Easily Amused by Snapple

I like Snapple as much as the next person and I really enjoy the "Real Facts" that they put on the inside of their caps. These are interesting and provide me with hours of entertainment.

I really do mean hours. I love typing one up and copying and pasting it for others to read on IM or in email. They can spark hours of discussion about that specific fact or other stupid facts that we sort of know.

However, I have been disappointed recently by the quality of facts coming out of the Snapple folks. I guess they are running out of material, but I don't see how when they have an entire world to work with.

For example, Real Fact #395 was "It is impossible to sneeze with your eyes open." We know that. We learned that in 3rd grade and spent the next three years trying to disprove it -- much to the chagrin of our teary and blood shot eyes. This isn't anything new to most people.

Real Fact #266 informs us that "Manhattan is the only borough in New York City that doesn't have a Main Street." I spent $1.39 for this information? You gotta be kidding me.

Not all Real facts are poor. Take these two. They make me shake my head for another reason. Who the hell decided that these were important enough to even consider for a Real Fact?

Real Fact #256 states "There are more saunas than cars in Finland." Ow. That was my actual reaction to that Real Fact. It actually made my brain hurt. I thought... the Snapple folks weren't drinking Snapple when they thought up that bad boy. Probably something with a bit more 'kick.' Who would think to compare saunas to cars except a drunk finnish fella?

Real Fact #356 just plain made me laugh. "You exhale air at 15 m.p.h." I had a vision of a cop sitting there with a radar gun pointed at my mouth and every 3-5 seconds, he would tell me how fast my breath was coming out. "Excuse me sir... this is a 5 m.ph. zone. Your body is fine but I am really going to have to ask you to slow your breath down. Consider this a warning." I don't sleep much.

Interesting Real Facts alo appear once in awhile. These two are the best examples and speak for themselves.

Real Fact #313 says that "'O' is the oldest letter of the alphabet, dating back to 3000 B.C." The big O. O boy howdy. Ohhhh... Tomorrow tomorrow... or even my favorite... Oh Susanna...

Real Fact #237 informs us "The number of times a cricket chirps in 15 seconds plus 37, will give you the current air temperature." Awesome! But have you ever tried to do this in Hunterdon County? If I counted right... umm... I think it is 937 degrees outside. I am going to have to go buy a cricket now and just count that cricket's chirps. I must know.

Until next time... may you have to pee as much as I did after drinking all of this Snapple.