Survivor Samoa Premieres!!!

Holy smoly! 19 Seasons... I am so excited... Primarily.. for two main reasons...

1. Russell Hantz -- I have never seen a season where they are promoting the hell out of ONE person before a season even starts and if you believe all the hype, Russell is the biggest douche bag that ever existed. I heard about his "strategy" and it boggles my mind on paper, but may be fun in the middle of nowhere.

2. Return to the Beachy Island -- Amazon was fine... Rivers are fun... China was different, but the game is best when it is played in a beach setting. After 18 other seasons of this... I am most excited for the beach setting.

2a. Tribes are Pre-Determined -- No more pickem and that crap.

Galu (Purple) vs Foa Foa (Yellow) arrive and Jeff throws a wrench and makes them vote without ever talking to anyone. Galu decides on Russell who was in a close race with mullet wearing Shambo and Foa Foa decides on Mick, the guy who loves himself. Interestingly enough... they both are wearing suit coatish stuff and they are forced to make an immediate decision... they have to choose who is the best swimmer for the first challenge... and the strongest person... and the most agile person... and the smartest person...

The first challenge begins immediately for fire... the first leg is swimming and Foa Foa has the lead once the leg is over. The second leg is a strength leg and requries some lifting of heavy log bundles and Foa Foa maintains the lead. The third leg is a balance beam with a rope twisted around it and Foa Foa gives up some of the lead but is still leading which allows the final leg of a puzzle. The winner of fire is... Foa Foa!

It's time to get to meet each other and for the audience to get to know folks. Russell is setting up alliances with the "dumb short haired girl", "even dumber long haired blonde girl", and the brunette to create the "dumbass girl alliance." For good measure, he adds the older lady cop (Betsy) who rightfully doesn't trust him. Thank you Russell for living up to expectations.

We meet some other players and then... we get to Russell H. again. He tells the entire tribe about living in New Orleans and seeing his dog die in the hurricanes.. then he reveals that it was all a lie... and it makes me laugh. He then goes to everyone's canteens and empties them while they sleep because he wants to make it as miserable as possible for everyone... even by burning socks... He just wants to show how easy it is to win the game. I am in love with this asshole... and he is nothing more than an asshole.

The next morning...e veryone is miserable and Russell H. is loving it... and so am I.

Immunity Challenge -- There's a whole lot of rope... running... ramps... and more... Galu takes a huge lead and it eventually evens out... the ramps get steeper and steeper... They then have to do a lot of pulling.... to pull the puzzle pieces closer... Galu is in the early lead, but the Foa Foa makes progress quickly. When it is all said and done... Galu wins immunity! Then they have an incredibly unsportsmanlikey chant and they go home.

The negotiating for staying and going is an interesting set of conditions... Russell H. is the puppetmaster and is making me laugh and he runs his mouth. With editting... it will be Russell H. (since some chicks don't trust him), Mike, Marissa, or Ashley. Ben is a cocky guy and the only other real memorable personality to me at the moment.

Time for the votes to come in... Jeff is going to "tally" the votes...

Marisa
Marisa
Ashley
Ashley
Marisa
Ashley
Marisa
Marisa (5-3)
Marisa

First person voted out is Marisa and we lose a smart and sweet person right away. Oh well... at least I didn't have her.

As we have done for the past 17 seasons, my buddy MB and I have drafted teams to see who will win. I had a good winning sreak going before Marc stepped in during the last season and toppled me.

Reminder: The parenthesis indicate where they were drafted.

Tucker's Nuts
Betsy Bolan (2)
Ashley Trainer (3)
Mike Borassi (6)
Elizabeth Kim (7)
Brett Clouser (10)
Kelly Sharbaugh (11)
Mick Trimming (14)
David Ball (15)
Shannon Waters (18)
Laura Morett (19)

Assssshhhfault!!
John Fincher (1)
Ben Browning (4)
Erik Cardona (5)
Marisa Calihan (9)
Russell Hantz (12)
Natalie White (13)
Russell Swan (16)
Yasmin Giles (17)
Jaison Robinson (20)
Monica Padilla (8) -- Booted Week One