Dancing With the Stars Week Seven Results

So exicited.... Def Leppard and Dance Center is on tonight...

LLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I bet there is going to be some drama tonight...

I swoon for Samantha... windblown hair.... I think....

Let's recap for ten minutes what happened in about 72 minutes worth of television when all is said and done... no really....

Jason Taylor and Edyta Sliwinski have been asked to re-create their Quick Step... and Edyta found that classy and sexy dress from last night.... Just as good the second time... and Damn!!! Tom says the same thing...

We get to find out the fate of a couple pretty early in the show... yay! But first... Len tells us and the couples that next week, each of the stars is allowed to do one lift per dance each...

The first couple to be saved is Kristi Yamaguchi and Mark Ballas

Dance Center is up next... !!!!!!! I am not even going to recap this because this is really really really really funny. Kenny Mayne, Jerry Rice, and Len Goodman all played well off each other. THis is a two part gag... and they tease Cristian, Mario, and Shannon.

Def Leppard ruins my childhood with a totally weak ass lip synched version of Pour Some Sugar on Me. Crap... The saving grace of the number is that the professional dancers are all wearing awesome leather outfits...

Time for my favorite drunk host to interview Kristi and Jason...

Dance Center Part Two is up and Jerry Rice has the best line f the night with Kristi YamaHoochie.... They resort to fart humor... and... it totally works...

The second couple who has been saved is... Mario and Karina Smirnoff

Def Leppard is back with one of their new songs... and I think he might be singing it... but alas... I doubt it... The most disturbing part of the performance is the "action camera angle" on the drummer who has one frigging arm and is 800 years old...

Let's look at a video montage... and we learn something... the stars are stressed out...

Time to learn the fate of our final four competitors.... Drama... Tom and Samantha talk to them and build up the drama... and then?!?!? COMMERCIAL! Pricks!!!

They bring Cristian and Cheryl down to give us an update on his arm... He's had an MRI and his tendon was ruptured but he needs surgery... the doctor will delay the surgery if Cristian isn't voted out... soooo he swings his ass back up on the stage...

Time to continue the elimination....

The third couple saved is... Cristian de la Fuente and Cheryl Burke
The fourth couple saved is... Jason Taylor and Edyta Sliwinski

It is down to Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough and Wendy Joe Sperber and Tony Dovolani

Shannon and Derek are eliminated but here is the good news... Wendy Jo was in the bottom two!!!!!

Bye Bye Nadia ....

Dancing With the Stars Week 7

And soooo we begin this episode at 10:00 at night because we were out at a family affair...

We have eliminated half the contestants and we have only 3 to 4 episodes left...

LLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Samantha is wearing a dress that is not normal for her... yet I think it works.

Everyone is doing two dances this week... We kick off the BALLROOM ROUND...

Marissa Janet Winouker and Tony Dovolani are up first and Marissa can't believe that she is still in the show... neither can I ... She has to do the Rumba where she has to do some sexy stuff... This ought to be good, but I am sure that the judges will like her... Tangent Woman thinks she is getting better... The judges adored her... I just don't get it...

It has taken me seven weeks, but I have finally figured out who Marissa Jaret Winouker reminds me of... Wendy Joe Sperber... you remember her... she was the fat annoying friend that loved Henry on Bosom Buddies...

Marissa's scores ARE good... let's see what she gets... 9, 9, 9 -- 27...

Cristian de la Fuente and Cheryl Burke are up second. The Viennese Waltz and the Samba are in store for Cristian..... Each week... he actually cracks me up more... and I can't help buy like him more... He uses his daughter for a sympathy vote and it worked with me... cute little kid. The dance was awesome... that was an awesome spin with one hand and he so gracefully grabbed the second hand! The judges are hard on him... I don't like that at all. 8, 8, 9 -- 25... so harsh...

Kristi Yamaguchi and Mark Ballas are up next... Just a reminder... she got a perfect score last week... so they feel the pressure of the perfection as they prepare the Viennese Waltz and the Cha Cha.... Hey... here's an idea... do some figure skating in the intro... Voila! I am amazing... Here comes the dance... Ok ok ok... I get it... she is the best dancer by far... and in terms of dancing... she should win... The judges didn't like the props (umbrella) and thought it was a bit off... yet... they get 9, 8, 9 -- 26

Mario and Karina Smirnoff dance fourth as the show continues to push the time limits... getting in 12 dances in 1 hour and 38 minutes... Mario talks about how hard it is... as he prepares for the Foxtrot. Mario can dance because that's what he does for a living... why can't he practice full time? He has to learn new dance moves for his new music video... I mean... hello people... it's his career... They dance is good. The judges aren't big fans... 8, 8, 8 -- 24

Tomorrow is Def Leppard and Dance Center!!!!!!!

Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough are up... Don't forget that they had a mental breakdown on the show last week. They are doing the Tango and the music that they have to dance too is horrible...... I bet the judges will hate it and kill her for it. Bruno loved it... Carrie Ann loved it... Len adored it... 9, 9, 9 -- 27 HEr best score yet.

Their 100th episode is next week. Wow...

Jason Taylor and Edyta Sliwinksa are up next. They are doing the Paso Doble and the Quick Step.... He goes with the Quick Step first... Edyta's dress is classy and revealing... How she pulls that off is amazing. Great dance... and the judges adored it. Their scores you ask? 10, 9, 10 -- 29...

Now... it's time for the LATIN ROUND...

Wendie Joe Sperber and Tony are up... dancing the Rumba... so she has to be sexy again... I can't stand her so much... that I cannot be objective on this... Their scores...9, 8, 8 (25) + the 27 is a total score of... 52.

Cristian and Cheryl are back with their Samba... Cristian is just pretty and he wears his sleeveless shirt with great hip action... or so Tangent Woman tells me... Wow... it was going well... and then the dance came to an end... and it was awkward because he seriously hurt his arm. They went to commercial to get him checked out... Just a severe muscle cramp... He is visibly upset... They get graded... His scores 7, 7, 7 (21) + 25 - totals a 46. This is just so unfortunate and he looks really sad... I feel really bad for him because I like him a bunch.

Kristi and Mark are up. They are doing the Cha Cha. It's a good dance and a lot different in terms of energy than the last one... Len hated it... and Bruno loved it... Carrie Ann adored it too with three "snaps up" -- oh brother... Their scores 10, 8, 10 (28) + 26 for a total of 54.

Mario and Karina finish up with the Mambo. I got distraced by Scrabble and missed the dance and the ability to comment.. The judges really liked it... 9, 9, 9 (27) + the 24 from before puts him at 51 for a total.

Shannon and Derek are also dancing the Mambo... and Shannon has tremendously huge hair... She might actually be enjoying herself for this dance... The song lends it self to lots of hard turns and expressions... and the judges aren't thrilled or hate it either... at least they don't ridicule her like in past episodes and then give her decent scores... 8, 8, 8 -- 24 + 27 is a 51 out of 60.

Jason and Edyta finish up the show with a Paso Doble. Their song is the MONDAY NIGHT FOOTBALL THEME SONG!!!! Finally... a song... I can love... He's wearing his totally gay and dopey Miami Dolphins colors... but he is a matador... I am not sure about it... it seems a bit stiff to me... He had a lift though... 9, 8, 9 (26) + 29 from before totals 55.

Feel better Cristian!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Three Word Movie Reviews

April Fool's Day (2007) -- Unnecessary Remake... Passable

Awake -- Predictable, But Passable

Charlie Wilson's War -- Disappointed Me... Mediocre...

Christine -- Still Spooks Me

Cloverfield -- Completely... Thoroughly... Mediocre

Darkon -- Strange People.... Good

Day of the Dead (2008) -- Perfectly Suitable Distraction

Dedication -- Surprisingly Interesting, Decent

Fight Club -- One of Best

The Final Season -- Cliche, but Good

Hellraiser: Hellseeker -- Dumb, Dumb, Dumb

Hellraiser: Inferno -- Dumber, Dumber, Dumber

Lars and the Real Girl -- Great Acting... Good

The Memory Keeper's Daughter -- Dragged on.... Mediocre

The Killing Fields -- Truly Remarkable Film

The Music Within -- God Biopic... Enjoyed

Nancy Drew -- Dammit... I Enjoyed

One Missed Call -- Bad... Badder... Baddest....

The Orphanage -- Great Foreign THriller!!!

P2 -- Surprised Me! Good

The Seeker: The Dark is Rising -- OOf... Hurt.... Brain....

Sharkwater -- Powerful Little Doc

Sleepaway Camp -- Still BAD Fun

Starting Out in the Evening -- Surprisingly Sweet... Decent

Trailer Park Boys Season 4 -- Just Plain Brilliant

Trailer Park Boys Season 5 -- Cruising Along Nicely

Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story -- Same Joke... Forever...

Witchboard -- Cheesy Horror Fun

Jeremy Zuttah is a.....

.... Tampa Bay Buccaneer.

Go Jeremy!!!!!!!!!!

Ray Rice Draft Compilation Video

Let's hope this works.

Ray Rice Gets Drafted

The Ravens aren't far at all....

Let's hope the video works.

Zuttah is next....

Squirrelly Star Wars

This picture just makes me smile.

Survivor Micronesia Fans Vs Favorites Week 11

Sooo... we get a quick recap... Jason's a dope but he made it through because Parvarti led a brilliant little coup on Ozzy... getting him booted from the game. Seriously... I have said it from the first time that she was on Survivor to now... Parvati is awesome and should be taken seriously...

So... we are here the next day... in camp and the fans are all hanging out... Amanda is pretty frigging upset right now and pulls out her whining side... and says stupid stuff like... now I know they are here to play this game... stupid dumb face... of course they are... THEY'RE FANS (Granted... they are "fans" who don't know how to make fire... but FANS NONETHELESS!!!)

I am selling something on eBay right now... and I can't stop myself from going and looking... my addiction is back since I haven't seriously sold anything in almost a year...

Day 28.... la la la la... there is lots of ominous music and now they are focussing on James' finger... it is pretty gross and infected... and then they bring it around to have Parvati doing damage control with James... and it's one of the most awkward conversations in Survivor history... I am not quite sure if James looked good or dopey after that conversation.

However... Parvati is obviously controlling this game. Fascinating...

Yay... Reward Challenge time and it is one of our favorite challenges... the Survivor auction! There is a new twist on this... Monday is not allowed to be shared and neither are items. What did they buy in Micronesia? Hotdogs... Bats... octopus... peanut butter and jelly sandwich... bottle with a note... Natalie gets teh opportunity to send someone to Exile Island and she chooses Jason and he learns that another idol is there...

Now... Natalie wins an entire chocolate cake and she is allowed to share with 3 others and they have 60 secs to eat as much as possible... that is going to be fun... Erik offered Cirie $40 to lick her chocolate covered fingers... and she let him... ICK.

Natalie is talking... and she is referring to Jason as a "bitch". who knew that she was able to talk and so meanly at the same time. Fascinating...

So now we get to Jason out on Exile Island and he seems to think that he is a lucky fella and that he can trust people like Natalie... who was just calling him a bitch. Jason is really just a dope... a silly dopey... dope.

Sooo... the ladies scheme... and I have a headache trying to figure it out... and somehow... this has become girls against the guys... so arbitrary... again...

It's Day 30 and Erik turns the ripe old age of 22 and shows every minute of it......

The crazieness that is this season is best portrayed of some sort of spider eating another spider... thank you Survivor for that imagery.

Immunity Challenge!!! The scheme involves getting Jason to throw the challenge so that they can get him to play his newly found immunity idol. Huh? Right.. so the challenge is based upon old challenges.... Jason doesn't win... but it comes down to Erik and James in the final part of the challenge... and Erik does win a nail biter... Happy Birthday Erik.

Still annoying... but Happy birthday...

Sooooo... sooooo the scheming begins... and the scheme of complexity is apparently working because they are all celebrating something.... a bit later on... they search his bag and I hate to admit this, but I think that's wrong that they found it. He's a dope and will tell you anyway...

Natalie admits to being evil and she is having a lot more fun... as her strategy in this game switches from lying low to being a crazy bitch (by her own admission)...

James says to Amanda... "There is no way that dummy (Jason) is not not going to play his idol tonight..."

What do you think small universe of America? I bet he doesn't play it.

Quick recap kids -- At the beginning of the episode, I completely didn't know or care about Natalie... by the end of the episode, she is a crazy faced crazy face.

At tribal council... Yappy and Ozzy appear and the conversations continue to provide little to no substance except that James sells out Parvati to Ozzy as the traitor...

So they vote....

Jason does NOT play his idol.

James
Jason
James
Parvati
James
Jason
Jason

Final vote?

Jason

Sucker bites it... seemed like way too much scheming to boot a big dope from the challenge. Oh well.

Welcome Home Survivor Jason...

Prediction for next week -- Erik finally bites it... PLEASE?!?!?!?! (FOURTH TIME... REALLY????)

Tucker's Nuts
1. Natalie Bolton (1)
2. Alexis Jones (4)
3. Amanda Kimmel (5)
4. Cirie Fields (8)
6. Parvati Shallow (12)
7. James Clement (13)
5. Ozzy Lusth (9) -- Booted Week Ten
8. Eliza Orlins (16) -- Booted Week Nine
10. Tracy Hughes-Wolf (20) -- Booted Week Seven
9. Kathy Sleckman (17) -- Out Week Seven -- Quitting Poop Face

ASSSHHHHFAULT
7. Erik Reichenbach (14)
8. Jason Siska (15) -- BOOTED WEEK ELEVEN!!!!!
1. Ami Cusack (2) -- BOOTED WEEK EIGHT!!!!!
4. Chet Welch (7) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!!
6. Jonathan Penner (11) -- Injured Week Six :(
3. Joel Anderson(6) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!
2. Michael Bortone (3) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!
5. Yao-Man Chan (10) -- BOOTED WEEK THREE!!!
9. Mary Sartain (18) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!
10. Jonny Fairplay (19) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!

Trip to Scranton -- My Highlights...

So... as you may or may not remember, I had to go to Scranton recently for a work trip -- I drove in and drove out on the same day.

My event was at the Raddissan in Scranton and I live 2 hours away.

I first noticed that it was snowing in Scranton and a bunch of the people on the street were walking around in shorts and t-shirts. It was frigging 70 degrees the day before and many of the locals were wearing shorts during the snow!

I parked in the lot out front and went to find the meeting room where I would be holed up for 7 hours. I noticed that they didn't have any soda for me -- only coffee -- so I went on a search to find a bottle of Diet Coke.

I asked at the front desk -- where two cute girls with a discernible accent like Pam in The Office were greeting people. They informed me that the hotel with three restaurants had no store and you could only find a soda if you went up to the third floor to the hotel's "vending machine." I hoped that was a mistake.

I found my soda.

Eventually, I made my way to the meeting room where the table was set up in a large U shape to accomodate the 40 people, and I couldn't help but notice that there were salt and pepper shakers every four chairs or so... I must honestly admit that I had never seen that before and I have been to a shit load of meetings.

I also learned a new word -- escarpment. Go ahead... learn it too. Look it up.

Scranton isn't as much fun as Michael Scott wants me to believe, but hey... what is?

Just Getting My Goat

I seriously am going to say that I think this is a long overdue category... I am dead serious.

However... will the dude from Amazing Race and Jeff Probst probably lose to the douche bag known as Ryan Seacrest?

Yes.

Reality Hosts Get Emmy Category -- Award will be part of primetime ceremony


'American Idol' host Ryan Seacrest, Phil Keoghan, Tyra Banks and their reality-hosting brethren have been granted entry into TV's awards ...

The Academy of Television Arts and Sciences has added a new category to honor their work. The inaugural award for "Outstanding Host for a Reality or Reality-Competition Program" will be presented at 60th Primetime Emmys this fall. The awards are scheduled for Sunday, Sept. 21 on ABC.

"Reality television has become such an integral part of television and our culture, so it only made sense for us to create this new, highly competitive category," says John Shaffner, chairman and CEO of the academy.

Dancing With the Stars Week Six Results

Sooo... it's some sort of odd overly dramatic introduction... and Tom BARELY says my favorite line...

LIIIVEEE (That's all he gets tonight... phoning it in Tom... .phoning it in...)

Sooo... as filler... they have Ashlee Simpson, Riverdance and more creepy little bastard children dancing for judges' approval. I keep thinking that Chris Hanson will come out of the back to arrest Bruno for looking at the kids too creepily.

Look... as I watch the recaps... I really think that the judges are being overly critical of Shannon. She gets good/decent scores and they rip her apart yet they make excuses for Marlee and Marissa...

For the repeat dance... my eyes are once again raped with the group dance...

Ashlee sings... I barf... no wait... that's her... she's preggers...

First couple saved is... Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough

First couple in tonight's bottom two... Marlee Matlin and Fabian Sanchez

Samantha is drunk as she fails to succeed in asking a succinct and clear question of the two couples who just got good or bad news...

Tap Tap Tap -- that's not the sound of the Riverdance shoes... that's the sound of me hurriedly hitting the Fast Forward button.

And... the little kids dance and they make me feel as though JonBenet Ramsey is about to happen all over again.

We get a montage about how hard it is for the judges to .... judge. boo hoo...

Second couple saved is... Marissa Jaret Winouker and Tony Dovolani -- CRAPPPPPPPPPP

Third couple saved is... Cristian de la Fuente and Cheryl Burke

SUCH DRAMA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and we go to commercial... DRAMA DRAMA DRAMA....

Fourth couple saved is... Kristi Yamaguchi and Mark Ballas (Like they really had to worry.)

Fifth couple saved is... Jason Taylor and Edita Sliwinski

Second couple in the bottom two is... Mario and Karina Smirnoff

It comes down to Marlee Matlin & Fabian Sanchez OR Mario and Karina Smirnoff

Cue dramatic music and uncomfortable silence....

Sixth couple saved is... Mario and Karina Smirnoff

Tonight's boot is............ Marlee & Fabian...



I will actually miss her...

Dancing WIth the Stars -- Week Six

Quick recap -- Priscilla's boot has left everyone... ummm... "All Shook Up." Really Tom? Reeeeeeally?

LIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

I am watching sans TW tonight as she is on a business trip and that will not STOP me from watching this... Marlee Matlin and Edyta have the same dress designer this week... fascinating...

Jason Taylor and Edyta Sliwinski are up first... and let me tell you how incredibly adorable Tucker is. I am sitting on the floor with him and he keeps begging me for a head rub. Fun... EDYTA IS ON!!!! CHA CHA CHA!!! Jason was taught how to freestyle dance, yet it looks like everyone is doing the same dance... Oh lordy... Edyta's outfit might be her most revealing yet... (Hey TW -- I know you will read this as soon as you wake up... but ummm.... yeah...) and... that ending was... ummm ... Edyta...defined... I forgot to watch the actual dancing... the judges are complimentary yet... critical... weird... I can't predict their scores... 8, 8, 8 -- 24...

Samantha's drunk...again...but cute...

Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough are up next and by the way they touch and smooch, they are totally doing it... they are hugging and wrestling on the beach at sunset... it is making me somewhat uncomfortable... Rumba... dammit... I hate it... and they are killing True Colors by Cyndi Lauper!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was a pretty dance... mostly because the two dancers are so pretty... even in HD. The judges are somewhat critical but they are honest with them... I wonder if she will cry this week. THEY HAVE GREAT CHEMISTRY. Yeup... because they are banging... Judges score... 8, 8, 8 -- 24. It's all about tone as they were really rough on them verbally but the same score as Jason... Tone... Tone... TOne...

Marlee Matlin and Fabian Sanchez... Fabian was the world Mambo champ and uh oh... Henry Winkler was brought in to be the exact opposite of the Fonz... a big steaming pile of pansy. Hey... Marlee's deaf... Her outfit is incredibly small and tight and I really think that now the dancers are being expectd to do more... the deafness might really be getting in the way. It seeemed like a pretty safe dance and I noticed a few mess ups along the way... The judges are not as mean to her and they keep talking about her handicap... Their scores.... 7, 7, 7 -- 21...

Cristian de la Fuenta and Cheryl Burke are up next... let me remind you that they were in the bottom two last week and they are doing the Foxtrot... they are practicing in the pool and I am incredibly bored... Let's see the dance... Cheryl is wearing Snuffalupagus and I can't help but giggle my face off. It seems good and lots of fake feathers are flying off Cheryl. The judges finally really like a performer tonight... The scores -- 9, 9, 9 -- 27! They are leading so far...

Marissa Jaret Winouker and Tony Dovoloani are up next... BLECH. They are doing the Viennese Waltz. I really really really hate her. LA made a funny joke that they got the Count from Sesame Street to sing her song and I thought... hey... that dress is the same pattern as Charlie Brown... The judges love her... SHIT F&CK DAMN. I want to throw my shoe at the television. F&ck this... I am really pissed (for real)... 9, 8, 9 -- 26

Kristi Yamaguchi and Mark Ballas are up. Can she be any less exciting... WOW!!! She is now more exciting, because she was born with CLUB FRICKING FEET!!!! They are doing the Jive and in the first 10 seconds, Kristi is already better than everyone else... That was an amazing dance... I predict... 3 10s and I am sure the judges will match it with their raves... 10, 10, 10 -- 30 Well deserved.

Mario and Karina Smirnof are up last. I hate to say this... but Karina is much prettier now that she had the nose job... Mario pulls out the cell phone and talks to his brother... his 6 year old brother... so he dedicates the song/dance to him... yeah... "Let's Get it On" to a 6 year old... and it is an extremely sensual dance too... It was a bit to sexy... fr a 6 year old boy!... 9, 9, 10 -- 28...

Time for the Group Dance... The video montage is a bit to much of COUNTRY MUSIC theme... I totally need to stop writing and kill my eyeballs for witnessing this...

Now... it's time for the dance and it is unfortunately a truly horrrible song being done and MURDERED by the crappy Harold Wheeler band -- COTTON EYED JOE.... The highlight was Shannon wearing pigtails... and por Tony had to lift Marisssa... Mario did an awesme lift with Karina and we ended it with Jason doing some sort of awesome cartwheel thingy...... with everyone else... but I only saw Jason.

Prediction? Marlee or Shannon is on her way out...

Book 24 of 52 -- Blame It on the Dog: A Modern History of the Fart

I couldn't write the review of this book since it was such a fun book to read... so I stole this extremely accurate review.

After experiencing the sweet smell of success from his previous book on flatulence, "Who Cut the Cheese: A Cultural History of the Fart," crepitus king Jim Dawson has cut loose again with a sequel that manages at the same time to be hilarious and scholarly. Dawson's good-natured tone also keeps "Blame it on the Dog" away from being a bathroom book in questionable or sophomoric taste.
If you think that Dawson wrote in his first book everything known about flatulence, think again. You'll read about a modern-day Le Petomane (read the first book if you haven't yet), farting among the famous, farting among the fish, and a canine invention that Dawson is afraid will render invalid his brand-new book--or at least its title.

The book is so engaging that, after reading a couple of chapters (like the subject, the chapters pass quickly but their effects linger long after), I picked up the newspaper and read the headline "Spectre of the Future" as "Sphincter of the Future." That concept prevails in the chapter on flatulent robots, but you'll have to read it for yourself. "Blame It on the Dog" and its predecessor will make the perfect combination on your silly shelf--sort of like corned beef and cabbage. As Dawson said, bad taste [and I mean that in a good way] and worse puns prevail throughout. And it's all about flatulence. What more could you want?

Great Musicality VEN Diagrams or Charts Part II

Great Musicality VEN Diagrams or Charts Part I

Thanks LA...

SURVIVOR Micronesia Fans Vs Favorites Week Ten in the books...

So let's review... Jason is a dope and had a fake immunity idol for many weeks' worth of episodes... the dopiness continues... as the Merge continues....

We are now... right after the Tribal Council... and they are all talking about it... I am bored by that talk...

Ooooh... pretty credits... they sparkle AND shine...

We get right to a challenge... It involves placing a bunch of symbols on a wall and they pick their teams in a school yard pick em... I love these... Cirie is teamless and she is sent to Exile Island already... sucker...

There is a lot going on with this challenge and I am both impressed and annoyed at what I am trying to watch here... Jason screws up right away and because I can't get a good look at the patterns on the board... I remain frustrated... but the orange team wins reward... three dudes and Amanda are heading out on a reward... so many jokes... so little time.

They are going to "Yap" to get a little culture and a little food. They ... includes... Amanda... Jason... Erik... and Ozzy... I have decided that these are my least favorite four of the 8 remaining... and now I have to watch them enjoy themselves and it gives me a frigging headache...

So the natives are feeding them and treatng them well... and all the women were topless... Erik... can't handle it... he sees lots of boobs now.... and he giggles his way through it... There was a tribal dance and again... contestants are incapable of explaining why an experience was powerful, but they are on TV so they have to say that.

That night... Erik is puking his brains out... why? he.. "partied a little too hard Micronesian style." They really want me to like this kid... and I ahve the following words for you Mr. Editors... "No... no I won't."

Cut to Cirie all by herself at Exile Island on one of the worst weather nights of the season... I actually felt bad for her.

We wake up on Day 26 and James is making noise... which Parvati chastizes... James gets pissed off at her.... uh oh... the talk is now about Parvati... oh wait... it's pretty much just Amanda talking about Parvati... as she remains jealous...

"Once again... immunity is back up for grabs." Easy challenge... they stand on a post... and their hand is tied to a bucket... if they get tired and the arm drops... the water will fall on their heads and... LOOOOOSER.... Evil Jeff offers candy and Cirie and Erik take him up on the offer and drop out... Out comes EVIL JEFF again and Alexis gets excited before he announces what it is and falls... Alexis and James screw up and they are out too. (Ozzy, Jason, Amanda, and Parvati are still in)

SUPER EVIL JEFF offers three chocolate donuts and Ozzy takes them.... cocky f&cker. It starts to POUR and five hours eventually comes... Amanda quits because she has to pee. Parvati and Jason.. the two girliest competitors are left... 6 hours is elapsed. Jeff comes out with an obscene amount of food and if one of them steps down, everyone will eat well. He is getting guarantees that he won't be voted out... Everyone guarantees that they won't vote them out. The camera shows a bunch of them crossing their fingers...

Jason steps down so Parvati wins... and I get a sick feeling that all of these people are going to lie like shit and Jason is going home.

Jason makes a lot of stupid comments and everyone talks about how he was outwitted... and it seems like everyone is ready to vote him off regardless.

Regardless... Cirie is trying to lead a rebellion against Ozzy and it's fun to watch... as Parvati has gotten herself into a quandry... and is making herself a swing vote.

Hey look! That's Natalie... she CAN talk... I told you TW!

James and Ozzy are feeling funny and Ozzy will probably bring the idol to Tribal Council. *Yawn* I hate Ozzy...

Tribal Council is here and James makes some sort of donut analogy and this is when the light goes on that he is going home tonight.

Time to tally the votes... but Jeff asks if anyone wants to play the hidden immunity idol and Ozzy doesn't...

Jason
Jason
Ozzy
Jason
Jason
Ozzy
Ozzy
(Shot of YAPPY with her mouth wide open from the bench...)
Ozzy
Ozzy

BLINDSIDED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Prediction for next week -- Erik finally bites it... PLEASE?!?!?!?! (Third time voting for it...)

Tucker's Nuts
1. Natalie Bolton (1)
2. Alexis Jones (4)
3. Amanda Kimmel (5)
4. Cirie Fields (8)
6. Parvati Shallow (12)
7. James Clement (13)
5. Ozzy Lusth (9) -- Booted Week Ten
8. Eliza Orlins (16) -- Booted Week Nine
10. Tracy Hughes-Wolf (20) -- Booted Week Seven
9. Kathy Sleckman (17) -- Out Week Seven -- Quitting Poop Face

ASSSHHHHFAULT
7. Erik Reichenbach (14)
8. Jason Siska (15) --
1. Ami Cusack (2) -- BOOTED WEEK EIGHT!!!!!
4. Chet Welch (7) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!!
6. Jonathan Penner (11) -- Injured Week Six :(
3. Joel Anderson(6) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!
2. Michael Bortone (3) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!
5. Yao-Man Chan (10) -- BOOTED WEEK THREE!!!
9. Mary Sartain (18) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!
10. Jonny Fairplay (19) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!

One of My Heroes -- Dith Pran -- RIP

On March 30, 2008, Dith Pran of Cambodia passed away.

Most of you are probably wondering who Dith Pran is and I am not really surprised even though an Academy Award winning film was made about his life -- The Killing Fields.

His entry on Wikipedia starts as follows "Dith Pran (September 27, 1942 – March 30, 2008) was a Cambodian photojournalist best known as a refugee and Cambodian Genocide survivor and was the subject of the Academy Award-winning film The Killing Fields. He was portrayed in the movie by first-time actor Haing S. Ngor, who won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Actor for his performance."

During high school, one of my classes required that we focus on the world's genecide atrocities -- Cambodia's is regarded as one of the most devastating in world history.

Some say more devastating than the German Holocaust of the Jews in terms of % of population wiped out.

Dith Pran's story is amazing in that he survived the Khmer Rogue's destruction of the Cambodian people under the regime of Pol Pot.

It fascinated me then and it fascinated so much that I read everything that I could find on the genocide and became a bit of an expert in comparison to my high school friends.

I was asked to speak about the Cambodian genocide at classes throughout my high school.

Dith Pran's story meant so much to me that I researched as much as I could and even followed the history of the country for years to come.

I read a couple of weeks ago that Dith Pran had passed away and that he actually had spent much of his American life in the United States in the town a couple of miles from where I sit right now.

Dith Pran's story made me study history and I couldn't stop studying it -- so much so that I became a History major in College...

If I really examine the many reasons I have chosen the paths I have chosen, I have to give Dith Pran a lot of credit.

Rest in Peace Dith Pran and I apologize for not being able to express myself enough to give you the due that you deserve.

Please watch The Killing Fields as soon as you can.

Trailer Park Boys

So I discovered this brilliant yet nutty Canadian show called Trailer Park Boys.

It's wrong and stupid and makes me laugh a whole bunch.

Bubbles is awesome.

Dancing With the Stars Week 5 (Five) Results!!!!

LLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

Tom seems especially perky tonight.

The TW and I are both going out on a limb and predicting (sarcasm) Priscilla will be booted.

Let's recap... Priscilla sucked and Kristi ruled... Shannon cried a bunch... so let's go to Len who will tell us who they want to see again... Kristi and Mark are asked to do the encore... and we both think it was better than the night before... and trust me... I just don't want to like Mark Ballas...

Samantha is in the back now interviewing Shannon and Marlee in the back and it just comes off so fake and I cannot get passed a dude being the voice for Marlee... I really can't.

Some Latin band is singing... and we are fast forwarding... It is 17 minutes into the show and we finally get soe results...

They are going to tell us one couple who is safe and a couple who is in the bottom two... That's a change!

First couple saved is Kristi Yamaguchi and Mark Ballas...

The first "bottom two" couple is Cristian de la Fuente and Cheryl Burke.

HOLY CRAP... THEY ARE SUBJECTING US TO TEN YEAR OLDS DANCING... AND TRYING TO GET ME TO CARE ABOUT THEM. HOLY CRAP. NOW... SAMANTHA IS HONING HER INTERVIEWING SKILLS BUT INTERVIEWING 10 YEARS OLDS IS EASIER THAN INTERVIEWING PRISCILLA. The judges actually picked one pair of kids...

We get a montage now... letting me know how hectic SHOW DAY is as they prepare for the live show. Priscilla says that she "...visualizes nailing every... " I giggle... "step in the routine..." oh no... I might be bored by this...

The second couple saved is Jason Taylor and Esyta Sliwinski...

James Blunt and his perfectly coiffed (sp) head and ideally shaved face are out to share one of his newest songs with us... while two unknown dancers are boogying it up... the dude is just plain tossing the chick around and it's pretty awesome...

Samantha is interviewing Cheryl and Cristian about how much it sucks to be in the bottom two... of course it does and damn... he must be sad...

The third couple saved is... Mario and Karina Smirnoff

The fourth couple saved is... Marissa Jaret Winouker and Tony Dovolani... F&CK

The fifth couple saved is... Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough...

The sixth couple saved is... Marlee Matlin and Fabian Sanchez...

The second "Bottom Two" couple joining Cristian and Cheryl is... Priscilla Pressley and Louis Van Amstel...

They go to Len... for his opinion... his heart wants Priscilla and his brain wants Crisitan...

Let's see who it is.... Priscilla Pressley and Louis Van Amstel are gone!

F&CK YEAH!!!!

BOO!

Dancing With the Stars -- Week Five!

LLLIIIIVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

In case you didn't remember... they booted Adam Carolla...

FOR THE LOVE OF GOD AMERICA, PLEASE KICK MARISSA JARET WINOUKER OFF PLEASE.

Mario and Karina Smirnoff start the show... Mario is feeling a bit upset since he can't quite dance well enough for the judges so he goes to speak with his idol and dance aficionado.. Stevie Wonder... I kid about about being a dance aficionado kids... I kid. Mario -- in the most contrived method possible -- is ready to impress... Samba... Karina is wearing an interesting cstume... and in HD... it almost doesn't exist... Mario smiles his best Chris Tucker smile... His dance is fine and I smile. The judges like him... and why not? 9, 9, 9 -- 27.

Samantha has looked better....

Priscilla Pressley and LOuis Van Amstel are up next and they are the other pair that I want booted out of this show... WHAT THE HELL IS "BUSINESSWOMAN"? To me... it's code for "SPENDING ELVIS' MONEY" but I digress... I bored myself and her video introduction is over... thank god... Oh god... Louis is wearing another outfit shere his collar is higher than his ears... that freaks me out... and they are doing the Rhumba and it is slow and as boring as Priscilla's wit... Boring.............................................................................................................................................................................................................. Judges were disappointed... 7, 7, 7

Marissa Ass Face Jaret Fucknuts is up now... with Tony Dovolani... I have to admit that she and Tony were on The SOup this week and they had the Tangentwoman and I laughing our asses off... It was more Tony than Marissa though. She practiced her Samba somewhere and annoyed me a bunch... They are wearing an awful lot of purple this week... Tony is showing off his chest again and Marissa is doing her best Grimace impression. It was... ummm... her best routine... and it made me cringe a bunch... 8, 8, 8 -- 24

Cristian De La Fuente and Cheryl Burke are like brother and sister and they are dancing a sexy dance. They pull out a rather amusing comedy routine by pretending to be in a sexy Telemundo type show... that made me laugh... This Rumba is just as slow as before and oh my goodness... so much less rigid than Priscilla... The judges thought it was technically correct and competent... Their scores... 7, 8, 8 -- 23....

Half way there... I hate the Rumba...

Marlee Matlin and Fabian Sanchez are up... They are in a Central American country curing cancer... no wait... just deafness for little kids... and it's hard to learn a new routine in four days... I feel like I have heard this before... Time to dance chickadee... This is completely off... and the Samba might be the first dance for Marlee that kicks her... but by the end ... things seem to pick up after a cartwheel thing she did... the judges know she messed up a bunch and are giving her a "curve" type review because she can't hear... I almost don't think it's fair... but whatever... Their scores... 7, 7, 8 -- 22

Kristi Yamaguchi and Mark Ballas are up next... they were on Ellen today... still boring... but she is so incredibly sweet that it's ridiculous... Rumba is up next. She can't be sexy since she is a mom... Sooo... Mark invites her kids to come watch her be sexy with sme young hot stud fella... JESUS... WHAT'S WITH ALL THE FRIGGING PURPLE THIS WEEK??!??? Kristi is amazing... as always... and I might actually like the Rumba after watching this... Judges dug her... well... at least the male ones did... 9, 10, 10 -- 29

Derek Hough & Shannon Elizabeth are up next. Derek can't keep healthy... He was taken to the hospital earlier tonight with a bout of food poisoning... Let's hope that he makes it thorugh the dance... while puking... that would be awesome. Shannon and Derek are really touchy touchy in the pre-video... to TW and I... there seems to be something not quite right... but she is still better than everyone else but Kristi... The judges ripped her apart... and she looked really upset... I liked it better than them. 8, 8, 7 -- 23...

Jason Taylor and Edyta Sliwinski are up last... Jason is not feeling it, but he is going to try. He frigging pulled it off... that was a great dance... it was the only ong of the night that the singers were actually good and didn't butcher a song... 9, 9, 9 -- 27

Please vote of Priscilla or Marissa... Please America... I beg of you...

Bret Picked Right

Yeup... he picked right.

Survivor Fans vs Favorites Micronesia Part 16 of 18

The wife was away on Thursday so we watched this episode late...

We are reminded that Erik remains in the game and I am annoyed out of my gourd that they booted Ami over this choad.

Yappy Mouth is shown in night vision and her huge eyes creep me out as she looks like a giant Dobby.

MERGE MERGE MERGE MERGE... yeah... they are merging...

"I am in such a hot pickle," Thank you Parvati for that awesome quote...

At the merge they were treated to a feast and there was a bowl of bats... of course... James ate them.

Dabu... that's the name of the new tribe... and Erik lied about the meaning of the word so that he could name it whatever he wanted. I actually almost liked him there... except... he used the word foschnizzle in his explanation so... buh bye.

Alexis is snuggling with Ozzy and Amanda is jealous... I am surprised that there is a player named Alexis... she and this Natalie broad seemed to have been forgotten so much since the beginning of the season... Alexis is a motivational speaker... what does she motivate...

The editting is brilliant with Jason as he hides his fake idol... hilarious... because the music is awesome...

Parvati is cool and not as smart as Eliza, but I like watching Parvati outwit Eliza in conversations...

Amanda's jealousy is seen as pretty jealous...and it looks awesome to watch her get so upset since I still don't like her from last season.

Jason now promises Eliza the hidden immunity idol if he wins the immunity challenge. TW and I are really hoping that he does win so that we can see the face of Eliza when she sees the fake stick.

Jeff asks about the new name and Alexis announces that it is Dabu and that Erik told them it meant good in Micronesian... (which remember... is a lie) Jeff did everything that he could possible do to not laugh at them...

Immunity Challenge -- They have to wait for the tide to come and are trapped under a grate so they will eventually not have any place to go and possibly drown. The final three are James, Ozzy and Jason... James bails first.... I am rooting for Jason... even though hs is a tool... The editting is hectic and annoying, but Ozzy finally quits... CMON! NO COMMERCIALS... JUST SHOW ELIZA THE FAKE IDOL!!!!

One of my favorite Survivor moments of all time just happened and Jason showed Eliza the immunity idol, which was the fake one that Ozzy put it in its place. Eliza gasped at him with the greatest... "YOU ARE A FRIGGING IDIIOT" voice... "That's... a stick." You had to be there moment... but it cracked my ass up. The rest of the exchange was awesome too...

In lame news... Amanda tries to boot Alexis... forget about it... Eliza is gone...

Tribal Council is bash Eliza Council night... Eliza is obviously the main vote getter... but will she play the fake Immunity Idol that she knows deep down in her heart is the fake idol. She does! She looks silly... actually... maybe not... it points out that Ozzy has the idol... now everyone knows...

Eliza
Ozzy
Ozzy
Eliza
Eliza
Eliza
Eliza
Eliza...... bye bye...

Prediction for next week -- Erik finally bites it... PLEASE?!?!?!?! (Third time voting for it...)

Tucker's Nuts
1. Natalie Bolton (1)
2. Alexis Jones (4)
3. Amanda Kimmel (5)
4. Cirie Fields (8)
5. Ozzy Lusth (9)
6. Parvati Shallow (12)
7. James Clement (13)
8. Eliza Orlins (16) -- Booted Week Nine
10. Tracy Hughes-Wolf (20) -- Booted Week Seven
9. Kathy Sleckman (17) -- Out Week Seven -- Quitting Poop Face

ASSSHHHHFAULT
7. Erik Reichenbach (14)
8. Jason Siska (15)
1. Ami Cusack (2) -- BOOTED WEEK EIGHT!!!!!
4. Chet Welch (7) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!!
6. Jonathan Penner (11) -- Injured Week Six :(
3. Joel Anderson(6) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!
2. Michael Bortone (3) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!
5. Yao-Man Chan (10) -- BOOTED WEEK THREE!!!
9. Mary Sartain (18) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!
10. Jonny Fairplay (19) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!

Annoying Email

Why does this annoy me so much? Especially since I love my birthday so much? I actually received this earlier this week. The "_____" had my friend's name there earlier.

I can't believe its been a whole year -- just when you thought I forgot to remind you to remember my birthday ...

A little reminder that my birthday is today, April 9.

"Gosh ____ , why do you send out a birthday reminder every year. And why should I send you b-day wishes when you forgot mine, you little punk-ass!" Well, that's the whole point. Please remind me the day before your birthday so I can remember to wish you a happy birthday and seems as kind and considerate as you do now.

Also, let me know what's been going on with you since we last spoke!

Cut and paste:

->8----------------------------------

Happy 34th Birthday ____ !!!!

Fondly,

[Fill Your Name In Here]

->8----------------------------------

Garage Sale!

We're part of the townwide garage sale...

Wanna come?

Three Word Movie Reviews

Alvin and the Chipmunks -- Shoot.... Entertained Me!

The Apartment -- Fantastic Fantastic Film

Dan in Real Life -- Something's Missing......Decent

Donnie Darko -- Great Setup... Different

Enchanted -- Surprisingly Enchanting! Fun!

For Your Consideration -- Still Fun... Goofy

The Good Night -- Stupid Inanity... blech

In the Valley of Elah -- Emotionally Challenging.... Decent

Into the Wild -- That's Powerful Stuff

Jimmy Carter Man From Plains -- Slow but Interesting

Lions For Lambs -- Talented... wasted. Mediocre.

Lust, Caution -- Argh, Frustratingly BOOORRRRIINNNGGG

Purple Rose of Cairo -- Underrated Woody Allen

Resurrecting The Champ -- Jackson Good.... Interesting.

Revolver -- Fascinatlingly Confusing Boring

Run Fatboy Run -- Sweet, Nice, Clichety

Shaolin Soccer -- Funner in HD!

Things We Lost in the Fire -- Heavy Heavy Stuff

Trailer Park Boys Season 3 -- Inapproptiately Awesome Fun

Trailer Park Boys Season 4 -- Just Plain Brilliant

Trailer Park Boys Season 5 -- Cruising Along Nicely

The Water Horse: Legend of the Deep -- Decent Kid's Flick

We Own The Night -- Been Done Better

Book 23 of 52 -- Stephen White's Dead Time

Dead Time by Stephen White is the most recent entry in the Dr. Alan Gregory series, and let me be the first to tell you that White is back on his game.

Alan and his wife Lauren are struggling to cope with all of the revelations from the previous book, Dry Ice, as well as their new adopted son.

Lauren and Grace, their daughter, go to the Netherlands to find the daughter Lauren put up for adoption years before.

Jonas, the new son, is going to spend a few weeks with his mother's relatives in New York, so Alan takes an apartment in NYC to be near him.

Merideth, Alan's ex, calls Alan and asks him to investigate the disappearance of the surrogate she's hired to carry her baby.

There are multiple storylines that weave in and out of each other, but White handles them all with style.

Sam and Alan's relationship is unsteady after the events of the previous book, and through their detective work, they come to a new and deeper friendship.

White's books about Alan were starting to get a little stale as he and Lauren were a little too happy, and nearly every book involved some kind of danger for Lauren and Grace.

While I wasn't thrilled with Dry Ice, it should be seen as a pivotal book in this series, because it's turned everything around.

Alan is no longer predictable, flirting with alcoholism and infidelity, and even Lauren is hiding some secrets.

The series suddenly seems fresh and full of possibility.

Too bad I have to wait another year to find out what's going to happen next.

Dancing With the Stars Results Show Week Four

LLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEE

TOnight... they bring back the "bottom two." In the past two weeks, they weren't told where they stood with the audience... they narrowed them down to two couples, but that didn't mean they were in the bottom two...

They go right into a singer? Sheryl Crow... WOW!!!! Why even do some dancing... just start with super Sheryl Crow...

So... from the balcony... Tom and Samantha smile and act natural as we review what happened last night....

Time to have the judges tell us who they want to see again... they all disagreed... so they picked Adam and Julianne to go because they are entertaining... oh... and Adam was riding a unicycle... fascinating... since they were the lowest score...

Samantha... in her awesome... I am a host yet can't speak voice... talks to Marissa and Shannon... and sounds like a f&cking idiot...

They are going to tell us the first two couples who are safe... at the 18 minute mark.

First couple saved? Jason Taylon and Edyta Sliwinski
Second couple saved? Kristi Yamaguchi and Mark Ballas

Thanks geniuses... like we didn't know they were safe..

Dancing kids... *sigh* I can't tell you how incredibly bored I am... and how incredibly inappropriate I think it is that they are dancing the Paso Doble with each other... since that is a dance of sexiness and passion and lust... ummm... ewww...

Sheryl Crow sings again... and then we get a piece about how the professional dancers have to work hard... dancing... whatever...

Third couple to be saved... Marlee Matlin and Fabian Sanchez...

More inane Samantha interviews... GOD SAMANTHA... I LOVE YOU... STOP!!!!

Fourth couple saved... Cristian de la Fuente and Cheryl Burke
Fifth couple saved... Mario and Karina Smirnof

Sixth couple saved... Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough ...
Seventh couple saved... Marissa Jaret WInouker and Tony Dovolani...

Adam Carolla and Julianne Hough AND Priscilla Pressley and Louis Van AMstel are in the bottom two...

Let's see who bites it....

Adam and Julianne bite it.... Bye bye kiddies...

Dancing With The Stars... Week Four!!!!!!!

LLLLiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiivvvvvvvvvvvveeeeeeeeeeeeee

I am frigging furious... I accidentally deleted everything up until Marlee Matlin's dance...

HERE'S A MUCH QUICKER RECAP

Kristi Yamaguchi and Mark Ballas were first and near perfection. 10, 9, 10

Priscilla Pressley and Louis Van Amstel danced with her stiff face and did alright herself... I already forget her score.

Adam Carolla and Julianne Hough were funny and goofy and they didn't score well. 6, 7, 6

I hate Harold Wheeler and how he and his shitty band keep killing all the awesome songs like Billy Joel's She's Always a Woman, Steve Wonder and Depeche Mode.

Marlee is still deaf and their dance made Carrie Ann cry and she still got 8's from them all -- 24

Mario and Karina Smirnoff dance with her annoying voice. They are boring and I can't bear to watch them entirely in their video intro. The dance seemed technically perfect and there was a flip/lift thing at the end... will they lose points? No! The judges are out of control here... 8, 7, 9 Bruno's delivery of the 9 was awesome.

Bruno's jacket is rather sparkly...

Jason Taylor and my girlfriend Edyta Sliwinki is up next. The man is an excellent person and football player, but apparently, he needs some lessons in how to treat a woman like a lady so they go to Medeval Times... pretty amusing. (I hate Harold Wheeler.) The dance was mesmerizing... and Carrie is turned on... Edyta is extremely not American... 10, 9, 10... 29...

Samantha is drunk...

Cristian de la Fuente and Cheryl Burke are dancing the Paso Doble... so... I learned that Cristian is a really high ranking official in the Chilean Air Force. He is growing on me each week. LA agrees that Cheryl's costume is out of control. There was a lot of passion and sheer awesomeness in their dance. Len "liked" it and Bruno really liked it... Carrie Ann loved it... how appropriate... 9, 8, 9. -- 26

Samantha Elizabeth and Derek Hough danced next ... apparently, there was some drama during the week when Derek was taken out of practice in an ambulance. He hurt his next so he was not allowed to dance and Jonathan helped out the show again by filling in for him. THE DRAMA ON MY LIGHT HEARTED SHOW! Wow! So... Derek dances during the episode and the most painful thing is the singer from Harold Wheeler's band. (I hate you Harold Wheeler...) People liked it... Len thought it was the best dance of the night. 9, 10, 9 -- 28

Marissa Jaret Winouker and Tony Dovolani are dancing last...Marissa sucks and she is boring... Tony is wearing something really sexy for the ladies... He is super nice... caring... and sexy... The perfect fella. This season... he is totally taking one for the team. I can't watch this... the outfits are horrible and I need to pee. Damn being able to pause. The judges... umm... like her. Crap. They only encourage her insane reactions. Their scores... 8, 8, 8 -- 24!!!!

The show ends and I have a really bad taste in my mouth because I have to have that as one of my last images...

My prediction... Adam is going home and that makes me sadder than sad.

Grand Canyon Trip & Photos

While we were in Vegas, TW and I decided it would be fun to pay for a Pink Jeep tour, which entailed getting into a Pink Suburban with 4 other people and a private tour guide.

It was a good time for the most part even though we were a bit tired of the old and tired jokes of Bob the Tour Guide. (Bob's the guy pointing...)



At 7:30, we left the Bellagio and hit the road after picking up the rest of the passengers.

The first stop was the Hoover Dam where we looked at it in an ooh and ahhh mode for about 15 minutes -- just enough time to relax and get it all in.



The road and time were our friend as we got history lessons in Lake Mead and a variety of other barren land trivia until we arrived in Dolan Springs, AZ where Bob informed us that many of them had no teeth and liked to live in the middle of nowhere with little water -- even though he didn't know why.

Yet... he still stopped there so we could pee.



After desolate and dirty Dolan Springs, we made our way to the first stop in our tour of the Grand Canyon -- this was after we travelled about 20 miles on a "dirt" road that is regularly graded with a bulldozer so it is full of ruts.

We were loaded on a bus and driven to the first of two stops at the Grand Canyon -- Eagle Point. (In the picture below, you can see why it is called that as one of the rock formations is in the shape of an eagle with its wings spread wide.)



The big draw at Eagle Point is the newly opened SKYWALK, which is a glass walkway that juts itself out over the Grand Canyon. We did it and have very few photos of the SKYWALK since we were not allowed to take our camera on the SKYWALK because they didn't want us dropping it on the glass and to get us to purchase a picture with the Indians on the landing. (In the picture below, it is tough to really see how far over the edge the walk goes because the fence hangs out there, but it was out there pretty darn far.



After Eagle Point, we were shipped on a bus to Guano Point -- named as such because it was a point where bat guano (poop) was mined as it had many different uses in the olde days.

In the picture below, I have blurred out TW's face, but it is a great illustration of where we ate lunch that day -- right on the frigging edge!



The view was spectacular... simply spectacular...





After the Guano Point, we were shipped back to our Suburban where we eventually made our way back to our hotel.

All in all, it was a fantastic 10.5 hours of new knowledge and incredible views of one of God's great creations.

Including this ram near the Grand Canyon... just hanging on the side of the road...

Kittens

Little Suzy had a box of very small kittens that she was trying to give
away, so she had them out on the street corner with a sign 'FREE KITTENS' next to them.

Suddenly a big line of big black cars came up with a policeman on a
motorcycle in front.

The cars all stopped and a tall man stepped out from the biggest car.

'Hi, little girl, what do you have there in the box?' he asked.

'Kittens' Little Suzy says. 'They're so small, their eyes are not
even open yet.'

'What kind of kittens are they?' he asked.

'Republicans' says Little Suzy.

The tall man smiled, returned to his car and they drove away.

Sensing a good photo opportunity, Sen. McCain called his campaign
manager and told him about the little girl and the kittens.

It was planned that they would return the next day, have all the
media there and tell everyone about these great kittens.

The next day, Little Suzy is standing out on the corner with her box
of kittens with the 'FREE KITTENS' sign and the big motorcade of
black cars pulled up with all the vans and trucks from ABC, NBC, CBS
and CNN.

Everyone had their cameras ready and then, Sen. McCain got out of his
limo and walked up to Little Suzy.

'Now, don't be frightened,' he said, 'I just want you to tell all
these nice news people just what kind of kittens you're giving away
today.'

'Yes sir,' Suzy said, 'The are all DEMOCRAT kittens.'

Taken by surprise, Sen. McCain said, 'But yesterday, you told me that
they were REPUBLICANS.'

Little Suzy says, 'Yes, I know. But today, they have their eyes open.'

Heh heh

Survivor Micronesia Fans vs Favorites... Continues....

Just in case you forgot... Ozzy's still and asshole.... Jonathon is a hurt baby and Jason found the fake idol...

Side note -- I watched an episode of the live action Tick episode and Jonathan Penner was the main guest star on the show... He played an arrogant bad guy...now I am wondering... did he act?



Second side note... stupid DVR... frigging only taped 32 minutes of the episode for some reason... so now we are going to have to watch it online tomorrow morning...

Ami and Cirie are crab hunters and that was pretty cool.

Jason beats a rat with a paddle.

James and Parvati are complaining a whole bunch and James talks like a stereotype.

However... James and Parvati realize four people won't be strong in a merge of 10 so they are recruiting Alexis and Natalie...

Parvati is strategizing appropriately... because she knows she can't beat Ozzy or James in the final two.

No Reward Challenge this week... each tribe chooses one person from the other tribe to keep out of the challenge AND that person also gets individual immunity. There is lots and lots of strategizing... Erik talks and I learn to hate him more.

Ozzy and Alexis are chosen... weirdly interesting.

The balance beam challenge is interesting and Erik actually shines. Jason shines too. Eliza takes a beating and falls off twice. She later does something smart and outwits Erik... Silly Eliza. It comes down to one flag more each and Erik takes a rib shot... That really looked like it hurt a bunch. Erik, Ozzy, Cirie, Ami (not Ozzy) is going home.

Stupid DVR is out... so we will have to wait until tomorrow morning.

We watched the end of the episode online... Sooo...a boring who cares recap for the rest...

Erik needs to go and I will miss Ami now that she was starting to look good again.

Prediction for next -- Erik finally bites it... PLEASE?!?!?!?!

Tucker's Nuts
1. Natalie Bolton (1)
2. Alexis Jones (4)
3. Amanda Kimmel (5)
4. Cirie Fields (8)
5. Ozzy Lusth (9)
6. Parvati Shallow (12)
7. James Clement (13)
8. Eliza Orlins (16)
10. Tracy Hughes-Wolf (20) -- Booted Week Seven
9. Kathy Sleckman (17) -- Out Week Seven -- Quitting Poop Face

ASSSHHHHFAULT
7. Erik Reichenbach (14)
8. Jason Siska (15)
1. Ami Cusack (2) -- BOOTED WEEK EIGHT!!!!!
4. Chet Welch (7) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!!
6. Jonathan Penner (11) -- Injured Week Six :(
3. Joel Anderson(6) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!
2. Michael Bortone (3) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!
5. Yao-Man Chan (10) -- BOOTED WEEK THREE!!!
9. Mary Sartain (18) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!
10. Jonny Fairplay (19) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!

Survivor Fans vs Favorites -- Week Eight Debuts Tonight

Previously... wow... so there were some interesting developments this rehashed in the Previously... everyone seems to think that Ozzy runs the whole game and Tracy likes to annoy him...

So the episode starts and Kathy seems to be going crazy... why do I get a strange feeling that with her terse comments and violent bug eyed looks that she is going to kill someone... TW loves that she is more concerned about his washer and dryer than her husband and family.

Cirie is allowing herself to be funny again. She uses some of the best imagery that makes absolutely no sense that it makes sense... (much like my writing.) She has many funny things to say about Ozzy and his awesomeness and how she sees how crazy he might be....

Reward challenge has blindfolded people and loud people shouting directions and then they have to solve a puzzle at the end. The possibilitieis of collision are endless... and it doesn't happen, but blindfolds and screaming yappy princess directing them make me tense.

The puzzle comes and they start trying to punch in tiles that should just naturally fit in... Ozzy's team wins and we finally get to see a clean Amanda and Ami... yay... clean hot chicks. Tracy takes one for the team and doesn't get to go on the reward challenge with the team.

(Side Note -- Tangentwoman's venom right now for Ozzy is amazing... it is just getting rough and I am getting rather uncomfortable.)

As though I called it, Amanda and Ami get naked with Ozzy and they shower... It is somehow not nearly as hot as I was hoping for.

The other team has to suffer through a nasty rainstorm and Kathy seems to be going crazy again. She hates the rain... she hates the food... she hates the bats and rats and crawlie things... she hates everything... and thinks it is the dumbest thing that she has ever done. She keeps asking for hugs... I wonder if she hugs her washer and dryer... She is sending "hugs" and "signals" to her family.

What does all of this mean? She cuts off her hand and is forced to be medevac'ed out of the game. Did you believe me when I said that she cut off her hand? You're a frigging idiot. Everyone feels so sad for her and hugs her some more. Jeff arrives in his baseball hat (thankfully not one of his normally stupid hats) to accept her quitting of the game and be sure to talk to her on camera so America can see her mentally lose it.

Bye Bye Kathy... you are a quitter and sorry you couldn't take it but get the hell off my screen... She was on my team too, which makes me even more pissed off.

Eighth person out of the game -- Kathy

We are back and Cirie is stirring up the Ozzy is arrogant discussion with Amanda. Amanda -- Ozzy's new BFF and GF -- seems to be seeing it as well.

The Reward Challenge is next and Jeff updates everyone that Kathy is a silly quitty face. Another puzzle after some physical stuff.... Ozzy again shows his amazing physical prowess and seems to be dictating to everyone what to do... He is a bit over the top for my good. I hate the blur.... I really do. Ha Ha... Ozzy's team loses and has to vote someone off.

So... it's day 20 and we are about to lose another person. Ami is finally in the game vocally and has come up with a pretty good plan or so we think with the editting. Amanda is trying to repeat her dopey play from China as she becomes an annoying squirt who needs other people to dictate her votes and life. I really pity whomever she eventually marries.

I have no idea who is doing what when they enter Tribal Council... no idea.

Tribal Council comes up and Jeff leads another great one. Ozzy is identified as the leader and he shows himself to be the leader by denying it way too hard. Tracy makes a plea....

No one wants to play a hidden immunity idol.

Let's read the votes.

Tracy
Ozzy
Tracy
Tracy
Tracy

Bunch of cowards.

Ninth person out... Tracy Hughes-Wolf...

Prediction -- Erik finally bites it... the cute little puppy...

Tucker's Nuts
1. Natalie Bolton (1)
2. Alexis Jones (4)
3. Amanda Kimmel (5)
4. Cirie Fields (8)
5. Ozzy Lusth (9)
6. Parvati Shallow (12)
7. James Clement (13)
8. Eliza Orlins (16)
10. Tracy Hughes-Wolf (20) -- Booted Week Seven
9. Kathy Sleckman (17) -- Out Week Seven -- Quitting Poop Face

ASSSHHHHFAULT
1. Ami Cusack (2)
7. Erik Reichenbach (14)
8. Jason Siska (15)
4. Chet Welch (7) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!!
6. Jonathan Penner (11) -- Injured Week Six :(
3. Joel Anderson(6) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!
2. Michael Bortone (3) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!
5. Yao-Man Chan (10) -- BOOTED WEEK THREE!!!
9. Mary Sartain (18) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!
10. Jonny Fairplay (19) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!

Update From Scranton

1. It's snowing.

2. It's not as nice as The Office makes it seem.

RU Women Had Their Chance and They Let It Slip

It's a 40 minute game and they played really well for 35 minutes.

Good season ladies.

Good season.

Dancing With the Stars Boot Three Results!!!

Ahhhhhh... much to LA's dismay... we are watching DWTS on delay as she watches it live... she can't tell me anything so it bugs her big time.... We both love you LA.

My early guesses are Mario or Marissa.... Mario is pretty low and probably doesn't have the fan base to make it through...

Samantha is wearing some odd brown contraption.... and it isn't quite right on her, but she is still lovely...

Last night... Steve's partner was pretty sick... so he practiced with her husband Jonathan Roberts... For the encore dance... Steve did it with Jonathan Roberts... proving to me once again that man people have a great sense of humor....

First team to be saved..... Kristi Yamaguchi & Mark Ballas
Second team to be saved .... Julianne Hough & Adam Carolla

Kylie Minouge sings and we fast forward...

Third team to be saved..... Priscilla Pressley and Louis Van Amstel...
Fourth team to be saved.... "YES! Marissa & Tony" Samantha is on my shit list now for getting excited. Plus... I wish Marissa was the first booted.

Adam is getting interviewed right now and is actually making me laugh... who knew?

Lots of dancing and stuff...and they interupt our broadcast in New Jersey to tell us to watch out for tornadoes...

We return to Kylie's second song and she is in a borderline dominatrix outfit that is incredibly hot... and I can't over Julianne's and Mark's wrestling boots dancing shoes...

Again.. the tornado warning got in the way.... at least it interupted some hack Matchmaker time filler... blech.... Dr. Pepper Shwartz says that Kristi and Mark is the perfect match and the couple to beat...

The fifth pair saved.... Jason Taylor and Edyta Sliwinski...
The sixth pair saved.... Marlee Matlin and Fabian Sanchez...

Commercial...

The seventh pair saved....... Cristian de la Fuente (he is not related to Daisy on Rock of Love 2) and Cheryl Burke...
The eighth pair saved...... Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough...

The ninth pair saved .... Mario and Karina Smirnof

The Goot (Steve Guttenberg) is booted and Anna... again... can't make it far at all...

Not surprising actually....

Dancing With the Stars -- Week Three

Last week was marked by a double elimimation...

"Do they have the mirror balls to survive..." Thank you Tom Bergeron for the quote of the night in the first gasp of air that you took... You rule... (For those of you not in the know... the winner gets a mirror ball trophy that they all make fun of...) See? It's a play on words...

They get right into it and it is... Marlee Matlin and Fabian Sanchez... It creeps me out when the man is talking for Marlee... I really think she needs a female interpretor ... just for me. Fabian really is a pretty funny and infectious personality.... She can dance and although she seemed to get a lot of the moves right.... the beginning was a beat or two off... but by the middle of the dance, she was right on.... That's some skills that she has and she can't hear... (They told us that about 6 times this week.... ) Judges? Bruno agrees with me.. Let's check out the scores... 7, 7, 7 ----- 21 out of 30... not bad for Week 3...

Anna Trevunskia and Steve Guttenberg are up second and Anna is really sick so she sends in her husband Jonathan Roberts... and ther eis a lot of "gay" innuendos going on. Steve is still pretty excited to be dancing... good for him. TW says I am not allowed to make anymore gay jokes as The Gute is doing his tango with surprisingly pretty Anna. Poor Steve has such animated facial reactions that the judges remind him of that... so he prepares himself by wearing goggles and a metal bowl on his head... 7, 7, 7 ------ 21 out of 30 ... so a tie...

Cristian de la Fuente and Cheryl Burke -- Cristian is trying a bit too hard and Cheryl takes him to Sea World to meet a dancing sea lion... that's right... I said it... a dancing sea lion. That was fun.. he danced the Jive... and I thought he was good... and then he kicked the light right in front of the audience... Judges liked him... 8, 8, 9... 25 out of 30.... Cheryl acted surprised and screamed out loud... That was fun...

Mario and Karina Smirnof are up fourth and marioi looks crazily like Chris Rock right now... Mario performs at high schools and colleges. Basically... he is super busy... I am sure they will be good because he is talented...and although the outfits aren't that great... he seems to pull it off to me... (I am more concerned about how shitty this version of an already shitty song -- Roxanne by the Police -- is being butchered. Wow... Len hated it... "bitterly disappointed". Carrie Ann hated it too. 7, 6, 8 -- 21 out of 30... You hate it and you still give him a 6? Stupid Len.

Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough are fifth... busy busy busy... She's scared again.. and she is scared because she has to do the Jive and she is tall with long legs... Stacey Keibler didn't have a problem and she was the same physical type. I am afraid to make a guess about what the judges will say... TW and I both like Derek's choreography and I was about to be negative about it when he did a some pretty awesome final moves... Generally... they like her... 8, 8, 8 -- 24... and that puts her in second.

The Half Way Point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Adam Carolla and my girlfriend in a surprisingly interesting brown wig Julianne Hough are sixth... Adam is feeling like he can't do and doesn't want to let Julianne down... it was surprisingly sweet.. and that pissed me off since he is supposed to be a smart ass funny man... I enjoyed it immensely.... Carrie Ann thought he was sexy out there... that's all I am going to say... 7, 7, 7 -- 21 out of 30... he's currently tied for last with 3 other people....

Marissa Janet Winouker is on!!!! Blech... eat poop. Tony says that he is the Badboy of Dancing... ummm... if you have to say it... you aren't... Boring as poop... and I feel bad that Tony has to be her partner... 6, 7 6 ... 19 out of 30... This annoys me more than you would imagine...

Priscilla Presley and Louis Van Amsel and her face are up and it is surprisingly amazingly not nearly as puffy. I described someone else as puffy today and made TW laugh out loud... I am proud of that... Ok.. back to the dance.... umm... eh... HD is TOTALLY not a friend to Priscilla... 8, 9, 9 -- 26 -- the highest score of the night... Priscilla is "shocked" and nothing on her face is able to move...

Jason Taylor and my other girlfriend Edyta Sliwinski are up... Again.. Edyta has the most amazing outfits... Good dance... something was technically right but to me... something was missing... He is good though.... 8, 7, 8 -- 23 out of 30...

Last and not least is Kristi Yamaguchi... She is taken to an acting/performance coach so that she can act during her Tango... Again... she and mark ballas can dance... but she has not much excitement to her... The judges want her to open up more and be moer nasty... interesting and 100% accurate... 9, 9, 9 -- 27... highest score...