It's before the show starts and I am feeling a bit giddy since I watched an episode of Modern Family. That's a pretty funny show.
I also want to reaffirm my masculinity and remind everyuone of how awesome the Yankees are for winning the ALDS. The Angels are next and they make me the most nervous out of all the teams in the playoffs.
But I digress... and we are... LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEEEEEEE and tonight we four brand new dances never performed on DWTS -- the Country Two Step, Bolero, Charleston, and the Lambada! The new dances are not standard to the pros as well so it will be a challenge for them as well.
Chuck Liddell & Anna Trebunskaya is up first and they are dancing the Country Two Step and we are reminded that he used to work at a country bar so he should be good at this stuff... right? We shall see since he is allowed to lift Anna. The dance starts and we all smile at the silly costumes. There is a whole bunch of "messin' about" in the beginnning... and the dance quickly devolves into a goofy mess. The judges liked the lifts, but the "entertainment" value was there.... only. They are just scared to really criticize him. Sissies. Their scores were 6, 5, 6 for a total of 17.
Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas are up second and will be doing the Charleston. She has to get over her fears and stop being nervous. They visit a 1920's club. Where the hell are they? When they are there, there is no one else there. Duh. Nice camera work to start. It is all shot in black and white and I am strangely amazed by how well she starts, but by the middle, she starts to miss something.... and then finds it again. Her best one yet. Bruno loved it a lot. Carrie Ann loved it too. Len liked it a lot. Their scores are 9, 9, 10 for 28. What the F?
Natalie Coughlin & Alec Mazo are dancing the Bolero and Alex is going to push her. Alec is tough on her in the video even though he is going to give her really tough choreography if she wants it... bum bum bum. It's another sexy dance whcih she did really well last week. She has such lovely limbs and extensions. I think it was a nice dance. Carrie wasn't a fan. Len thought it was romantic and liked it a lot. Bruno was incoherent. Their scores were 8, 8, 8 for a 24.
Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff was a crybaby last week since he was so weak. So he gets a hug from Michael Irvin who says nice things to him in between his parole hearings. Aaron wants to bring out some gymnastics... uhhh... you write the jokes. ... so he gets a "pro" gymnast to help him out during his Lambada. He starts off with gymnastics and hits it perfectly. During the next few steps... he makes a lot of goofy faces and itis distracting. It's good though. It was good until the very last move and we aren't sure if they messed up or not. LEn thought it was a bit too erratic. Bruno thought the same thing. Carrie thought he wasn't manly enough. He "turned her off". I know why... Their scores were 6, 6, 6 for 18.
Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer are here to dance the Country Two Step. The whole video is about how "uncountry" Mark is. Lots of gags and then the kids arrive and we get to see a nice side of him. The dance is awkward at best... but then it kicks into gear... mostly because Lacey knows that she is the draw of the couple so she shocases herself a whole lot. The judges liked him, but noticed some missing footwork. Their scores are 8, 7, 7 for a 22.
Kelly Osbourne & Louis Van Amstel are up as the Hump Dance and the Charleston. We shall see if she can have any confidence. Kelly auditioned for Chicago and got the role, but they made the dancing weaker for her. ANother annoying selfdeprecating moment...e sp when she announced that she lost the role. The dance starts and she's already a couple of points behind Melissa since it was so well done. It was fun though. The dance done well is a fun dance. The judges loved her. Their scores were 8, 7, 8 for a total of 23.
Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough is here to dance the Lambada. Derek says that the Lambada has a lot of thrusting and gyrating. Then he deadpans with... "I have the best job in the world." Joanna wants to do the tough stuff to prove herself. They are passionate about over pet population so they volunteer. Silliness enues. Derek starts by taking off his shirt right away making them a pretty sexy couple. The dance is far sexier than Aaron Carter's version of it. It was just what I think Len wants. Raunchy and good. I was right. Len loved it and already chose it for the encore for tomorrow. Bruno is hysterically incoherent. Carrie loved it too. His scores are 9, 8, 9 for a total of 26.
Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson are dancing next and the video is insanely crazy as Donny goes crazy on film. This is interesting editting since he is so much fun so far. It all comes down to one thing. He's a perfectionist. They are dancing the Charleston. It's a lot of fun and I liked it a lot. I hope I can move as well as he does when I am his age... but it hurt to get the remote to fast forward through the commercials. Bruno thought he did well but could have been sharper. Their scores are 8, 8, 8 for a total of 24.
Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova are up next and I am bored of him. I really can't get passed not liking him in real life and Anna Demidova just can't choreograph yet for this show. She brings in Tony Dovolani to teach the Bolero since he is a world champion at the dance. I cannot be objective with him. Carrie likes him as a person but thought that it was posing too much. Len liked it a lot and Bruno did not. Thier scores were 5, 6, 5 for a total of 16.
Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower are channelling Ty Murray for lessons in how to be "country" for the Country Two Step. Chelsie has never done this before... so this should be interesting and comical. Will he dance at all? When he does. The dance is correct but it just seems boring until the end. All three judges agree that it was boring. Their scores are 5, 5, 6 for a total of 16.
Mya & Dmitry Chaplin will end the show with the Lambada. She is last on the floor and will she see the 10s again after last week? Lots of hype... She admits that Dmitry's choreography is complex and she is getting a bit too frisky and lippy. She gets involved in the choreography... that will be awesome or horrific. Uhhhh... that was phenomenal. Bruno and Carrie loved them. Will Len like it? Not sure... his comments were kind of assholy. Their scores are 10, 8, 10 for a total of 28.
Scores... Just a reminder!
Melissa Joan Hart & Mark Ballas -- 28
Mya & Dmitry Chaplin -- 28
Joanna Krupa & Derek Hough -- 26
Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson -- 24
Natalie Coughlin & Alec Mazo -- 24
Kelly Osbourne & Louis Van Amstel -- 23
Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer -- 22
Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff -- 18
Chuck Liddell & Anna Trebunskaya -- 17
Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova -- 16
Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower -- 16
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