Happy Halloween

It's a classic and it's good.

Survivor Gabon -- Week Six...

We begin the day after the last Tribal Council and everyone at Fang is a depressed fool when Cyrstal drops a bunch of rice on the ground. Everyone gets mad at her in silence. They make some rice and Crystal refuses to eat because she wants to pout. You can tell that Matty and Ace hate Crystal... Ken hates that... That should be interesting... and with this editting, I would believe that Fang will be losing the Immunity Challenge.

We now head over to Kota and Dan is feeling on the outs. We get some insight into him as he is an insecure little kid who wants to be loved. Corrinne provides some very funny insight into him.

Wow... a Reward Challenge comes in at the 7th minute and that includes a set of commercials and credits. They will be playing simultaneous games of Keep Away. Whoever breaks the ball first wins... and they get a ton of food and are coptered out to a fun new location.

First round... Ace and Randy are the aggressors. Kota wins first when Ken throws like a little girl.

Second round... Bob and Sugar are the aggressors...Sugar doesn't do much and eventually Bob for Kota gets the second point.

Third round... Dan and Matty are aggressive and Kota shuts out Fang when Dan eventually makes Ace make a mistake.

Sugar is sent to Exile Island.... again... Fang is a bunch of whiny bitches.

The reward is to eat at the edge of a cliff and the high definition shots make it look so incredibly beautiful. Who am I kidding? The high definition shots make the loser's camp look awesome. They are surprised at the challenge with letters from home and everyone turns into a real mushy mess... especially Bob who whines and wails... That's insane...

Wow... Immunity Challenge already? Fascinating. Good news and bad news... both tribes are going to Tribal Council tonight.... so what are they competing for? Immunity individually... There is ANOTHER twist that will be revelaed after the challenge. They are all competing in log rolls

Round 1 (Ace vs Dan) - (Charlie vs Crystal) -- (Marcus vs Matty) -- (Susie vs Randy) -- (Kenny vs Sugar) -- (Bob vs Corrinne)

Round 2 (Charlie vs Ace) -- (Marcus vs Randy) -- (Sugar vs Bob)

Final Round (Ace vs Marcus vs Sugar)

Marcus wins... and the twist is written for Marcus to read... who assigns immunity for one member of the other tribe. He gives it to Sugar.

LOTS OF TALK ABOUT WHO THEY (EACH TRIBE) SHOULD VOTE OFF.....................

Fang Tribal Council -- Jeff continues to be a nosy little bitch and judges too many people too quickly... (TW hates Matty... welcome to the fold TW... welcome to the fold.) The tribe hates each other especially the verbal berating of Crystal. There is only one redeeming person on the whole tribe... Sugar... Ken is a bit goofy too... but he seems fine enough. It's time to count the votes.

Ace
Crystal
Ace
Crystal
Ace -- Bye bye and well done Sugar...

Kota Tribal Council -- As we go into Tribal Council, we don't know who is going home... Susie... Dan ... or Bob... Randy, Corrine, Charlie and Marcus love their alliance and can't decide who they are voting for... on the 21st day of this game.

Dan
Susie
Dan
Susie
Dan
Susie
Dan

Tucker's Nuts
1. Charlie Herschel (1)
5. Susie Smith (9)
6. Matty Whitmore (12)
7. Randy Bailey (13)
8. Bob Crowley (16)
9. Jessica Kiper (17)
3. Jacque Berg (5) -- Booted Week Three
2. Paloma Soto-Castillo (4) -- Booted Week Two
4. Michelle Chase (8) -- Booted Week One

Assshfault Warriors
1. Ken Hoang (2)
3. Corinne Kaplan (6)
7. Crystal Cox (14)
8. Marcus Lehman (15)
2. Dan Kay (3) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!
4. Ace Gordon (7)-- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!
5. Kelly Czarnecki(10)-- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!!
6. Danny Brown aka GC (11) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
9. Gillian Larson(18) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!

Speaking of Schlock Fests

We are off to see Toxic Avenger: The Musical tonight with some good friends.

I am uber excited.

Horror Movie Recommendations Froma Guy Who Watches Way Too Many of Them

*REPRINT FROM LAST YEAR -- THEY STILL HOLD UP!*

Halloween is here and I have to admit that I love this holiday. I don't necessarily love the dressng up part or the candy part or the trick or treating part, but I love a whole bunch of other things.

I love that it means that it gets darker earlier... I love that it represents the smell of dead leaves on the ground that crunch when you walk on them. I love that it represents putting on a light jacket and visiting a scare fest someplace in a local town where you voluntarilly allow yourself to be spooked and you pay for it!

I guess what I am trying to say is that I love the months of October and November. The pumpkins and leaves of the same color make me smile and remind me of how awesome and beautiful Mother Nature is.

Who am I kidding... I really love it because it gives me a damn fine excuse to pull out some of my favorite horror movies. I got some wacky ones that I love too... as I have seen so many of them. I used to work in a video store on 10 hour shifts where we would get 5 or 6 customers a day. I watched everything I could in that store.

I decided to compile a list of some classic and not so classic horror movies that you might want to pick up this weekend from your local Blockbuster. Good luck if you are a Netflixer... I tried getting a few..but they are all of a sudden on the "Short Wait" list.

Legitimate Horror Movies

1. Fright Night -- The film stars Roddy McDowall as an Elvira type movie host who befriends a kid who has a vampire move into his neighborhood. The vampire is played by Chris Sarandon -- the evil Prince in the Princess Bride. the sequel is just as much fun, but the original is a cult classic. It is scary... and just fun.

2. The Shining -- Stanley Kubrick and Jack Nicholson combine to deviate from Stephen King's original book but create a movie that still makes me jump every time I see it. How can you not be scared every time those little girls ride the Big Wheels down the hallways that fill up with blood? Gets me every time...I will only watch this movie in the daytime.

3. Nightmare on Elm Street -- The first one is truly a scary flick before Freddy became a national icon and favorite son of sorts. I refused to listen to my walkman and lie on my bed for almost two years after watching this film. Not good... not good... heck... in case you didn't know... Johnny Depp is in the original. Also... little known trivia... Kevin Bacon gets wasted in the first Friday the 13th.

Goofy Horror Movies

1. Dead Alive -- This is one of the original films that Peter Jackson of Lord of the Rings fame made in his home country of New Zealand. The cinematography is horrible because it was made for nothing, but you can see the sense of humor Jackson had when he made a movie about a "zombie virus" going around town and the kid that tries to keep all the zombies happy and living in his mom's house. The climax involves PUDDLES of blood but it is all cartoonish. Trust me... you can really see Jackson's genius in this early flick.

2. Evil Dead 2 -- Sam Raimi of Spider Man and Dark Man directorial fame directed the first one (truly scary and intense) and this second one with a budget. It is still a scary movie at parts but he allowed his buddy Bruce Campbell to show his goofy side as well. The whole three movie series is a hoot. The third one is entitled Army of Darkness and is more of a comedy.

3. Shocker -- Yeah... that's Skinner from X-Files who plays a psychotic killer that can go through power lines and kill whomever he wants. Yeah... Wes Craven directed it and yeah... it is supposeded to be scary... and yeah.. .it isn't... it is funnier than it should be... but it will make you jump a couple of times... not always at the plot but sometimes because of Peter Berg's horrible acting.

SCHLOCK FESTS

If you want to just watch glorified crap for Halloween, I recommend watching anything by Troma Films, Sorority Babes in the SLime Bowl A Rama or Slumber Party Massacre II (starring Crystal Bernard of the Wings)

I have so many other movies I could recommend if you want me to...

What is your favorite legitimate horror movie and fun horror movie? I want to hear someone say People Under the Stairs. Classic Misguided Wes Craven.

Dancing With The Stars Week 6 Boot Episode

Let's review. Someone hurt themselves. Someone had surgery and Edyta is in there in their place. We had a new judge and a new leader.

LIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Samantha looks lovely and I really like her red dress... and the contestants are wearing the stupid Hip Hop outfits. Stupid... but the purpose is that they are going to the group Hip Hop dance again. The best part of the dance is that Susan Lucci just loooks incredibly uncomfortable... and I am game with that... big time...

Since we are all dumb and can't remember the scores... let's get to saving the first two couples.

First saved are Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer (They deserved to be saved this week.)
Second saved is... Cody Linley & Julianne Hough (But don't forget... Julianne had surgery today so Edyta will be joining him from now on.

Dammit.. the kid's dancing competition is back and I hate that sooooo much. That's right Danielle... I HATE THEM!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Fast forward....

Missy Elliott and the Pussycat Dolls are performing and I am surprisingly annoyed and intrigued. The Pussycat Dolls intrigue me because they dance all over the place in super sexy outfits making them sex objects... yet sing about strong female issues like taking control of their relationships by kicking their men to the curb. Ergh.

EDYTA IS ON THE TELEVISION and Cody is already putting his goofy little kiddie hands all over her. BACK OFF CODY! Cody informs us that JH is home and recovering.

It's time to save another couple! WHO WILL IT BE?!?!?!?!?!?

Thirdly saved a doodle... Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson (That makes me sooo happy.)

Michael Flatley is dancing... and I am impressed... as I always am... not enough to pay for a ticket... but intrigued by him.

We now arrive at our first and possibly last montage. We get a look at how each of them have to be more than physically ready to handle this... they need to be MENTALLY ready! *YAWN*

It's time to save two more couples.

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough are saved.

Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke are also saved...

Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas and Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani are the last two (not necessarily the bottom two) and will be revealed after the commercial!

The couple who was asked to leave was Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas

As much fun as she was... it really was time for her to go.

Dancing With The Stars -- Week 6 -- Phew.

We are reminded that TOni and Alec were eliminated last week and Brooke Burke has apparently injured herself this week. WHAT THE HEEL? (Get it? Heel. Oh screw you.)

We are... LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVEEE and the parade of stars comes down as they all jiggle at the camera and we see that Len isn't around and Michael Flatley looks dapper and is heralded as being a dancing superstar. He isn't allowed to say anything. They are all going to do their individual dances and then we are all going to be doing an "old school hip hop."

Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke dance first and I am reminded of how cliche andplain he is. They are now dancing the Viennese Waltz and I swear that with Maurice's speech inflection, I swear he says Vietnamese Waltz. They get some great music. His dance was elegant and nice and .... safe. Now... we get to hear what Flatley sounds like. The judges thought that there was something missing and I would agree. -- (Scores 7, 7, 7 - for a total of 21) Maurice says "Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner" every week. Jackass.

FYI -- I like Samantha's dress and look tonight. It's not her standard solid color dress

Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer dance second and we were reminded of how much Lacey made it about herself last week. We also hear again that Lance feels inadequate about his N'Sync days when they all told him how band he danced. Joey FATONE and another unknown band member give him support and Lance inadvertently says something about having a "Man to Man" with Joey Fatone and I giggle like a 3 year old... He's gay? Get it? Screw you. I am then giggling as he comes running out in a pinkish outfit to TOOTIE FRUITIE. Get it? He's gay. Screw you. I am enjoying the dance. Everyone loves his SMOKIN' dance. -- (Scores 9, 9, 9 - for a total of 27)

Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani is third and I am so glad that she was in the bottom two last week. That makes me so happy since I think she's a boring drip and really needs to go home. Tony is trying to loosen her up so they go to a Mambo club. Blech... I like Tony and I wish that he wouldn't get these women for partners. She dances the Mambo and just plain looks awkward. Carrie Ann loves her... huh? Bruno sees a firey side and thinks her timing is horrible. WOO HOO! Flatley continues to suck up even though he thinks her timing was also off. -- (Scores 8, 8, 7 - for a total of 23)

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough dances at the hump and Burke hurt her ankle. They are in a bind as he tries to protect her foot and push her with less time to practice. They come out to dance and they are in very white outfits as Derek wears his trademark white undershirt and something over it. They are dancing my least favorite dance... the Rumba. As always... Broooke to me is lovely and I am sure that my friend LA will find a reason to be a hater (HI LA! I Hope the Phillies win... just for you!) Flatley loves him and Carrie Ann hated her. Bruno was kind of eh about her. -- (Scores 8, 10, 8 - for a total of 26)

Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas is the first dance in the second half of the night and they look like a pair of bright bananas. This is explained when it is revealed that they are dancing a Cha Cha Cha. Corky reminds us that Cloris is tough to dance with since she doesn't listen so Corky calls upin her husband to help out. The dance starts out with a lot of flair and shenanigans... but eventually finds it's way into a a dance. Bruno said "You have to be the only person in the world who is able to sell such nonsense and people buy it." That was funny. Carrie gets bitchy and says... "We lost Toni Braxton for this and it kind of makes me sad." That was mean and appropriate. -- (Scores 5, 5, 5 - for a total of 15)

Cody Linley & Julianne Hough are up second to last and we are reminded that Julianne was taken to the hospital last week from being... sick. She braves it ou and teaches the 12 year old weirdo how to dance the Samba. He gets into a character and uses some stereotypes that annoy me. When it's time for the dance, we see that Julianne has returned to Hot Julianne mode and not her goofy character outfits. They are one of the better dancing teams, but TW and I agree that something was slightly off. Carrie loved it. Bruno is on the... (you know.) Flatley is right down the middle. Apparently she has endometriosis and is getting her appendix removed by surgery tomorrow. Cody will have Edyta from now on if they make it through to next week. -- (Scores 8, 8, 7 - for a total of 23)

WOOOO HOOOO... I get some Edyta!.... I hope.

Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson dance the Rumba this week. Their video montage was boring... but they are apparently going to tell a story with their dance. Lover's quarrel... make up... love forever... I think is the theme... My only thought is that Warren seemed to do very little during the dance while Kym was in a skimpy skimpy outfit the whole dance. Flatley was entertained but thought there could have been more dancing. Carrie and Bruno thought it was fine, but there were some mistakes. -- (Scores 8, 9, 8 - for a total of 25)

Old School Hip Hop Group Dance!

We get an awkward and dumb video montage as everyuone plays out stereotypes and it annoys me. The group dance starts and each pair gets to be in the spotlight for a second or two. One of the problems while I watch this is that I can't telll a lot of the apart because the outfits and gats and hoods are so absurd. Of everyone... Lacey and Derek are the best. The whole thing was far less of a train wreck than I thought it would be.

Just to remind you... of tonight's scores...

Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer -- 27
Brooke Burke & Derek Hough -- 26
Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson -- 25
Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani -- 23
Cody Linley & Julianne Hough -- 23
Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke -- 21
Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas -- 15

Book 69 of 52 -- Kathy Reichs' Grave Secrets

The book Grave Secrets is a great novel for people who are into hard core science.

If you love adventure with a little twist this book is yours for the taking.

The book is about the work done by real life anthropologist, Dr. Temperance Brennan, who gets sent to Guatemala City with a team form FAFG to do some work on remains found in Paraiso.

The remains are from a massacre killing, and somebody obviously doesn't want anything to be found because two members from Dr. Brennan's team Carlos and Molly is driven off the road and shot to kill.

Carlos died on the spot; however Molly survives just be taken to the hospital in a coma like state AND just then Dr. Brennan gets put on another case that's baffling law enforcement in Guatemala.

Sergeant-Detective Galiano had talked to FAFG about getting Dr. Brennan to help him with the case about three different missing girls presumed dead.

To which Detective Galiano thought one might be in the sewer drainage.

As the story continues the spark between Galiano and Dr. Brennan grows as does the mystery between the Paraiso grave and the missing girls.

This story is very interesting but is dry making it clear that the book is suited for people who are into science and law enforcement.

RU Football Finally Shows Up

The rest of the season is a big stretch, but this game was worth it.

I just wish I could have watched it.

Bran Muffins

The couple were 85 years old, and had been married for sixty years. Though they were far from rich, they managed to get by because they watched their pennies.

Though not young, they were both in very good health, largely due to the wife's insistence on healthy foods and exercise for the last decade.

One day, their good health didn't help when they went on a rare vacation and their plane crashed, sending them off to Heaven.

They reached the pearly gates, and St. Peter escorted them inside. He took them to a beautiful mansion, furnished in gold and fine silks, with a fully stocked kitchen and a waterfall in the master bath. A maid could be seen hanging their favorite clothes in the closet.

They gasped in astonishment when he said, 'Welcome to Heaven. This will be your home now.'

The old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. 'Why, nothing,' Peter replied, 'remember, this is your reward in Heaven.'

The old man looked out the window and right there he saw a championship golf course, finer and more beautiful than any ever built on Earth.

'What are the greens fees?,' grumbled the old man.

'This is heaven,' St. Peter replied. 'You can play for free, every day.'

Next they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch, with every imaginable cuisine laid out before them, from seafood to steaks to exotic deserts, free flowing beverages.

'Don't even ask,' said St. Peter to the man. This is Heaven, it is all free for you to enjoy.'

The old man looked around and glanced nervously at his wife.

'Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol foods, and the decaffeinated tea?,' he asked.

'That's the best part,' St. Peter replied. 'You can eat and drink as much as you like of whatever you like, and you will never get fat or sick. This is Heaven!'

The old man pushed, 'No gym to work out at?'

'Not unless you want to,' was the answer.

'No testing my sugar or blood pressure or...'

'Never again. All you do here is enjoy yourself.'

The old man glared at his wife and said, 'You and your bran muffins. We could have been here ten years ago!'

Survivor Week Five -- Gabon: Earth's Last Eden...Oooohhhhh

Previously... there was lots of backstabbing and they end the recap with a statement about ... can Ace and Sugar survive on the outskirts.

Back at Tribal Council, Ace whines and schemes... everyone complains and then Matty and Ace find each other and start to scheme about a new alliance. They agree that it will be Matty, Ace, Sugar, and Kenny to the end and they swear on family and girlfriend's lives... oof...

Wow... we are already on Day 16. Kota is eating and everyone realizes that Dan is eating way more than anyone else. Everyone is pissed ... into the camera... and not to his face. On Fang, they have a rice shortage and a win shortage. It's amazing... how can people be so frigging stupid.

This season has been about the animals and it is fantastic that it is shot in HD. During an interview with Ace, an elephant appears. So cool.

Reward Challenge! Each tribe will tethered to a snake and run in a circle to catch the other tribe... a la a challenge with Tom and Ian in a former season, but that was in the water. Liabilities can untether and the rest of the tribe will literally pick up the weight.

Fang was about to get caught and they dropped the dead weight... leaving just Matty and Ace versus five other guys. There's no way they will win... and Kota catches them. Kota won a bunch of breakfasty desserty stuff. Fang and Crystal start crying and Randy mocks them.

They send Sugar to Exile Island again. She's actually upset about this because she feels guilty for eating all the fruit while her tribemates are suffering back at the camp.

Middle of the episode rant while people learn to hate like and hate each other. What is the problem with Jeff Probst this season - is he supposed to be the host, or the star ? In Gabon, he is playing the role of the spoiler by talking too much. Being a narrator is one thing, but, revealing game-changing information to the audience (and possibly the players) is a bad thing. Viewers want to see and hear the contestants as they influence the events that contribute to the flow of the game.

We come back from commercial with Randy and Bob having caught a turtle... a huge turtle... They chop it up and eat it. Guess who is eating the most? Dan ... and he needs to chill. Seriously.

Immunity Challenge! Sugar returns. Each team will be tied up in pairs and they have to run in pairs in order into the jungle to get one of three pairs of a flag pole. First team to construct a flag pole wins. The rub is that the first set of parts are the easiest to get. After the first set and Jeff yelling at Fang meanly, Kota is first. After the second set, Kota has a decent lead, because Ace and Crystal make up some time. AFter the third set, Fang's Matty & Kenny and Kota's Dan & Marcus, they are bascially in a dead heat when it comes time to set up the flag pole.

Here's why Fang loses all the time. Kota is a TEAM and Ace bullies everyone from Fang away. Let's not forget the first rule for the first half of Survivor folks. Team work rules. It has been on forever. Frigging idiots like Ace just plain piss me off.

After some bickering, negotiating, and whining... we -- the viewer -- think that it comes down to one of three people. Sugar or Kelly or Ace.

The tribemates all admit that they have no teamwork skills and all operate as individuals. We also get a very viscious Tribal Council where Kelly shoots venom at Crystal for crying earlier... Crystal responds... Ace is an asshole and Kelly is a bitch. Matty, Kenny, and Sugar... SOMEHOW remain above it all. I think the other ones were just so horrible... that they looked nice.

Jeff "tallies" the votes and before doing so, he asks about whether or not somone wants to play the Hidden Immunity Idol. Sugar doesn't.

Kelly
Crystal
Kelly
Kelly
Kelly

Thank goodness... and next week... each tribe will vote someone out.

Tucker's Nuts
1. Charlie Herschel(1)
5. Susie Smith(9)
6. Matty Whitmore(12)
7. Randy Bailey(13)
8. Bob Crowley(16)
9. Jessica Kiper(17)
3. Jacque Berg(5) -- Booted Week Three
2. Paloma Soto-Castillo(4) -- Booted Week Two
4. Michelle Chase(8) -- Booted Week One

Assshfault Warriors
1. Ken Hoang (2)
2. Dan Kay (3)
3. Corinne Kaplan (6)
4. Ace Gordon (7)
7. Crystal Cox(14)
8. Marcus Lehman(15)
5. Kelly Czarnecki(10)-- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!!
6. Danny Brown aka GC (11) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
9. Gillian Larson(18) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!

Happy Mole Day

For those of you that are nerds like me...

Remember Chemistry... and what a mole is?

10 to the 23 power or something?

Well...Today is 10-23... International MOLE Day.

Kick ass... I love moles...

Book 68 of 52 -- Kathy Reichs' Fatal Voyage

Having finished FATAL VOYAGE, all i could think of was how had I gone so long without discovering this author?

Great characters, especially Tempe Brennan who is constantly making smart remarks or thinking smart remarks and keeping them to herself.

The story is told in first person from the point of view of Temperance, who is called in to help identify the bodies of people who died in a plane crash.

Without giving too much away, Brennan comes across some bones that don't belong to any of the crash victims and the plot takes off from there. We get a secret society, cover ups from high ranking officials and international implications. Kathy Reichs keeps the plot moving nicely although some of the forensic information was a little too deep for my brain cells to process.

Good plot, great characters and fun to read.

Dancing With the Stars Week Five RESULTS!!!!

We are down to eight couples and after tonight's DRAMATIC conclusion, we will be down to seven. It is important to note that ABC is completely milking their number one rated show on television by having a special ONE hour recap episode before this episode. Ergh... we didn't watch it... and read over my review online... since that is funnier and better.

Soooo...........LLLLLLLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

The judges are having a completely uncontrived, not prepared sitting around reviewing each of the dances. This is just not the way to handle things... It is another way of doing what they just did for the hour before that.

We learn that Len's schedule next week is pretty rough so Michael Flatley will fill in his seat for next week. Before he goes... Len is able to let us know that Cody and Julliane perform the encore dance. Still fun in my book.

I am also reminded that I hate the little children dancing... please god... don't have that again... OH CRAP... Tom Bergeron announced that they are doing it again tonight... THANK GOD FOR THE FAST FORWARD BUTTON.

Before we get too crazy... and start fast forwarding... we have the Brian Setzer Orchestra and I am very pleased...

It's time to get some results -- let's find out the first two saved... shall we?

1. Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson
2. Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas

Neither of those two couples are in the bottom two... so Cloris apparently got a TON of votes.

Fast forward... If this was a facebook status for me... it wo uld read, "Smelmooo hates kids with dancing shoes."

We get to see them talking about how long and how much work is going into the special Macy's special dance ... It is a celebration of Macy's 150th anniversary and the stage is pretty big. And it was an awesome trip through the years of dancing... Well done special dance people that love themselves. P.S. Breakdancers rule.

None of the six couples remaining have ever been in the bottom two... so we get another crappy montage where they all talk some trash about each other.

More safe people?

3. Cody Linley & Julianne Hough
4. Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke

For some drama... let's add some commercials where I am reminded of the fragility of life as some cops in NYC were gunned down in a subway.

5. Brooke Burke & Derek Hough
6. Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer

The bottom two are Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo and Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani

I don't care which one goes home, but I really hope it's Susan.

Let's say good bye to... Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo

Way to Go Ellen!

Look what TW picked up on yesterday's Ellen.


OOPS!!!!

Dancing With the Stars Week 5

Hey kids... before we begin... I feel that it is necessary to bring up that we just saw the second to last episode of one of the greatest shows on television... Mad Men. I will be sad when it ends in six days... It is such a spectacular show.

I also just heard that Mike Nolan was fired from the 49ers in such a disgraceful way... I am sick to my stomach for him (nothing against Mike SIngletary...) because of the crap way that the owners treated him.

And with that... we start the episode a bit late on DVR!!!!!!!!!!! LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Cloris was in the bottom two... and we get four new dances... West Coast Swing, Jitterbug, Salsa, and Hustle.

The stars make their way down and Brooke Burke evokes a reaction from me... with her pony tails. My wife agrees with me... so it must be alright.... right?

Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer come in first and they are happy with their breakthrough last week. Lance is feeling inadequate because everyone used to tell him that he was a bad dancer... so now... he has to be confident with the West Coast Swing... Lacey's dad was a world champion in it. It's a bit of a risque dance and of course Lacey brings it. It is Lacey's most normal outfit and it is actually appropriate. Uh oh! Lance falls down and gets up right away. Good for Lance as they have a very strong ending. Len thought that Lacey needs to show off the star. Bruno agreed. Carrie Ann was somewhat in agreement. This is the first time that a professional has taken such a beating. Interesting. -- (Scores 7, 7, 7 - for a total of 21)

Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo dance second. She was on Ellen today and wore an outfit that was more than interesting. She is also dancing the West Coast Swing and I feel pretty bored by her again. I am in shock because Alex takes Toni and LIFTS her and then swings her around about 5 times. TW and I are incredulous. It was an interesting dance and I am just not sure about this one. Bruno, Carrie, and Len are all "Eh..." -- (Scores 7, 7, 8 - for a total of 22)

TW and I can't figure out if Samantha Harris' hair dressers actually hate her or not.

Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani dances third and I am surprised to hear that I am happy that she hurt herself... with some broken bones in her foot. She is going to dance the Hustle and after rehearsing a bunch, she whines about her ankle and goes to the doctor and gets an MRI. SHE'S GOING TO DANCE THROUGH THE PAIN THROUGH DOCTOR'S ORDERS!!!! She's gotta be on drugs as she has an even vacanter smile than before. Carrie was mediocre. Len was not wowed. Bruno wasn't fond of it. -- (Scores 7,7,8 - for a total of 22)

Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson disappointed everyone last week and he comes in ready and he's starting to drag a bit. Kym pushes him and he is physically back into the dancing again. They come out to the worst singing ever... through a horrible rendition of Funky Town and I think I really like the dance. I had a great time and it better score well. Len loved it. Bruno loved it. -- (Scores 8, 8, 9 - for a total of 25)

Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas are going to dance the Salsa. Cloris' piece is all about her going out and meeting people on the streets. She has a new lease on life dancing the Salsa in practice and I can't imagine that this is going to be good at all. I was right... it just wasn't goood at all... and Corky has a lot of pauses in there so that there is less substance. Bruno complimented I think. Carrie is so weird about it as well. -- (Scores 7,7,7 - for a total of 21)

Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke also dances the Salsa. He's gotta follow crowd favorite Cloris Leachman... and last week he was brought back to reality with his really crappy score last week. They are obviously out of sync because of this and Cheryl doesn't even feel comfortable with the dance herself and we get to see a lot of yelling and irritation with each other. That's some good tension. Now ... after watching that... they gotta dance together. I am not sure if it is the music or the fact that I am not sure what the dance is, but it doesn't really do anything for me until the end... which was cool. Carrie loved it and did some drama herself with a hug. Len was complimentary as was Bruno. -- (Scores 9,9,9 - for a total of 27)

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough are the first of two people to dance the Jitterbug. Derek has never danced the Jitterbug. They rely on the internet to give them pointers. Really? They look silly and it is a great dance. How did her boobs not fall out of that shirt? Len thinks that she was great. Bruno thought it was glorious. Carrie thought it was perfect. -- (Scores 10, 9, 10 - for a total of 29)

Cody Linley & Julianne Hough are up last and Julianne's outfit/wig/makeup is the absolute worst. In a funny bit. Julianne and Cody go spy on her brother and Brooke. Cody talks some trash and I am bored by him... he's 11. Their dance is full of tricks and it is a bunch of fun. Bruno liked it a lot as did Len and Carrie. -- (Scores 10, 9, 9 - for a total of 28)

Next week, they get to dance a dance and then... a group dance (an old school hip hop routine.... uh oh.)

Just to remind you... of tonight's scores...

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough -- 29
Cody Linley & Julianne Hough -- 28
Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke -- 27
Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson -- 25
Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo -- 22
Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani -- 22
Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer -- 21
Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas -- 21

Book 67 of 52 -- Kathy Reichs' Deadly Decisions

Forensic anthropologist Tempe Brennan gets involved in the killings that occur when rivalling motor gangs start killing each other's members in Montreal in order to get hold of the profitable drug trade in the city.

She uses all her forensic skills to determine who the victims are and who killed them.

Meanwhile her 19 year old nephew Kit is staying at her place and his obsession with Harley Davidsons gets him in contact with some of the most dangerous figures of the gangs.

The descriptions of the forensic work are revealing and realistic, which is no wonder when one considers that Kathy Reichs is a forensic anthropologist herself.

However, the descriptions of all the rivalling motorclubs and their connections are tedious and every now and then I lost track who was a member of which motor club and which motor club had a feud with which other motor club.

Stuttering ... (Thanks Chris)

A teacher is explaining biology to her 4th grade students. 'Human Beings are the only animals that stutter,' she says.

A little girl raises her hand. 'I had a kitty-cat who stuttered.'

The teacher, knowing how precious some of these stories could become, asked the girl to describe the incident.

'Well', she began, 'I was in the back yard with my kitty and the Rottweiler that lives next door got a running start and before we knew it, he jumped over the fence into our yard!'

'That must've been scary,' said the teacher.

'It sure was,' said the little girl. 'My kitty raised his back, went Sssss, Sssss, Sssss' and before he could say 'Shit,' the Rottweiler ate him!

The teacher wet her pants laughing.

That Was Just Fun

Thank you Rutgers

Survivor Gabon -- Week Four

So... before we begin... I am feeling really punchy right now since I have been out and about so frigging much...

I also abhor my next door neighbor who is sitting outside on his front steps in the dark angrily yelling at people saying this: "Go ahead pal. Throw it on the ground while I am watching. I will have you on nine counts of littering pal. And I already have your license plate number. Go ahead pal."

Previously... on... Survivor....damn... animals are pretty in High Definition. Fang is horrible and they were dumb and voted out a strong woman over a weak woman. Der.

We are now back from Tribal Council and they are eating and Ace realizes that he's in a very bad spot. Too bad since I am not a big fan of Ace... but he and we are all happy to see Sugar joining the tribe as the replacement for Jacque who was voted off the island. Everyone expresses happiness and displeasure with everything.

We are back now with Kota and they caught some fish... and they think one of the fish gives off electric charges. How frigging cool is that?

When then shift to Matty walking pretty close to camp and he spots an elephant... and it's pretty cool as he gets everyone to go watch it. This is when HD is frigging awesome. It's awesome and I am sitting on my damn couch. That's the kind of stuff that makes me want to be on a show like this... and then we get some speeches from players who loved it. awesome and boring at the same time.

It's time for the Reward Challenge and there is no water to be seen. Kota is surprised that Jacque was voted out.

They have large piles of fruit to throw throw holes while the other tribes will try to whack the fruit out of the air. Whoever gets the most fruit through the holes wins a pretty cool herb garden. This whole show is about GC being a stinking quitter and his efforts in this show are pathetic... For what it's worth... Ace is awesome in this show.

Time to weigh the fruit... and Fang is up first. 16 pounds of fruit. Kota is up second. 18 pounds. Fang loses again... even with the effort. Sugar is being sent to Exile Island... and Dan.. being the nice dope that he is tries to explain the reason they sent her there... heh?

Kota is at camp and they are bragging about their food and the likes. Dan then starts talking a lot of shit in the camp and people start to see how annoyingly annoying he is while Susie is staying so far under the radar.

Sugar is on Exile Island now and I am really beginning to love her. Her personality is fun and I think... that as of today's editting... I would hang out with her.

We come back to Fang and Crystal and GC start to yell at each other and get on each other's nerves. GC then complains about how hard it is... (see? Quitting theme.)

Out of nowhere... GC gets into the boat... paddles away ... and no one can find him for the Immunity Challenge. He appears at the last possible second before they have to leave.

For the challenge... the tribes are throwing these big huge hollowwy balls down a hill. The other tribes have a defender who is blindfolded with another person yelling at them where to go. The balls land in slots ... like in ... Plinko from Price is Right.

The score is incredibly close at the end and Randy pulls a brilliant move by yelling at Ace... who stupidly listens to him instead of the female caller Sugar. Jeff abuses the shit out of Fang and TW and I disagree at the appropriateness of it... I think it's right and she's all girlie and is upset.

GC starts talking about quitting and everyone starts planning.

In fun times... Crystal goes through SUgar's bag and finds the Hidden Immunity idol. That seems just plain wrong and awesome at the same time... everyone switches over from GC to Sugar.

At Tribal Council, it comes out that people are worried about Sugar having the Hidden Immunity Idol and that GC is a quitter face who is whiny. These people make very little sense to me because they are all so frigging disjointed and weird that I can't figure any of them out.

Jeff tallies the votes.

GC
GC
Kelly
GC
GC

Phew! Not my player!

Tucker's Nuts
1. Charlie Herschel(1)
5. Susie Smith(9)
6. Matty Whitmore(12)
7. Randy Bailey(13)
8. Bob Crowley(16)
9. Jessica Kiper(17)
3. Jacque Berg(5) -- Booted Week Three
2. Paloma Soto-Castillo(4) -- Booted Week Two
4. Michelle Chase(8) -- Booted Week One

Assshfault Warriors
1. Ken Hoang (2)
2. Dan Kay (3)
3. Corinne Kaplan (6)
4. Ace Gordon (7)
5. Kelly Czarnecki(10)
7. Crystal Cox(14)
8. Marcus Lehman(15)
6. Danny Brown aka GC (11) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
9. Gillian Larson(18) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!

This Should Be Interesting

Roy + Roy instead of Roy vs. Roy.

Book 66 of 52 -- Kathy Reichs' Death du Jour

I really wanted to like this series and this second one has left me still uncertain as to whether or not I care to continue discovering more about this character -- especially since I adore the television show.

There is just too much going on.

I must say, I would rate this higher if the woman, Tempe, was even halfway close to human because the things she does and survives are incredible.

I'd have collapsed after page 10 and it kind of defies belief that any one person could be involved in so many different things all over the country and actually between TWO countries as well (Canada and USA) and she has more friendly experts and backups that she can call at a moment's notice than any other character!!

I don't like when she leaves things hanging through the book, for example about the nun/saint.

She knew something on page 20 or so that she could have just stated.

Also way too much bug detail, I don't care about forensics THAT MUCH.

I'll try one more.

Recommended with reservations because her details are a bit much, but the writing is still crisp and fascinating.

Dancing With the Stars, Week Four Results!

Before we even begin... how can it NOT be Rocco going home? Seriously.

Also before we begin... I am NOT going to ever really acknowledge the kid ballroom dancer competitions. They are creepy looking and they all sadly remind me of Jon Benet Ramsey... It's just plain wrong.

Also Also before we begin... I was at meetings all day and I love coming home to the fact that they Rays are kicking the Sox's ass again.

We are now officially LIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEE and no one was hurt (MMT is a sissy).

Samantha has never looked so down to earth and normal. I am digging the regular girl look. Thank you Samantha... especially after the night of excess during Tangoes and Sambas.

We now get to hear what the judges think will be the Spotlight dance for this week. They choose Lance and lacey and I am reminded that I am not a Lacey fan... at all.

YAY!!! Video Montage! Since it's an Election year... they are actually running some funny negative advertising pieces with the first one coming from Brooke Burke bashing Cody Linley. I hope there are more of the them. (8/10)

The first special guest are a bunch of Flamenco dancers who are all in the best physical shape possible and are taunting me with that fact. Bastards... I like my cheese.

After a review of the standings and yet another reminder that they are actually going to tell us the BOTTOM TWO this week, we get the first saved couple.

Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani are saved first. Damn you America... couldn't you have at least put them in the bottom two?

Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer are saved second and I am just filled with a croisant full of EH.

The first couple to be announced in the bottom two are Rocco DiSpirito & Karina Smirnof.

The next negative campaign ad is from the "Rest of the Cast" against Hot Chicks Who Can Dance (Brooke Burke). Even funnier than the first one. (9/10)

Maurice Greene attack ad... by Lance Bass (I give it a 4/10)

Little children dance and we FF. We get scores and they get interviewed and Samantha is even nervous by the little kids.

Lance Bass attack ad by Toni Braxton (Eh... 3/10)

Some young hip guy named Neo sings... I am older and I have no idea who this fella is. Argh...

Toni Braxton is attacked by Rocco Dispirito (5/10).

Next week they are introducing four brand new dances that have never been danced before. Hustle, West Coast Swing, Jitterbug, and Salsa.

Cloris Leachman attacks Susan Lucci... and I am now upset that I asked for more of these...

The next couple safe is... Brooke Burke & Derek Hough
Joining them are... Cody Linley & Julianne Hough
ALso coming back next week...Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo
Also saved by your votes... Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson
Also safe to dance again are... Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke

Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas join Rocco DiSpirito & Karina Smirnof in the final two...

Warren Sapp is attacked and I giggle... Let's go to commercial to see who will be sponsoring the final boot. The drama is here and we get some dramatic music....

I was right... pretty anti-climatic.

Bye Bye Rocco.

Dancing With the Stars -- Week Four!

LLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEE

Don't forget that no one was voted off last week because of whiny pants' goofy fake injury. So they are going to combine all the scores from last week and Rocco was spared a week longer...

The parade of C & D List stars make their way down and we see that there is an awful lot of crappy outfits that look like the absolute worst Bridesmaid dresses ever... that probably means that Sambas are going to be on this episode.

Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke are up first and we are reminded of how well they did last week. They have to dance the Party Dance of the Samba so in some incredibly fake cliche bullshit interaction with his daughter... he is "ready to Samba." The outfits are an absolute 70s throwback nightmare and they have huge afros and smiles and make me want to ... um... wish I was never born in the 70s. Just plain contrived. Len doesn't like it. Neither doesn't Tony. -- (Scores 6, 7, 7 - for a total of 20)

Cody Linley & Julianne Hough are up second and they are doing the Tango. hey... guess what? Cody's young and has little focus. *yawn* Julianne has his ex-high school principal yell at him through a web camera. I am yelling at the tv in my best yawn voice. The Tango comes on and Julianne is wearing an interesting I Dream of Jeannie set of pants. Cody is not top notch with the dance and looks stilted and almost violently stuck in place. Bruno likes him. Carrie Ann and Len are more critical, but I still expect 7s across the board. -- (Scores 7, 8, 8 - for a total of 23)

Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo dance third and we are reminded that they were too gimmicky. They are doing the Samba and TOni quickly reminds us that her heart condition is good but she is "sick." Seriously... she can't be more boring. AT least Rocco tries to be entertaining... even though he fails miserably. Muh wife points out that Toni is amazing shape and I have to concur. It was nice. Carrie is "being tough" tonight and is a bit critical even though she likes her. Len is a bit nicer. -- (Scores 7, 7, 8 - for a total of 22)

Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas are doing the Tango and they are not going to do as much goofy stuff as last time and she wants to be technically correct. Her interviews are rough, but she seems nice. They brought the family in to visit and muh wife doesn't cry like she does with teh family reunion episodes on Survivor (damn!). Time to dance! (or whatever it is that Cloris will do.) She's very serious... and Corky is definitely running the dance. These serious dances are actually better for her. TW confirms that it is ironic that the serious dances are actually her strong dances. Len and Bruno love it. Carrie Ann is full of ... something. Someone might call it vim and vigor. -- (Scores 8, 7, 7 - for a total of 22)

Rocco DiSpirito & Karina Smirnof would have been eliminated last week. Really? I forgot! I would be a Negative Nancy if I was on the show. Rocco is going to take it more seriously and you can see the pressure in his eyes. He's nervous and not having fun... so let's ask his mom to cheer him up. It's the Samba and his mom says some contrived Clorisy type stuff. Blech. His arm frills are attrocious and they are pink! Eventually... they are ripped off and that's when I realize that this may be his best dance so far until the very end when he accidentally lifts her and it is a bit of a mess. Bruno hates him and says that he doesn't have a single musical bone in his body. Carrie is nicer about it. Len says nothing much. The rest of the cast can feel say about not going home this week. -- (Scores 6, 6, 6 - for a total of 18)

Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani are next. Blech. Her death stare creeps me out and I am left with the sick feeling in my gut that I am getting at least another week of this boring fake turd. Rough? Yeup, but whatever. Damn you Rocco! The one funny bit was making Tony look funny on All My Children. They start giving her some sort of personality by tapping into her FAKE PERSONA... Erika Kane. The Tango is up and she is as timid to start as Carrie Ann called her last week. Of course... since I know nothing... the judges loved her. -- (Scores 8, 8, 8 - for a total of 24)

FYI -- The kid's ballroom dancing competition is NOT popular -- nor is it fun.

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough got a ten last week. Brooke and Derek are off to see real Samba dancers at a bar/restaurant. Hey America? LA thinks she is skanky while TW and I think she is lovely. The dance starts (Samba) and Brooke shows her sexiness from an increibly stuck on dress which should just fall off, but in great DWTS fashion, it doesn't The dance is really good and was actually a result of the tremendous music... which required someone talking and not singing. Len thinks it is too erotic. and Bruno was out of control and quietly ended it with... "I need a smoke." I laughed out loud. -- (Scores 9, 8, 9 - for a total of 26)

Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer come up second to last and they will be dancing the Tango. After some goofy lines, Lance actually ends with... "I am going to Tango my way to the top.".. and it makes me not even want to watch his dance... but I watch the extreme purple dress and tux and I think of Grimace even though neither of them are shaped like milk shakes. They were good and gothicky looking. Bruno liked it. Carrie did too. Len the poo pants is up last and he calls Lance Sir Dance A Lot. *Merp* -- (Scores 9, 8, 9 - for a total of 26)

Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson are up last... and we are reminded that he's adorable and he's going to dance the Samba... and get fun. Kym takes him on a field trip to see "Capuwarda" which is martial arts and dancing in one. Warren comes out and looks like he's having fun... and Kym seems to really like showing off her boobs this season. Fun, Fun, Fun dance. Carrie adores him, but she, Bruno, and Len think there was little substance and thought there was no content. -- (Scores 8, 7, 7 - for a total of 22)

What did you guy's think?

Just to remind you... of tonight's scores -- combined with last week's scores...

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough 28 + 26 -- 54
Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer 22 + 26 -- 48
Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson 25 + 22 -- 47
Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani 21 + 24 -- 45
Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo 22 + 22 -- 44
Cody Linley & Julianne Hough 21 + 23 -- 44
Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke 24 + 20 -- 44
Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas 16 + 22 -- 38
Rocco DiSpirito & Karina Smirnof 20 + 18 -- 38

I Love Creativity and I Love My Friends

I got the coolest Halloween party invitation the other day.

This little black box with my wife and my name's on the outside arrives so ... we open it.

On the inside flap is the information for the party and inside is a fake finger with a ribbon tied around it in a pile of shredded white paper.

Genius... I love them.

Take a look below.

Can It Get Prettier?

Congrats to Scott and Kelly

You two are pretty damn awesome.

Survivor Gabon: Earth's Last Eden Week Three

Previously... Fang was strong but a bunch of weaklings. Then... Fang just won two challenges... sent Sugar to E.I. were she found the Immunity Idol and my girl Paloma was booted.

We are "Liiiiive" and the animals are so frigging cool looking since they are being shot in HD. Kelly was the lone friend of Palmoa and now she's going to go after Ace, who announces to everyone that Kelly is next... (pppsssssst... I don't have Kelly.)

Fang is running out of rice and Randy is doing what he can to get everyone to recognize that and more people are looking to just ignore him, while an alliance of Matty, Randy, Susie, and Dan set up an alliance.

It's time to get into an Immunity Challenge where each tribe has to rank their tribe in order of most important to least important... inividually and the numbers are added up... They are then stuck on platforms. Marcus for Kota and Matty for Fang. This is an incredibly interesting challenge and shows how much of an asshole Ace is in his interview.

This... seems a bit higher than I expected.

This will give insight because they are now going to pick new tribes, which gives us some insight into the alliance creating bits earlier. THe new tribes are then picked.

New Tribes are...

Kota -- Marcus, Dan, Charlie, Randy, Corrinne, Susie, Bob
Fang -- Matty, Ace, Crystal, Jacque, Ken, Kelly, GC

There was a lot of drama around the choice of Kelly and GC. You will also notice that Sugar wasn't chosen. She is going to Exile Island and she will remain there... until the next Tribal Council and she will join the tribe that loses a player to even out the tribes.

We join Sugar as she enters her "Sugar Shack" because she doesn't have to do anything since she found the idol already... she just lives in luxury right now.

There is a lot of feeling peple out and getting to know each other... and who doesn't like each other... like eusing the outsider Kelly to their advantage.

It's time for the Immunity Challenge where they play Water Polo, but on rafts and with lacross like paddles. This is a new an interesting type of challenge. First one to three wins.

Randy scores first for Kota even though Marcus is the star of this point.
Randy scores second for Kota even though Marcus is the star of this point -- AGAIN.
Randy scores the final point after some awesome saves. Kota wins and Fang ha a whole bunch of players who just did nothing... (Ken, Crystal, Kelly?)

Fang now negotiates who is going home and it looks like Kelly is going to be the one going home, but they are also thinking about Ace or Jacque as Matty, GC, Ken, and Crystal are all thinking about Jacque with Matty being a bit vague... and he is going over to the other three to tell them. Jacque works on Ken... and then Crystal...

We arrive in Tribal Council and we get another glimpse as to why the casting might not have been that good. There are some pretty boring people and I am not digging the less confident Ace...

The votes are in and Jeff will "tally the votes." He asks for the immunity idol and "tallies."

Jacque
Kelly
Kelly
Jacque
Jacque
Jacque.... I lose another player...

Tucker's Nuts
1. Charlie Herschel(1)
5. Susie Smith(9)
6. Matty Whitmore(12)
7. Randy Bailey(13)
8. Bob Crowley(16)
9. Jessica Kiper(17)
3. Jacque Berg(5) -- Booted Week Three
2. Paloma Soto-Castillo(4) -- Booted Week Two
4. Michelle Chase(8) -- Booted Week One

Assshfault Warriors
1. Ken Hoang (2)
2. Dan Kay (3)
3. Corinne Kaplan (6)
4. Ace Gordon (7)
5. Kelly Czarnecki(10)
6. Danny Brown aka GC (11)
7. Crystal Cox(14)
8. Marcus Lehman(15)
9. Gillian Larson(18) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!

Happy Anniversary Sweetie!

4 Years of tolerating me... officially.

You deserve a medal... a big shiny medal!

Three Word Movie Reviews

An American Crime -- Loved It. Good.

Casino Royale (1967) -- Good Old-Fashioned Comedy

Finding Amanda -- Kinda Depressing. Slow

Foot Fist Way -- Silly and Funny

The Forbidden Kingdom -- Decent, Action Flick

Iron Man -- Stylized Energetic Fun

Leatherheads -- Surprised Me. Good!

The Life Before Her Eyes -- Depressing, Powerfully Interesting

The Love Guru -- Ugh. Just Horrible

Made of Honor -- Dumb, Predictable, Horrific

The Neighbor -- Already Been Done...

Pathology -- Unnecessary Horror Dumbness

The Promotion -- Different, Quirky, Nice

Rouge -- Was Fun. Spooky.

Snow Angels -- UNBELIEVABLY DEPRESSING. Oof.

Soccer Mom -- Bad Yet Goofy

Speed Racer -- Boring, But Pretty

Then She Found Me -- ARGH. G'way Helen.

Tortured -- Cool Twist. Good.

Where in the World is Osama Bin Laden? -- Informative And Interesting

You Don't Mess WIth the Zohan -- Eh. Was Fine...

Dancing With the Stars, Week 3 Results Show

Before I forget...



We get a nice review of all of last night's dances... as we always do. Warren was awesome... Cloris was unique... and Samantha has earrings on that are bigger than her head.

Now... we get a special dance with Maksim and Edyta doing the dance that he was going to do with mIsty May Traenor.... EDYTA IS ON!!!!!!! and she is wearing school girl's clothes. I miss Edyta... even her fake leg warmers. *sigh*

The first couple continuing to the next round? Brooke Burke & Derek Hough Really? Duh.

The second couple saved is Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas. WOW! They saved the worst score this early in the show? Fascinating.

In proper cross promotion, DWTS is promoting the upcoming show Life on Mars by having 70's icon Cool and the Gang doing a medley of their songs. Fun... fun... fun...

Here comes a montage of what each star thinks is their strengthes and weaknesses. STOP DOING THESE DAMN THINGS ABC!

The third couple saved is *cue dramatic music* Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke -- poooooooooooooooooooooooop.

Samantha continues... CONTINUES to butcher the English language by doing backstage interviews. At least she's hot. Right ABC? Keep telling yourself that. It's interesting that Brooke Burke and Cloris Leachman are far more coherent than Samantha. Cloris is a train wreck, but we get to see her at least one more week.

ROCKETTES!!!!!!!!!! I have apparently met one of these lovely ladies or I am friends with one of her friends... (I can't figure it out all right now... I am just going to have to keep dating your daughter.) I am sure that an explanation will come soon? Please?

Now Jennifer Hudson bores us with her song and any respect that I had for her is gone because she is engaged to a contestant from I Love New York. Seriously. Welcome to the train to irrelevancy Jennifer. Welcome.

Ooooh! Another montage... three of the world's top choreography give us their takes on each of the dancers... Fast Forward rules.

Ooooh! Another montage... Now we get an insight into the injuries of the past few seasons... awesome.

The fourth couple saved in no particular order... Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson... another DUH and YAY!

The fifth couple saved, you ask? Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo

Samantha is given the opportunity to interview Warren and Toni. Poor America... Poor America... Kym is always so gracious and cute.

We are down to the final four and Tom sort of says off the cuff that no one is getting voted off this week because of the injury to Misty May. All scores and votes will count for next week. Talk about anti-climatic...

BUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THey are going to tell America who WOULD have gotten voted off. FASCINATINGLY... DULL.

They do a quick review of each dancer and what the judges said last night and then ask each judge what they thought as well. They are all so kind...

The next couple "safe" is Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani
The next couple "safe" is Cody Linley & Julianne Hough
The next couple "safe" is Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer

The couple who WOULD have gone home is... in an incredibly anti-climatic moment .... Rocco DiSpirito & Karina Smirnof

See you next week.

Dancing With the Stars, Week 3 Dancing Episode

We are LIIIIIVVEEEEE!!!!! (on DVR of course...)

We are starting the episode with a major news item. Misty May Traenor and Maksim Chmerkovskiy are quitting since Misty May has hurt her Achilles' Tendon. She will no longer have to show us her creepy vacant eyes and my friend Lori will no longer have a guy to drool over as much as she does Maksim.

HOLY CRAP. Samantha looks fantastic in red -- even though you haters will hate her hair.

Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani are up first and my venom will be directed at her from now on until she is voted off. She looks evil and someone needs to tie her down and shove about seven Big Macs down her throat... SO they start and they look all out of sorts doing hte Jive. Susan looks like she is on drugs and they are all out of sorts. MY wife pointed out that her legs are wimpy and I think there is no flair to them at all. Just to prove we are incredibly dopey... the judges seem to like her more than we did, even though they weren't 100% behind her. Susan's sympathy card for the night... she "rolled" her ankle... pushaw.. -- (Scores 7, 7, 7 - for a total of 21 -- TOO GENEROUS)

Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer come in second and Lacey refuses to bow down to classical ballroom technique. Will they finally bow down to Len? They are going to bow down and play by the rules. Good and bad from my point of view, but Lacey is still the most annoying dancer so to test their dancing skills and see if they are traditional, they go to a Senior Center. Really? They are dancing the Viennese Waltz. It's a really nice dance... I gotta admit. Bruno is disappointed and Carrie thought it was "fantastic." Len's turn. He hated it because of his flatfootedness, but called it his best dance so far. Smelmooo has a truly confused face right now. -- (Scores 8, 7, 7 - for a total of 22)

Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke are third and they are the other team that I am not rooting for. Maurice is still just smiling all the time and cliche filled, but I am sure there are some people liking it. His footwork is his problem so Cheryl takes his frustrated ass to the outside and to try the tire drill and jump rope. They dance the Jive and look incredibly blue and sequiny. It isn't horrible, but it had tons of gimmicks. Carrie thinks he is exciting and fun... as does Len. Bruno chimes in for the trifecta. -- (Scores 8, 8, 8 - for a total of 24)

Rocco DiSpirito & Karina Smirnof slide in fourth. When Karina is acting normal, she is gorgeous, but when she is stressed or annoyed, she is incredibly scary looking. Karina makes Rocco wear a blindfold to break him out of his shyness. From what I can tell before they dance, it seems to work. They come out dancing the V. Waltz. He starts the dance with the blindfold and it eventually comes off. He is a classic case of someone who is trying incredibly hard, but can't quite do it. He's a mid rounder... and will probably make it through another round (KISS OF DEATH). Len liked parts of it. Bruno hated it comparing it to a pile of "mashed potatoes." Heh. Carrie loved it. -- (Scores 7, 7, 6 - for a total of 20)

Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson were awesome last week and I am still a big fan of Kym's look. They are dancing the V. Waltz and they are going to prove that a big 300 pound man can be soft and sweet. Let's see if he can. Football players are at an incredible advantage on a show like this. They really have to be light on their feet for the game and Warren.. looks fantastic as does Kym. The judges are in love with him too. They should be. -- (Scores 9, 8, 8 - for a total of 25)

SAMANTHA WHO!!!!!!!!

Cody Linley & Julianne Hough are up now... and now we get to see Cody at Miley Cyrus' Sweet 16 party. My level of tolerance for him and his youthful exuberance is at it's peak. Cody just gets younger looking to me each week and he keeps referring to that fact. Julianne is doing her best Cheryl Burke impression right now. I really can't tell you if I liked it or not. Carrie thinks it's nice, but isn't a fan. Len thinks it was a good first half and a boring second half. Bruno is last and agrees with Len. -- (Scores 7, 7, 7 - for a total of 21)

Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo can't be more boring. She was apparently the LEAST athletic person in school and she proves it tonight. Her outfit is unbelievably obnoxious. It's like she was in the movie Amadeus. The music starts off as classica nd then the electric guitars come in and save the song... It's a fine dance and classical, but I am just not awed by her at all. Len hated it. Bruno disliked it. Carrie Ann liked it. They all recognize the risk and only one person got it. -- (Scores 8, 7, 7 - for a total of 22)

Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas comes on a bit strong next. They have decided to go back to being fun this week because they are doing the Jive. We get a funny montage of her building up endurance and stamina. Her laugh is just infectious. They are going to go for entertainment. Good. Now... that's good since there was almost no technique to her dance and while they are doing their limited technique... her wig comes off and she can't keep up. It almost seemed abusive to her. How is Misty May hurt and Cloris hasn't broken anything yet. After that dancing debacle she goes around high fiving people. Bruno thinks it was a "tad" wacky. Carrie Ann isn't as kind. Len is cut off... as Bruno hands the wig back in a genuinely funny moment. -- (Scores 6, 5, 5) - for a total of 16)

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough are in to perform last. In an effort to make her look less perfect, they are showing some interesting editting with the two of them both being tense and terse. It made me uncomfortable. Then.. they made up. Woo hoo... They are dancing the V. Waltz and look nice in pink. How can you not like this simply beautiful dance? Seriously. That was awesome. Carrie adores her and Len thinks it was the best dance of the season. -- (Scores 9, 10, 9 - for a total of 28)

Misty May whines and moans. Oh well... I am unfazed.

Just to remind you... of tonight's scores...

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough -- 28
Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson -- 25
Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke -- 24
Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer -- 22
Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo -- 22
Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani -- 21
Cody Linley & Julianne Hough -- 21
Rocco DiSpirito & Karina Smirnof -- 20
Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas -- 16

Survivor Gabon: Earth's Last Eden Week Two

Previously... 18 people showed up in Africa and 2 people were booted.

It's right away that we see a secret side to Randy who hates everyone and is much meaner in the solo cameras. Tension is building and I love watching this show in HD. It's just that much better. Psst... GC and Randy are now arguing out loud and it makes me a bit nervous...

We now shift over to the other camp and we see an interesting battle between Paloma and Ace and neither of them know that they are battling.

We arrive at the Reward Challenge and there is a drag the other team physical challenge. Two people must attack and drag another player across the goal line to get points... It's an incredibly physical challenge. The men are up first.

Kota is the first scorer all because GC is a lazy bastard. The next round is next and Fang win a round... It's the final round and we change some attackers because GC is lazy... so he is replaced with a gitl... an Olympic gold winner in Crystal, but a girl.... Guess what? She's awesome... and because of her... Fang wins reward.

Fang then sends Sugar aka Jessica to Exile Island... and there is triumphant music and marching... hoo rah... Kota looks to find blame and I am not happy they are blaming Paloma...

We now shoot over to Sugar and she chooses to look for the idol instead of comfort where she encounters elephants and ants... and what does that mean? She strips! Then she breaks down... and then she finds a bunch of clues.. They are spending a great deal of time with her and she has to find the idol... just because... and... SHE FINDS IT!!!! (Why? Her dead father is watching over her... could it be that she braved it out and found it herself?)

It's now day 9 and Ace & BOb are debating about who they hate more... Sugar (Jessica) or Paloma. Now Corrinne gets involved and with this editting... how the hell can they win? They haven't even shown Fang yet!

The Immunity Challenge involves slinging themselves down some pretty cool looking slippery slides into a lake to get tiles... then a puzzle must be solved... Bob the Maine awesome guy and Ken the gamer are going to be the puzzle solvers.

Tiles are collected awkwardly and it comes down to BOb first with Ken trying to catch up. If the puzzle is solved, it will equal a combination to open a chest and win the game.

Ken wins and Fang wins immunity... see? It's all in the editting...and I was not surprised whatesover.

So now we see lots of talking between the Kota tribemates as they try to figure out who to send home. Ace and Jessica are trying to figure out who to send home. Paloma and Corrinne are convinced that Ace is a big punk and now others are finally focussing on Ace... and this makes me happy... I am confused... and it's a toss up going into Tribal Council.

Kota arrives at Tribal Council for the first time. Lots of fun dialogues and Ace is identified as the leader and he gets a reality check when some people are not talking nice about him... and I gotta admit... thank goodness since I find him grating and annoying.

Without a doubt... Kota is far more entertaining at Tribal Council than Fang.

The votes are in and Jeff will tally the votes (that never gets old to me.)

Paloma
Ace
Ace
Paloma
Paloma
Paloma
Paloma

Bye Bye Paloma and I lose another player... Poop.

Tucker's Nuts
1. Charlie Herschel(1)
3. Jacque Berg(5)
5. Susie Smith(9)
6. Matty Whitmore(12)
7. Randy Bailey(13)
8. Bob Crowley(16)
9. Jessica Kiper(17)
2. Paloma Soto-Castillo(4) -- Booted Week Two
4. Michelle Chase(8) -- Booted Week One

Assshfault Warriors
1. Ken Hoang (2)
2. Dan Kay (3)
3. Corinne Kaplan (6)
4. Ace Gordon (7)
5. Kelly Czarnecki(10)
6. Danny Brown aka GC (11)
7. Crystal Cox(14)
8. Marcus Lehman(15)
9. Gillian Larson(18) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!

Just Another Day at the Office

I have no idea what that means.

But we are home...

Celebrating our Anniversary Five Days Early

How about you?

The AT is gorgeous.

Book 65 of 52 -- Stephen Frey's Forced Out

This starts off as two separate stories that are obviously going to merge.

One is a mafia story, the other is a baseball story.

The mafia story is an interesting and believable read.

Perhaps this is because I have no idea how mafia characters would really behave and I am letting the author get away with literary murder?

The baseball story is filled with very cardboard characters that were hard for me to empathize with or believe in.

The characters were so flawed that it was hard to get behind them or cheer for them.

Still, it comes together in an interesting enough way to keep your attention and I ended up finding the book to be a fairly good read.

My Award -- A Retrospective

On the 22nd, I was given an amazingly humbling and wonderful award from a major business publication in the state.

I was named one of the Top Forty People Under 40 years old for my work in promoting business and community development throughout the state.

Wow.

As just a 34 year old, I was one of the younger folks to be recognized and I thought it was a nice affair.

My beautiful wife and I rocked the place where we feted and ate some fantastic pasta.

I intended to write a bunch more, but I am still shocked and amazed at it.

Phew.

Good times... Good times.

Dancing With the Stars, Week Two Results Episode

I am on major time delay since I was at a work event this evening...

Samanth is doing something awkward with her hair again and I love the shots of the stars as they fill in space. Kim and her dead eyes look bored and annoyed...

We return to an old tradition and Len gets to choose which dance we get to see again...and they have unanimously chose Warren and Kim's S&M Paso Doble. I am NOT complaining...

Let's begin the elimination portion now that the goofy replay and recap... TWICE.

The first couple definitely continuing to the next round... Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo. Megan is happy and Smelmooo yawns.
The second couple saved is Rocco DiSpirito & Karina Smirnof.

Before we go to commercial break we are treated to the special dancers coming up and this is the one time that I am upset that we have HD... they are scary looking.

Jessica Simpson is up to sing and I want to gouge out my eyes... She is falling into the Mariah Carey trap where she is dressing incredibly sexy in very short and almost inappropriate outfits.

Samantha is in the back butchering the English language. We have to speak with Tony and super boring Rocco.

The third couple saved is Cody Linley & Julianne Hough and I am strangely happy about it...

The fourth couple saved is Brooke Burke & Derek Hough. I am VERY happy about that.

We get to see a brief biography on Tony and Len who apparently are judges on the British version as well. Carrie gets to stay in LA. It bores us...

It's time for the "Stars of Dance" and there is some weird and funky stuff going on as each dancer has some wacky lights attached to themselves and makes me slightly uncomfortable as it reminds me of a futuristic HELLRAISER with the costumes.

Jessica Simpson is singing again... and is wearing more clothes this time. Damn you fast forward.

Fifth... Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani BLECH!!!!!

Tom is giving us a backstage view of the set... and it is incredibly boring.

Sixth... Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson WOOO HOOOOOOOOOO KYM!

Seventh... Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke ... ergh.

DRAMA begins as Tom and Samantha read quick reviews of what the dancers did the night before... Cloris puts on her show and sucks her thumb.

The eighth couple saved is...Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer That's fine... but... ummm... whatever...

The ninth couple saved is...Misty May Traenor & Maksim Chmerkovsky

Kim Kardashian & Mark Ballas & Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas are the final two and oh boy... the father/son rivalry is about to come to an end.

Cloris and Corky are saved ...

So that means that... Kim Kardashian and Mark Ballas are on their way home... and I want to personally thank America from the bottom of my heart for this.