Dancing With the Stars -- Week ? Oh... I Forget!

Pardon my french, but thank fucking god that Samantha Harris is back. She looks so lovely... She has new mom boobs...in a cocktail dress... you can envision my extreme excitement.

When... Tom goes "LIIIIVE" in the beginning of the show I know that I am in the house.

Holy crap... my first thoughts... Kym's dress makes her ass look huge... Sabrina still looks like poo... Mark Cuban looks like he is in so much pain...AND... just when I thought that Edyta's dress couldn't get skimpier and more amazing... they got even more... skimpy and how the hell does it stay on her body...

Mark... as much as I don't like him... continues to get better each week... damn... I don't think he'll win... but he is doing better.

Sabrina... I can't stand her still...soooo... it has been nagging me about what she reminds me of... I say "what" on purpose. I remember as a child reading the Wonderful Wizard of Oz and there were characters in the book/books called Flatheads. Their heads were flat and they carried their brains around in jars. I have thought of those characters for my entire life and Sabrina makes me feel that way... 10? 10? 10? Fuck you ABC.

Jane Seymour is pulling the DEAD MOM card for the second week in a row. (ok... ABC is pulling it for her... ) Shit... this time... she loves to paint... and never mentions her mom once... Good for her... but she and Tony dance with paint on their feet. Isn't that fun? For those of you who watched it? I KNEW THEY DID A LIFT!!!... but my wife says... NOOO... Bull Honky!!! Lift! LIFT! LIFT!!!! But... alas... she is graceful and wonderful.

I was out to dinner and I spoke about the show with the woman of the group and we seemed to talk more about the dancers than we did the famous people... so I ask... What is the definition of a star? and far can you stretch it?

Floyd... I thought he would do better, but he has been leaving me lacking. He's a big cry baby after watching this week's interviews. I am disappointed.. that he isn't doing better and he actually seems like someone who cares... but he is pig headed and doesn't full listen and appreciate his partner. Their dance... much to the fault of the music was stale and rough... I feel as though he's always hunched over. He's trying. End of story. I wish his scores could be be reflective of this. One thing that was great though was that he threatened the judges to give him better scores... and I think it work with the "gay?" judge...

Mel B is up. Boring. Vote her off so she can devote more time to her awesome music... You know you wanna be a singer... go for it...away... The best part of her dance was the fact that the song was a Kelly Clarkson song. Not her week.

I think Carrie Ann is on her period. (I tried this one out with one of my fun feminist friends... and she responded with... If I didn't agree, I'd be offended.) See? I was right.

Did Cameron dance? I was looking at Edyta and her lack of a dress the whole time...

Marie Osmond is just hovering along and I wouldn't be surprised if she makes it to the final three, not because of the skills she has but because of the power of the Mormons!!! GO MORMONS!!!!

My opinions of Floyd are changing... he keeps yawning and looks bored and like an asshole...

Is Jennie Garth the only "normal" star? She seems just so regular. Oh well... As they say in Us Magazine... Stars are People TOO!!!! She just dedicated the dance to her husband... TW thinks that is a kiss of death... nope... She was awesome... I like her and Helio the best. "I love Lenny" Thank you Jennie for that!

Last and not least is Helio and Julianne's dress... and I think Julianne is wearing a dress that is thirteen sizes too small. Helio isn't perfect.... but the dance looked perfect to me. Carrie Ann said something nice... "Helio...when you dance, you make me happy to be alive." That was sweet and accurate.

Bye bye Floyd....