Dancing With the Stars Comes To An End...

LIVE!!!!!!!!!!!

Wait a minute... is this really a two hour show? Jesus...

We start with another recap... and I am not going to say anything about it... except that I need a nap... phew... with just three competitors... the recap goes by so quickly...

It's now the first time that Samantha gets to interview the contestestants and ask the stars how nervous they are...

Tom says... that in five seasons... only once has the highest point scorer won the title... interesting....

Usher sings... and I fast forward...

They are about to boot the first person, but we are subjected to other finalists and who they think will win the whole thing... and now... let's reveal.. through an incredibly slow and agonizing method... the first couple to be booted and thus... finishing third...

The third place couple is... Cristian de la Fuente and Cheryl Burke. That makes me sad and I feel crazy because I should never root for anyone... but we get his final interview and a stroll down memory lane right before his final dance... a Paso Doble...



So now we have 95 minutes left... how the hell are they going to fill in this time...

Oh... this is how... I think everyone is going to dance again...

First up... Penn... and my former girlfriend Kym Johnson.. and an interview...
Second up... Monica Seles...and Jonathan Roberts... and an interview...
Third up... Steve Guttenberg and Anna Trebunsky... and... AN OVERLY EXCITED INTERVIEW!!!!
Fourth up... Adam Carolla and Julianne Hough... swoooon

DYFS ALERT -- DANCING CHILDREN

Fifth up... Priscilla Presley and Sprout.
Sixth up... Marlee Matlin and Fabian Sanchez.
Seventh up... Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough...
Eighth up... Mario and Karina Smirnof...
Ninth up... Wendy Joe Sperber and Tony Dovolani...

Usher sings again and I want to shoot my own face off.

We now will have a final dance off to get some more scores... interesting...

Kristi Yamaguchi and Mark Ballas are up first... They really need to screw up to wreck their chances of winning... but... as always... it was awesome... Their Jive showed why they are the best dancers of the whole season. As expected... 10, 10, 10... another perfect 30 for Kristi. 90 out of 90.

Jason Taylor and Edyta Sliwinski are up last and they dance a lovely dance and finish the season in a lovely fashion. Their scores? (like it matters) 10, 10, and 10 -- 30... Just to make Jason feel good.

Tom now goes to the audience and interviews many of the past players this season... even Priscilla... Shannon (CRY BABY) Elizabeth... and Mario...

Time to announce our winners... drama... drama... drama....

Jason and Edyta are not the winners...



Your Season Six Winners... Kristi and Mark!