Dancing With the Stars Week 2 Boot....

Hooray... Helio and Julianne were chosen to the do encore dance. Julianne rocks and Helio is a handsome Roberto Benigni...

Jane Seymour is not on because her mom passed away. Oh boy... She is announced by Tom as safe and has told DwtS that she will remain in the show as a tribute to her mother... the main reason she did the show to begin with. That was so sweet and nice.

Helio is the second contestant to remain in the competition.

Queen Latifah performs and I take advantage of my DVR's fast forward function.

Drew interviews... the two lowest scores... Mark Cuban and Wayne...how do they feel? Of course they hope that America votes for them and saves them... Wayne pulls the sympathy card and sends out a tribute to Jane.

The third couple to be saved? Mel and Max

The fourth couple to be saved? Sabrina and Mark

Jimmy and Guillermo are back and not dancing this year... so they are going "Behind the Scenes"

The fifth couple to be saved? Mark and Kym (This is only good to me because I really like Kym

Six Couples to Go... who's going home?

The sixth couple to be saved? Johnny and Marie Good for her...

The seventh couple to be saved? Floyd and Karina

The eighth couple saved? Jennie and Erick

The ninth couple saved? Cameron and Edyta

The bottom two are....

Wayne and Cheryl AND Albert and Anna




Sooooo...... the couple to get booted... is....

Albert and Anna



bye bye

Dancing With the Stars -- Week 2

I know that I won't do this every week, but here are some more of my really really really really really funny comments or nitpicky barbs about the second week.

Tom... you hyperbolic bastard. (He shall now be known as Hyperbolic Bastard or HB depending on how lazy I am)... I love you... but I should count how many times you say EVER for the season. Currently... he is harping on the fact that last week was the most exceptional starting week... EVER!

Shit... Drew Lachey is back... at least it still isn't that crap hole swollen lipped Lisa Rinna.

Oh Cheryl....what the hell is that outfit...

Kym had a super boobfest outfit and yet... Tangentwoman didn't think twice about it... she sort of expects it from Kym... as few people can wear an outfit like that.

Ha Ha Ha... Scary Spice needed an etiquette coach... Ha Ha Ha Ha...

Nope... still don't like Mark Cuban....

Poor Wayne... (I will probably say that until the last week...) AND he did the finger guns again... STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sooo... as I watch Marie OSmond dance... I am reminded of a debate goin on in the world of Dancing With the Stars... What exactly is a Star? Eddie Murphy is a star but is the mother of his child reeally a star....My thought is that Marie Osmond is probably the biggest star on the show, but shouldn't star have something to do with relevance and if so... then she isn't a big star... eh... whatever... good for her... she did the Death Drop.

Even Tangentwoman can't stand Bad Hair (Albert) Reed. For a guy that handsome and chiseled, what the hell is up with that hair. He dedicated this week's dance to his dead grandfather... wow... shoot for empathy... you silly pants. That's just a cheap shot for a borderline "star." ALright... his slide down the bannister was pretty coolio.

Back to what the definition of a star is... is it sad that I think most of the dancers are bigger stars now than some of the stars....?

Julianne Hough is fabulous... HElio ain't so bad either. His good charm and laughter are STILL Infectious. We thought his dance seemed awesome... so did the judges thankfully...

Jennie almost got a concussion from her partner dropping her... Come on Jennie's partner... stupid brother of awesome Julianne.

WOOOO HOOOOO Edyta has one of her head band thingies on again... why do they make me so happy? Because... it is so weird.... almost as weird as that insance dress... which was really awesome when she was twirling... it seemed to fill with air.

So... Cameron and Floyd were fake boxing in one of those unforced pre-commercial break lead ins... and I might have said out loud... "Please stop fake boxing and 'accidentally' punch Sabrina in the face...." That made Tangentwoman guffaw.

Floyd... to us looked rigid and rough... but got lots of compliments... who knew?

Is it my imagination or has Jane Seymour aged better than anyone.... ever?

Sabrina's turn.. and yet... I am speechless... I was taught that if I have nothing positive to say... I should not say anything at all... but I can't stand her or Annoying Face. BLECH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hip hop or not... I totally think it's unfair that she is on this show... she has way too much dance experience to be on this show. Her dancing is great... but she is a complete and total Cheetah Mo Mo.

That's it kids... Sabrina will probably go far, but I don't know if she is popular enough to win.

If I Only Had a Camera

So… on a recent Sunday morning, I was sitting at the Metropark train station on the Southbound side.

I was especially attentive on this chilly morning as I had effectively thrown my back out the day prior.

The pain was strong and I was sitting as straight up as I could making very few movements in order to not experience any pain.

I felt like I looked like Forrest Gump sitting straight up in my khaki pants with my hands on my knees talking to strange people. (If only I had some chocolates.)

I looked around and noticed that on the Northbound side was an elevator door sitting atop a concrete tower about 50 feet above the ground.

What made this elevator so amazing was that there was no platform attached to the tower.

It just floated there… like… the Twilight Zone door…

I goofily looked at it and got the attention of the person next to me, a professionally dressed woman next to me.

“That seems like the meanest handicap elevator on Earth,” I said.

She laughed.

I laughed too….

I made a funny.

Rock of Love

It came to an end last night... I am not sure I can watch the reunion show... it will be way too painful for me.

Bret picked the right girl, but possibly not the right one for him.

Poop

9 Words Women Use

1. Fine: This is the word women use to end an argument when they are right and you need to shut up.

2. Five Minutes: If she is getting dressed, this means a half an hour. Five minutes is only five minutes if you have just been given five more minutes to watch the game before helping around the house.

3. Nothing: This is the calm before the storm. This means something, and you should be on your toes. Arguments that begin with nothing usually end in fine.

4. Go Ahead: This is a dare, not permission. Don't Do It!

5. Loud Sigh: This is actually a word, but is a non-verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A loud sigh means she thinks you are an idiot and wonders why she is wasting her time standing here and arguing with you about nothing. (Refer back to #3 for the meaning of nothing.)

6.. That's Okay: This is one of the most dangerous statements a woman can make to a man. That's okay means she wants to think long and hard before deciding how and when you will pay for your mistake.

7. Thanks: A woman is thanking you, do not question, or Faint. Just say you're welcome.

8. Whatever: Is a women's way of saying F@!K YOU!

9. Don't worry about it, I got it: Another dangerous statement, meaning this is something that a woman has told a man to do several times, but is now doing it herself. This will later result in a man asking "What's wrong?" For the woman's response refer to #3.

The Pro Wrestler and Her Boobs... Evicted.

Outwitted...

Driving to Dover -- That's Some Crazy Shit!

So... as many of you know... I head on down to see the NASCAR Nextel race twice a year at Dover Super Speedway.

I leave really early in the morning -- 3:00 am early... so when I am driving, I am assuming that besides the other idiot people going that early, it is mostly people who are coming home from hanging out.

It's right about that time of night.

So... this year... I decided to drive down on my own and meet my friends down there instead of getting up earlier and having to drive 50 miles out of the way. (It's all about arriving home at a decent hour.)

I knew it was "that time of the night" because there were two types of cars on the road -- limos with disco balls lit up and NASCAR covered trucks and vans.

Further down the road, I pulled into a New Jersey Turnpike rest stop to get some gas.

A 90 year fellow was sitting on a grass median some 75 feet away and made his way over to pump the gas into my car.

No joke, but 7 minutes later, he arrived at my car and filled the tank.

I am all for giving people work but that seemed a bit excessive and to have him working at 3:45?!?!?!

I travelled a bit further and came to a dead stop on the Delaware Route 1 for an accident.

I eventually was allowed to pass and saw a gruesome sight -- a small car had flipped over and the driver's side window was about 2 inches high now.

Ick.

So... driving really late at night is fun and if you look carefully... you will find a lot of fun things... or not.

Survivor China -- Week Two Tonight!

WOOO HOOOOO!!!! Survivor China kicked off an awesome season last week with a truly killer episode.

I am sooooo psyched that the show has returned to its roots and and went back to less gimmicks and just 16 players in two pre-picked teams. They will play for a million dollars and slash each other's throats in the process.

It also looks like it is less of a contrived cast than normal so this should be fun.

Here are some of my early impressions...

Ashley isn't too long for this world.

Jamie forgot to wear a bra. She is my favorite...whether she is on my team or not.

Courtney is a bit abrasive but i like her a bunch. I hope she sticks around a long time.

Chicken... ummm.... he's gone... Phew... and shame on CBS for not putting up subtitles on him. They only seem to do that with black people.

Jean Robert is the same shape that Arnold Schwarzennegger was in Twins. Preggers.

Todd is a gay Mormom flight attendant... heh?

James is a grave digger and has perhaps the greatest physique of all time. That sweet monster reminds me of Michael Clarke Duncan's character in the Green Mile.

Peigh Gee -- Sweetie... could you shut up... you seem nice... now back up and relax.

My prediction for tonight? Ashley gets the boot

Thinking about the game... I am now up one player in BOTH GAMES!!!!!

Here's the picks... and... remember... the parenthesis indicate when they were picked in the draft.

GAME ONE

Tucker's Nuts
1. Courtney (1)
2. Todd (4)
3. Denise (5)
4. Peigh-Gee (8)
5. James (9)
6. Erik (12)
7. Dave (13)
8. Leslie (16)

ASSSHHHHFAULT
1. Amanda (2)
2. Ashley (3)
3. Jean-Robert (6)
5. Aaron (10)
6. Frostie (11)
7. Jamie (14)
8. Sherea (15)
4. Steve (Chicken) (7) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!

GAME TWO

Tucker's Nuts
1. Courtney (1)
2. Amanda (4)
3. Todd (5)
4. Denise (8)
5. Peigh-Gee (9)
6. Frostie (12)
7. Jean-Robert (13)
8. Sherea (16)

FBT
1. Erik (2)
2. James (3)
3. Jamie (6)
4. Ashley (7)
5. Dave (10)
6. Aaron (11)
8. Leslie (15)
7. Steve (14) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!

Preliminary Thoughts

Kid Nation -- It got goooooder last night.

Journeyman -- Judge is still out... I like the concept, but something is nagging me about it. Tangentwoman likes it a lot so I will watch it at least one more time.

Bionic Woman -- I dig it... a bunch... BSG Lite

One Down -- 11 to Go

Fun Fact of the Day

Did you know that the guy who played Epstein on Welcome Back Kotter is John Bon Jovi's cousin?

Dancing With the Stars -- Part Two -- The Men

The Men's Turn

Some of my friends like to state -- You watch Dancing With the Stars? You must be gay. My normal response is something to the effect of... Jesus... did you not see how hot these women are? I might also throw in a comment about performing and how much respect I have for everyone on the show. It makes me miss the old days of acting...

Here's why I bring this up. Tonight's episode features the men and Tom BErgeron started the episode with something like... "Last night was about the women, but tonight it's raining men!!!!"

That doesn't help my anti-gay defenses.

Cameron Mathison -- After watching his pre-interviews from last night's show, I am fully prepared to hate him and Alan Reed, but Cameron is dancing with Edyta... Ok... DAMMIT... he had a disease that made him wear braces as a child... how the hell am I supposed to hate this guy? LEt's see him dance. The first thought? The people that design Edyta's dresses are amazing. His dancing seemed rough and rigid, but the ending was nice. The judges seem to agree with me... Good judges...



Tom's second inadvertent gay reference was just said "We have only seen the tip of the all man iceberg."

Floyd Mayweather Jr. -- Before even looking at a dance, he was my prediction of the non-dancers to do well since I have seen him box many times and he has some of the smoothest moves in the ring. THat's one reason why many consider him the best pound for pound boxer in the world... currently... He's cocky... and must get used to being part of a team. His dancing seemed overexcited and slouchy, but still better than I could ever do... He will do fine once he learns to control his physical abilities.



Helio Castroneves -- Alright... dammit... I love his partner... Julianne Huff. She has aged fifteen years in 6 months. He seems like a nice fella and seems to be genuinely enjoying himself. His laughter to me is infectious. He looks so nervous out there... I want him to win... he probably won't... but I'll root for him. The judges thinks he's a natural.



Albert Reed -- No... Stop trying to be charming... you are not funny or cool. Contrived turd burglar. He keeps refrencing how hot he is... but at least he recofnizes that he is the least famous person in the competition... and will have to earn it. Is that a white man's overbite? Don't worry about his routines... they will have plenty of gimmicks. The judges were confused by the gimmicks... but still gave him decent scores. Fakers.



Mark Cuban -- I am not ready to like him either... I don't like the way he handles himself in the NBA and as a public person either. Tangentwoman barely saw him and was already hating him. He's trying too hard and he is with Kym... a dancer that we both like a lot. His competitive side is something I respect, but his personality dominates it a bit and is on the obnoxious side. He wasn't entirely terrible, but I can't seem him doing the latin dances. Good luck Mark... you will be one of the first men out...



Wayne Newton -- Is he real? Is he fake? Is he George Hamilton? I am not quite sure. He's having fun, but that was incredibly painful. I like him as a person best of all the men. His popularity will probably get him to 6th through 8th. Good luck Wayne and keep having fun...and keep shooting those choreographed GUN FINGERS!



My early impressions of the men?

Floyd and Cameron probably have the best shot of the men... and I predict that a woman will win this year.

I will stop watching it though if it is that little round turd named Sabrina.

(Should I call her a turd? What's it to you?)

Dancing With the Stars -- Part One -- The Women

Alright... in an effort to draw out one of the top rated shows of all time, they are starting tonight with a night of just female stars and tomorrow will be just male dancers. Even I... the guy who loves this show... thinks that's a bit too much.

The credits are on... who the hell are most of these people? Dancing With the Stars -- C Level.

Drew Lachey is standing in for Samantha Harris as the fill in host since she just had a baby... WAY TOO MUCH EYE MAKE UP.



I probably would have quit watching right here and now if the guest host was Lisa Rinna like some of the people predicted... I hate her face.

Now... let's meet our stars... and my thoughts... for the chicks only...

Jennie Garth -- Jennie is still a cutie...she is more normal looking now and not so "glamorous"... She was the first dance of the competition. She's a bit stiff and her timing is off, but I bet she lasts awhile. She got better as she moved along. Nerves wore off... Her husband is nice and supportive.



Josie Maran -- I didn't know this name when I heard it. Today... when I was listening to Stern, he was talking about DwtS and how much he loves Josie. He was claiming that she was beautiful and was rooting for her. Yeup... she's a cutie and dammit... she's coming off as very cute and charming in terms of personality. That's always distracting to me. She comes off as uncoordinated... She has nice posture and her facial expressions are great... and heck... she wore glitter on her body... just like a stripper. Nice work.



Sabrina Bryan -- What the hell is a Cheetah Girl? Well... it seems like she is a High School Musical wannabe... Alright... Sabrina and her partners... Annoying Face are going to be the most annoying people in the world. I wish I could against people and not FOR people. I would knock her out... without even seeing her dance yet. I bet she stays a long time because of her Disney Channel influence. So... for the dance itself... ANnnoying Face did all the dancing and Cheetah Face did not much of anything. THen... half way through... they kicked it into high gear... and impressed me... Sh*t... I will say one thing... she ... in her Cheetah Girl side... has to dance. It seems unfair that she is in this.



Marie Osmond -- I want to like her. I really do. I am giving her a shot to have some fun out there and maybe lose a couple pounds, but I can't really see her winning this thing. If she does... then watch out... Mitt Romney is going to win the Presidency because all those dang Mormons stick together.... no? Either way... her dance was sweet and classy. Good work.



Mel B -- Before she even steps onto the floor, I want to say that it really seems unfair that thiese two women who have experience as singers and are "performers" are on this show. They can obviously be coordinated and understand choreography so I don't get it in the long run. That British accent is tough... and she just had a frigging baby? You have to be kidding me. Her pre-dance interview was annoying.... oof... She dances well... and another GLITTER HOOKER chick. Nice.



Jane Seymour -- She is my sentimental favorite although I don't think that she has a chance in heck. THe older ladies don't stand a chance on a show like this, but I will root for her each each. I love you Dr. Quinn. I do...



Ok... Sabrina and Mel B are the favorites coming out of week one for the women. Jennie isn't bad either... but a woman hasn't won since season one and that was up for debate with many.

BIG RU NEWS

St. Louis Rams running back Steven Jackson will miss at least one week with a partial tear of his left groin, an injury sustained in the fourth quarter of Sunday's 24-3 loss at Tampa Bay. Rookie Brian Leonard, a second-round pick from Rutgers, will get his first start Sunday at Dallas. Coach Scott Linehan said Jackson would be week to week.

# 10!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Book 49 of 52 -- South Park: You Know, I Learned Something Today (The Blackwell Philosophy & Pop Culture Series)

I am a huge South Park fan.

I love it.

It really is the best show on television when it is dead on.

One of the main reasons that I like the show is that I think it is much deeper than what you would expect it to be... and I mean on a level that I have difficulty explaining.

We live in an age where it seems that every philosophy enthusiast is obsessed with achieving relevance.

So here is a collection of serious essays in which 23 American academics (from such institutions as the College of Staten Island and the University of Central Arkansas) try to squeeze philosophical significance out of the manic world of Cartman, Chef, Big Gay Al, et al.

It might help if the essays weren't given such titles as "Flatulence and Philosophy" or, my personal favourite, "Aesthetic Value, Ethos, and Phil Collins: the power of music in South Park".

The book's underpinning argument is that philosophy has practical application in everyday life and, whatever the catalyst, the debate can turn serious and intelligent if you strip the issues from their humorous context.

Thus much of the book is about gender issues, gay marriage, voting rights, evil, religious pluralism and existentialism.

A Young Farm Boy...

A Young Farm Boy...

A young farm boy goes off to college, but about one-third of the way through the semester, he has foolishly squandered away all of the money his parents gave him. Then he gets an idea. He calls his daddy. "Dad," he says, "you won't believe the wonders that modern education is coming up with! Why, they actually have a program here at Iowa State that will teach our dog, Ole Blue how to talk!" "That's absolutely amazing," his father says. "How do I get him in that program?" "Just send him down here with $1,000" the boy says. "I'll get him into the course."

So, his father sends the dog and the $1,000. About two-thirds of the way through the semester, the money runs out. The boy calls his father again. "So how's Ole Blue doing, son," his father asks. "Awesome, Dad, he's talking up a storm," he says, "but you just won't believe this - they've had such good results with this program that they've implemented a new one to teach the animals how to READ!"

"READ," says his father, "No kidding! What do I have to do to get him in that program?"

Just send $2,500, I'll get him in the class."

His father sends the money. The boy now has a problem. At the end of the year, his father will find out that the dog can neither talk, nor read. So he shoots the dog. When he gets home at the end of the semester, his father is all excited.

"Where's Ole Blue? I just can't wait to see him talk and read something!"

"Dad," the boy says, "I have some grim news. Yesterday morning, just before we left to drive home, Ole Blue was in the living room kicked back in the recliner, reading the Wall Street Journal, like he usually does. Then he turned to me and asked, 'So, is your daddy still messin' around with that little redhead who lives in town?'

The father says, "I hope you SHOT that son of a bitch before he talks to your Mother!"

"I sure did, Dad!"

"That's my boy!"

The kid went on to become a successful lawyer.

Two Ways to Look at Everything

Two Ways to Look at Everything

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asks, "Do you know her?"

"Yes," I sighed, "She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since."

"My God!" says my wife, "Who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?"

So you see, there really are 2 ways to look at everything!

Book 48 of 52 -- Gregory Maguire's Son of a Witch

It's been awhile since I finished a book (tee hee).

Gregory Maguire's Son of a Witch is an experiment in frustration.

Son of a Witch is the sequel to Maguire's book Wicked.

It is the story of what happened to Liir, the son (probably) of Elphaba (the Wicked Witch of the West).

While Wicked had a very broad scope where you were always aware of the world around Elphaba full of political, social and religious depth, Son of a Witch generally has a much narrower view, largely focussing just on Liir and the people around him with little concern for the broader picture.

The result of that shift is that readers have much less of a grasp of what is going on in Oz and why certain things might be happening.

The political situation is extremely fuzzy and unclear and the religious issues are much harder to understand.

This kind of hurts what could have been a very interesting book.

In general, I wasn't terribly happy with this book. It wasn't bad, but I wouldn't recommend it either.

I could have lived without reading.