"Raise".... DENIED!!!!

I, the Penis, hereby request a raise in salary for the following reasons:

* I do physical labor.
* I work at great depths.
* I plunge headfirst into everything I do.
* I do not get weekends or holidays off.
* I work in a damp environment.
* I work ina dark area with poor ventilation.
* I work in an area with high temperatures.
* My work exposes me to contagious diseases.

Sincerely,

The Penis

***

Dear Mr. Penis,

After assessing your request and considering the
arguments you have raised, the
administration rejects your request for the following
reasons:

* You do not work eight hours straight.
* You fall asleep after brief work periods.
* You do not always follow the orders of the management team.
* You do not stay in your designated area and are
often seen visiting other locations.
* You do not take initiative.
* You need to be pressured and stimulated in order to
start working.
* You leave the workplace rather messy at the end of
your shift.
* You don't always observe necessary safety
regulations, such as wearing the correct
protective clothing.
* You will retire well before you are 65.
* You are unable to work double shifts.
* You sometimes leave your designated work area before
you have completed the
assigned task.

And if that were not enough, you are constantly seen
entering and exiting the workplace carrying two suspicious looking bags.

Sincerely,

The Management