Book 15 of 52 -- Tom Perrotta's Joe College

I like Tom Perrotta.

A lot.

This is a very funny look back at college life in the early 80's.

I went to college a decade later but can still see a lot of myself in the protagonist and his friends.

Danny, the main character,comes from a working-class background, which causes him to view Yale with a somewhat different perspective than his well-to-do dormmates.

Although he enthusiastically samples this foreign world, he finds he is not able to leave his old life behind so easily.

During a vacation, he becomes involved with an old high school classmate, and, largely due to his own passivity, lets the relationship continue after he goes back to school.

The second half of the book takes place during a school break and examines the truth to the statement "you can't go home again" as Danny takes over his father's lunch truck route while he is recuperating from an operation.

I won't describe all the messes this young man becomes entangled with, but suffice to say how he finally resolves them is hilarious.

The only thing I disliked about the book was the often almost-maddening passivity of Danny.

He seemed to have a knack for getting out of tough spots due to luck, not his own effort.

As a result, he did not seem to grow much by the end.

However, for a spot-on look at college during the Reagan years, read "Joe College."

(I Think)

Survivor Fans Vs Favorites -- Week 4 Debuts Later Today

Reminders... Cirie has more power than we think... Joel negotiated a pretty cool swerve on Mikey. Mikey was pissed and tried to tell Joel how stupid it was. Confrontation ensues.

Can someone please tell me how these frigging "FANS" have no idea how to make fire? Haven't you watched 15 seasons of this and should know how to make frigging fire?

The theme of Cirie having lots of power as the swing vote is being trumped up BIG time again... I wonder... umm... you know what it means kids. God... Tangentwoman and I again... are reminded of how much we lover her.

Immunity Challenge -- Eliza is filmed saying... "There is NO way we are losing this challenge." I wonder what that means... the tribes arrive with face paint and Jeff Probst is wearing a stupid baseball hat. For the favorites... Jason and his paint look crazy.

The challenge is incredibly physical. It involves wrestling in the water and bags...and tackling and lots o blurred out butts and boobs. Erik is especially violent to Eliza by beating her in the head with a bag and flipping Amanda like a body slam. Of course... James takes exception and the Favorites eventually win.

Did I mention that last week's Exile Island was fun to watch because Cirie was there? This week it's Ami and Kathy... probably going to suck.

Back at camp... Cirie keeps making me smile with her observations and comments. She is not part of either four person alliance left and I am watching her finagle stuff. My gut is telling me that if a Favorite wins this thing, it is going to be Cirie. I love Cirie.

Sooo... we get five minutes of bitching and moaning about how bad it rained the night before. Lots of big tough guys whining and crying. Oh wait! A Chet siting! He is comforting the girls. I am not surprised.

The immunity challenge is upon us and it involves strength and shooting coconuts into a basket. The fans win the challenge and now it is time for all that editting in the beginning of Cirie having the power to vote someone off... let's see what the next 15 minutes holds.

The confrontation between Jonathan and Cirie was fun and amazingly tense. The other people watched in amazement because it was so frigging crazy. People are negotiating and scheming and this is what makes the show so amazing.

After all of this? Yao Man gets the boot.

This was a great episode.

Tonight's Prediction -- Kathy for the fans... Jonathan for the favorites...

Be good kiddies.....be good.

Tucker's Nuts
1. Natalie Bolton (1)
2. Alexis Jones (4)
3. Amanda Kimmel (5)
4. Cirie Fields (8)
5. Ozzy Lusth (9)
6. Parvati Shallow (12)
7. James Clement (13)
8. Eliza Orlins (16)
9. Kathy Sleckman (17)
10. Tracy Hughes-Wolf (20)

ASSSHHHHFAULT
1. Ami Cusack (2)
2. Michael Bortone (3)
3. Joel Anderson(6)
4. Chet Welch (7)
6. Jonathan Penner (11)
7. Erik Reichenbach (14)
8. Jason Siska (15)
5. Yao-Man Chan (10) -- BOOTED WEEK THREE!!!
9. Mary Sartain (18) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!
10. Jonny Fairplay (19) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!

Just Plain Silly

I love that the Garden State is getting rid of their Department of Agriculture... brilliant.

Penelope Cruz at the Oscars

Lovely... just lovely.

Book 14 of 52 -- Stuart Woods' Beverly Hills Dead

Yawn...

For fans of Stuart Woods, be warned that this isn't an action adventure.

The first third of the book is a rather interesting look inside a Hollywood studio after World War II.

The second third deals mainly with the Communist "witch-hunts" that resulted in blacklists and wrecked careers.

True, there's a murder late in the book, but the ending is classic Deus ex Machina, with no real suspense or tension.

As social commentary, it's a fair book.

As a suspense or action novel, it fails. Woods has written many books that are much better.

Flying to Phoenix -- I Hate People

Oh boy...

Just thinking about this trip gets me all tied up in the stomach.

During my recent 2 weeks away from home in two different cities, I had to fly from St. Thomas to Phoenix, Arizona.

There are no direct flights between those two cities.

The only option I had was to fly three separate flights.

The first leg was a hop and a skip over to San Juan.
The second leg was the longest leg and it was from San Juan to Houston.
The third leg rounded out the trip and was from Houston to Phoenix.

All in all? 17 hours travelling time.

Two things stood out on my rather long trip where I read two books and tried to sleep as much as possible, but that is always impossible for me on flights.

The first leg of the trip saw me hanging out in the terminal when a small man popped his head into the terminal and said... "Who here is on flight XXX? Come with me."

Seven of us followed him to his little plane and he said to me, "You can sit next to me."

I sat next to him on his little itty bitty plane and I was extremely concerned to be sitting in the front seat where I could punch out the pilot if I really wanted to.

I have an issue with take offs when I fly, so I thought that this was going to be pretty tough -- it turned out to be extremely soothing since I was able to see everything.

Phew.

The next leg of the flight was five hours and I was sitting next to this couple who had a 2-3 year old who stood ... the entire flight... at the feet of the mother.

She cried and screamed... THE ENTIRE FIVE HOUR FLIGHT and taxiing as well.

I really ... seriously... give a pass to parents that make the attempt to quiet their kids, but these parents essentially ignored their child the entire trip.

If the flight wasn't full, I would have.... nothing....

When I arrived in Houston, I checked in with my office and was pretty crabby (I was told later), but managed to get through the call.

Just to piss me off... I dropped lunch all down the front of my shirt -- ruining it.

Great... but at least I made it to Phoenix safely and in "good" time.

A hotel bed has never felt so good.

Jimmy Kimmel Gets Revenge

Quick Oscars Thought

Only one person last night had an outfit that really stuck out to me either awesome or horrible as I think most people went really safe last night except for Tilda Swinton. I was actually not surprised by her look... it's what I expect.

But.. the person that I just thought looked lovely was Penelope Cruz. Her hair and dress and make up looked perfect.

Just my two cents.

Book 13 of 52 -- Michael Connelly's The Closers

Harry's back from retirement and is chomping at the bit to get back in the old groove.

He's on probation though, as the new chief has stuck his neck out for Harry, whom some cops think is now past it.

Assigned to the unsolved crimes unit, his first case strikes home in the first 10 minutes!!!

Now that Bosch is a father, with and adorable little girl to love, the death of other young girls has become personal for him.

Harry and Kis make a great team, but this case is tricky, perhaps because of some underhanded politicking by the weaselly assistant chief Irving.

The Closers is more a police procedural than a mystery, set in the time period when DNA evidence was coming into its own as a legit technique.

Harry nearly blows his return on several occasions, but, mainly because of his tenacity and intelligence, he and Kis get their man and deliver some belated justice to the victim's heartbroken parents.

Police work at its best.

This is not the most exciting of the Harry Bosch novels, but it is one of the most satisfying.

Bar Stool Economics

Suppose that every day, ten men go out for beer and the bill for all ten comes to $100. If they paid their bill the way we pay our taxes, it would go something like this:
The first four men (the poorest) would pay nothing.
The fifth would pay $1.
The sixth would pay $3.
The seventh would pay $7.
The eighth would pay $12.
The ninth would pay $18.
The tenth man (the richest) would pay $59.
So, that's what they decided to do. The ten men drank in the bar every day and seemed quite happy with the arrangement, until one day, the owner threw them a curve. 'Since you are all such good customers, he said, 'I'm going to reduce the cost of your daily beer by $20. Drinks for the ten now cost just $80.
The group still wanted to pay their bill the way we pay our taxes so the first four men were unaffected. They would still drink for free.
But what about the other six men - the paying customers? How could they divide the $20 windfall so that everyone would get his 'fair share?'
They realized that $20 divided by six is $3.33. But if they subtracted that from everybody's share, then the fifth man and the sixth man would each end up being paid to drink his beer. So, the bar owner suggested that it would be fair to reduce each man's bill by roughly the same amount, and he proceeded to work out the amounts each should pay.!
And so:
The fifth man, like the first four, now paid nothing (100% savings).
The sixth now paid $2 instead of $3 (33%savings).
The seventh now pay $5 instead of $7 (28%savings).
The eighth now paid $9 instead of $12 (25% savings).
The ninth now paid $14 instead of $18 (22% savings).
The tenth now paid $49 instead of $59 (16% savings).
Each of the six was better off than before. And the first four continued to drink for free. But once outside the restaurant, the men began to compare their savings.
'I only got a dollar out of the $20,'declared the sixth man. He pointed to the tenth man,' but he got $10!'
'Yeah, that's right,' exclaimed the fifth man. 'I only saved a dollar, too. It's unfair that he got ten times more than I!'
'That's true!!' shouted the seventh man. 'Why should he get $10 back when I got only two? The wealthy get all the breaks!'
'Wait a minute,' yelled the first four men in unison. 'We didn't get anything at all. The system exploits the poor!'
The nine men surrounded the tenth and beat him up.
The next night the tenth man didn't show up for drinks, so the nine sat down and had beers without him. But when it came time to pay the bill, they discovered something important. They didn't have enough money between all of them for even half of the bill!
And that, boys and girls, journalists and college professors, is how our tax system works. The people who pay the highest taxes get the most benefit from a tax reduction. Tax them too much, attack them for being wealthy, and they just may not show up anymore. In fact, they might start drinking overseas where the atmosphere is somewhat friendlier.

New Drink

A woman and her boyfriend are out having a few drinks. While they're sitting there having a good time together, she starts talking about this really neat new drink. The more she talks about it, the more excited she gets, and starts trying to talk her boyfriend into having one.

After a while he gives in and lets her order the drink for him.

The bartender brings the drink and puts the following items on the bar:

A salt shaker, a shot of Baileys, and a shot of lime juice.

The boyfriend looks at the items quizzically and the woman explains. "First you put a bit of the salt on your tongue, next you drink the shot of Baileys and hold it in your mouth, and finally you drink the lime juice."

So, the boyfriend, trying to go along and please her, goes for it.

He puts the salt on his tongue... Salty but OK. He drinks the shot of Baileys... Smooth, rich, cool, very pleasant. He thinks... This is OK. Finally he picks up the lime juice and drinks it...

In one second the sharp lime taste hits... At two seconds the Baileys curdles... At three seconds the salty, curdled taste & mucous-like consistency hits... At four seconds it feels as if he has a mouth full of nasty snot. This triggers his gag reflex, but being manly, and not wanting to disappoint his girlfriend, he swallows the now foul tasting drink.

W hen he finally chokes it down he turns to his girlfriend, and says,
"Jesus, what do you call that drink?"

She smiles widely at him and says, "Blow Job Revenge."

Still Snowing

I drove by this this morning... when it stopped for 15 seconds.

Oh Goodie... It's Snowing...

Book 12 of 52 -- The Stolen Child by Keith Donohue

Recommended by SZG, I picked up The Stolen Child without an inkling of what it was/is about.

It's an easy and engaging read; a perfect airplane book, really.

The language is spare but powerful and the images vivid and memorable.

The Stolen Child is about a group of changelings that live in the woods, occasionally kidnapping a human child so that one of their own can assume the child's identity.

Such things have existed since time immemorial, we learn; but as the book progresses through the 20th century, the world changes out from under them.

In a parallel plot, we follow the life of a changeling in the human world, living the life of the child he replaced -- a child who is now one of the changelings in the forest.

It's the kind of book I really would have loved as a younger man.

It grapples with issues of identity and memory, belonging and isolation.

It also appeals to the impostor complex, the inferiority complex, the outsider that lurks in all of our psyches during adolescence and beyond.

It bothers me a little that I feel I'm past all that.

Am I a grown-up now?

When did that happen, exactly?

Good book....

Survivor Fans Vs Favorites -- Week Three This Week

Sooo... there I was... all alone on Valentine's Day as Tangentwoman went to the REAL city to see an Alanis Morrissetteeetteeeesssrrriiiss and Matchbox 20 show with some of her lady friends and I was home 90 minutes earlier than I thought I would be from performing my civic duty on a town government board.

I got home and checked out my DVR listing which had an episode of Lost that I wanted to see and I was pissed to see that Survivor wasn't on the list!

Our DVR blew Friday night's viewing for us as we planned on a night of pizza, couch and television after a particularly long ass week.

Ok... we watched it online the next day and it was a blessing... God... I love the internet.

I have begun to develop some early impressions of the players...

Fans
Kathy aka Big Bird is kooky but not crazy so far. The editting has been a bit rough on her.

Mikey B was fun to watch and an obvious fan of the show with his over thinking his strategy. I was digging him until his obnoxious comments during the voring out process. It was a switch... flipped... just like that.

Joel is a huge meathead... or is he? For a big strong strapping guy that you expect stupid stuff to come out of his mouth... Nope... he's pretty smart and by the end of the episode... it became easier to like him.

Mary, Tracy, Natalie, and Alexis are all there for their sex appeal and yeup... they exude that in buckets...

Chet -- Poooooor Chet.

I have yet to develop a strong opinion on Erik and Jason... as they seem pretty cookie cutter right now.... so I will reserve judgment for another day.

Favorites

On the favorites side, it's really good to have Cirie back. I totally forgot how much I missed her... Jonathan too.

Ozzy and Amanda are making out a lot... blech. Ozzy is cool and as still a major threat as anyone in challenges... and Amanda is now being blurred out up top instead of down below.

The rest of the "Favorites" were barely on this week since the Fans were obviously going to be booting someone so they got most of the camera time.

Hrm... I have no clue who is getting booted this week, but I am going to go with Yao-Man or Kathy depending on which tribe loses the immunity.

Be good kiddies.....be good.

Tucker's Nuts
1. Natalie Bolton (1)
2. Alexis Jones (4)
3. Amanda Kimmel (5)
4. Cirie Fields (8)
5. Ozzy Lusth (9)
6. Parvati Shallow (12)
7. James Clement (13)
8. Eliza Orlins (16)
9. Kathy Sleckman (17)
10. Tracy Hughes-Wolf (20)

ASSSHHHHFAULT
1. Ami Cusack (2)
2. Michael Bortone (3)
3. Joel Anderson(6)
4. Chet Welch (7)
5. Yao-Man Chan (10)
6. Jonathan Penner (11)
7. Erik Reichenbach (14)
8. Jason Siska (15)
9. Mary Sartain (18) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!
10. Jonny Fairplay (19) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!

There Will Be Blood Moviegoing Experience

Commercials

Oh god...On the Border enchiladas look good.
Martin Scorsesee is in one of those annoyingly good Cingular "We don't interupt your phone calls commercials."
Can William Shatner get more annoying? (Priceline)

Movie Previews

In Bruges
Funny Games (Looks awesome and black)
Leatherheads
Shine A Light
The Duchess (Wow! Kiera KNightly in a period piece! Awesome!!!!)
Defiance

Three Word Movie Reviews

10 MPH -- Goofy But Dumb

Across the Universe -- Visually Stunning Awesomeness

Bernard and Doris -- Quality High Society

Big Trouble in Little China -- Top Five Film!

Blonde Ambition -- 2007's WORST Movie

Blonde and Blonder -- Smiled Coupla Times

Born Rich -- Introspective Weak Film

Can Mr. Smith Get to Washington Anymore? -- Enjoyable Insightful Doc

Elizabeth: The Golden Age -- Satisfactory Period Piece

Feast of Love -- Passed the Time

Golden Door (Nuovomondo) -- Visually Stunning... Deep

Gone Baby Gone -- Gritty Interesting Drama

Introducing The Dwights -- Super Quirky Good

Ira & Abby -- Mediocre at Best

No End In Sight -- Standard Iraq Documentary (I am going to get shit for this, but can someone please say something new about what is going on over there? Thank you.)

Reefer Madness: The Musical -- That's Funny... Good.

Rocket Science -- Charming, Quirky Insightful

Scream -- Still Awesome...Fun!

Seed of Chucky -- This Stuff Rules

Shortbus -- Stupid Glorified Porn

Small Town Gay Bar -- Prejudiced People Suck

Trade -- Strong Powerful Film

Waxwork -- As I Remembered

Waxwork II -- Better Than Original

Rock of Love 2 -- I Am Super In Love

Sooo... I have been remiss about blogging about Rock of Love 2 even though I love this show... as much as the first season. The chicks are all "types" of chicks and some are hot and some... are... not...

This is an awesome episode because they have jumped into the challenge right away... MUD BOWL 2!!!! The chicks are divided into two teams and put into skimpy outfits and play football in the mud.

Was it awesome? Yes... There wwas fake snow... rain... and wind. God bless America.

Soo... for the chicks... here are some of my thoughts.

Inna -- She's a big brute and this isn't even in the context of the football game. She kills me... and scares me...



Megan -- She's a cutie, but she is so incredibly stupid that it drives me even crazier than anything.



Catherine -- She's the old lady of the bunch and reminds me of "that woman" at rock concerts who continues to dress and wear the make up the same way 20+ years later.



Ambre (Corrected because Shari is a nudge -- She reminds me of the bitter 35 year old cute girl who never met the right guy and has all these thoughts about how shitty men are. She grows on me every week... and isn't that horrible as of now.



Destiney -- Just a dopey little dopey pants.



Peyton -- She was my first favorite in terms of the show and the chick that seemed the best for Bret right away. She seems down to earth enough and rock chick enough to be good for him.



Kristy Joe -- She seems to be a sweetheart, but I think that she might be insane. She is also a classicly attractive woman, but I learned that she might not have real eyebrows... that was disappointing to me.



Jessica -- This is episode 4 or 5 and yet... I really have no frigging idea who the hell she is.




Last and NOT least... Daisy... Daisy is an itty bitty girl with a million tattoos. She's a dirty chick and yet... she is my ultimate favorite of both seasons... why? I am really not sure.



Sooo... who gets booted this week?

Not Amber... Not Destiney... Not Kristy Joe... Not Megan... Not Inna... Not Jessica (Who?)... Not Catherine... Not Peyton... It's Daisy...

Shows you what the hell I frigging know... I am shocked by this... But WAIT!!!! He isn't booting anyone... Daisy is allowed to stay and he is keeping everyone...

If he got anything out of that... he saw that Daisy really did freak out in a non-crazy way that should have shown him that she likes him big time.

Shit... I am thinking about this way too much...

Happy President's (Presidents'?) Day!

Just think... we get a new one soon.

I can't wait.

Zoey Vs. The Mirror

Even for those of you that are dog haters... you have to admit that this is seriously adorable.

YOU KNOW YOU ARE LIVING IN 2008 when...

1. You accidentally enter your PIN on the microwave.
2. You haven't played solitaire with real cards in years.
3. You have a list of 15 phone numbers to reach your family of three.
4. You e-mail the person who works at the desk next to you.
5. Your reason for not staying in touch with friends and family is that they don't have e-mail addresses.
6. You pull up in your own driveway and use your cell phone to see if anyone is home to help you carry in the groceries.
7. Every commercial on television has a web site at the bottom of the screen
8. Leaving the house without your cell phone, which you didn't even have the first 20 or 30 (or 60) years of your life, is now a cause for panic and you turn around to go and get it.
10. You get up in the morning and go on line before getting your coffee.
11. You start tilting your head sideways to smile. : )
12. You're reading this and nodding and laughing.
13. Even worse, you know exactly to whom you are going to forward this message.
14. You are too busy to notice there was no #9 on this list.
15. You actually scrolled back up to check that there wasn't a #9 on this list

Ever....

.... blow your nose so hard that you fart?

I just did.

Book 11 of 52 -- Michael Connelly's The Narrows

Yeuppers... I read a lot on my trip and I pumped through this one on my 4.5 hour flight home. The trip itself was about 6.5 hours long and it made for easy reading.

Here's a quick funny thing -- my flight attendant was reading the same book so I had to talk to her about it... that was both good and horrible. Boring conversation but extra cans of Diet Coke!

Harry Bosch is a likeable guy -- tough without being perfect, able to table his own emotions while getting a job done and he's seen it all and still retains his humanity and integrity, although happiness has always eluded him.

And most of the time, he has the courage to be genuine.

As you know, even with books in series, I like to approach each one individually and judge it on its own merits and The Narrows is strong enough to stand on its own.

One of the factors that makes it an intriguing cop story is that Harry can sometimes - not always - figure out how killers think.

Logic, intuition, and experience combine in his mind to allow him to think outside the box.

Connelly is adept at leading his readers step by step through the fascinating ins and outs of attacking a crime, narrowing down the possibilities, and discovering the whos, whats, and whys of Harry's cases.

The balance between action and intellect is always satisfying, and makes The Narrows a gritty, enthralling winner.

Losing Respect For People -- Happy Valentine's Day

I work in an industry where appearance is important.

I was recently at a meeting and I looked around the table and thought about the things that make me lose respect for people pretty quickly.

Hair Pieces -- I can understand why some people might resort to wearing fake hair on their head from a strictly vain perspective, but it never looks right. Seriously... it never looks right. Think about it for a second... have you EVER heard someone say... "Wow! Joe is wearing a hair piece. He looks great!" No... what you normally hear is... "Oh god... Joe is wearing a hair piece... how dopey."

Please people, don't get yourself a hair piece. You just look silly and no one thinks it looks great.

Longer Thin Part of Tie -- One of biggest pet peeves is the way that some people tie their ties. I am not talking about the types of knots as some people look better and can tie knots better than others. I really dislike and lose respect for people when the thinner part of the tie is longer than the front part of the tie.

It's just plain wrong and easy to fix. C'mon guys... fix it... You just look stupid.

Mispelling of Easy Words -- Can you really take someone seriously when they spell easy words wrong on big important documents such as a resume? I was recently going through the process of hiring someone and I got a lot of resumes. You wouldn't believe how many people had mispelled words on them. Simple ones too like Experience and my personal favorite... Education. I am not kidding when I say that one person actually had Edumacation on her resume.

Screw the Ice Storm

It's Pitchers and Catchers time!

It must be SPRING!!!!

Book 10 of 52 -- Michael Connelly's Lost Light

Harry Bosch has begun his retirement and he doesn't like it.

After a career in law enforcement, and devoting his life to protecting, and avenging those wronged by the law, Bosch finds it difficult to sit home and do nothing, especially since he is haunted by the unsolved murder of a young girl.

Bosch begins his private investigation, only to find another unsolved crime...one that is linked to the murder of the young woman.

Unable to rest until the killer is caught, Bosch will work outside of the law, but every step he gets closer to the truth brings him closer to a madman who'll stop at nothing to keep that truth from being found out.

`Lost Light' is another great entry in the Harry Bosch series.

The story unfolds at a breakneck pace, and every turn of the page introduces a new plot twist.

Harry Bosch is one of the best characters in detective fiction, and with each new outing we see him grow wiser and more mature taking the series to a whole new level.

Michael Connelly continues to dazzle readers with his original, fast-paced and complex novels.

Each new novel surpasses that of the previous, proving Michael Connelly to be a master of his craft.

Book 9 of 52 -- Michael Connelly's Chasing the Dime

Pissed off yet Steakbellie... this is yet another book I read on my two weeks away.

Henry Pierce is a hotshot scientist, focusing on the microscopic world of molecular electronics with the goal to create a supercomputer the size of a dime (hence the book's title) - and he's about to make a huge breakthrough that will advance the state of the art a long way towards that end.

Pierce gets dragged into some seriously crazy stuff.. involving prostitutes, porn, murder, blood... etc... etc... etc...

His life begins to unravel.

"Chasing the Dime" is something of a departure for Connelly, taking the reader not just away from the ongoing life of detective Harry Bosch, but also away from the gritty, noir world that most of his work inhabits.

The emphasis in this book is less on the physical and more on the mental.

Pierce is a brilliant man and he brings his considerable analytical skills as a scientist to bear in figuring out what is happening.

Although "Chasing" may not have the sheer intensity or moral poignancy of the best of Connelly's mysteries, it is still the kind of thriller that keeps your interest piqued, keeps the pages turning, and pays off with a satisfying conclusion.

Late to The Game

I have watched this about 10 times and I love it every single time.

It's the infamous Sarah Silverman "I F&cked Matt Damon" video that she made for Jimmy Kimmel.

Hilarious...

Book 8 of 52 -- Michael Connelly's City of Bones

Mr. Connelly's Harry Bosch continues to be one of the most intriguing characters in crime fiction.

This story revolves around a set of newly discovered bones on a hill side in Laurel Canyon.

The bones are 20 years old and Harry sets about unravelling the mystery.

What sets Bosch apart is his depth and flaws.

Mr. Connelly's scores big in several ways.

First, is the depth he adds for all his characters.

Secondly, his crisp writing moves the plot along at a good pace.

Lastly, the touches of the police procedural are like no other writer that I have encountered in crime fiction.

His writing is addictively good.

VERY INTERESTING STUFF

In the 1400's a law was set forth in England that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb. Hence we have "the rule of thumb"
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Many years ago in Scotland , a new game was invented. It was ruled "Gentlemen Only...Ladies Forbidden"...and thus the word GOLF entered into the English language.
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The first couple to be shown in bed together on prime time TV were Fred and Wilma Flintstone.
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Every day more money is printed for Monopoly than the U.S. Treasury.
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Men can read smaller print than women can; women can hear better.
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Coca-Cola was originally green.
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It is impossible to lick your elbow.
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The State with the highest percentage of people who walk to work:
Alaska
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The percentage of Africa that is wilderness: 28% (now get this...)
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The percentage of North America that is wilderness: 38%
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The cost of raising a medium-size dog to the age of eleven: $ 16,400
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The average number of people airborne over the U.S. in any given hour:
61,000
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Intelligent people have more zinc and copper in their hair.
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The first novel ever written on a typewriter: Tom Sawyer.
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The San Francisco Cable cars are the only mobile National Monuments.
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Each king in a deck of playing cards represents a great king from history:
Spades - King David, Hearts - Charlemagne, Clubs -Alexander the Great, Diamonds - Julius Caesar
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111,111,111 x 111,111,111 = 12,345,678,987,654,321
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If a statue in the park of a person on a horse has both front legs in the air, the person died in battle. If the horse has one front leg in the air the person died as a result of wounds received in battle. If the horse has all four legs on the ground, the person died of natural causes.
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Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn't added until 5 years later.
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Q. Half of all Americans live within 50 miles of what?
A. Their birthplace
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Q. Most boat owners name their boats. What is the most popular boat name requested?
A. Obsession
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Q. If you were to spell out numbers, how far would you have to go until you would find the letter "A"?
A. One thousand
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Q. What do bulletproof vests, fire escapes, windshield wipers, and laser printers all have in common?
A. All were invented by women.
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Q. What is the only food that doesn't spoil?
A. Honey
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Q. Which day are there more collect calls than any other day of the year?
A. Father's Day
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In Shakespeare's time, mattresses were secured on bed frames by ropes.
When you pulled on the ropes the mattress tightened, making the bed firmer to sleep on. Hence the phrase......... "goodnight, sleep tight."
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It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink. Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
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In English pubs, ale is ordered by pints and quarts... So in old England , when customers got unruly, the bartender would yell at them "Mind your pints and quarts, and settle down."
It's where we get the phrase "mind your P's and Q's"
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Many years ago in England , pub frequenters had a whistle baked into the rim, or handle, of their ceramic cups. When they needed a refill, they used the whistle to get some service. "Wet your whistle" is the phrase inspired by this practice.
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At least 75% of people who read this will try to lick their elbow!
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Don't delete this just because it looks weird. Believe it or not, you can read it.

I cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor of the hmuan mnid Aoccdrnig to rscheearch at Cmabrigde Uinervtisy, it deosn't mttaer in waht oredr the ltteers in a wrod are, the olny iprmoatnt tihng is taht the frist and lsat ltteer be in the rghit pclae. The rset can be a taotl mses and you can sitll raed it wouthit a porbelm. Tihs is bcuseae the huamn mnid deos not raed ervey lteter by istlef, but the wrod as a wlohe. Amzanig huh?

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Fun Tucker Picture

Weekend At Tuckers

He was SSSSOOOOOOO asleep that I thought he might be dead.

What do I do?

I took a video of him.

Cute litte Tucker

Life in a Beer Commercial

I have been meaning to write about this for a couple months now.

I was on a work trip in Miami watching the Rutgers/Louisville game in a bar with some of my colleagues from across the country.

Rutgers blew the huge lead they had and lost the game.

I was pretty sad.

The guys I was with were rooting for Rutgers too even though they were from West Virginia.

During the game, we saw a goofy beer commercial where there were a bunch of guys who were surrounded by hot babes and beer... We joked that that would be fun to be a part of.

15 minutes later, we were.

The bar livened up a great deal when a whole bunch of women in bikinis piled into the place playing the drums and instruments.

They started handing out free Heineken bottles and encouraging everyone to dance.

Since there were only about 25 of us in the bar, we all got a lot of attention and felt like we were in that beer commercial we saw a couple hours before.

It was a funny and memorable experience...

Survivor Micronesia -- Debuts Tonight

And so... Survivor 16 Micronesia: Fans Vs. Favorites starts tonight. 10 All Stars and 10 Superfans will be participating in this season.

Expect great and terrible television this season kids. It's going to be a bumpy and dopey ride.

FBT was tired of taking it up the Survivor butthole for the past two seasons so he took a pass on the game this time around -- Little Baby Poopy Pants is his new name.

Asssshfault!!! is back and we have a much more fun bet this time around -- dinner in Atlantic City!

For my pick tonight I hear you asking?... No one likes Johnny Fairplay. I almost guarantee his departure...

Here's the new picks... and... remember... the parenthesis indicate when they were picked in the draft.

Tucker's Nuts
1. Natalie Bolton (1)
2. Alexis Jones (4)
3. Amanda Kimmel (5)
4. Cirie Fields (8)
5. Ozzy Lusth (9)
6. Parvati Shallow (12)
7. James Clement (13)
8. Eliza Orlins (16)
9. Kathy Sleckman (17)
10. Tracy Hughes-Wolf (20)

ASSSHHHHFAULT
1. Ami Cusack (2)
2. Michael Bortone (3)
3. Joel Anderson(6)
4. Chet Welch (7)
5. Yao-Man Chan (10)
6. Jonathan Penner (11)
7. Erik Reichenbach (14)
8. Jason Siska (15)
9. Mary Sartain (18)
10. Jonny Fairplay (19)

Go to School With Me -- I'll Make You Famous

Not too long ago, Tangentwoman and I were out to dinner with some friends of ours.

Our friends live in the town that I grew up in so it's always funny to go back to the places I saw all the time as a child... but as an adult.

While we were at dinner, a guy I knew from high school recognized me and came up to me to see what I was doing. He and I were in a bunch of plays together in high school and he was a pretty talented guy.

He gave me a quick update about his life too which included being back in New Jersey to visit his family while he was finishing up filming a pair of major motion picture studio films.

His name is Tom Malloy and he wasn't lying as he is making The Alphabet Killer and LoveN'Dancing. His career is taking a fun turn to the successful I hope.




I started thinking about other people that I went to high school with that also became pretty famous.

Ethan Hawke -- Ethan didn't go to the same school as me, but he was a good friend of one of my friends. We played kick ball together a couple of times when we were really young and he was a pretty big jerk then, but he has done pretty wel by himself.



Vera Farmiga -- Yeup... you don't know her by name, but you sure as hell know who she is. She was the lead woman and psychiatrist in The Departed. She was also in the remake of the Manchurian Candidate and played the Senator's daughter. She is making movies like crazy and is becoming pretty mainstream.



I wasn't really friends with her at all in high school, but she was in a couple of classes with me. She was also a quiet person and seemed very sweet. I am so happy to see her succeeding in life.

and so begins Lent...

and so begins Lent...

no soda, chocolate or booze...

Just crankiness....

Super Tuesday Upset!!!

Rutgers beat number one ranked and the last undefeated team in the nation UCONN last night.

What a game!!!!

Book 7 of 52 -- Michael Connelly's Blood Work

Blood Work is the story of retired FBI agent Terry McCaleb, who suffered a heart attack at a young age as a result of having cardiomyopathy – a form of heart disease.

His heart weakened progressively until a matching donor was found and McCaleb received a successful heart transplant.

The book picks up the story about 8 weeks after the operation, where McCaleb is living on his boat ‘The Following Sea’ in Cabrillo Marina, Los Angeles.

At the start of the novel, a young woman called Graciela Rivers turns up at McCaleb’s boat with a photograph and informs him that her sister Gloria – the woman in the photograph – is the person whose heart is now beating in McCaleb’s chest.

McCaleb now needs to find the woman's killer.

I know I’ve ranted before about books that pull the carpet out from under you, but this book is on an altogether higher plane.

The identity of the killer(s) and the reason for their killing(s) was huge.

Personally, I was snookered and this has to be one of the cleverest books I have read.

I guess there was a reason why they made a movie starring Clint Eastwood about it.

Only Good Thing About Giants Win

Rutgers University is very proud of Shaun O'Hara LC'99, the fifth Scarlet Knight to earn a Super Bowl ring. Shaun is an alumnus of whom we can truly be proud, both on and off the playing field. Rutgers is thrilled to call him one of our own!

New York Giants fans everywhere are celebrating the biggest upset in Super Bowl history, the 17-14 victory over the previously unbeaten New England Patriots. Virtually everyone's underdogs shocked the sporting world because they believed in themselves when very few wanted to give them a chance.

No one epitomizes the Giants and the road they traveled in the 2007 season more than Shaun, their outstanding starting center. With hard work and determination, Shaun went from being a walk-on prospect at Rutgers to become an All-BIG EAST Conference lineman and captain of the Scarlet Knights football team. He then earned a place in the NFL as an undrafted free agent, and today is celebrating as a team captain and leader of the offensive line for the Super Bowl champion Giants.

Three Word Movie Reviews

2 Days in Paris -- I Survived It

2 Days in April -- For Football Fans

Blood Work -- Somewhat Decent Adaptation

Daddy Day Camp -- Just Awful Shit

Death Sentence -- Actually... Pretty Intense

Freaks & Geeks -- Wow... That's Great.

Freddy's Dead: The Final Nightmare -- Really... Not Over?

The Game Plan -- Cliche but Fun

Good Luck Chuck -- Worst of Year

Gray Matters -- Silly Chick Comedy

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix -- I Love Harry

Helvetica -- Heh..Well "Written"

The Hunting Party -- Passed the Time

The Invasion -- Passable Snatchers Remake-ish

The Jane Austin Book Club -- Typical Chick Flick

King of California -- Goofy Delightful Douglas

King of Kong -- Most Awesomest Film

The Lookout -- Surprising Good Movie

Maxed Out -- Learned Lots... Quality

Mr. Woodcock -- Completely Mediocre Film

Nightmare on Elm Street 4 -- Passable Freddy Sequel

Nightmare on Elm Street 5 -- Just Getting Sillier

The Nines -- Not Nine.... Seven

Smiley Face -- Oooooof. Just Bad.

Suburban Girl -- Trivial Poopy Stuff

Sydney White -- OOOf... Mindlessly Fun

Wedding Daze -- Hrm... Mediocre Drivel

Wes Craven's New Nightmare -- Neat Twist Fun

Really Lazy (?) Super Bowl Blog... LIVE!

Before this starts... I am having trouble deciding who to root for tonight. For those who know me, I hate both teams immensely... the Giants more though. However, I have a lot of friends that are Giants fans and I don't want them to be upset, but I really hate them... so I will take a pass there. The Patriots and the stupid tuck rule kept the Raiders out of the Super Bowl a few years ago so they annoy me as well and they are just so smug.

Side note -- I am an extremely competitive guy, but I NEVER make fun of anyone who's team loses in big games like this. Go ahead guys... for those of you that think I am wrong...think about it... I have never made fun of you because your team lost. Never... sooo.. may the best team win today...

Whatever... I can't decide right now so I am just going to have to continue dating your daughter (Nice reference Smelmoooo!)

Jordan Sparks lip-synched the National Anthem.... and she cried while doing it. Oof.

The roof is closed in Phoenix because it is FRIGGING cold there as it was all week when I was there. I wish I had packed better.

It is time for the coin toss. For the past 12 years or so, I have never gotten one wrong and my buddy Mike always had to pay me $5 -- this is one of the first years that we aren't doing that bet. I bet a nickel with Tangentwoman that it would be heads. I lost... this is a bad sign for me...

I would love for it to be Giants 5 and Patriots 8 OR Giants 9 and Patriots 0 at any particular point in the game when it says 0:00. Thank you.

God... I love football.. thankfully the writer's strike doesn't get in the way of this... the second greatest night of the year.

The game is underway!!!!!! Two running plays in a row for Brandon Jacobs... are they scared of Eli's arm?

The first commercial.... Bud Light... I think I will start a list of good, great, eh, and bad commercials. They will be below.

There are two minutes left in the first quarter and it has been an extremely underwhelming game so far -- Giants winning 3-0. That's the halftime score as well

Bill Belichek is wearing his dress up sweatshirt... what a dirt bag.

Is it gay to say that I might actually love this referee? Mike Cherry is so crisp with his hand signals and makes me happy when I see him. He always seems to have control of the crew and works hard. but I digress.

Soooo... Eli throws his first INT and I have to admit... that wasn't Eli's fault -- it was all Steve Smith's fault.

Middle of the 2nd -- Giants just sacked the Pats twice... wow... nice work.

Halftime.... I SWORE THAT THIS WOULD BE A SURE FIRE OVER BET IN THE OVER/UNDER 54 1/2 but... it is only 7-3. Ick.

We totally decided not to watch the halftime show and watched an episode of How I Met Your Mother instead.

I have been really good so far and waited this long to say this... but dammit... I hate Joe Buck.

Is the game still on? Oh yeah... 2:20 left in the 3rd quarter... ho hum... why am I so bored? Are both defenses just that good right now or are both offenses just that bad?

Still 7-3 after three quarters? Ick.

It only took three plus hours for them to make a Frank Caliendo reference/sighting. I almost made it... He really is everywhere.

I ate too much. This is when I admire Mr. Steakbellie. I ate a bunch of chicken strips.... oooh... tooo many.

Giants take the lead on an excellent drive by Eli... THat's right FBT... I said that Eli did a great job. Shoot me.

I still hate Joe Buck... and Aikman is still the same bumbling bobo brain as I am used too every stupid week...

Two minute warning... Giants down by four... driving to win...

At the one minute mark, Eli avoids a tackle like the most agile awesome player ever and throws this amazing ball that David Tyree catches in the second most amazing movement of the game. WOW... that was amazing. If the Giants win this, THAT was the key play.

This last two minutes has taken like 25 minutes in real time. Steve Smith has played like 7 games as a rookie and made an incredibly aware and professional catch.

Touchdown Giants -- Burress catches a wide open ball. Almost as wide open as Moss was on the other end for the last NE TD.

35 seconds left in the game, and the Patriots gotta go 74/75 yards. First play... incomplete, second play... sack, third down... incomplete, and fourth down... incomplete.

Giants win! Holy crap! That was a crap game for 45 minutes and the last quarter was awesome. At least I stuck with it and got a good end of game out of the deal.

Congrats friends of mine... that was a pretty impressive win.... they deserved the win and dominated that game. So answer me this... will Coughlin be back next year?

Great Commercials
Tide to Go Stain on Shirt Commercial
Budweiser Thunder & Rocky commercial -- certainly shows the power of music.
Coke Macy's Day Paragde Balloons -- Very Clever

Good Commercials
Bud Light fire breathing commercial
Diet Pepsi Max commercial with the Chris Kattan ending
Bud Light Wine and Cheese Party
Victoria's Secret commercial -- They are always good.
Amp Nipple Jump Starter commercial
Bridgestone screaming animals commercial
Fedex Carrier Pigeons
Toyota Corrola Ferret commercial
Careerbuilder Follow Your Heart Commercial
Bud Light Caveman commercial -- predictable but amusing
Life Water Dancing Lizards
Cars.com Witch Doctor
2nd eTrade Baby commercial with clown
Dog drinking Gatorade
Bud Light Will Ferrel
Justin Timberlake Pepsi commercial... not original though.
DOritos mouse trap commercial -- that got funny when the mouse costumed person beat up the person.
Alice Cooper Richard Simmons Bridgestone
Bud Light Ability to Fly
American Airlines Teambuilding Commercial... that's funny
Coke Political Jinx game
Ben Rothlisberger American Idol commercial

Eh Commercials
Audi Godfather commercial
Dorito's music video
ETrade baby commercial... saved by the baby puking.
Dunkin DOnuts music commercial...
Wanted movie
Derek Jeter Ford Edge ... I love Jeter, but can he be more boring?
Chester Pitts NFL commercial
Toyota Mongoose Big Wheel commercial
G2 Jeter/Manning
Go Daddy.com Danica Patrick commercial... served its purpose
Cars.com fighting commercial
Garmin Napoleon commercial
Carlos Mencia Bud Light Commercial
Planters Cashews commercial
Dwayne Wade/Charles Barkley commercial...
Shaq as a Jockey (Vitamin Water) -- The NFL sucks... stop paying them.
Carmen Elektra Ice Breakers Gum
Careerbuilder.com spider commercial

Bad Commercials
Dell (Red) commercial
Under Armour -- Blech... stupid
Prudential retirement plan commercial "Find Your Path"
Yukon Hybrid Commercial
Hyundai Genesis Car Commercial
2nd Sales Genie.com commercial (Ling Ling)
Sunsilk Women Hair Commercial
Taco Bell office mariachi commercial
Hyundai Genesis second commercial -- Just as bad. Don't admit it's bad.... argh people
Sales Genie.com commercial

More reasons why dogs bite people . . . Thanks Lori

I am pretty sure that I like the lion one the best.