GETTING TO KNOW THE SMELMOOO

Yeah... I haven't done one of these suckers in a long time. I think this one is fun...I guess we should all thank Karen for this glorious contribution to yours and my life. I encourage you all to answer these in the comments section. I dare you.


GETTING TO KNOW THE SMELMOOO

1. Are you an innie or an outie ?
Innie -- Anything else would be uncivilized.

2. Have you ever worn bell-bottoms?
I can proudly say that I never have worn them -- in reality, in jest, or as a costume...

3. Have you ever written a song?
Yes... believe it or not... but my buddy and I were in college and at 4:00 am, we wrote a song called. "Your Mother is a Hermaphrodie." That's right... you read it correctly. It was a popular song and came out years before that South Park Who is Cartman's Father? episode.

4. Can you make change for a dollar right now?
I can never make change for a dollar. I really hate what I consider to be called "Old Man Jingle" Old Man JIngle is when a guy gets really old and he wears his pants over and over again...and for some reason..never emptied his pockets. The pants then jingle and jingle and jingle. Come on... you all know someone like that!

5. Have you ever been in the opposite sex's public toilet?
On a regular basis actually. I go to this deli sometimes and the guy's bathroom is always broken. Thus... I have to use the women's bathroom.

6. Have you ever smelled your own feet?
You gotta be kidding me...this is a question?...as though this is something weird? Of course I do...

7. Do you like ketchup on or beside your fries?
I don't care as long as it isn't POURED onto the fries.

8. Can you touch your tongue to your nose?
Hell yeah! It is a great party trick, but I always seem to get caught without a tissue when I do this. That is bad.. as I inevitably get my own spit all over my lip.

9. Have you ever been a boy/girl scout?
I never made it to Boy Scout... but I was a Webelos. I wanted to play soccer... Boy Scouts would have goten in the way.

10. Have you ever broken a mirror?
I can actually say that I don't know. If I did... I used up all the bad luck as 2004 was my best year yet.

11. Have you ever put your tongue on a frozen pole?
Oh god... no... I knew that I wouldn't be able to touch my nose if I ever lost it. I didn't want to take that risk.

12. What is your biggest pet peeve?
I am pretty sure that it is smoking.. but this blog may expose more.

13. Do you slurp your drink after it's gone?
Not regularly... but I do it to annoy people... especially if it was something that that other people wanted... note ... the ED in wanted.

14. Have you ever blown bubbles in your milk?
Dumb question... as an adult... every chance I get...keeps ya young.

15. Would you rather eat a Big Mac or a Whopper?
I would have said Whopper until I saw Super Size Me... now I say... neither...

16. Have you ever gone skinny-dipping?
Yeup.. No more explanation needed...

17. When you are at the grocery store, do you ask for paper or plastic?
I use plastic, because I use the bags in packaging my eBay items. They serve a purpose.. otherwise I would still get the plastic but I would recycle them.

18. True or false would you rather eat pizza than steak?
False -- A good juicy steak is a perfect meal.

19. Did you have a baby blanket?
I really don't remember. I probably did though.

20. Have you ever tried to cut your own hair?
I have.cut my own hair before, but the more interesting story was when I set up a barbership under the deck at my next door neighbor's house. Between Chris F. and myself, we must have destroyed the haircuts of about 8 or 9 kids -- including muh brothers. I got in some trouble for that. APparently... 10 year olds (I think that is how old I was) should "know better."

21. Have you ever sleepwalked?
On purpose? Yes... *wink* *wink* Because I have a problem? I don't think so.

22. Have you ever had a birthday party at McDonalds?
Again... I really don't remember. I am pretty sure that I have been to a bunch of them.

23. Can you flip your eye-lids up?
No, but Jimmy Sullivan used to do it and it used to annoy the crap out of me. Dman those bloodshot eyelids...Damn them all!!!

24. Are you double jointed?
No..but it is a dream of mine...

25. If you could be any age, what age would you be?
I like where I am right now... everything is perfect...

26. Have you ever got gum stuck in you hair?
I think that is what spawned the aforementioned barber shop.

27. Have you ever thrown up after a roller coaster ride?
I try not to go on rollercoasters... That way... I don't have to know.

28. What is your dream car?
A 2003 Blue Buick LeSabre....

29. What is your favorite cartoon of all time?
As an adult... South Park. As a child... Star Blazers.

30. Would you go swimming in shallow waters where, one year earlier, a shark had attacked a child?
Give me a break...

31. Have you ever eaten a dog biscuit?
Yes... Crap... now i feel I owe an explanation. I made some money.

32. If so, would you eat another one?
Sure... for a bunch more money....

33. If you were in a car sinking in a lake, what would you do first?
This is another dumb question... I would call upon the powers of "Jason" and have him arise from the dead and bring me to the surface... (What ws more stupid.. the answer or the question?)

34. Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?
Yeup... twice.

35. Can you pick something up with your toes?
Yes..I especially like to use that talent when I drop popcorn on the floor.

36. How many remote controls do you have in your house?
I can think of about 9 or 10. Five for the living room alone. Universal my ass...

37. Have you ever fallen asleep in school?
Here's the funny thing... it ws during New Jersey Politics. Every week on Friday from 8 to 12.

38. How many times have you flown in an airplane in the last year?
6 times... 4 for our honeymoon.

39. How many foreign countries have you visited?
Before October, it would have been one. Now... I am up to 5 -- Greece, Italy, Croatia, Germany, and Canada.

40. If you were out of shape, would you compete in a triathlon if you were somehow guaranteed to win a big, gaudy medal?
Yes...

41. Would you rather be rich and unhappy, or poor and happy?
Poor and happy. I've never been rich and unhappy, but I've been poor and happy and it's not so bad. (copied directly from Karen.)

42. If you fell into quicksand, would you try to swim or try to float?
I would try to float. I learned it from Days of our Lives. Tony Demieria tried it... he eventually sank...but then.. years later...he was alive... so I guess quicksand isn't so bad... TV told me so...

43. Do you ask for directions when you are lost?
Unlike the stereotype... I do... as I hate sitting in the car longer than I have to.

44. Have you ever had a Mexican jumping bean?
My new nephew has the last name Bean... he likes to jump... but sadly.. he isn't Mexican... so NO.

45. Are you more like Cinderella or Alice in Wonderland?
There is so much danger in answering this question...especially with how Amazon.com feels about me.

46. Would you rather have an ant farm with no ants or a box of crayons with broken points?
An ant farm... without ants... I just don't have the energy to color or take care of pets.

47. Do you prefer light or dark bread?
I don't care... as long as it has roast beef, cheese, and tomato on it.

48. Do you prefer scrambled or fried egg?
Fried eggs are the best... (Insert my brain on drugs here.)

49. Have you ever been in a car that ran out of gas?
No, but I really think there is someone in my life who is afraid I will one day...as when it gets below half...I better fill up soon!

50. Do you talk in your sleep?
I don't know... what a lame last question...and what a lame answer...

Have a nice Day.