Dancing With the Stars -- Week 8 (Holy Crap I Wrote a Lot)

Soo... the show hasn't begun yet... but I must say... I really enjoyed the booting of Sabrina last week so much that I am still giddy. This fact was re-enforced all week when I would over hear people talking about what a crime it was... so I would get kind of annoying and ask... Did you vote? No one said they did. So... Bingo... that's the problem.

Still before the show at this point... I just found out that since Sabrina is the little media whore that she is... she announced today that her and Mark are going to romantically date. Nice timing media whore...

Hey... it's starting...Tom reminded us that in the "topsy turvy world of ballroom... anything can happen..." I think something big happened... but if it was about someone important... I would care.

Thank you Tom... you have helped add balance to my life... with... LLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy crap... this episode is 1 hour and 45 minutes long. That's a lot of dancing...ahhh... two individual routines... that explains it... that's like twice the obnoxious blogs for you...

(Psssst Jane... eat this... *giggle* *giggle*)

Time to get into the Ballroom round...

Life is good again... Julianne Hough and Helio Castroneves are first... I am disappointed in him... he is wearing a "We Love You Sabrina" t-shirt... Now... for the dance... Julianne looks lovely... the music sucks... I hate the house band... but I suppose they really add to the overall cheesiness of the show... TW just pointed out that she has pink underpants on... *wink*... I had no idea. The dance was a bit vanilla... Len yelled at julianne... not Helio... interesting... Yay!!! Carrie Ann doesn't have her Aunt Flo in town! Oof... they were tough... 25 for the first score of the night.

Samantha reminds us that the reason that Sabrina was voted off... was because YOU... the audience didn't vote. She throws it back to TOm who has the line of the season... "And that whole global warming thing? That's your fault too."

Marie Osmond (porn) is up. Jonathan Roberts seems to notice how much weight she has lost... I have.. Marie has 9 kids. No wonder she is never at risk even though she has the lowest scores. She gives birth to all the votes. Oof... I totally think this is perhaps her worst dance.... She is pretty mediocre.. but there is a three person standing ovation that includes her husband and brother Donnie. I don't know my shit at all... the judges seem to love her. Poop. I am telling you... much like the Chinese... don't underestimate the Mormons. Her score? 28. Carrie Ann gave her a 10.

"Spice Girl" Mel B is up... and it's funny... most of the people that I talk to that are female think that her partner Maksim is the sexiest person in the world. Okie dokie... I don't get it since his personality is so poopy. She is a professional dancer people... and she just admitted it on television... does she really deserve to win? No dress for Mel B... just pants. Blech. Judges? Not good... oh well. They aren't getting a perfect score this week. Her score... 24.

Jane Seymour and her weak ass tummy is up next. I remember that in the beginning of the season... I thought that she was so sweet and demure... and classy... Now... I think she is incredibly smug and crappy. She is overdoing the relationship/friendship with Johnny Cash... She said this... "I think the greatest gift I have had on this show is coming back and dancing to Walk the Line." *SCREECHING HALT* WHat? I swear that the she said that the greatest gift for this show was dancing for her dead MOTHER! Screw you Jane... I am now actively rooting against you. You are the new demon...now that Sabrina is gone. Now... the we unpause the DVR and take a deep breath and watch the slowest Quick Step.... ever... (Oh shit! She's wearing June and Johnny's jewelry... screw you Manipulative Jerky Pants) Her score? 24... Tied for Last

Jennie Garth and Derek Hough are up... Jennie is still a normalish type woman and I think she is fun... her dancing is the most vanilla of the bunch... but I really like her... oh well... and I liked the dance... especially the end... and BLAMMO... the judges bust my bubble... oh well... I can't predict them anymore... Their score... 25... phew... not last.

Cameron Matheson and Edyta are up next. EDYTA!!!!!!! He was in the bottom two last week. That means that he really has to step up his game this week. That was as dumb as asking a coach why his team lost after a game. "Umm... we didn't score enough points and didn't play defense or offense as well as the other team." No shit. Why do I pretend to be surprised by Edyta's outfits? Cameron seems unsure of himself out there... that's a shame. I like him now... and I think he knows how much he messing up... but alas... His score? 24... it really could have been worse....

LATIN ROUND!!!!

Julianne and Helio are back doing the Samba... Now... that's an outfit.... Thankfully... there are no more videos... just dancing. Bruno loved him! Carrie loved him! Len... ummm... that was hilarious... "Just because you are from Brazil...doesn't mean you are going to be good at the Samba... and just because you are from Texas doesn't mean you are going to be a good President!" WOOO HOOO!!!! GO LEN!!! His score? 27

Marie is up next... I know i have harped on Marie's weight loss this season... but even she shouldn't have worn this sexy all leg outfit... Watch this... I think the dance was dull and rigid. The judges will love it... Carrie wasn't a big fan... and neither did Len... Bruno told her that she peaked earlier in the night. Her score? 24

Mel and Maksim... bore me... let's see them dance... HOLY CRAP... what an outfit... TW said that she should get a 10 just for wearing that outfit. Welcome to a perfect score... and I bet the judges agree on that... they do!!!!

Jane Seymour is up... Dammit... I like Tony... I feel like he is spoiled to me... I have turned big time on her... blech... all the dancers are wearing paw print marks to honor the memory of Cheetah Girl Sabrina Bryan's departure... I don't see it on Jane... Get with the program SMUG FACE. Shit... she got a 26.

VOTE JANE OFF PLEASE.

Jennie and Derek are doing this really awesome dance and there was a move where Jennie spun Derek very fast and then pulled him in so softly.... very cool move and teh Tangentwoman and I loved the dance... Nice comeback Jennie! (I think Jennie just cheated on her husband...) She got a 28...

Cameron and Edyta are back... Another tame for Edyta outfit. Wow... That was awesome... what an amazazing ending... Great dance and judges agree with us... score? 27...

My prediction for going home? I am going with Jane... until she is actually booted. She also has the lowest score.