It's Hot Outside

It's Hot Outside

It isn't just hot outside.  It is like walking through a waterfall hot outside.

I know it is hot outside for one simple reason.  When I got out of my car after my three minute ride over to work, my glasses fogged up.  I then walked in a crooked line as my work bag made me stumble off balance and I slammed my hip into the neighboring S.U.V.

Ouch...

In all seriousness though, I believe the funniest way of expressing hot weather was by Neil Simon in Biloxi Blues.  I can still hear Matthew Broderick saying.  "Man it's hot. It's like Africa hot. Tarzan couldn't take this kind of hot."  (Side Note -- Neil Simon is/was a genius.)

1.   It was hot last night too.  It was so hot that I remember one thing.  At 10:00 last night, I hadn't significantly moved in about two hours and I was just fine with that.  I was sitting comfortably in front of a fan and my butt wasn't going anywhere except to read another 50 pages in the book I can't put down.

2.   It was so hot last night that I had every intention of opening up the grill and cooking up some burgers for dinner for us last night.  I never made it.  I ate a piece of toast instead.  Damn fine toast I must say... damn fine.

3.   It is so hot today that a guy I see everyday wasn't wearing his suit.  He ALWAYS wears a suit -- even on casual Fridays.

4.   It was so hot this morning that I was grateful that we have a ceiling fan in the new bathroom.  It actually takes the humidity out of the room so that I don't start to actually sweat until I go into the hallway.

5.  It was so hot this morning that my next door neighbor's dog didn't want to go for a walk.  He just sat there.  Hot as a dog... hot dog... get it?

I know.. I know... the main reason I am experiencing all these hot problems is because the humidity is 95% out there, and it looks like the sky is going to open up in a torrential thunderstorm, but I am still aware that the humidity wouldn't be an issue if it wasn't so dang hot outside.

I hear all the time that the heat we experience is inferior to heat in other parts of the country.  "It isn't 'hot' in New Jersey," they say.  "90 degrees isn't really hot.  You should experience the hot in Arizona."  Hell no... that is HOT HOT.  That is 120 frigging degrees hot.  "But Brian... that is a dry heat.  It isn't like the humidity you guys have in New Jersey."  Yeah... you are right.  It is a different kind of heat.  We have that kind of heat in New Jersey too.  It's called an oven... and you don't see me sticking my head in an oven... do you?

oof...it is hot today... or did you guys already know that?

P.S.  It isn't too hot for me to drive up to Hot Dog Johnnys to get some dogs though.  Maybe this weekend... maybe.