Weeds -- Season 2

Seriously kids. One of the funniest shows on television... ever is WEEDS.

It started out as the story of a suburban widow who sells weed to make ends meet and has become so much more.

It is such a perfectly inappropriate show and I recommend that you all watch it as soon as you get a chance... Mary-Louise Parker, Elizabeth Perkins, and Kevin Nealon are

Here are some of my favorite lines....

Man -- You will rue the day
Woan -- Rue my ass
Man -- There isn't enough rue

I'm listening. Your Judiasm is like Ghostbusters.

I am glad that our last name is not Drew because then you would be Nancy Drew and I would be Andrew Drew

Kid -- There's a kid at school who says that if you don't pick your nose, they will block off your airway and you will die.
Uncle -- That seems possible.

Probably flushing his "jerk" socks down the toilet...

You taking pussy to a whole new level.

Listen. I am not going to beat around the bush. (First line in a masturbation speech to a kid.)

White Woman -- What's in a bean pie?
Black Woman -- Ground up white babies with nutmeg.

You didn't hobble over here with your bruised vagina to chase my blues away.

I'll call it the This is Not Fine fine and keep collecting it until they can't pay their mortgage.

How do you ask the woman who makes your kids' lunches to suck your balls and spread her ass.

Ain't the lucky stars shining on your lady parts?

Did you just propose? Damn, you don't waste no time Farrakhan. Hi. May I please speak with a Mr. Fuckheusen?

I don't know. He just yelled "out of my way brownie!" and ran.

No I didn't piss on your plant. I watered it with my urine.

My argument for the popular vote? George W. Bush. (Ovation)

Now that I am partially toeless, there's no chance that I will be sent Iraq.

I am wearing 500 bucks worth of hair extensions from India. (Pause) Take a sniff. You can smell curry.

Wow. My sweat smells like peanuts.

Did a free cheese grater come with the girlfriend?

Did he ever hit you Nancy?
I'm not filled with candy.