Top Five Tuesday -- Oscar Style

Top Five Hotties
1. Salma Hayek
2. HIlary Swank
3. Emmy Rossum
4. Catalina Sandino Moreno
5. Halle Berry

Top Five Not Hotties
1. Star Jones - Recognize your limitations woman!
2. Scarlett Johansen - Tha hair piece!
3. Louis Gosset Jr.'s Wife - You showed belly... shame on you!
4. Natalie Portman - The Frumpmeister is in the howse!!!
5. Laura Linney - Who got loose with a pair of shears on your dress and dropped a bucket of mousse on your head?

Top Five Most High or Altered Actors
1. Antonio Banderas
2. Melanie Griffith
3. Johnny Depp
4. Scarlett Johansen - She has to be to expect me to believe that that hairpiece was serious.
5. All of the Counting Crows

Top Five Reasons Why Star Jones is the Host of the Red Carpet Show Even Though is Worse than Anyone Else in the History of Hosting Crappy Pre-Shows
1. She has naked pictures of an executive with little boys.
2. Everyone's Mom called E! to tell her to do it. (If you listened to all the guests... they smirked and were like... My Mom said to make sure to say hi to you...)
3. To show how dead the word BLING really is.
4. She bribed someone... with... NOT eating them.
5. I HAVE NO FRIGGING IDEA!!!! SHE IS HORRIBLE!

Top Five Oscar Moments
1. Chris Rock ripping Bush a new one.
2. Jeremy Irons saying... "I hope they missed."
3. Michael Myers saying ... "I liked it in Shrek 2 when Shrek farted in the mud" after two eloquent quotes.
4. Yo Yo Ma's beautiful playing over the "Who We Lost This Year" video package. Breathtaking.
5. I really hate to admit it... but Jamie Foxx's speech was nice.

Top Five Worst Moments
1. Anytime Renee Zellweger smiled... there is something wrong with that woman.
2. Sean Penn's garbled mess of a speech.
3. Even though he is my favorite, Johnny Depp is a train wreck in public events.
4. Penelope Cruz making me work to understand her...while Salma saved the day..even though she waxed on a bit too long while introducing the song.
5. He is an acting God... but Al Pacino looked like a homeless person so when he gave a lifetime achievement award... I really wanted him to be given a new, better fitting coat.