I have some great friends. I really do. Most are nice and decent, but some are jerks, assholes, or have a hard time showing why they are great because of a personality that bears changing.
I have no problem admitting that some of my friends would not be liked by many other people, but I love them for what they are -- nice and loyal to me and my wife.
That's all I really care about... Are you good to me and my wife? Do you make me laugh and not uncomfortable when we hang out? Then you are good for me and my psyche and you make me a better person.
So, I meet some of my friends' good friends sometimes and it is not rare that I absolutely can't stand them.
I recently met one of the best friends ever of one of my friends. Oh boy... I didn't like her.
"We are just different people," I kept telling myself. "It's ok to not like your friends' friends." And... I slept well that night.
IT couldn't have been me... really?
This makes me wonder about blind dates too... I went out on some blind dates before I met my lovely wife. Some nice and some disastorous... and every single time I have ever been on a disastorous blind date I have thought the same thing... "Does my friend really know me well enough? How the hell could he/she have thought that I would want to have gone out with this freak of nature?"
heh heh... whatever... another blog and another crappy ending...
How about this question though?
Ever want to divorce one of your current friends?
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4 comments:
i have (or wanted to) divorced many friends in my younger years, but am pretty happy with my current set. there were a few in college that took awhile to shake loose (not you, of course, smelmooo, but some you know!) but things have gone much more smoothly for the past few years. i think it is because i have less time to deal with petty bullshit, so i just don't. mostly.
it's interesting when a friend's great friend only gets along with a part of the group. i'm in the midst of that a few times over right now.
I didn't think I was THAT bad! Please don't chuck me!
I have been at the giving and the receiving end of friend-divorcing. Sometimes it hurts, sometimes it's a relief, but it's generally because it's too much of an effort to stay friends. It's just not worth the time for either party.
It wasn't anyone from the dinner on the 28th.
I divorced a friend right after I graduated from college.
My friend was one of my closest and best friends in high school, but as we grew older and apart, her high-maintenance personality was just too much to take. I actually sat her down and told her that I didn't want to be friends with her anymore. It was tough - I know I hurt her, but I think my blowing her off repeatedly was more painful for both of us.
All of our mutual friends wanted to know when I was going to stop being mad at her, or when I was going to start talking to her again. I explained, I don't know how many times, that I was not mad and was talking to her, but our friendship had changed.
Eleven years later, the friend I divorced and I still keep in touch; we talk or email at least once every two months, and we see each other at least every other year. The friends that I didn't divorce, that I just grew apart from, are no longer part of my circle, and I can honestly say I don't miss them in the slightest.
Lori
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