Behold the Power of Cheese

For my birfday this year, muh honey got me a fun T-Shirt.

It simply declares -- Cheese is Good

I wore said shirt to the Barenaked Ladies concert this weekend, and I have to behold the power of cheese. More importantly, I have to relate the power of cheese and how a simply stated addiction on my chest can cause the most interesting reactions from some folks.

Cheese Rocks

It may have been the confluence of pot or mushrooms, but I would say that the majority of people reacted in a manner reserved for rock band T-Shirts. I sear to God that in a short walk to the bathroom, I heard all of these statements...

1. "Dude, Cheese Rocks!" This was accompanied with a Hang Loose finger sign.

2. "Duuuuuuuuuude!!!!!!!!!!!" Then... he cackled.

3. "Great shirt man..."

4. "Behold the power of cheese...." This young gentleman dropped to his knees and jokingly bowed. I dubbed him the Knight of Swiss.

5. "I love ________" Insert type of cheese here.

Those were my favorite random statements. Most other people would do double takes and simply smile.

Courtney Is My New Girlfriend

It was in between acts and I decided that the yummy burgers from earlier in the afternoon were completely through my system, so I took my Cheese IS Good shirt, said good bye to muh honey and made my way to the concession line to pay too much for a dish of french fries and chicken fingers (None compare to the ones you get at Trenton Titans games though).

Once firmly planted on line, I was treated to the drunk young woman in front of me. This was how we met.

Drunk Girl (DG) -- You know... Cheese is good... (This was accompanied with her poking me in the chest right where it says cheese.)

Me-- You are right... all cheese is good except for swiss...

DG -- Nah... I like swiss (Here is where I am torn... was she looking at me flirtaciously or because she wanted to eat me or my shirt?) It's Feta that I don't like.

Me -- You kidding me? It's great... especially with some small tomatoes and in a white vinegar and basil? (Thank you Kelly and Tracie -- Lunch today.)

DG -- No no no no... (how does one actually stumble while waiting on line? I am not sure..but Courtney was able to. ) too close to blue cheese.

Me -- oh ok... you don't know what you are missing.

She seemed to be a nice girl but she was too drunk to not continue to talk to. I had a good 20 minutes before I was going to make it to the front of the line anyway.

DG -- My name is Courtney. What is yours? Mozzarella?

Me -- (With my best fake polite laugh, I pretended that was hilarious.) No... It is Brian.

DG -- That is a nice name. You from around here?

Me -- (subtlely dropping hints) No... WE live in Middlesex County. You?

DG -- I am from the Toms River area.

Me -- Area? What town?

DG -- Beachwood. You ever hear of it?

Me -- Of course! I know where that is.

DG -- Really? (Her eyes lit up big time here and if she wasn't so excited, she might have stumbled again.) No one has ever heard of Beachwood before. Wow... someone who knows where Beachwood is. That's great.

Me -- Mmmm hmmm... (You guys should know what the punch line is by now.)

DG -- Where is it? (This was the first time she wiped the sweat from her brow.)

Me -- Near Toms River.

I will end that conversation right there. She was impressed by my knowledge of geography and continued to converse with me wiping the now profusely sweating forehead. She eventually made it up to the counter and was joined by her two friends who made her order more food. Courtney did as she was told and ordered four french fries each with a cheese cup and a large Coke with no ice.

I love watching drunk people. I should say... friendly drunk people. The mean ones I can do without but friendly drunk people are really really really fun to watch. One of the things they do that is the most fun to watch is when they pay for stuff. They generally take all the money they have in their hands and firmly hold it with two hands. They stiffly move their arms with their money and move as though it weighs 50 pounds. The best part is when they put the money down on the counter as though it is a major accomplishment. People behind the counter could totally take more money than they were entitled to when they see the Drunk Two Handed Payout.

Courtney did that. That cracked me up.

So... Courtney now has french fries and four coups of cheese to carry... she grabs a carry tray and puts the cheese cups into it. She then wiped her brow again. Only this time... she didn't wipe the sweat away... Instead, she applied a huge glob of cheese to it. I learned of this when her friend was like... "Courtney... You got cheese on your forehead... "

Pour Courtney... she had professed her love for cheese and discussed the merits and cons of different types of cheese just twenty minutes before and now... she was a cheese covered drunk girl. Her second attempt to wipe her brow failed and she wiped even more cheese on her head.

She grabbed a napkin, wiped her forehead clean and turned away quickly. She barely got out... "It was nice meeting you Ryan" before she fled from the line.

Cheese had brought Courtney and I together and cheese was going to be the very reason that Courtney and I would never see each other again.

Behold the power of cheese.