Dancing With the Stars -- Week Three

Last week was marked by a double elimimation...

"Do they have the mirror balls to survive..." Thank you Tom Bergeron for the quote of the night in the first gasp of air that you took... You rule... (For those of you not in the know... the winner gets a mirror ball trophy that they all make fun of...) See? It's a play on words...

They get right into it and it is... Marlee Matlin and Fabian Sanchez... It creeps me out when the man is talking for Marlee... I really think she needs a female interpretor ... just for me. Fabian really is a pretty funny and infectious personality.... She can dance and although she seemed to get a lot of the moves right.... the beginning was a beat or two off... but by the middle of the dance, she was right on.... That's some skills that she has and she can't hear... (They told us that about 6 times this week.... ) Judges? Bruno agrees with me.. Let's check out the scores... 7, 7, 7 ----- 21 out of 30... not bad for Week 3...

Anna Trevunskia and Steve Guttenberg are up second and Anna is really sick so she sends in her husband Jonathan Roberts... and ther eis a lot of "gay" innuendos going on. Steve is still pretty excited to be dancing... good for him. TW says I am not allowed to make anymore gay jokes as The Gute is doing his tango with surprisingly pretty Anna. Poor Steve has such animated facial reactions that the judges remind him of that... so he prepares himself by wearing goggles and a metal bowl on his head... 7, 7, 7 ------ 21 out of 30 ... so a tie...

Cristian de la Fuente and Cheryl Burke -- Cristian is trying a bit too hard and Cheryl takes him to Sea World to meet a dancing sea lion... that's right... I said it... a dancing sea lion. That was fun.. he danced the Jive... and I thought he was good... and then he kicked the light right in front of the audience... Judges liked him... 8, 8, 9... 25 out of 30.... Cheryl acted surprised and screamed out loud... That was fun...

Mario and Karina Smirnof are up fourth and marioi looks crazily like Chris Rock right now... Mario performs at high schools and colleges. Basically... he is super busy... I am sure they will be good because he is talented...and although the outfits aren't that great... he seems to pull it off to me... (I am more concerned about how shitty this version of an already shitty song -- Roxanne by the Police -- is being butchered. Wow... Len hated it... "bitterly disappointed". Carrie Ann hated it too. 7, 6, 8 -- 21 out of 30... You hate it and you still give him a 6? Stupid Len.

Shannon Elizabeth and Derek Hough are fifth... busy busy busy... She's scared again.. and she is scared because she has to do the Jive and she is tall with long legs... Stacey Keibler didn't have a problem and she was the same physical type. I am afraid to make a guess about what the judges will say... TW and I both like Derek's choreography and I was about to be negative about it when he did a some pretty awesome final moves... Generally... they like her... 8, 8, 8 -- 24... and that puts her in second.

The Half Way Point!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Adam Carolla and my girlfriend in a surprisingly interesting brown wig Julianne Hough are sixth... Adam is feeling like he can't do and doesn't want to let Julianne down... it was surprisingly sweet.. and that pissed me off since he is supposed to be a smart ass funny man... I enjoyed it immensely.... Carrie Ann thought he was sexy out there... that's all I am going to say... 7, 7, 7 -- 21 out of 30... he's currently tied for last with 3 other people....

Marissa Janet Winouker is on!!!! Blech... eat poop. Tony says that he is the Badboy of Dancing... ummm... if you have to say it... you aren't... Boring as poop... and I feel bad that Tony has to be her partner... 6, 7 6 ... 19 out of 30... This annoys me more than you would imagine...

Priscilla Presley and Louis Van Amsel and her face are up and it is surprisingly amazingly not nearly as puffy. I described someone else as puffy today and made TW laugh out loud... I am proud of that... Ok.. back to the dance.... umm... eh... HD is TOTALLY not a friend to Priscilla... 8, 9, 9 -- 26 -- the highest score of the night... Priscilla is "shocked" and nothing on her face is able to move...

Jason Taylor and my other girlfriend Edyta Sliwinski are up... Again.. Edyta has the most amazing outfits... Good dance... something was technically right but to me... something was missing... He is good though.... 8, 7, 8 -- 23 out of 30...

Last and not least is Kristi Yamaguchi... She is taken to an acting/performance coach so that she can act during her Tango... Again... she and mark ballas can dance... but she has not much excitement to her... The judges want her to open up more and be moer nasty... interesting and 100% accurate... 9, 9, 9 -- 27... highest score...