Crap... TW and I watched Sabrina Bryan on the Ellen Degeneres show this evening right before we watched DWTS. Yeup... I still f&cking hate her fat little Flathead face. I hoped that she would slip and fall... I am a mean jerk to this turd face.
It's 8:20 pm currently... so I think we shall start the show... it makes it easier since I can fast forward through the commercials.
"Last week, we saw one of our most dramatic episodes in our history..." Oh Tom... you Hyperbolic Bastard. LIIIIIIVE!!!!!!!!!! (I think my wife swoons for TOm Bergeron....)
Holy crap... ANTI-SWOON ALERT! Samantha Harris' dress and hairstyle are not the best on her. She is so lovely... why do they do that to her?
Let's start with Cheetah Girl Sabrina Bryan... let's take a breather here...and try to say something nice about Sabrina Bryan. Her last name isn't entirely horrible... I counted... if you count the word CHEETAH on her sweatshirt... she said "Cheetah Girls" 18 times in her opening 1.5 minutes. This goes back to my definition of Star question. If she has to tell me that she is with the Cheetah Girls that many times.... do I have to believe that she is a star? HA! She messed up and Tangentwoman and I caught it! The judges are picking on her. Good... I hope she cries. (HA! 25... eat 25 Twinkies Flathead!)
Jennie Garth is up. She remains teh most down to earth and fun dancer on the show. The whole pre-interview was about how nervous she gets. She shouldn't be nercous and just needs to have some fun. These Hough kids can really choreograph! The judges seemed to like her more than Sabrina in the comment section. Woo hoo!!!!!!!! (27!!!!!!)
Hee hee... Sabrina is in last place...
Jane Seymour was in the bottom two last week. She must be super steaming about the fake passing out that Marie Osmond (porn) pulled last week. Jane Seymour... a BRITISH WOMAN was proud to perform in front of the American Navymen... since they are fighting for "our country" WHAT?!?!?!?! British faker. )Side note... Tony Dovolani is the nicest person in the world...) Jane's dance was weak and made me sad for her...She is probably better than I will be at her age, but still... the poor dance was boring... The judges said that the Jive is not her best dance... I think that explains how we feel. (22 -- Crap... now Sabrina isn't in last place anymore.)
Cameron Mathison keeps trying to make me laugh... I didn't want to like him at the beginning of the year, but I might actually be kind of rooting for him now... but he's just too darn handsome. (jealousy... ) FBT's wife asked me while watching this... why does Edyta wear a headband a lot....I don't know... I think I figured out what it is about Cameron that I like... he is so enthusiastic about his dancing and yet... it isn't as obnoxious as Sabrina... who just seems fake about it. I liked his dance and he kind of missed the move at the end... but I liked it a lot. (25... phew... not worst than Sabrina at least.)
Mel B of the Spice Girls is up to dance... I can't like her... and her accent is driving me up a wall... I am encouraging her to fall on Maksim's face. (Side note... with the way he moves... how the hell is he not gay? Also... he refers to himself as a bad boy of dancing...if you call yourself a bad boy... you are NOT a bad boy... he has created his own little beard .... ) I don't know if you guys know how I feel... but SHE DANCES FOR A LIVING! Blech. (I kind of want her to get a higher score that shit face... She got a 30... nice...)
Marie Osmond (porn) is up... let's count the fainting spell replays... Once in the opening and now... one more... Phew... only once.. I will take some slack for this, but she is much prettier now and it has a lot to do with the weight loss... Holy crap... this dance was boring as poo.... I think a lot of it has to do with the music. I just giggled like a little boy when Len... the British judge said "Sausages..." Hee hee... (23..... see? We were right... but this gives Sabrina more of an out.)
Juliane Hough and Helio Castroneves is the cutest couple on Dancing With the Stars ever. The dance this week was fun... and seemed to suit Helio much more than last week's dance. Tangentwoman just said... "I just think that he's just so cute... " The audience and Tucker's parents all loved it... I am almost afraid to hear the judges' opinions... They all loved him. Phew... (28!!! Second place... better than douche face ... )
Fun fact... Julianne farted on camera. No joke. Skip to the last 10 seconds.
(Barry Manilow will be back on the live show tomorrow... Awesome! I can't wait to fast forward through that!)
GROUP DANCE!!!!!!! Awesome... another montage... These camera angles are killing me... I love that Edyta and Cameron flip twist in the air thing... HOLY CRAP... what the hell did Julianne just do! That was amazazing... (Benchwarmers...)
Alright... time to log off... I want Sabrina to go home... but it's probably going to be Jane Seymour or Marie Osmond...but I can not underestimate the Mormons ...
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