Wow... another season is almost in the book.
Before we begin... TW predicts Cirie will win and I will go out on a limb ... even though I think Cirie will win, and I wil actually guess Natalie for the... anti-been here before -- argument. She is a "fan" and someone who fought hard and made it the farthest of them all.
Alright... it's time for the 15 minute recap of the entire season... We are reminded of several things:
It is hard to be outside in the raid...
Injuries suck and forced some people out of the game...
Women were the better alliance makers this season...
There were a series of blind sides that were awesome...
Now... who do we have left?
Cirie says some wise words.
Natalie is talking smack... finally... on day 35
Amanda is having fun...
Parvati is a no holds barred player...
One of them will be the SOLE SURVIVOR!!!!!!
(It doesn't matter to me because I have all four of them and Assshhhhfaulllt lost... again... MWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA)
We get a few minutes of the "girls" bragging about how great they are and the Women's Movement is set back about 50 years with all these "girls" references.
Time for another challenge... an IMMUNITY challenge and no one wants to vote the other one's off because of the love fest that has been going on for the past 15 minutes... I am annoyed and it is editted 15 minutes... it was about 24 hours worth on the island... blech.
Once again... Immunity is up for grabs... They stand on a pole... oh wait... there's more! They fill a bucket... pour into a tube... keys float up... they swim back.. unlock a box and first one to finish the puzzle wins......
Lots of gratuitous boob and cleavage shots... and Natalie and Parvati dominate the challenge in the early part of the challenge... Cirie... is last.... There are 16 ladder wrungs... Amanda catches up and she is kicking some ass... but she gets near the end and realizes that she must have messed up... but it's a ruse and she wins immunity... I fear this means that Natalie is now going home...
It's Day 37 and they now have to negotiate some stuff... Natalie is going to calmly and cooly try to do some more manipulating... Good luck to her...
Look... I love my wife and I adore every second with her... but as I watch these women rationalize and manipulate, I can't help but be ecstatic that I don't have to date anymore...
Time for Tribal Council and I must admit that I really have no idea who is getting voted out of this one... It could be any of them but Amanda unless something with rocks happens... They keep talking about blindsides and they all have weird smiles on their faces... The entire Tribal Council... I have to look at Ozzy's goofy and smug face and it annoys me big time.
There is a lot of drama as Jeff teases that it might be a bottom two... tension between Cirie and Amanda builds and it becomes rather uncomfortable for everyone... Natalie caused this and it is amazing... you gotta give her "props" for this even if you don't like her... right TW?
Time to read the votes that were just cast...
Cirie
Natalie
Natalie
Natalie
Thanks for playing Natalie... you made a good show of it. The Tribe Has Spoken and TW stands up and cheers...
Jeff says... "Once again you have survived and made it to the Final Three." That's vague enough that I am not sure it is a real Final Three or just the last three players...
Amanda and Cirie continue their drama back at the beach.... there's yelling and screaming, but they all make up in the end and there's crying and hugging and then... the making out... oof... that was gross...
Much like last season... Amanda is breaking down in the final two days... This will probably lose it for her again...
Now... let's get on to Day 38... finally... They let the chicken free (Gloria is her name). What a good time... but the chicken sticks around. They go get Tree Mail... and they are to honor each of the Fallen Comrades... before they begin the FINAL IMMUNITY CHALLENGE...
They are all upset because it will be a FINAL TWO... Jeff Probst is the greatest game show host of all time... and this all makes AMANDA cry again... I am so in love with her crying... not her... I just want to see her cry her stupid eyes out.
Cirie makes the greatest point of Survivor history... when she says that a Final Two is pretty poetic because they have been blindsiding everyone that they have now been blindsided... very true... very true...
Time to honor the fallen comrades... even though these three didn't know many of them... Johnny Fairplay, Mary Surtain, Yau Man, Mikey B., Joel (Meathead), Jonathan Penner, Chet, Kathy (Quitter), Tracy (Big Fake Hooters), Ami, Eliza, Ozzy, Jason, James, Alexis, Erik, and Natalie. This "tribute" was more annoying than usual since they didn't do anything but walk on the beach and pick up torches... and then lit them on fire... yawn... I have to pee...
So they arrive for their final IMMUNITY CHALLENGE and they walk up to some platforms... There are cylinders and balls... and they have to balance the ball on the cylinders... every few minutes... they add some more cylinders making it harder... I hope this one didn't go for hours...
Because I am sure he gets bored... Jeff constantly talks... and tells them all that they have to gut check themselves... Round two begins... Jeff... continues to talk...
It's almost ironic that all this "Girl Power" has to balance a ball... Jeff keeps saying... "Don't Blow It" and I am sure that that makes him giggle like a little boy.
Parvati drops her ball... hee hee... in a cool shot... we they zoom in on the metal balls that everyone is holding and you can see 3-4 people reflected in the ball... Pretty neat shot...
Last and final round... they are now to 9 pieces each and it is sudden death... no more five minute intervals... Jeff babbles.... and babbles... he is so amazing in that he is encouraging them and at the same time... fucking with their minds.
Cirie loses her concentration and Amanda is going to the finals... again... Both TW and I think that she HAS to boot Cirie in order to have a chance. I am sure they will all talk about it... a bunch... yap yap yap yap.........
We arrive at Tribal Council and what have I learned over the past 10 minutes? Amanda hates making any kind of decision.... Parvati and Cirie are trying to convince Amanda that they pissed off more people so she'll take her with her.
Amanda has to make a choice and is bawling her eyes out at Tribal Council and I want to vomit... she doesn't want to "hurt someone's feelings" and both TW and I are royally pissed off and annoyed at her. I hate her now...
Cirie is voted out so it comes down to two hotties in the final two and I am now firmly... FIRMLY rooting for Parvati to win.
Cirie has a really nice boot video that makes us both sad... she acts as though she really disappointed her family. That's not fun at all.
Day 38 took forever...
Day 39 finally begins... and the girls celebrate way too much... they are all huggy and kissy and I don't think that I am going to be able to type anything about their hanging out and self glorifying comments about how awesome they are.
Final Tribal Council begins... It's time for the other people to decide...
Opening Statements Begin... Amanda is first... and Parvati is second... They are both so nice that I am not amused by either of them.
Eliza is first... she doesn't ask a question and just takes personal shots at each of them.
Jason is up next and asks two decent questions to each of them that will probably shed some light for him... and... ummm.... him only.
Alexis is up third and she is looking lovely... She wants to know who is a better role model from Parvati and she chooses herself. She thinks Amanda is a faker and disingenuous.
Natalie is up next and she respects the other "women!!!!!" She confronts Parvati's flirt card and asks her how her flirtiness takes her into the bedroom... no one understands... but Natalie admits that Parvati even flirted with her! IT was awkward. She then asks a backhanded question at Amanda and basically insults her and calls void.
Erik is up fifth. He would have voted for Amanda... now... he is not so sure... and doesn't really do much but call Amanda a jerk.
James... comes in ... in sixth... and his feelings are hurt by Parvati. James walks away...
Cirie... steps up to the niceness fest and speaks seventh... She pulls out a classic question and asks Amanda to tell her why the other one should win the million dollars. She then asks Parvati to tell the jury why Cirie should be there instead... and she gives her real answers.
Ozzy is up and it is going to be all drama with him. His feelings are hurt. You put a price on the friendship is his crazy card... Ozzy would have done the same thing. He hates Parvati. Oh shit... he's not even in it for the million and he's pulling some sympathy cards... The hardest part for him was that Parvati took away 14 days that he could have been spending with Amanda... Oh dear...
Eight jurors... that could be interesting since there could be a tie...
Time to get to the vote... after a 15 second long commerciall... (God bless DVR.)
Erik votes for Amanda for no smart reason...
Dopey Jason is confused.
Alexis loves Parvati.
Natalie might actually love Parvati.
Ozzy actually says he loves Amanda...
Eliza thinks and thinks... and thinks... the camera cuts and moves to her over and over again... she can't make up her damn mind.
Jeff will see us back in the US for the reading of the votes...
WE ARE LIVE.... Jeff has longer hair and he wants to start reading the votes... (Don't forget... you WANT to see your name on the paper now......)
Parvati
Amanda (stupid earrings)
Parvati
Amanda
Parvati
Amanda
Parvati (4-3)
Parvati....
I am strangely happy....
Parvati is genuinely happy and I think that is the first time that I have seen a winner actually thank the jury that way... The non-jurors walk in and it's time to begin the after show...
I am not going to post anymore... GO PARVATI!!!!!
Tucker's Nuts
6. Parvati Shallow (12) -- WINNER OF SURVIVOR 16
3. Amanda Kimmel (5) -- FINISHED IN SECOND PLACE
4. Cirie Fields (8) -- FINISHED IN THIRD PLACE
1. Natalie Bolton (1) -- FINISHED IN FOURTH PLACE
2. Alexis Jones (4) -- Booted Week 12
7. James Clement (13) -- Removed from Game by Medevac Week 12
5. Ozzy Lusth (9) -- Booted Week Ten
8. Eliza Orlins (16) -- Booted Week Nine
10. Tracy Hughes-Wolf (20) -- Booted Week Seven
9. Kathy Sleckman (17) -- Out Week Seven -- Quitting Poop Face
ASSSHHHHFAULT
7. Erik Reichenbach (14) -- BOOTED WEEK THIRTEEN!!!!
8. Jason Siska (15) -- BOOTED WEEK ELEVEN!!!!!
1. Ami Cusack (2) -- BOOTED WEEK EIGHT!!!!!
4. Chet Welch (7) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!!
6. Jonathan Penner (11) -- Injured Week Six :(
3. Joel Anderson(6) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!
2. Michael Bortone (3) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!
5. Yao-Man Chan (10) -- BOOTED WEEK THREE!!!
9. Mary Sartain (18) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!
10. Jonny Fairplay (19) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!
No comments:
Post a Comment