Up Moviegoing Experience

When we bought our tickets, the cashier asked us "Do you mind that it isn't in 3D?"

I said "No. How many theaters do you have here that show in 3D?"

"None."

Me later - "uh...why did she ask that if they don't even offer it?"

Since we were seeing a kid's movine, they played Regal First Look Play! which is designed for kids.

Previews
Shorts
G-Force
Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs
Ice Age Dawn of the Dinosaurs
The Princess and the Frog

Up was an incredibly well made movie, but it really taped into your emotions. Plenty of people were crying like crazy and it was effective.

I might recommend it more than TW would since I think she might have felt it was more manipulative than heart warming.

Book 32 of 52 -- Martin Clark's The Legal Limit

The Legal Limit is "thrilling" in that it has a plot that's good from page one and it's "legal" because, for sure, there's a lot that happens that concerns the law, but it's a much bigger, deeper (and sometimes funnier)book than the traditional legal thriller.

It seems as if the author has tried to polish every single word and every paragraph; the novel seems handmade and painstakingly crafted as compared to something which is mass produced.

The characters, from the brothers Mason and Gates to the very engaging Custis Norman, seem real and well thought out.

Best of all for me was the story of Mason's love affair with his wife and his struggles--Mr. Clark nails this--to raise an adolescent daughter.

I'd call it a legal thriller PLUS.

Getting Excited for Rutgers Football...

Happy Memorial Day

Try to remember that this day is about more than just hot dogs and burgers.

My First Dancing With the Stars Post

I went through my old blog posts the other day.

I found the first blog that I wrote about Dancing With the Stars.

It can be found here:

Clicky click here...

Man.. I thought I wrote a lot then!

Dancing With The Stars -- Winner REVEALED!!!!

Ok... before the evening even starts, I wanted to share with you what I thought would be the order of finish that would make me most happy.

I would love to see Shawn Johnson come in first, with Gilles Marini come in second, with that Melissa Rycroft in third... I truly don't care who wins as long as Melissa doesn't win.

Enough with the dilly dallying since there will be plenty of dilly dallying as they look to fill in three hours with professional dancers, performances and two things I am looking forward to - Jeffrey Ross roasting the remaining participants and a new dance for each dancer that counts!

We are.... LLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Before they bring anyone out... the get right into it with Lady Gaga who is wearing an interesting and rather tame outfit for her. I have to admit that I am intrigued by her... but not enough to not fast forward... vroom vroom...

RECAP!!!!!!!!!!! followed up by some comments from the judges... including the brilliant comment that they all think this is the best season ever and will come down to the viewers... uh... no shit Sherlock.

RECAP #2! It's the first three weeks... *yawn*... followed by a return of Belinda Carlisle and Jonathan Roberts reminding us why they were booted first... then Denise Richards with Maksim Chmirnov are back too... dead eyes and all! This is topped off with Holly Madison and Demetri Chaplin making us all upset that the hot chick went early. They are also all interviewed by Samantha...

It is revealed that Samantha Harris will be performing on BROADWAY! As Roxy Hart in Chicago!.... The Tucker household is silent...

After a brief recap (#3)... it's time to see Steve Wozniak and Karina Smirnov dance the Quickstep... making us all cringe, but smile at his happiness to be out there again.

RECAP #4 It's weeks 5-6. David Allan Grier and Kym Johnson do their live dance... followed up by Steve-O and Lacey Schwimmer do their live dance... and it's capped with an interview...

Wooo Hooooo.... former dancers are talking about who should win and there is so much rhetoric and shenanigans involved that I am not sure what to do. Why do I really need to see so much Vivica A. Fox? Really... she turned a once promising acting career into hosting "The Cougar" on TV Land... really?

Recap #5! It's time to remind us how America got from the beginning ot the end for the professional dancers... and the winner was... the hot blonde Russion chick... I should probably learn her name... but ... alas...

Lawrence Taylor and Edyta Sliwinska is back for his live dance. I hate the Giants. He gets his own interview... and reminds me why I disliked him so much.

Recap #6! We get some more highlights of the season... followed by the return of Julianne Hough and Chuck Wicks on the dance floor and an interview! Who knew?!?!?!?

Here is one of the highlights I am looking forward to. Jeffrey Roast is here to roast the contestants. IT WAS HYSTERICAL. Best groan of the night? "This is actually Dancing With Who?"

Oh my... oh my!!! Recap #7!!! It's the final weeks and the booting of Lil Kim and Ty Murray...

Lil Kim and Derek Hough dance and America waits for her to just start shooting.... Nope... phew. Get the hell off my tv... Loser.

Ty Murray and Chelsie Hightower dance right after with their final dance as well.

Video Montage!!! The finalist all talk about each other and how wonderful they all are. Kinda boring, but the producers finally have figured out how to make her look gorgeous.

After 75 minutes of junk and blah.. it's finally time... Third dance of the week... These scores will be counted with their original scores.

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas dance in the first position. It's a recap of her entire season. We get to see the ups and downs of her year. Her last dance of the season will be the Cha Cha Cha. She proves why she is a finalist with a great dance. And Harold Wheeler proves why I hate him and his band by destroying PYT. Len loved it... Bruno thought it was perfect and Carrie Ann thinks she deserves to be exactly where she is. The scores are 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30 + 58 = 88.

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani are up second. It's a nice recap of Melissa... and most importantly... it's a recap of all of her Tramp Stamp camoflagues... They are dancing the Samba. It was nice, but as my wife said, she peaked earlier in the season. All the judges loved them. Just a reminder that last night they scored a 56. The scores are 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30 + 56 = 86.

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke are up third. He ot the most perfect scores this season... so yeah... good for him. His dance (Argentine Tango) is perfect again... and better get a good score... The judges agreed. Last night they scored a 58. The scores are 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30 + 58 = 88.

Lady Gaga... blech.

Time to reveal who is finishing in the THIRD PLACE spot.
3. Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani



This is the closest season ever. There was less than 1% difference between first and second.

Second
2. Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke



And... the Winner!!!!

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas



That made me smile and happy... See you next season.

Dancing With the Stars FINALS!!!!!!!!!!

Wow... I can't believe that the season is already over. I really can't. This has been over 2 1/2 months of dancing and I already feel accomplished and happy simply because Lil Kim didn't make it to the finals... let alone the semi-finals.

It's only an hour tonight and each of the final three will be dancing at least two dances tonight.

P.S. The Yankees jumped out to a 6-2 lead in the first inning and I was all over the place excited...

So... it's time... It's time... to be ... LIIIIIVEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow... the outfits the stars all walked out in are insanely weird... as they are all going to dance the Paso Doble! Shawn's outfit is atrocious... and Melissa looks fantastic.

PASO DOBLE ROUND

The first video montage of the night is about having all the judges visiting the stars to teach them the Paso Doble. It was both informative and boring at the same time.

All three couples are dancing it at the same time and it starts off with a ton of smoke and fire... with Shawn dancing first. (She was happy with that draw since that is where she wants to "finish." Uhhh... ergh.) Melissa is second and we thought the dance was full of mistakes, but I am sure the judges will love it. Gilles comes out last... and dammit. Cheryl can choreograph.

Judges' thoughts? Len thought that Shawn did great, Melissa's was mistake filled, and Gilles' was great. Bruno is amazed that they compete and dance as a team, Melissa looks nice, and Gilles is a leading man. Carrie thinks they are all incredible dancers, Shawn is incredible and yet not as emotional because she is young, Melissa was great, and Gilles was perfect.

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas The scores are 9, 9, 10 for a total of 28.

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani The scores are 10, 9, 10 for a total of 29. Bullshit... Bullshit... Bullshit... Mistakes all over the place and Shawn did better.

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke The scores are 10. 10, 10 for a total of 30.

FREE STYLE ROUND

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas are up to dance their Freestyle. Shawn announces that they don't intend to do any gymnastics. You go girl. Anton Apollo Ohno is here to help cheer her on. They come out in a creepy mask and all black outfit. It makes me slightly nauseated, but they finally rip off the outfit. They get into the meat of the dance and it is full of excitement and flips and turns and I really enjoyed it. Bruno stands up and thinks it was bursting of excitement and creative. "Marvelous" Carrie Ann thought it was perfect and ideal. Len loved it and Mark collapses. The scores are 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30.

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani are up second. The video shows that Tony took a shot to face from Melissa and needs ice. They are going to uhh... try really really really hard! *yawn*. Lots of flips and throws and not much substance though, but she will get good scores. Carrie Ann thinks it was just lift to lift but a decent dance. Len didn't get it and thought it wasn't his cup of tea. Bruno agrees... and all. The scores are 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27.

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke dance last. Gilles feels like an underdog. During rehearsal, Cheryl continues to act like a turd and Gilles' shoulder problems come out. Uh oh! Drama. This should be good... It should be good. I was completely underwhelmed by it... even though it was technically sound. Len thought it was great. Bruno thought it was a good performance, but it didn't have enough dancing in it. Carrie agrees with Bruno. The scores are 9, 10, 9 for a total of 28.

Scores... Just a reminder!

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke 30 + 28 = 58
Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas 28 + 30 = 58
Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani 29 + 27 = 56

Survivor Competitions Update

Survivor 1 in Borneo -- Richard Hatch (No Game)
Survivor 2 in Australia -- Tina Wesson (Ashfault!)
Survivor 3 in Africa -- Ethan Zohn (Ashfault!)
Survivor 4 in Marquesas -- Vecepia Towery (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 5 in Thailand -- Brian Heidik (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 6 in Amazon -- Jenna Morasca (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 7 in Pearl Islands -- Sandra Diaz-Twine (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 8 ALL STARS -- Amber Brkich (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 9 in Vanuatu -- Chris Daugherty (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 10 in Palau -- Tom Westman (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 11 in Guatemala -- Danni Boatwright (Ashfault!)
Survivor 12 in Panama (Exile Island) -- Aras Baskauskas (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 13 in the Cook Islands -- Yul Kwon (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 14 in Fiji -- Earl Cole (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 15 in China -- Todd Herzog (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 16 in Micronesia (All Stars-ish) -- Parvati Shallow (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 17 in Gabon -- Bob Crowley (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 18 in Tocantins -- James Thomas, Jr. (Ashfault!)

Overall Totals

Pork Chop Express -- 13
Assshfault! -- 4

Tucker's Nuts -- 2
FBT -- ZERO

Survivor Tocantins -- Final Results

I took a beating... and had my team all run out so quickly after such a good and quick start.

We split the series this season so our bet will be split nicely.

Woo hooo... and boooooo....

Congrats Ashfault... Congrats...

Tucker’s Nuts
Tamara “Taj” Johnson-George (16) -- FINISHED FOURTH
Benjamin Wade (13) -- Booted Week Twelve
Deborah “Bubbles” Beebe (5) -- Booted Week Eleven
Tyson Apostol (4) -- Booted Week Nine
Brendan Synnott (9) -- Blindsided Week Eight
Joe Dowdle (8) -- Medevac-ed Week Seven
Spencer Duhm (12) -- Wrongfully booted Week Five
Jerry Simms (1) -- Unfortunately... he basically quit in Week Three.

Asshfault!
James Thomas, Jr. (10) -- WINNER
Stephen Fishbach (2) -- FINISHED SECOND
Erinn Lobdell (14) -- FINISHED THIRD
Sierra Reed (6) -- BOOTED WEEK TEN!!!!
Sydney Wheeler (7) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!!
Sandy Burgin (15) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
Candace Smith (11) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!
Carolina Eastwood (3) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!

Star Trek Moviegoing Experience

AMC's First Look

Previews

Night at the Museum 2

Year One

Up

Land of the Lost

GI Joe

Transformers

TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine..
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18 Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
thousand times the memory.
26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Survivor Tocantins Team Rosters

With just the finale to go on Sunday... it ain't looking so good for me...

Tucker’s Nuts
Tamara “Taj” Johnson-George (16)
Benjamin Wade (13) -- Booted Week Twelve
Deborah “Bubbles” Beebe (5) -- Booted Week Eleven
Tyson Apostol (4) -- Booted Week Nine
Brendan Synnott (9) -- Blindsided Week Eight
Joe Dowdle (8) -- Medevac-ed Week Seven
Spencer Duhm (12) -- Wrongfully booted Week Five
Jerry Simms (1) -- Unfortunately... he basically quit in Week Three.

Asshfault!
Stephen Fishbach (2)
James Thomas, Jr. (10)
Erinn Lobdell (14)
Sierra Reed (6) -- BOOTED WEEK TEN!!!!
Sydney Wheeler (7) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!!
Sandy Burgin (15) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
Candace Smith (11) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!
Carolina Eastwood (3) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!

Book 31 of 52 -- Jonathan Kellerman's True Detectives

Kellerman + brother detectives - Alex Delware = not much fun

Could have been much better...

Dancing With the Stars Seminfinal Results

Here we are.... one hour until we find out who was booted. It should be pretty interesting to see how they fill in the blanks and the spaces on this episode.

Tonight... only THREE will survive...

We start with a cold opening and Tom and Samantha immediately introduce some Grammy winner named Raphael Sadiq or something.

RECAP! It's a time to reflect... pause... and... ummm... fast forward.

Time to see our ENCORE DANCE. It will be Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas dancing their Argentine Tango... and it is still pretty dang good.

Helio Castroneves, Brooke Burke, and Dew Lachey are up to review the Final Four. The filler VIDEO MONTAGE is full of Drewches, Vacant Brooke Stares, and Incomprehensible Accented Comments by Helio Castondafadafs...ves....

After a commercial, it's time to reveal what everyone has been waiting for! What two professional dancers survived last week's cut to win a guaranteed spot in Season 9! They will be dancing with pro stars tonight! I can't wait!... Uh... who cares... Fast Forward....

Hey... ! Only four times this season (out of 9) has the lowest score of the judges been voted out. I knew you cared. America is saving people... SAVING PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's time for a Professionals dance... where America ALSO voted for the four professionals (Lacey, Mark, Julianne, and Derek). Shit... America voted a lot this week... That's asking a lot from a country that voted TWICE for George Bush the
Twit.

It's time for the Professionals to perform the LATIN dances... argh... zoom zoom zoom...

Time to save someone (or two)!
1. Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke
2. Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas

The bottom two are... Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani and Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower

Who will be going home?

COMMERCIAL!!!!

Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower

Dancing With the Stars Semifinals

Ok... TWO HOURS? Last week was two hours and they reallllly stretched it. Now... there are two less dances to watch and it will still be two hours? Ooof.

Time to get me excited and it's... the week after they booted the BIONIC BOOTY! And... I am still giddy. :)

Sooo... Let's start killing time with some professional dancers ... and I know that we will be killing time by watching How I Met Your Mother and 24 in the middle... so this won't be too live... for us.

The parade of stars... just four of them and thankfully... none of them are Lil Kim... 9 have been booted and these four are dancing in the semi-finals.

MEMORY LANE.... UGH....

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani are up first and Melissa and Tony are revewing their season and dances from the season. This is ridiculously boring and I want to poke Perez Hilton in the eye. Melissa is too wacky and Tony is too nice. They reviewed their Foxtrot and Samba. They are going to dance a Cha Cha tonight.

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke review their season too. They liked their Fox Trot and their Paso Doble. Tonight... they will be dancing the Waltz.

Commercial? No Yankees game? This is bullshit.

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas are up third... and what do they like? They liked their Quick Step. I keep hearing the words "Turning Point" being used. I am also getting to hear just how odd Mark Ballas is. He's incredibly talented and a great choreographer, but he's nuts. They also liked their Paso Doble... another "turning point... "

Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower remember last... and they really liked their Quick Step... that's the dance that they missed their high five... and that's also the dance where Harold Wheeler's singers destroyed Life is a Highway. Assholes. The other dance they liked was the Lindy Hop.

BALLROOM ROUND

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani are finally dancing at 8:30 and I am annoyed that I had to wait this long. They are dancing the Cha Cha and the Quick Step this week. Tony lets us know that this week is really really important becase it is the semi-finals. Duh... Mr. Vanilla Nicey Pants. They come out to the Quick Step first. It's a nice dance and she is really a great dancer, but she isn't a star ... and she admitted it herself. All the judges thought it was nice, but Bruno and Carrie Ann thought it was nice, but not great. The scores are 9, 10, 9 for a total of 28.

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke are up to dance third and they will be dancing the Waltz and the Salsa. Cheryl brings in Jonathan Roberts to teach him how to be sexy. He might be the gayest straight man in the world. That is absurd to me. THe dance is sweet and slow and tender, but we shall see what the judges think. Bruno stood up and yelled incomprehensible words... which means he loved it. Carrie thought it was breathtaking. The scores are 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30.

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas are up third. They took some gambles last week and got some decent scores and tried to impress the audience. This week, they are dancing the Jive and the Argentine Tango. To start the night, she is dancing the Argentine Tango. In her video montage, she was really nerbous about jumping at the right moments. She seemed to hit them all correctly during the dance... and it was kind of cool. Carrie Ann loved it. Len thought it was her best performance yet. Of course, Bruno loved it and somehow... in his ramblings he threw in a Falco reference. The scores are 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30.

Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower come in last for the night. Ty ... in his video... is so completely self aware of himself that it is cute and amusing (I know LA doesn't agree.) They are dancing the Samba and Ty is practicing shaking his butt. He will also be dancing the Viennese Waltz, which will be the first dance tonight. It was one of his best dances of teh year. Len gives some compliments and says it is nice. Bruno thinks it isn't a SemiFinal worthy dance and gets booed out of the room. Carrie Ann says some nice things and then throws in her "but" with some criticism. The scores are 8, 9, 8 for a total of 25.

VIDEO MONTAGE We are learning about heir backgrounds and family life. This is both interesting and annoying.

LATIN ROUND

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani are up to dance the Cha Cha Cha. My wife and I are entertained tha they are working the costume around her tramp stamp. The dance didn't seem on at all... not very crisp. About a 1/2 step off the whole dance. Bruno admits that she was both sensational and yet... didn't keep her energy the whole song. Carrie Ann agrees. Len liked it, but not as much as he wanted to. The scores are 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27.

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke are up next and we look into Gilles' life in France. They are dancing the Salsa. What the hell is this song? and what the hell did they do to it? Dance seemed perfectly good to me and TW, so let's see. Carrie Ann needs a pill. That was a stand up cheer for that. Len is "almost speechless" and he wishes that he had an "11 paddle." The scores are 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30.

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas come in third and we learn that Shawn grew up in Des Moines, IA and her mom and dad are interviewed. The video of her as a tiny tiny tiny person doing gymnastics are adorable. They are dancing the Jive and her poor outfit is horrific. HORRIFIC. The dance starts and something seems pretty off... but it's still far better than I could ever do. Len thought it was good, but too much slapstick and messing about. Bruno likes it when she goes wild. Not perfect, but good. Carrie thought it ended in mud, but still a good performance. (slight boos.... hrmmm.... ) The scores are 9, 8, 9 for a total of 26.

Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower dance last in the Season 8 Semi Finals. Time to get his history and Jewel actually seems like a pleasant individual. They are dancing the Samba and they are suffering from having to do it not too long after Gilles perfect one. Bruno is just mean and his jokes don't work. Carrie Ann thinks he tries so hard and says nothing about the dance. Len doesn't like the Latin dance here. The scores are 8, 7, 8 for a total of 23.

Scores... Just a reminder!

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke -- 30 + 30 = 60
Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas -- 30 + 26 = 56
Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani -- 28 + 27 = 55
Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower -- 25 + 23 = 48

Book 30 of 52 -- Russell Brand's My Booky Wook

I read a bunch of reviews on this book and it was even Entertainment Weekly's Book of the Week one week.

Russell Brand's stage show is singularly his own, and so it would follow that his prose would be similarly unconventional.

I just didn't expect that it would be as good as it is.

How many working comedians have the time to write a 400+ page memoir at the outset of their careers?

For that matter, who has this much to talk about happening in their lives BEFORE stardom? Russell Brand, that's who.

The writing is pretty dense with English colloquialisms, so I'm not sure how those will translate for American readers.

Regardless, it's hilarious as hell, proving that Brand is a worthy successor to the outlaw comic crown previously worn by Richard Pryor and Bill Hicks.

The book's US subtitle is "Sex, Drugs, and Stand-Up".

There's a fair amount of sex, but not as many drugs as you might expect (and very little stand-up, for that matter).

The book starts and ends with Brand's stay in a sex addiction clinic, but judging from his recent troubles with the BBC, he hasn't quite banished all of his sexual demons.

Can't wait for the sequel!

Happy Mother's Day Everyone.

Survivor Tocantins Week Eleven

Tucker’s Nuts
Benjamin Wade (13)
Tamara “Taj” Johnson-George (16)
Deborah “Bubbles” Beebe (5) -- Booted Week Eleven
Tyson Apostol (4) -- Booted Week Nine
Brendan Synnott (9) -- Blindsided Week Eight
Joe Dowdle (8) -- Medevac-ed Week Seven
Spencer Duhm (12) -- Wrongfully booted Week Five
Jerry Simms (1) -- Unfortunately... he basically quit in Week Three.

Asshfault!
Stephen Fishbach (2)
James Thomas, Jr. (10)
Erinn Lobdell (14)
Sierra Reed (6) -- BOOTED WEEK TEN!!!!
Sydney Wheeler (7) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!!
Sandy Burgin (15) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
Candace Smith (11) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!
Carolina Eastwood (3) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!

Book 29 of 52 -- Spencer Quinn's Dog On It

A teenage girl goes missing and her mom hires a private eye to find her; though a very real scenario, this common theme gets turned on its mismatched ears in Dog On It, the new Chet and Bernie mystery by Spencer Quinn.

Told from the perspective of K-9 school dropout Chet, a dog with one white and one black ear, Dog On It moves at greyhound-like pace.

Chet, who has a problem with short-term memory, uses his uniquely canine abilities to help his human.

His sense of smell and ability to sort good people from bad, are keys as he and Bernie, a former cop and soldier, sort through a web of deceit surrounding the disappearance of Madison Chambliss from her home in an un-named Western state.

Chet's penchant for smelling out trouble, and snacks, lands him in some dicey situations.

The bad guys do their best to put down Chet and Bernie, who keep sticking their noses in the wrong spots.

Grab your snacks, find a shady spot outside and curl up for a good time reading Dog On It.

Flea collar not included.

Dancing With the Stars RESULTS WEEK NINE!

So the wife and I just finished a nice but sad movie called Last Chance Harvey. It is sad and yet... predictably happy.

Let's start right off with Samantha in black and Melissa...and Tony dancing their perfect dance from last night... the Samba.

While we are at it... LET'S FILL SOME TIME with a ... RECAP!... zoom zoom...

After the first commercial... we come back to hear Jamie Cullum rip off Harry Connick Jr. and Frank Sinatra by singing I Get A Kick Out of You....

Now it's time for the best way to fill an hour.... DANCE CENTER with Kenny Mayne and Jerry Rice with Len Goodman. They rag on Ty Murray first, Lil Kim second, and Shawn Johnson third.

I didn't and won't comment because they are very funny and I don't want to miss anything.

Let's save someone... so they can compete in next week's SEMIFINALS!!!!!
1. Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke

Dance Center Part II! (Melissa and Gilles are up next... )

Macy's Stars of Dance! -- Two people we have never heard of who are dancing to a Coldplay song... NOT BUTCHERED by Harold Wheeler's assholes...

Hey look! Some professionals are still competing to be on the show next season *sigh* PART ONE

Let's save another person... or two.
2. Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani

Hey look! Some professionals are still competing to be on the show next season. *sigh* PART TWO

Hey look! Some professionals are still competing to be on the show next season and Lisa Rinna doesn't recognize that she is and looks like a fool. *sigh* PART THREE

Saving.....
3. Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas

BOTTOM TWO!!!!
They are... Lil Kim & Derek Hough & Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower

After hearing that the judges will miss either of them... we eliminate one couple... and the couple going home this week is...

Lil Kim & Derek Hough



YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dancing WIth the Stars!!!!!!!!! (Week 9)

So I look at the DVR and I see that this episode is going to be back to the two hours that it was a few weeks ago Sometimes... I can only take so much... but I am reminded by my wife that these superstars of the world are going to be dancing two dances this week.

BBC AMERICA!?!?!?! I wish I had that... thanks for reminding me ABC that I don't have it...

LLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Tonight... in a Make or Break night... they will have to do two new dances AND they must dance a solo in the Latin Dance. Sucker bitches....

The night begins with some professional dancers dancing a simultaneous dance... sooo... Loyal Reader... this is how you fill two hours. (Currently... we are live and I can't fast forward... that will be rectified a little while later when we are watching How I Met Your Mother... )

And NOW... the dancers come down the stairs... starting with that turd... you know her as... Lil Kim... blech.

Sit back Loyal Reader... I am feeling somewhat vicious tonight because of a run-in at work.

WHAT THE F*CK? A Video Montage.... now? Screw you ABC! The judges are nitpicking and telling us what they are going to nitpick about tonight.

BALLROOM ROUND

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas come in first and they are dancing the Quick Step and Shawn is challenged to stay graceful and be fast. She cries a lot and I can't help but think.... "Baby..."... she is 1/2 my age.. ok... just left than half. They are dancing to a song from Aladdin... and I am annoyed at the butcherin' of a great song. "Friend Like Me" It does distract me from the dancing which I really liked. Len thought it was fun and entertaining. Good for her... but... he thinks they didn't follow the rules... about breaking the hold. Bruno liked it and Carrie Ann thought it was her best dance ever... but will give her a nine for breaking the rules. The scores are 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27.

Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower will be dancing the Argentine Tango first and his video was short and to the point. He's going to work really, really really hard. The whole dance was decent, but both TW and I were cringing at certain lifts. Bruno thought it was decent, and Carrie Ann comments about how he has come far, but he wasn't perfect. Len loved it. The scores are 8, 9, 8 for a total of 25.

Lil Kim & Derek Hough are up third and Lil Kim is a hooker based up her oufits. She doesn't want to dance ballroom dances like the Waltz, but she wants to be the "Complete Ballroom Package." Harold Wheeler and his merry band of misfits seems to be fucking with yet another song. It was boring and nothing special. Carrie Ann is ubercritical. Good for her. Bruno is DEAD ON..... "You tried to be a lady, but you are more comfortable being a tramp." Bless you Bruno... Bless you for saying it perfectly. The dance is boring and the scores are 8, 9, 8 for a total of 25.

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke are up and I have turned 180 on Gilles. I like him, but I am hating on Cheryl. I would hate to be her partner. They go watch some professionals dance... and somehow... he is feeling more comfortable for his Foxtrot. 15 seconds into the dance, it's already better than Lil Kim's dance. It's slow and passionate. The song is the best one of the night so far... "Fever" and that is hard to do. Well done dance. It deserves some really high scores. Len isn't entirely favorable, even though he liked the dance. Of course Bruno liked it a lot as did Carrie Ann... The scores are 10, 9, 10 for a total of 29.

VIDEO MONTAGE... one I am excited about. It is a preview of tomorrow night's DanceCenter with Kenny Mayne.

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani are next... Hey... do you remember that she was hurt last week? I did... but yet... they keep reminding us... So... the whole video is about being delicate around her... Boooooooring... They are dancing the Viennese Waltz this week. It's a beautiful dance that just seems to be missing something... so I am sure she will get big scores for her "comeback." *yawn*... The judges liked it, but they were critical. Fantastic!!! Len was the nicest. The scores are 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27.

Some video about the pro's competing... fast forward!

LATIN ROUND!!!! -- Time for some video thoughts and a reminder that each dancer has to do 15 seconds on their own.

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas makes me giggly by trying out herself at the Paso Doble. She can't be cute doing this! She can't help but laugh a lot. This ought to be interesting. We think the dance started with her solo, but we aren't sure. She's certainly a lot meaner and stern duriong the dance. THe beginning WAS her solo and it was pretty good. Fierce... as LA would say... Carrie Ann loved it. Len thought the dancing was good, but didn't think it was over-exciting. Shawn is visibly upset by this and so was Mark. Len seems overly critical, but Bruno judges her correctly. The scores are 10, 9, 10 for a total of 29 (See the TOTAL total below... ).

Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower are up again and they are dancing the Rumba. He doesn't feel strong about it, but let's get cracking. The video is actually hilarious. Ty has a good sense of humor... even though he has no delivery. This is the worst rendition of a Tom Petty song ever. He is trying so hard and itisn't working for him. He ends it on an awkward him shake in front of his wife... and yet... it is bad... but I get the feeling that he knows he is going out... so he goofed it out a bit... At least I am hoping so. The scores are 7, 7, 7 for a total of 21(See the TOTAL total below... ).

Lil Kim & Derek Hough are up for their second dance and they are dancing the Salsa. This should be a better dance for her since she can shake her crappy slutty moneymaker. She is gonna shake her "Bionic Booty." Fuck her... especially since she got mad about being called a tramp. She's just disgusting and I am going to have to disown you friends that like her. I really might have to. Bruno loved it. Carrie thought it was out of control. Len mentioned Spotted Dick... uhhh.... In all seriousness... the blacks in the audience unfairly tried to intimidate the judges with their chanting. The scores are 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27(See the TOTAL total below... ).

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke will be trying out the Rumba. Frenchie can't wait to show us his Latin Lover... didn't he already do that in Sex and the City: The Movie? Get it? MWAH HA HA HA HA.... He gets a great song (still poorly performed).. Marvin Gaye's Sexual Healing. Well done. Carrie Ann thought it was hot, but self indulgent. The other two weren't too enamoured either. The scores are 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27(See the TOTAL total below... ).

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani are dancing the Samba. The last dance of the night. WHAT?!?!!?!? During the video montage... Tony gives her the news about the 15 second solo. She says... "I am not a celebrity... so can I get out of this on a technicality?" Bingo. Enough said. Be back after the dance is over. Len loved it. Bruno loved it. Carrie Ann thought it was perfect. The scores are 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30 (See the TOTAL total below... ).

Scores... Just a reminder!

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani -- 27 + 30 = 57
Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke -- 29 + 27 = 56
Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas -- 27 + 29 = 56
Lil Kim & Derek Hough -- 25 + 27 = 52
Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower -- 25 + 21 = 46

Book 28 of 52 -- David Wild's He Is . . . I Say: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Neil Diamond

This book hits a truly sweet spot where the biography of Neil Diamond, the autobiography of David Wild and a critical appreciation of pop music's most enduring singer/songwriter overlap.

The author is the rarest of beasts - a fully-anointed Rolling Stone-certified rock critic who isn't too much a rock-snob to appreciate the full scope of Neil Diamond's unique talent and legacy.

And I'm not just talking about the early recordings that even the most staunch rock snobs seem to have finally embraced, but every stage of Diamond's career--Wild does casual fans the service of picking the great songs out of Neil's overlooked albums.

More importantly, though, Wild defends the career of the man himself in a measured but passionate book that incorporates his own feelings about Neil's music with his many encounters with the man himself.

He doesn't dig for dirt in Diamond's personal biographical details, nor does he go for cheap shots at some of the man's admittedly less-than-stellar work.

Instead he makes the case for a truly unique artist who, into his late 60s, is coming full-circle to his beginnings as a songwriter and, yes, even critical success.

Survivor Tocantins -- Week Ten

Phew!

The bloodletting was finally stopped.

Tucker’s Nuts
Deborah “Bubbles” Beebe (5)
Benjamin Wade (13)
Tamara “Taj” Johnson-George (16)
Tyson Apostol (4) -- Booted Week Nine
Brendan Synnott (9) -- Blindsided Week Eight
Joe Dowdle (8) -- Medevac-ed Week Seven
Spencer Duhm (12) -- Wrongfully booted Week Five
Jerry Simms (1) -- Unfortunately... he basically quit in Week Three.

Asshfault!
Stephen Fishbach (2)
James Thomas, Jr. (10)
Erinn Lobdell (14)
Sierra Reed (6) -- BOOTED WEEK TEN!!!!
Sydney Wheeler (7) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!!
Sandy Burgin (15) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
Candace Smith (11) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!
Carolina Eastwood (3) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!