Top Five Screen Actors Guild Nomination Disappointments & Surprises (Thanks Shari.)
1. James Garner for his tremendous Supporting Actor work in THE NOTEBOOK! Go Nicholas Sparks... this is the credibility you need!!!!
2. Barry Pepper was nominated for his portrayal of Dale Earnhardt. How did anything from this SH*Tfest get nominated? Man...
3. Sopranos nominations - The show continues to go on the decline and I cannot condone rewarding the actors anymore for the crap they are in. Yet... I will still watch it when the next season comes out....maybe...just maybe... they will film a scene in Metuchen.
4. Desperate Housewives -- This crap gets nominated? I don't care if 26 million people like it. 18 liked Melrose Place... it doesn't mean the acting is good.
5. Charlie Sheen was nominated. Now... let's nominate this keyboard....
Top Five Infomercials That You Want to Turn Off, But Can't. (Thanks Jenni)
1. Anything with Ron Popeil actually selling the product.
2. That hair in a can informercial that used to run... I loved it.
3. Any informercial that sells real estate secrets. I can tell you that if I had some awesome secrets... I sure as heck woulnd't be sharing them with anyone.
4. Any infomercial that had that overzealous British or Aussie guy selling me car cleaners... No!!! don't pour sodium bituminewsinate on that car!... oh wait.. you have that cleaner... all is right in the world.
5. That informercial where they sell that very miniblender type thing. I love it when they make two different kinds of desserts in SECONDS!... and... it is easy to clean...
Top Five Songs You Can't Get out of Your Head Once You Have Heard Them (Thanks Jenni)
1. In the Ghetto...by Elvis ...
2. Luka by Suzanne Vega...
3. That damn diner and do do do do do do song by Suzanne Vega...
4. Who knows... I can't get 1-3 out of my head!!!
5. Dammit... I still can't..... ARRRRGGGHHHHH!!!!
Top Five Reasons Why Randy Moss is Funny as Heck (Thanks muh Brain)
1. Super Afro
2. He managed to make Joe Buck look like a complete jackass but not doing anything.
3. That moon thing he did was brilliant and if he gets fined for doing something funny like that... someone needs to be shot... I mean.. seriously folks... loosen the hell up.
4. He managed to cause more controversy by essentially pointing to his butt then Mickey Rooney who exposed it for a television ad that you will never see.
5. That afro really needs a second mention.
Top Five Things to Do During a Power Outage (Thanks Dan.)
1. Light up all the candles from your sister in law's wedding five years ago.
2. Make sweet love... down by the river. (Let's see who gets that reference)
3. Talk to your friend on the cell phone because he is trapped in an ATM vestibule with a model (Who gets that one too?)
4. Run through the streets naked. No one will see you anyway. Side note... try and time this with a new moon... not a full moon as your moon will be the only one seen.
5. Eat all the ice cream... all of it.
Honorable mention -- look for band-aids as you inevitably will hurt yourself.
Top Five Reasons Why the Mets Might Actually Win This Year (heh heh...) (Thanks Matt)
1. Pedro Martinez
2. Willie Randolph
3. Their new television network.
4. Carlos Beltran
5. The East sucks
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2 comments:
Wow, so much to say to this one. First, way to go SAG for recognizing how much Jennifer Garner kicks @ss. Secondly, boo to SAG for failing to recognize how much Marcia Cross kicks @ss. I happen to very much enjoy Desperate Housewives and I think the acting is great. SO I am giving you a raspberry. Third, my friend Karla hosted an infomercial for zone chefs. I haven't seen it but it should be hilarious considering her retelling of some of the stories of things that went on during production. Fourth, the only thing I can think of "down by the river" is a van...with Chris Farley. And finally, "I am trapped in an ATM vestibule with Jill Goodacre" --Chandler Bing. :)
-Shari
first of all...what is wrong with barry pepper? i haven't seen this particular film but he was awesome in *46 (or whatever the hell that was) and DEFINITELY was good in 25th hour (but, of course, did not hold a candle to edward norton's performance, but, then who could? and philip seymour hoffman was pretty damn good too. and rosario dawson's silver dress...yum.). i agree with muh sister about jennifer garner and ESP marcia cross. while desperate housewives is admittedly campy, she does an AMAZING job. better than teri hatcher in my opinion (but i love both her and susan). as for the infomercial, karla's was also one that came to mind. songs i can't get out of my head: can't get you out of my head by kylie minogue and lady by lenny kravitz (see jennifer garner references). and in a power outage, be sure to make smores over your gas burners using chopsticks to hold the marshmallows.
mara
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