin
Second safe -- Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas

The first couple in the bottom two is: Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff Will he cry?

Next week will be the Paso Doble or the Argentine Tango. The pros will remind us of what they are... and Len gives us pointers about them. *yawn* There will also be a Group Hustle.

Let's save more couples.

Third couple saved is Kelly Osbourne & Louis Van Amstel
Fourth couple saved is Natalie Coughlin & Alec Mazo
Fifth couple saved is Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough

All of the women have been saved!

Sixth couple saved is Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer
Seventh couple saved is Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova

Awesome... a video package about their kids. puke... but I revoke my puke when I see Shakira dance and sing again.

The eighth couple saved is Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson
The ninth couple saved is Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower

The bottom two are Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff and Chuck Liddell & Anna Trebunskaya

The couple eliminated this week is:

Chuck Liddell & Anna Trebunskaya

Dancing WIth the Stars Week Four

It's before the show starts and I am feeling a bit giddy since I watched an episode of Modern Family. That's a pretty funny show.

I also want to reaffirm my masculinity and remind everyuone of how awesome the Yankees are for winning the ALDS. The Angels are next and they make me the most nervous out of all the teams in the playoffs.

But I digress... and we are... LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEEEEEEE and tonight we four brand new dances never performed on DWTS -- the Country Two Step, Bolero, Charleston, and the Lambada! The new dances are not standard to the pros as well so it will be a challenge for them as well.

Chuck Liddell & Anna Trebunskaya is up first and they are dancing the Country Two Step and we are reminded that he used to work at a country bar so he should be good at this stuff... right? We shall see since he is allowed to lift Anna. The dance starts and we all smile at the silly costumes. There is a whole bunch of "messin' about" in the beginnning... and the dance quickly devolves into a goofy mess. The judges liked the lifts, but the "entertainment" value was there.... only. They are just scared to really criticize him. Sissies. Their scores were 6, 5, 6 for a total of 17.

Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas are up second and will be doing the Charleston. She has to get over her fears and stop being nervous. They visit a 1920's club. Where the hell are they? When they are there, there is no one else there. Duh. Nice camera work to start. It is all shot in black and white and I am strangely amazed by how well she starts, but by the middle, she starts to miss something.... and then finds it again. Her best one yet. Bruno loved it a lot. Carrie Ann loved it too. Len liked it a lot. Their scores are 9, 9, 10 for 28. What the F?

Natalie Coughlin & Alec Mazo are dancing the Bolero and Alex is going to push her. Alec is tough on her in the video even though he is going to give her really tough choreography if she wants it... bum bum bum. It's another sexy dance whcih she did really well last week. She has such lovely limbs and extensions. I think it was a nice dance. Carrie wasn't a fan. Len thought it was romantic and liked it a lot. Bruno was incoherent. Their scores were 8, 8, 8 for a 24.

Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff was a crybaby last week since he was so weak. So he gets a hug from Michael Irvin who says nice things to him in between his parole hearings. Aaron wants to bring out some gymnastics... uhhh... you write the jokes. ... so he gets a "pro" gymnast to help him out during his Lambada. He starts off with gymnastics and hits it perfectly. During the next few steps... he makes a lot of goofy faces and itis distracting. It's good though. It was good until the very last move and we aren't sure if they messed up or not. LEn thought it was a bit too erratic. Bruno thought the same thing. Carrie thought he wasn't manly enough. He "turned her off". I know why... Their scores were 6, 6, 6 for 18.

Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer are here to dance the Country Two Step. The whole video is about how "uncountry" Mark is. Lots of gags and then the kids arrive and we get to see a nice side of him. The dance is awkward at best... but then it kicks into gear... mostly because Lacey knows that she is the draw of the couple so she shocases herself a whole lot. The judges liked him, but noticed some missing footwork. Their scores are 8, 7, 7 for a 22.

Kelly Osbourne & Louis Van Amstel are up as the Hump Dance and the Charleston. We shall see if she can have any confidence. Kelly auditioned for Chicago and got the role, but they made the dancing weaker for her. ANother annoying selfdeprecating moment...e sp when she announced that she lost the role. The dance starts and she's already a couple of points behind Melissa since it was so well done. It was fun though. The dance done well is a fun dance. The judges loved her. Their scores were 8, 7, 8 for a total of 23.

Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough is here to dance the Lambada. Derek says that the Lambada has a lot of thrusting and gyrating. Then he deadpans with... "I have the best job in the world." Joanna wants to do the tough stuff to prove herself. They are passionate about over pet population so they volunteer. Silliness enues. Derek starts by taking off his shirt right away making them a pretty sexy couple. The dance is far sexier than Aaron Carter's version of it. It was just what I think Len wants. Raunchy and good. I was right. Len loved it and already chose it for the encore for tomorrow. Bruno is hysterically incoherent. Carrie loved it too. His scores are 9, 8, 9 for a total of 26.

Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson are dancing next and the video is insanely crazy as Donny goes crazy on film. This is interesting editting since he is so much fun so far. It all comes down to one thing. He's a perfectionist. They are dancing the Charleston. It's a lot of fun and I liked it a lot. I hope I can move as well as he does when I am his age... but it hurt to get the remote to fast forward through the commercials. Bruno thought he did well but could have been sharper. Their scores are 8, 8, 8 for a total of 24.

Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova are up next and I am bored of him. I really can't get passed not liking him in real life and Anna Demidova just can't choreograph yet for this show. She brings in Tony Dovolani to teach the Bolero since he is a world champion at the dance. I cannot be objective with him. Carrie likes him as a person but thought that it was posing too much. Len liked it a lot and Bruno did not. Thier scores were 5, 6, 5 for a total of 16.

Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower are channelling Ty Murray for lessons in how to be "country" for the Country Two Step. Chelsie has never done this before... so this should be interesting and comical. Will he dance at all? When he does. The dance is correct but it just seems boring until the end. All three judges agree that it was boring. Their scores are 5, 5, 6 for a total of 16.

Mya & Dmitry Chaplin will end the show with the Lambada. She is last on the floor and will she see the 10s again after last week? Lots of hype... She admits that Dmitry's choreography is complex and she is getting a bit too frisky and lippy. She gets involved in the choreography... that will be awesome or horrific. Uhhhh... that was phenomenal. Bruno and Carrie loved them. Will Len like it? Not sure... his comments were kind of assholy. Their scores are 10, 8, 10 for a total of 28.

Scores... Just a reminder!

Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas -- 28
Mya & Dmitry Chaplin -- 28
Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough -- 26
Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson -- 24
Natalie Coughlin & Alec Mazo -- 24
Kelly Osbourne & Louis Van Amstel -- 23
Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer -- 22
Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff -- 18
Chuck Liddell & Anna Trebunskaya -- 17
Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova -- 16
Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower -- 16

Survivor Samoa -- Week Four!

We are reminded that Ben was an asshole and was voted out. Night 8... and the show opens on Foa Foa. Jaison has declared that coming to Samoa was the "worst decision that he has ever made in his entire life." RussHell reminds the audience that he is under control of the whole show.

Quest time -- Good Russell chooses Shambo and Dave to go with him while Mike chooses Russell and Natalie. They eventually meet and are hanging out on the beach. No Jeff but there is a chest and a chicken. Lots of speculating. Eventually... everyone just starts fighting for something. They eventually realize that a game is to be played... and it's basically... bocce ball. It eventually comes down to RussHell and Dave. Of course... RussHell is good at the game. Dave has last shot with 3 Foa Foa balls closest. He concentrates and puts it against the post. Well done. Foa Foa loses... Again... and Galu gets the chickens.

Meanwhile... Erik is back and Galu looking for the Immunity Idol using clues that he got from Shambo who got clues when she was visiting the other tribe. He is really really involved in the process while everyone else is sleeeping... and he finds it.

Russell and Natalie are joining forces for a final two and they mock each other and their weaknesses to the camera. Fascinating.

Shambo is in charge of the chickens and one of the escapes. Erik gets "clotheslined by the clothesline" as told by Dave who is becoming my new favorite player.

Back to Galu at camp... and the tribe is incredibly annoyed by Yasmin since she is lazy. (heh heh)

Immunity Challenge! It's a net run and block stack and rope bridge and more block stacking. Interesting... as Galu has to find FOUR people to sit out the challenge.

The result is simple... Foa Foa comes from WAY behind and they win. Who will be going home from Galu. Shambo or Yasmin? That's who they have editted so far. After the challenge... Monica is on the chopping block as well.

Dave, Monica, John, and Russell seem to be agreeing that it is Yasmin or Shambo and it seems that it will be Yasmin... but many others are talking about Monica behind her back.

Yasmin is openning her mouth to the camera and she is a turd.

It gets back to calm cool and collected Russell who is furious that decisions were being made without consulting him. He slams some stuff violently.

Tribal Council

When asked about who contributes, someone calls out Yasmin and she opens her fat mouth. She is an idiot. MOnica then claims she did really well in the challenge. So many people are completely unaware of themselves. It's gross. Dave remains classy and I like him.

It's time to vote and Jeff... I think his name is Jeff... will count the votes.

Yasmin
Yasmin
Monica
Monica
Yasmin
Yasmin
Yasmin
Yasmin

Suck it Yasmin. I will not miss you at all.

Tucker's Nuts
Ashley Trainer (3)
Elizabeth Kim (7)
Brett Clouser (10)
Kelly Sharbaugh (11)
Mick Trimming (14)
David Ball (15)
Shannon Waters (18)
Laura Morett (19)
Betsy Bolan (2) -- Booted Week Two
Mike Borassi (6) -- Pulled out In Episode Two (Illness)

Assssshhhfault!!
John Fincher (1)
Erik Cardona (5)
Monica Padilla (8)
Russell Hantz (12)
Natalie White (13)
Russell Swan (16)
Jaison Robinson (20)
Yasmin Giles (17) -- Booted Week Four
Ben Browning (4) -- Booted Week Three
Marisa Calihan (9) -- Booted Week One

Dancing With the Stars Results Show! Week 3

We....

Are....

LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEE............

Samantha is in black so that means that she is lovely. No one is allowed to argue with me about this. You won't have time since I am fast forwarding through the recap.

Judges' Choice have chosen Chuck and Anna's Samba to be the repeat dance and then the first special guest is Queen Latifah...

FIIIIINALLLLLY... it's time to start saving some people.

First saved -- Tom Delay & Cheryl Burke
Second saved -- Chuck Liddell & Anna Trebunskaya

Video Montage!!!!!!!!!

When we come out of the video montage, they have Tom Delay & Cheryl Burke on stage alone who announce that he will be unable to continue next week even though he was saved. They are still going to send home the couple with the lowest score.



Third saved -- Mya & Dmitry Chaplin
Fourth saved -- Natalie Coughlin & Alec Mazo
Fifth saved -- Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson
Sixth saved -- Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower
Seventh saved -- Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer

This is where I make no comments about Sabrina Bryan coming back... NO COMMENT... but Jabbawocky is on and they are fun and they are dancing to Singin' in the Rain... one of my favorites.

Queen Latifah sings again and then... another video montage with Steve Wozniak who leads some sort of segment about mathematics.

Eighth saved -- Kelly Osbourne & Louis Van Amstel
Ninth saved -- Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas

The four in jeopardy:

Debi Mazar & Maksim Chmerkovskiy
Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova
Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough
Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff

Tenth saved -- Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough
Eleventh saved -- Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff

The final two are Debi Mazar & Maksim Chmerkovskiy and Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova

And the final boot is...........

Debi Mazar & Maksim Chmerkovskiy

Dancing With the Stars Week Tres!

So last night, I was in DC and I was stuck at a dinner and then a hanging out session afterwards that saw me returning to the room after the football game so I missed the whole episode.

But it is nice to finally be in the comfort of my own room and watching the episode.

I hate myself. I watched all the way to Donny Osmond and I ended up deleting the whole damn entry.

Screw the posting... this week. How do I keep doing this?

I suck.

Scores... Just a reminder!

Mya & Dmitry Chaplin -- 27
Natalie Coughlin & Alec Mazo -- 26
Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough -- 23
Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson -- 21
Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff -- 21
Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower -- 20
Kelly Osbourne & Louis Van Amstel -- 20
Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas -- 19
Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer -- 18
Debi Mazar & Maksim Chmerkovskiy -- 17
Chuck Liddell & Anna Trebunskaya -- 17
Tom Delay & Cheryl Burke -- 15 (I don't like the guy or their costumes, but damn.. dancing through TWO stress fractures in your feet is pretty amazing.)
Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova -- 14

The Invention of Lying Movie Going Experience

Previews!

Pirate Radio

The Men Who Stare at Goats

Tooth Fairy

Sherlock Holmes

The Box

Thought About the Movie

A sweet movie that is a victim of its own gimmick.

Solid flick and more subversive than you would think.

Survivor Samoa -- Week Three

We are starting an hour late and I am having a sneezing attack for some reason.

Russell Swan loves himself. Hot damn loves himself...

Ben is a real cocky a$$hole and he is the only one who doesn't seem to know it. Russell S. loves this of course because he knows that as long as Ben is around, he will never be on the chopping block first.

Meanwhile... the other tribe is doing yoga together and are more at peace. Except for Shambo. She's the mullet woman. Hee hee...

Immunity & Reward Challenge!

People run in the ocean... to collect crates... You can be tackled when you come back by the other tribe. There are blocks with puzzles... Lots of chicks in new bikinis too... Galu wins and there is much rejoicing...

For the next 30 minutes, we get to watch Russell S. manipulate everyone. How can it not be Ben going home with all the footage they have had of him.

Shambo is sent to watch Foa Foa... and will enjoy all the secret manipulations!

Ben keeps saying .. "Bye Bye Ashley." Hrm... really?

Everyone in this camp likes SHambo so the other side is missing out.

Lots of scheming and coniving and it is finalllllly time for Tribal Council...

A bunch of people want Ashley to go home and a bunch of people want Ben to go home including Jaison who has even announced that he will quit if it isn't Ben gone. Russell really is a brilliant guy manipulating everyone.

Jaisson and Ben are at the middle of a lot of angry discussions that involve a lot of bickering and hurt feelings. There is a lot of racial stuff getting brought up.

It's time for a vote. Jeff will count the votes.

Ben
Ashley
Ben
Ben
Ben

YES!!!!!!!!! Bye bye douche bag.

Tucker's Nuts
Ashley Trainer (3)
Elizabeth Kim (7)
Brett Clouser (10)
Kelly Sharbaugh (11)
Mick Trimming (14)
David Ball (15)
Shannon Waters (18)
Laura Morett (19)
Betsy Bolan (2) -- Booted Week Two
Mike Borassi (6) -- Pulled out In Episode Two (Illness)

Assssshhhfault!!
John Fincher (1)
Erik Cardona (5)
Monica Padilla (8)
Russell Hantz (12)
Natalie White (13)
Russell Swan (16)
Yasmin Giles (17)
Jaison Robinson (20)
Ben Browning (4) -- Booted Week Three
Marisa Calihan (9) -- Booted Week One