Dear Anyone I Hang Out With When Drinking...
I hate when anyone who uses the phrase... "I broke the seal." in reference to drinking.
It's stupid and bullshit.
Breaking the seal is defined on urbandictionary.com as "Your first piss in the pub, usually after 2 hours of drinking. After breaking the seal of your bladder, repeat visits to the toilet will be required every 10 or 15 minutes for the rest of the night."
The urban effect is that... you will have to pee over and over again if you pee that first time.
That is such a stupid and warped sense of logic that it annoys me to no end.
You have to pee no matter what? Why not pee when you get the chance?
I am not giving away any disgusting secrets here... but I love peeing. It feels good and any chance I can get to pee when I have to... I will take it.
Breaking the seal is fine in my books, because it helps me pee...
Here's another thougth as to why it's stupid... people die from holding it in too much. You are going to kill yourself and make it so you need a catheder one day...and that will suck.
And yet... another thought... it takes your body about 45 minutes to metabolize a beer. So... it should take about 45 minutes to an hour for you to have to pee. So... as you drink more and more... it goes in at a faster rate than 45 minutes... so of COURSE you are going to have to pee more.
WHATEVER... I am a rambling mess over this because the whole breaking the seal thing is just stupid and bullshit.
Love,
Smelmooo
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5 comments:
Dear Smelmmooo:
You ignorant slut.
Clearly you were not a drunk in college. If you were, you would already know that in order to be able to afford that kind of lifestyle you would drink in some pretty unsanitary places -- places that do not put a priority on cleaning their bathrooms.
Not "breaking your seal" was MORE about protecting your health, than any danger posed by holding your pee for an extra few minutes.
Also, once you start thinking about "breaking the seal" it is clear you are in for a long night of drinking, and its probably beer. Seriously, who sits down at a restaurant, has a cocktail and opens a bottle of wine and worries about "breaking the seal?"
I don't care how long it takes to metabolize a beer. Once you have metabolized your first beer, "breaking the seal" you are probably on beer 3 or 4. So, once you start going, you are going to keep going.
BOOORRRINNNGGGG
You were the guy who always ruined for everyone else weren't you? You know what I'm talking about, everyone drinks for free until someone "breaks the seal." You couldn't hold it, could you?
What I can't believe is that you're still bitter about it. Just let it go (oh, you already did).
I would never get myself into that predicament.
I was always looking to get the $1 or $2 pitcher.
so I had some place to pee if it got too busy.
B/c you knew you'd only let your friends down.
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