Friday, September 21, 2007
Thursday, September 20, 2007
Survivor Returns in CHINA and so Does My Total Survivor Game Domination
Survivor returns to television for the 15th season and I am proud to once again be kicking some major toosh in the game. I had two victims last season and I see that both have returned for another beating.
For the long time folks... I have beaten Asshfault 9 times out of 12 and now... my second victim (FBT) has taken one beating out of one time (Hey FBT's wife... I am an enabler... and an alcoholic now that I keep winning.....)
Here's the picks... and... remember... the parenthesis indicate when they were picked in the draft.
GAME ONE
Tucker's Nuts
1. Courtney (1)
2. Todd (4)
3. Denise (5)
4. Peigh-Gee (8)
5. James (9)
6. Erik (12)
7. Dave (13)
8. Leslie (16)
ASSSHHHHFAULT
1. Amanda (2)
2. Ashley (3)
3. Jean-Robert (6)
4. Steve (Chicken) (7)
5. Aaron (10)
6. Frostie (11)
7. Jamie (14)
8. Sherea (15)
GAME TWO
Tucker's Nuts
1. Courtney (1)
2. Amanda (4)
3. Todd (5)
4. Denise (8)
5. Peigh-Gee (9)
6. Frostie (12)
7. Jean-Robert (13)
8. Sherea (16)
FBT
1. Erik (2)
2. James (3)
3. Jamie (6)
4. Ashley (7)
5. Dave (10)
6. Aaron (11)
7. Steve (14)
8. Leslie (15)
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Tucker's Vacation -- A Photo Retrospective
Our vacation was great and I have been remiss about writing about some of the awesome adventures we had.
Tucker came with us on our vacation and he had an awesome time.
He ran and ate and slept and ran and ran and ran.
It was dog heaven for Tucker.
I have shown a picture of him when he returned looking all dead and the likes, but here are some of his best memories.
I know this... because he told me so.
On most mornings, Tucker and I would sit on the lake watching the sun rise. Tangentwoman snuck up on us and took this picture.
Earlier in the week, I had caught my first fish and I showed it to Tucker. This was him smelling the Yellow Perch. He had NO IDEA what to make of the flopping fish. The fish eventually flopped its way off the hook and back into the lake making Tucker hide under a chair.
Tucker was hanging out ... and I must have been offering him some evil string cheese or something for him to pose like this!
I love this... he is so freaky shaped that when he sits... his little feet and legs do all sorts of wierd crossings and stuff to create this.
Ahhh... I miss those days.
Tucker came with us on our vacation and he had an awesome time.
He ran and ate and slept and ran and ran and ran.
It was dog heaven for Tucker.
I have shown a picture of him when he returned looking all dead and the likes, but here are some of his best memories.
I know this... because he told me so.
On most mornings, Tucker and I would sit on the lake watching the sun rise. Tangentwoman snuck up on us and took this picture.
Earlier in the week, I had caught my first fish and I showed it to Tucker. This was him smelling the Yellow Perch. He had NO IDEA what to make of the flopping fish. The fish eventually flopped its way off the hook and back into the lake making Tucker hide under a chair.
Tucker was hanging out ... and I must have been offering him some evil string cheese or something for him to pose like this!
I love this... he is so freaky shaped that when he sits... his little feet and legs do all sorts of wierd crossings and stuff to create this.
Ahhh... I miss those days.
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
String Cheese Stresses Me Out
Here's a surprise for you.
String cheese... stresses me the F out.
I can't deal with it.
I hate eating it and ... for the love of everything that is good and holy... I love cheese...
I think that if you were to take a cross section of my body, you would find a layer of cheese somewhere in my person.
When I was in Maine, our vacation partners offered me some string cheese and I looked at it with dread.
I didn't tell them, but I was scared of the package.
I took it anyway...because... afterall, it was cheese!
I took it downstairs and timidly opened the package.
The smell of glorious cheese filled the air and I felt my stomach tighten up in excitement.
Then... my big nubby fingers ruined it all and tried to pull the cheese apart.
"CRAP!" I exclaimed. "I hate my stupid fingers."
I couldn't get it to peel and all of my old deep seeded hatred for string cheese came to the forefront.
Three minutes later after holding my breath longer than David Blaine's peasant attempts in a recent special, I bit the top off of it and gave up.
Too much stress... just too much stress.
Monday, September 17, 2007
Stupid Raiders
Seabass is showing you exactly how I feel about being a Raiders fan.
Damn you NFL gods... Damn you all...
Rutgers Accomplishes Something Neat
Yeah... Norfolk State and Rutgers had no business playing each other even though it was scheduled before Rutgers was good.
Yeah... Rutgers' third string was scoring touchdowns... but this is pretty neat...
It's from the AP.
"The six-touchdown avalanche produced 277 yards in just 11 plays and 91 seconds. The scoring drives covered 52, 28, 92, 46, 42 and 53 yards and lasted two, one, two, two, three and two plays."
That... was a description of... the second quarter.
The Norfolk State coach was understandably upset... but hey... their band was f*cking awesome at half time.
F*cking awesome.
Yeah... Rutgers' third string was scoring touchdowns... but this is pretty neat...
It's from the AP.
"The six-touchdown avalanche produced 277 yards in just 11 plays and 91 seconds. The scoring drives covered 52, 28, 92, 46, 42 and 53 yards and lasted two, one, two, two, three and two plays."
That... was a description of... the second quarter.
The Norfolk State coach was understandably upset... but hey... their band was f*cking awesome at half time.
F*cking awesome.
Rutgers -- Screwing Up a Good Thing
Crap... I am currently on a trip in Washington, DC (Staying in Arlington at a new and really good hotel even though it is a Clarion).
Rutgers is having a kick ass year... again... and all people can do is point out the behavior of 30 people towards Navy.
Geez... just leave me alone.
On a more positive note... Rutgers is up to 11th now.
Cool....they have this week off.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Saturday, September 15, 2007
stupid survey/quiz thing
75 Random Questions
Do you have any pets?
Tucker!!!!!!!!!!!! If you don't know that by now... shame on you.
What color shirt are you wearing?
White and blue and light blue and some sort of clear thing I dropped on it weeks ago and a yello stain over here and a green one too... how the hell...
Name three things that are physically close to you:
Tangentwoman, Tucker, Animal Crackers in the shape of cats
What is the last book you read?
Son of a Witch -- Don't ask me what it was about.
Are you or were you a good student?
Who studied?
What's your favorite sport?
Football is my favorite sport to watch and play.
Do you enjoy sleeping late?
Hate it... I really do.
What's the weather like right now?
Do you really care?
Who tells the best jokes?
Me... of course... but often times... I am not actually telling jokes. My life is that funny.
What was the last thing you dreamed about?
I don't dream.
Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
Is it me or are these questions getting dumber?
Do you believe in karma?
No... I run a death pool for goodness sake.
Do you believe in luck?
Depends on my mood for the day.
Do you like your eggs scrambled or sunny side up?
Both...
Do you collect anything? If so, what?
I collect fantasy football wins.
Are you proud of yourself?
Yeah I think so.
Are you reliable?
Certainly... almost annoyingly so.
Have you ever given money to a bum?
Yes... and I hate to admit it but it is normally to leave me alone.
What's your favorite food?
Chocolate.... cheese... there are so many.
Have you ever had a secret admirer?
Yes... but I would officially describe her as a stalker. She broke into my apartment. That was not a fun confrontation.
Do you like the smell of gasoline?
AHHHHHH. yes... but not on my fingers.
Do like to draw?
No... I like to doodle.
What's your favorite invention?
The Internet... Al Gore rules...
Is your room messy?
I pay a mortgage... I don't have a "room." I own a house (with my wife of course).
What do you like better: oranges or apples?
If they are cut and prepared... I would rather an apple. Otherwise... I'll just stare at them and consider them too much work to eat.
Do you give in easily?
Nope
Are you a good guesser?
Yeup.
Can you read other people's expressions?
I always read way too much into them, but I’m usually pretty much on target.
Are you a bully?
In board games... I am the biggest bully onthe planet... but I warn you ahead of time... and yet... people still get pissed at me.
Do you have a job?
Yeup... (more boring questions)
What time did you wake up this morning?
about 6ish
What did you eat for breakfast this morning?
I forget... but I can tell you ... it wasn't an apple or orange (see above)
When was the last time you showered?
this morning
What do you plan on doing tomorrow?
eat, sleep, poop
What's your favorite day of the week and why?
Every single day that I wake up. I have a fear that I just won't wake up one day and since I don't dream... it will be doubly sad.
Do you have any nicknames?
Not really... I hate nicknames. I have actually stopped talking to people because they ignore me and kept calling me by my last name. Very few people call me that and I will stop talking to you if you don't stop.
Have you ever been scuba diving?
Nope
What's your least favorite color?
probably blue
Is there someone you have been constantly thinking about? If yes, who?
Tucker's mom. Thank you Tucker's mom!!!!
Would you ever go skydiving?
Absolutely.
What toothpaste do you use?
Colgate
Do you enjoy challenges?
For the most part I do.
What's the worst injury you have had?
broke my thumb, but at least I had lunch! (inside joke)
What's the last movie you saw?
Hot Fuzz (I don't remember... but damn.. Hot Fuzz is an awesome flick.)
What do you want to know about the future?
Can I get a woo woo?
What does your last text message say?
STOP FUCKING SENDING ME TEXT MESSAGES! (I am assuming I can put this... even though it was an outgoing message.)
Who was the last person you spoke over the phone to?
Tangentwoman.
What's your favorite school subject?
Math -- surprise you? I was a math genius.
What's your least favorite school subject?
English. Screw you Ms. Richardson... may you rot in "proverbial" heck.
Would you rather have money or love?
How about a love of money? That would satisfy both.
What is your dream vacation?
sitting in Santorini as high up as I can go with my wife and Tucker... and not having but a beer and sandwich as I look over the Mediterranean Sea
What is your favorite animal?
Dogs of course.
Do you miss anyone right now?
Nope...
What's the last sporting event you watched?
RUTGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you need to do laundry?
I always do... it's a compulsion
Do you listen to the radio?
yeup... and satellite... that counts... right?
Where were you when 9/11 happened?
In the office... we left early.
What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
kick the shit out of them.
Have you ever caught a butterfly?
Yeup. I filetted it and made a tasty butter sauce out of it.
What color are your bed sheets?
tan and white and whatever... they are uber comfy.
What's your ringtone?
The olde time phone ring... preceded by two vibrations.
Who was the last person to make you laugh?
Tangentwoman
Do you have any obsessions right now?
RUTGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you like things that glow in the dark?
Who cares?
What's your favorite fruity scent?
Watermelon -- but I hate eating it.
Do you watch cartoons?
Yes... but not kiddie cartoons. Just adult cartoons.
Have you ever sat on a roof?
All the time.
Have you ever been to a different country?
yep – Greece, Italy, Croatia, Germany, Dominican Republic
Name three things in the world you dislike:
Gwentyth Paltrow, Gwentyth Paltrow, Gwentyth Paltrow
Name three people in the world you dislike:
Gwentyth Paltrow, Gwentyth Paltrow, Gwentyth Paltrow
Has a rumor even been spread about you?
Yeup... I was the fucker who started it. I swear... no joke... 11 inches.
Do you like sushi?
Most of it.
Do you believe in magic?
nah
Do you hold grudges?
Obsessively so. Not that you care... but stay off my bad side.
Do you have any pets?
Tucker!!!!!!!!!!!! If you don't know that by now... shame on you.
What color shirt are you wearing?
White and blue and light blue and some sort of clear thing I dropped on it weeks ago and a yello stain over here and a green one too... how the hell...
Name three things that are physically close to you:
Tangentwoman, Tucker, Animal Crackers in the shape of cats
What is the last book you read?
Son of a Witch -- Don't ask me what it was about.
Are you or were you a good student?
Who studied?
What's your favorite sport?
Football is my favorite sport to watch and play.
Do you enjoy sleeping late?
Hate it... I really do.
What's the weather like right now?
Do you really care?
Who tells the best jokes?
Me... of course... but often times... I am not actually telling jokes. My life is that funny.
What was the last thing you dreamed about?
I don't dream.
Do you drive? If so, have you ever crashed?
Is it me or are these questions getting dumber?
Do you believe in karma?
No... I run a death pool for goodness sake.
Do you believe in luck?
Depends on my mood for the day.
Do you like your eggs scrambled or sunny side up?
Both...
Do you collect anything? If so, what?
I collect fantasy football wins.
Are you proud of yourself?
Yeah I think so.
Are you reliable?
Certainly... almost annoyingly so.
Have you ever given money to a bum?
Yes... and I hate to admit it but it is normally to leave me alone.
What's your favorite food?
Chocolate.... cheese... there are so many.
Have you ever had a secret admirer?
Yes... but I would officially describe her as a stalker. She broke into my apartment. That was not a fun confrontation.
Do you like the smell of gasoline?
AHHHHHH. yes... but not on my fingers.
Do like to draw?
No... I like to doodle.
What's your favorite invention?
The Internet... Al Gore rules...
Is your room messy?
I pay a mortgage... I don't have a "room." I own a house (with my wife of course).
What do you like better: oranges or apples?
If they are cut and prepared... I would rather an apple. Otherwise... I'll just stare at them and consider them too much work to eat.
Do you give in easily?
Nope
Are you a good guesser?
Yeup.
Can you read other people's expressions?
I always read way too much into them, but I’m usually pretty much on target.
Are you a bully?
In board games... I am the biggest bully onthe planet... but I warn you ahead of time... and yet... people still get pissed at me.
Do you have a job?
Yeup... (more boring questions)
What time did you wake up this morning?
about 6ish
What did you eat for breakfast this morning?
I forget... but I can tell you ... it wasn't an apple or orange (see above)
When was the last time you showered?
this morning
What do you plan on doing tomorrow?
eat, sleep, poop
What's your favorite day of the week and why?
Every single day that I wake up. I have a fear that I just won't wake up one day and since I don't dream... it will be doubly sad.
Do you have any nicknames?
Not really... I hate nicknames. I have actually stopped talking to people because they ignore me and kept calling me by my last name. Very few people call me that and I will stop talking to you if you don't stop.
Have you ever been scuba diving?
Nope
What's your least favorite color?
probably blue
Is there someone you have been constantly thinking about? If yes, who?
Tucker's mom. Thank you Tucker's mom!!!!
Would you ever go skydiving?
Absolutely.
What toothpaste do you use?
Colgate
Do you enjoy challenges?
For the most part I do.
What's the worst injury you have had?
broke my thumb, but at least I had lunch! (inside joke)
What's the last movie you saw?
Hot Fuzz (I don't remember... but damn.. Hot Fuzz is an awesome flick.)
What do you want to know about the future?
Can I get a woo woo?
What does your last text message say?
STOP FUCKING SENDING ME TEXT MESSAGES! (I am assuming I can put this... even though it was an outgoing message.)
Who was the last person you spoke over the phone to?
Tangentwoman.
What's your favorite school subject?
Math -- surprise you? I was a math genius.
What's your least favorite school subject?
English. Screw you Ms. Richardson... may you rot in "proverbial" heck.
Would you rather have money or love?
How about a love of money? That would satisfy both.
What is your dream vacation?
sitting in Santorini as high up as I can go with my wife and Tucker... and not having but a beer and sandwich as I look over the Mediterranean Sea
What is your favorite animal?
Dogs of course.
Do you miss anyone right now?
Nope...
What's the last sporting event you watched?
RUTGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you need to do laundry?
I always do... it's a compulsion
Do you listen to the radio?
yeup... and satellite... that counts... right?
Where were you when 9/11 happened?
In the office... we left early.
What do you do when vending machines steal your money?
kick the shit out of them.
Have you ever caught a butterfly?
Yeup. I filetted it and made a tasty butter sauce out of it.
What color are your bed sheets?
tan and white and whatever... they are uber comfy.
What's your ringtone?
The olde time phone ring... preceded by two vibrations.
Who was the last person to make you laugh?
Tangentwoman
Do you have any obsessions right now?
RUTGERS!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you like things that glow in the dark?
Who cares?
What's your favorite fruity scent?
Watermelon -- but I hate eating it.
Do you watch cartoons?
Yes... but not kiddie cartoons. Just adult cartoons.
Have you ever sat on a roof?
All the time.
Have you ever been to a different country?
yep – Greece, Italy, Croatia, Germany, Dominican Republic
Name three things in the world you dislike:
Gwentyth Paltrow, Gwentyth Paltrow, Gwentyth Paltrow
Name three people in the world you dislike:
Gwentyth Paltrow, Gwentyth Paltrow, Gwentyth Paltrow
Has a rumor even been spread about you?
Yeup... I was the fucker who started it. I swear... no joke... 11 inches.
Do you like sushi?
Most of it.
Do you believe in magic?
nah
Do you hold grudges?
Obsessively so. Not that you care... but stay off my bad side.
Friday, September 14, 2007
It's a Simple DUMB Thing
I like animal crackers... love them actually.
It gives me great pleasure eating them.
It also... for some stupid ass reason... gives me some great pleasure to feed the cat shaped ones to Tucker.
My big ass pansy cat dog loves animal crackers too and in my mind... he loves the cat crackers the most.
I envision him drooling at the opportunity to rip the head off a cat.
.JPG)
He is a bad ass ... in my mind...
He rules the world of cats vs dogs and his doman requires that he eats all of the inferior cats.
It is my world... and I live in it alone sometimes.
.JPG)
It gives me great pleasure eating them.
It also... for some stupid ass reason... gives me some great pleasure to feed the cat shaped ones to Tucker.
My big ass pansy cat dog loves animal crackers too and in my mind... he loves the cat crackers the most.
I envision him drooling at the opportunity to rip the head off a cat.
.JPG)
He is a bad ass ... in my mind...
He rules the world of cats vs dogs and his doman requires that he eats all of the inferior cats.
It is my world... and I live in it alone sometimes.
.JPG)
Thursday, September 13, 2007
Three Word Movie Reviews
The Adventures of Brisco County Jr. -- Safe Sturdy Show
The Astronaut Farmer -- Sweet, Cute, Predictable
Broken English -- Slow but Decent
The Contract -- Definition of Mediocrity
Delta Farce -- Oof... That's SHIT.
The Ex -- Dumb but Entertaining
Georgia Rule -- Better Than Expected
Kickin' It Old Skool -- Kick to Curb
Monk (Season 5) -- Still Got It!
Muderous Intent (Like Minds) -- Gripping Yet... Not.
Offside -- Engagingly Informative...Different
Perfect Stranger -- Somewhat Predictable Throwaway
Reno 911! (Season 2) -- Had Good Time
Starter For 10 -- Cute, Light Hearted
Superbad -- Laugh Riot...Dirty
Wind That Shakes the Barley -- Long and Tedious
Year of the Dog -- Dark Comedy... Unique
The Astronaut Farmer -- Sweet, Cute, Predictable
Broken English -- Slow but Decent
The Contract -- Definition of Mediocrity
Delta Farce -- Oof... That's SHIT.
The Ex -- Dumb but Entertaining
Georgia Rule -- Better Than Expected
Kickin' It Old Skool -- Kick to Curb
Monk (Season 5) -- Still Got It!
Muderous Intent (Like Minds) -- Gripping Yet... Not.
Offside -- Engagingly Informative...Different
Perfect Stranger -- Somewhat Predictable Throwaway
Reno 911! (Season 2) -- Had Good Time
Starter For 10 -- Cute, Light Hearted
Superbad -- Laugh Riot...Dirty
Wind That Shakes the Barley -- Long and Tedious
Year of the Dog -- Dark Comedy... Unique
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia -- TOMORROW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
IT's politically incorrect!
It's wrong!
Watch it... Tomorrow... Thursday....
It's wrong!
Watch it... Tomorrow... Thursday....
Book 47 of 52 -- Not to Be Announced
I wish that I could write about the 47th book.
It is a book by one of the people (companies) that I work for.
Writing his name and what the book was about will give away too much about who I am...
I will say that they were true story anecdotes about his personal life and I will recommend it to anyone who wants to know that I know.
It's a fun story... but mostly funnnier because I know the people involved...
It is a book by one of the people (companies) that I work for.
Writing his name and what the book was about will give away too much about who I am...
I will say that they were true story anecdotes about his personal life and I will recommend it to anyone who wants to know that I know.
It's a fun story... but mostly funnnier because I know the people involved...
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