The Top Top Five Tuesday EVER!!!!!!!

Top Five Elementary School Smells
1. Kids after gym class that refused to shower because puberty didn't happen yet.
2. Sloppy Joes day
3. The old mimeograph machines.
4. Sawdust... you remember what they used to put sawdust on.. don't you?
5. Cleaning solution found in those green rags they wiped the lunch room tables with.

Top Five Nicknames That Have Arbitrarily Been Given to Me That I HATE.
1. Tobin
2. Tobes
3. Smart Ass
4. Jerk off
5. Snookums

Top Five Things That I Enjoy That Could Reasonably Lead You to Conclude That I am a 13 Year Old Girl
1. Lindsay Lohan
2. Freddie Prinze Jr. movies
3. Eat Ice Pops
4. Gossipping About Boys
5. Ironning my outfits

Top Five Fake Names For A New Street Gang I Want to Start
1. Flammable Cheese
2. Asphalt Warriors
3. Cheesequake Eruptions
4. Pork Chop Express
5. Snookums Police


Top Five Things I Would Be Great At If They Were Olympic Events
1. Making Up Top Five Lists
2. Eating Red Meat
3. Getting Your Fiancee to "Pull My Finger" (and she still laughs.)
4. Sucking at Fantasy Football -- even with killer teams
5. Telling Jokes About Asphalt


Top Five Reasons Fanny Packs are Uncouth
1. Emphasis on the fanny? No. They Emphasize the belly.
2. Because NASCAR fans wear them.
3. Ever see a supermodel wearing one?
4. Do we need anymore?
5. Because I said so....


Top Five Words I Want to Hear the Pope Use
1. Smoochies
2. Turds
3. Burglar
4. Fiduciary
5. Boner

Top Five Things Whose Use By Children Kind of Depresses Me
1. Belly Shirts
2. Lipstick for rainbows
3. Jelly bracelets (New meaning)
4. Whip Its
5. Birth Control

Top Five Things That I Should Arbitrarily Become Opinionated About
1. Your screensaver choice.
2. The colors of the Costa Rican flag.
3. Lengthening the distance of the marathon.
4. Chair upholestry
5. Door jams and their socio-economic significance for the Portuguese