We are reminded that TOni and Alec were eliminated last week and Brooke Burke has apparently injured herself this week. WHAT THE HEEL? (Get it? Heel. Oh screw you.)
We are... LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVEEE and the parade of stars comes down as they all jiggle at the camera and we see that Len isn't around and Michael Flatley looks dapper and is heralded as being a dancing superstar. He isn't allowed to say anything. They are all going to do their individual dances and then we are all going to be doing an "old school hip hop."
Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke dance first and I am reminded of how cliche andplain he is. They are now dancing the Viennese Waltz and I swear that with Maurice's speech inflection, I swear he says Vietnamese Waltz. They get some great music. His dance was elegant and nice and .... safe. Now... we get to hear what Flatley sounds like. The judges thought that there was something missing and I would agree. -- (Scores 7, 7, 7 - for a total of 21) Maurice says "Winner Winner, Chicken Dinner" every week. Jackass.
FYI -- I like Samantha's dress and look tonight. It's not her standard solid color dress
Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer dance second and we were reminded of how much Lacey made it about herself last week. We also hear again that Lance feels inadequate about his N'Sync days when they all told him how band he danced. Joey FATONE and another unknown band member give him support and Lance inadvertently says something about having a "Man to Man" with Joey Fatone and I giggle like a 3 year old... He's gay? Get it? Screw you. I am then giggling as he comes running out in a pinkish outfit to TOOTIE FRUITIE. Get it? He's gay. Screw you. I am enjoying the dance. Everyone loves his SMOKIN' dance. -- (Scores 9, 9, 9 - for a total of 27)
Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani is third and I am so glad that she was in the bottom two last week. That makes me so happy since I think she's a boring drip and really needs to go home. Tony is trying to loosen her up so they go to a Mambo club. Blech... I like Tony and I wish that he wouldn't get these women for partners. She dances the Mambo and just plain looks awkward. Carrie Ann loves her... huh? Bruno sees a firey side and thinks her timing is horrible. WOO HOO! Flatley continues to suck up even though he thinks her timing was also off. -- (Scores 8, 8, 7 - for a total of 23)
Brooke Burke & Derek Hough dances at the hump and Burke hurt her ankle. They are in a bind as he tries to protect her foot and push her with less time to practice. They come out to dance and they are in very white outfits as Derek wears his trademark white undershirt and something over it. They are dancing my least favorite dance... the Rumba. As always... Broooke to me is lovely and I am sure that my friend LA will find a reason to be a hater (HI LA! I Hope the Phillies win... just for you!) Flatley loves him and Carrie Ann hated her. Bruno was kind of eh about her. -- (Scores 8, 10, 8 - for a total of 26)
Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas is the first dance in the second half of the night and they look like a pair of bright bananas. This is explained when it is revealed that they are dancing a Cha Cha Cha. Corky reminds us that Cloris is tough to dance with since she doesn't listen so Corky calls upin her husband to help out. The dance starts out with a lot of flair and shenanigans... but eventually finds it's way into a a dance. Bruno said "You have to be the only person in the world who is able to sell such nonsense and people buy it." That was funny. Carrie gets bitchy and says... "We lost Toni Braxton for this and it kind of makes me sad." That was mean and appropriate. -- (Scores 5, 5, 5 - for a total of 15)
Cody Linley & Julianne Hough are up second to last and we are reminded that Julianne was taken to the hospital last week from being... sick. She braves it ou and teaches the 12 year old weirdo how to dance the Samba. He gets into a character and uses some stereotypes that annoy me. When it's time for the dance, we see that Julianne has returned to Hot Julianne mode and not her goofy character outfits. They are one of the better dancing teams, but TW and I agree that something was slightly off. Carrie loved it. Bruno is on the... (you know.) Flatley is right down the middle. Apparently she has endometriosis and is getting her appendix removed by surgery tomorrow. Cody will have Edyta from now on if they make it through to next week. -- (Scores 8, 8, 7 - for a total of 23)
WOOOO HOOOO... I get some Edyta!.... I hope.
Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson dance the Rumba this week. Their video montage was boring... but they are apparently going to tell a story with their dance. Lover's quarrel... make up... love forever... I think is the theme... My only thought is that Warren seemed to do very little during the dance while Kym was in a skimpy skimpy outfit the whole dance. Flatley was entertained but thought there could have been more dancing. Carrie and Bruno thought it was fine, but there were some mistakes. -- (Scores 8, 9, 8 - for a total of 25)
Old School Hip Hop Group Dance!
We get an awkward and dumb video montage as everyuone plays out stereotypes and it annoys me. The group dance starts and each pair gets to be in the spotlight for a second or two. One of the problems while I watch this is that I can't telll a lot of the apart because the outfits and gats and hoods are so absurd. Of everyone... Lacey and Derek are the best. The whole thing was far less of a train wreck than I thought it would be.
Just to remind you... of tonight's scores...
Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer -- 27
Brooke Burke & Derek Hough -- 26
Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson -- 25
Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani -- 23
Cody Linley & Julianne Hough -- 23
Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke -- 21
Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas -- 15
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