Top Five Things You Think When Your Secretary is Yelling at a Customer Service Rep on the Phone that Doesn't Help Her
1. Holy crap... I better close my door because I don't want her brain to explode on my stuff.
2. Please don't use a racial slur... please please please... don't...
3. Watch out everyone... this is the worst we have ever seen her... even when she was 8.5 months pregnant.
4. Lots of threats... lots of phone slamming... I hope I don't get a fax... I may have my throat sliced.
5. *blink* *blink*
Top Five More Important News Stories Than the Terri Schiavo Story
1. The Minnesota School massacre
2. You know... that whole thing with Palestine and Israel... and returning some land... nothing too dramatic...but big.
3. The Kyrgzystan debate
4. Crowded House Drummer Commits Suicide
5. Iraq
Top Five Coolest Moments of the NCAA Tourney So Far
1. The last second shot of Michigan State/Kentucky's regulation. The OT's were just bonus.
2. The comebacks of Illinois and Louisville. More OT games.
3. Rutgers Women!!! Elite Eight baby!!!
4. Vindication for Louisville's crappy 4th seed.
5. One word... Vermont.
Top Five Possible Names For a Dog
1. Tucker
2. Pilar
3. Duncan
4. Smooches
5. W.
Top Five Ways to Set a Bad Example for Children on Easter
1. Pretend you can eat their fake fish -- causing Grandpa to yell at you and telling them to not do what Uncle Smelmooo does.
2. Walk around like a mummy and being the Tickle Monster... only tickling those that get in the Monster's way...
3. Inciting a riot with the ones that want to play rough.
4. Putting the candles out on the dinner table with your fingers... you just shouldn't do that with 5 year olds.
5. Putting your finger through the candle flames... that is also too dangerous for this crowd.
Top Five Best Children's Books I Read Growing Up
1. Superfudge
2. All the Heathcliff books... Garfield sucked.
3. Choose Your Own Adventure books
4. Guinness Book of World Records books... that chick was so tall.
5. The Three Investigators... I thought Jupiter Jones was the bomb.
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