Who needs Linking Verbs?

I have been giving this some thought over the past couple of years. I hate linking verbs. They make everything so neat and packaged. They make everything seem so perfect and they make everything flow. I would like to propose that we rid the world of linking verbs and I offer up the following pieces of evidence.

1. How big does your smile get when a 6 year old does something messed up and he looks at you with those big eyes and says -- I sorry. How can you be pissed at something like that? It is as cute as a baby seal. Just plain adorable. The kid doesn't need a linking verb...he just speaks from what he knows. He goes straight from the I into the sorry. This kid doesn't mess around and is cute in the process.

2. Linking verbs represent too much effort in the MTV world that we live in. When I walk into a meeting, I want to demonstratively announce -- I here. I have eliminated an entire syllable and now that meeting can end that much quicker. Imagine if everyone eliminated linking verbs? Meetings would be over in 3/4 of the time! Of course, this would take some getting used as the first few meetings would be confusing to many people as they tried to decipher what people meant.

3. What is the most remembered Bible verse? 1. Jesus wept. Does that have any linking verbs? No. The Bible was a document void of many linking verbs and so should our lives today.

Linking verbs have been a great crutch for our society for many years. I hope that you will all join my fight to eliminate linking verbs! They are destroying our youth! And as the greatest president of our time has said... "If you don't fight linking verbs, you are un-American."