My Missing Brother -- Michael -- A Tale About Santa and Muh Beliefs.

I consider myself a pretty funny person. I make cracks and jokes all the time and I get a pretty decent return on my jokes -- at least 75%. I am much like an Airplane! or Hot Shots movie in that I will bombard you with jokes and hopefully something will make you laugh.

A few years ago, I was hanging out with my mom and someone else when we started talking about my childhood and something that I did. I don't remember what it was that I did nor do I care.

My response to the story was to blame it on my missing older brother Michael that my mother had given up for adoption before I was born. We all laughed about it and let it go.

For years now, that reference continues to come up. Whenever I burp at the table or make a stupid remark, it is usually my mother or myself that says something tot he effect of -- "Smelmooo, that's gross. Your brother Michael would never have done that."

I smile and let it go as it was funny to reference my adopted older brother that I have never met... because... he doesn't exist. There was no older brother Michael and there never will be... but... he seems to "exist" now.

I think I can only hear so many jokes before I start to believe that he exists.

This is a weird socialization thing as far as I am concerned.

I grew up with Santa Claus in muh life... He came once a year and brought presents and all around good stuff to my house every year. I learned to really like the idea of Santa Claus and appreciate him for his generous ways... even if he mostly brought Sports Illustrated videos to us.

I eventually learned... like every kid.. that Santa Claus isn't real -- the horror!

I accepted that fact and I should have known since Santa Claus' handwriting always looked an awful lot like my mother's handwriting. Oh well...

So... fast forward to 2005 and 2006. I am a 32 year old grown man and I watch Christmas specials and the special Christmas episodes all the time. Each one of them generally has a Santa theme to it and I get sucked in. Yeah... I know he's fake, but at least one of these stupid special episodes makes me wonder if Santa is real.

This is similar to what I feel every time I hear Michael referenced... I wonder if he is real...

Then... I remember... he isn't.

Oh well...