Dancing With the Stars Week 1 -- Show 1!

LIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVE!

We go straight into a hot opening with all the make professional dancers doing a professional dance. It's a Chippendales reunion? Jonathan Roberts is just too masculine... I am telling you.

Tonight is NIGHT ONE OF a THREE NIGHT PREMIERE and they are going to have to do two dances! Woooo hoooo... but we get to meet the stars of Season 9 as their parade of stars makes it down the stairs...

MEN'S NIGHT!!!!

Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnoff is up first. He's going to dance the Cha Cha Cha and is actually more charming than I thought he would be. His hair is totally spiky and he does a couple cool moves in his dance. He might be one of the people that i have to knock down right away because he has performing and dancing in his background. The ending seemed awkward. THe judges think he is full of potential and will be good later. His scores are 7, 8, 7 for a total of 22.

I'll say it. Carrie Ann Inaba's hair is atrocious... Ugh. She must have slept on it since she was hosting the TV Guide Red Carpet special the night before.

Chuck Liddell & Anna Trebunskaya are up second and the guy has tattoos on his head. I learn right away that he's a bad ass... but he is up against his match by meeting Anna who is a really tough teacher. He is rough... I get it. They are dancing the Foxtrot and the mohawk is covered with a top hat... You'll never guess how he dances... Stiff! The only saving grace is that he is obviously upset every single time he messes up. It wasn't good. Sorry Chuck. The judges thought it was good entertainment. Code for: Please don't kick my ass Chuck. His scores are 6, 5, 5 for a total of 16.

Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer is a longtime actor and a martial arts expert. He is very complimentary of Lacey who self describes himself as the Rebel of the Dance Floor. How much a rebel are you if you self describe yoruself that way? They are dancing the Cha Cha Cha to Everybody Is Kung Fu Fighting... uhhhhhh... The dance was perhaps a bit too gimmicky, but he is good and might go far. The judges were mostly positive. His scores are 7,7,7 for a total of 21.

Apparently.... this is the premiere season of the "Relay Dance." Tom explains it and TW and I are confused... perhaps they will explain later.

Ashley Hamilton & Edyta Sliwinska are up fourth and Ashley is a bad ass since he does a lot of dangerous stunts so his body is young but limited. Edyta feels confident and she looks wonderful... as always. It was a nice little dance where Ashley didn't have to do much. The judges agree that is was missing something... His scores are 5, 6, 4 for a total of 15.

Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson dance fifth and I am sad that Marie OSmond's brother is dancing with one of my favorites... Kym Johnson. Donny seems to be one of those people that asks questions and questions and he's embarrassed when they do intimate moves. Behold the power of the MORMONS! BEHOLD!!!!!!!!!! They are dancing the Foxtrot to All That Jazz. Great song and he has enough flair and charm to make me intially like him.... dammit. He's having fun and more. That could get infectious. The judges agree that his theaterics were better than his dancing. His scores are 7, 6, 7 for a total of 20.

Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower are up sixth. He is a professional snowboarder who has never seen the show. Chelsie is small but tough... so we have two shorties who are strong willed. He's obviously a dufus with a lot of guts and no regard for safety, but he seems interesting. We'll see. His dance is the Foxtrot. The judges were rough but enjoyed it. His scores are 6, 7, 6 for a total of 20.

Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova are up seventh. She was the pro dance winner from last year and Michael Irvin is dancing because he wants to beat Jerry Rice. I am surprised that he is allowed to leave his home town. Isn't he still on parole? They are dancing the Cha Cha Cha. Jerry Rice got a 21... so Irvin just wants to get a 22. He thinks ballroom dancing is really hard. Duh... 8 seaons before you... and I picked that up my friend. It was smooth and seemed lifeless. Boring and full of holes. The judges hated it. His scores are 5, 4, 4 for a total of 13.

Tom Delay & Cheryl Burke are up last and before I even see or hear anything... I am glad to see that Cheryl won't win again since I turned on her last season. His nickname is "The Hammer." Tom is in better shape than I thought he would be. He is conservative... In case you didn't know that. Sooooo... the Cha Cha Cha is going to be tough for him. He is dancing to Wild Thing and almost falls down the steps. Interesting dance. It could have been worse. That's all I got........ seriously. The judges were... umm... ok with it? I can't quite tell... His scores are 6, 5, 5 for a total of 16.

Tomorrow night is the lovely women... and Joanna Krupa is looking phenomenal. Tom interviews most of them.

It's time for the relay dances... the 8 couples were split into 2 groups of 4. They will all dance the same dance. The judges will rank them 1-4. First gets 10 points, second gets 8, third gets 6, and fourth gets 4.

The first set of four pairs is dancing the Salsa. They are Chuck Liddell & Anna Trebunskaya, Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower, Ashley Hamilton & Edyta Sliwinska, and Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson. We get a video package of all them practicing and talking shit to each other. It's funny and Louie Vito had the best line to Donny. "The only ghigh scores you are going to see are on your birthday card." The dances are completed and it seems that the judges liked Donny the best and he was the best...

The judges ranked them in this order:
1.Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson
2.Louie Vito & Chelsie Hightower
3.Chuck Liddell & Anna Trebunskaya
4.Ashley Hamilton & Edyta Sliwinska,

The second set of dancers are dancing the Viennese Waltz. The four pairs are Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnov, Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer, Tom Delay & Cheryl Burke, Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova. It's time to see the video package... and I smiled... uhhh... once. No one seems to really jump out at them... except maybe Mark.

The judges ranked them in this order:
1. Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnov
2. Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer
3. Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova
4. Tom Delay & Cheryl Burke

Scores... Just a reminder!

Aaron Carter & Karina Smirnov -- 22 + 10 = 32
Donny Osmond & Kym Johnson -- 20 + 10 = 30
Mark Dacascos & Lacey Schwimmer -- 21 + 8 = 29
Louie Vito & CHelsie Hightower -- 20 + 8 = 28
Chuck Liddell & Anna Trebunskaya -- 16 + 6 = 22
Tom Delay & Cheryl Burke -- 16 + 4 = 20
Ashley Hamilton & Edyta Sliwinska -- 15 + 4 = 19
Michael Irvin & Anna Demidova -- 13 + 6 = 19

Book 53 of 52 -- David Baldacci's First Family

First Family is David Baldacci's follow-up to Simple Genius. Sean King and Michelle Maxwell are summoned by Pam Dutton to instruct them on their next case. Before they can meet with her, however, they notice two men running from the scene firing their guns. As they investigate the house they notice Pam is dead, but, Willa, her eldest daughter, is missing. Subplots are plenty as Michelle, who is still struggling to come to terms about her mother's death, returns home to be with her father. First Family is a beefy book with twists and turns reminiscent of a roller coaster. Its politics and scandals are so complex that the reader stays in tune with the book from page one, and doesn't blink until the book ends.

Book 52 of 52 -- Stephen Frey's Hell's Gate

Stephen Frey, known for his fast-paced financial thrillers, turns 180 degrees into a more typical suspense tale that his fans will still enjoy. The hero's trust in people is shattered after the betrayal with only his brother as a person he can be rely on to have his back. He comes to town and quickly thinks Paradise but revises that to paradise lost as he now knows he has entered HELL'S GATE; with the infernos getting increasingly dangerous and the residents of this Eden obvious to him are keeping secrets. Hunter becomes a crusader with a belief in doing the right thing though the cost can be lethal. Still he is an everyman getting involved and by trying he becomes a superman even if he fails. Fans will appreciate Mr. Frey's latest venture as every man can become a super man if they only go for it.

Survivor Samoa Premieres!!!

Holy smoly! 19 Seasons... I am so excited... Primarily.. for two main reasons...

1. Russell Hantz -- I have never seen a season where they are promoting the hell out of ONE person before a season even starts and if you believe all the hype, Russell is the biggest douche bag that ever existed. I heard about his "strategy" and it boggles my mind on paper, but may be fun in the middle of nowhere.

2. Return to the Beachy Island -- Amazon was fine... Rivers are fun... China was different, but the game is best when it is played in a beach setting. After 18 other seasons of this... I am most excited for the beach setting.

2a. Tribes are Pre-Determined -- No more pickem and that crap.

Galu (Purple) vs Foa Foa (Yellow) arrive and Jeff throws a wrench and makes them vote without ever talking to anyone. Galu decides on Russell who was in a close race with mullet wearing Shambo and Foa Foa decides on Mick, the guy who loves himself. Interestingly enough... they both are wearing suit coatish stuff and they are forced to make an immediate decision... they have to choose who is the best swimmer for the first challenge... and the strongest person... and the most agile person... and the smartest person...

The first challenge begins immediately for fire... the first leg is swimming and Foa Foa has the lead once the leg is over. The second leg is a strength leg and requries some lifting of heavy log bundles and Foa Foa maintains the lead. The third leg is a balance beam with a rope twisted around it and Foa Foa gives up some of the lead but is still leading which allows the final leg of a puzzle. The winner of fire is... Foa Foa!

It's time to get to meet each other and for the audience to get to know folks. Russell is setting up alliances with the "dumb short haired girl", "even dumber long haired blonde girl", and the brunette to create the "dumbass girl alliance." For good measure, he adds the older lady cop (Betsy) who rightfully doesn't trust him. Thank you Russell for living up to expectations.

We meet some other players and then... we get to Russell H. again. He tells the entire tribe about living in New Orleans and seeing his dog die in the hurricanes.. then he reveals that it was all a lie... and it makes me laugh. He then goes to everyone's canteens and empties them while they sleep because he wants to make it as miserable as possible for everyone... even by burning socks... He just wants to show how easy it is to win the game. I am in love with this asshole... and he is nothing more than an asshole.

The next morning...e veryone is miserable and Russell H. is loving it... and so am I.

Immunity Challenge -- There's a whole lot of rope... running... ramps... and more... Galu takes a huge lead and it eventually evens out... the ramps get steeper and steeper... They then have to do a lot of pulling.... to pull the puzzle pieces closer... Galu is in the early lead, but the Foa Foa makes progress quickly. When it is all said and done... Galu wins immunity! Then they have an incredibly unsportsmanlikey chant and they go home.

The negotiating for staying and going is an interesting set of conditions... Russell H. is the puppetmaster and is making me laugh and he runs his mouth. With editting... it will be Russell H. (since some chicks don't trust him), Mike, Marissa, or Ashley. Ben is a cocky guy and the only other real memorable personality to me at the moment.

Time for the votes to come in... Jeff is going to "tally" the votes...

Marisa
Marisa
Ashley
Ashley
Marisa
Ashley
Marisa
Marisa (5-3)
Marisa

First person voted out is Marisa and we lose a smart and sweet person right away. Oh well... at least I didn't have her.

As we have done for the past 17 seasons, my buddy MB and I have drafted teams to see who will win. I had a good winning sreak going before Marc stepped in during the last season and toppled me.

Reminder: The parenthesis indicate where they were drafted.

Tucker's Nuts
Betsy Bolan (2)
Ashley Trainer (3)
Mike Borassi (6)
Elizabeth Kim (7)
Brett Clouser (10)
Kelly Sharbaugh (11)
Mick Trimming (14)
David Ball (15)
Shannon Waters (18)
Laura Morett (19)

Assssshhhfault!!
John Fincher (1)
Ben Browning (4)
Erik Cardona (5)
Marisa Calihan (9)
Russell Hantz (12)
Natalie White (13)
Russell Swan (16)
Yasmin Giles (17)
Jaison Robinson (20)
Monica Padilla (8) -- Booted Week One

Book 51 of 52 -- Janet Evanovich's Finger Lickin' Fifteen

I'm still amazed at Janet's inventiveness with situations for Stephanie Plum, but this one didn't make me laugh as much as some of her earlier books. Although I love Ranger, I like Stephenie's relationship with Joe, and I enjoy their interactions more when they are a couple. I will admit to laughing out loud, as usual, while reading this. Hard not to in any situation involving Lula and Grandma Mazur and an open flame.

Book 50 of 52 -- Faye Kellerman's Blindman's Bluff

You can't help but wonder how she does it, but Faye Kellerman has written another wonderful Peter Decker/Rina Lazarus mystery that holds your interest the entire book. I love the characters and have learned so much about them and their family that I feel part of their extended family. I want to hear more about them each book I pick up. And I especially enjoyed the way that daughter Cindy was brought in, just as might occur in a normal family - or not. Is this family really normal? I think they might be for a police detective's family. You can't help but think they are. Loved the book!

Book 49 of 52 -- Laura Pedersen's The Sweetest Hours

In a series of short stories and novellas, author Laura Pedersen explores relationships between people and character growth. Pedersen's strong writing enlivens each of these stories, creating laughs and thoughtful moments with even familiar situations. The story of Gus the dog, for instance (Gus Hunts for a Job) didn't exactly plumb any emotional depths, but Pedersen constructed it strongly, with plenty of vivid images of a dog's life--and the life of a college fraternity. The nerdy camp councellor story (Second Nature) is a bit of wish fulfillment for nerdy book-people everywhere. I found the story of the bookstore sister (True to her Word) and of the sisters (Irish Twins) to be the emotionally strongest and most disturbing. Each of these dealt with people outside of the mainstream of the accepted--looking for ways to accomodate the world--or to make the world accomodate to them.

THE SWEETEST HOURS is universally well written and interesting. Some of the stories seem dated, and some may reflect Pedersen at a less mature emotional stage, but this is a compelling set of stories--well worth the read.

(500) Days of Summer Moviegoing Experience‏

Previews

Precious

The Informant

Love Happens

Whip It

Adam

Really well told story and good movie.

Book 48 of 52 -- Stephen White's The Siege

I've long been a fan of White's, enjoying his books as better-than-average diversions...not my #1 favorite author, but at least one whose books generally keep me entertained from start to finish.

'The Siege', however... Wow.

He must have been taking mega-doses of creativity supplements, because this book is magnitudes better than anything he's ever done before, in my humble opinion.

The suspense starts immediately and doesn't let up.

The premise of the book is absolutely unique, unexpected and intelligently addressed.

The characters ring true in both words and actions; dynamic personal sub-plots abound but don't confuse the primary plot...and they're crafted without a lot of the boring old "can't work because we're just too sexually attracted to each other" syndrome that gets used when a mediocre author can't think of anything else to write.

District 9 Moviegoing Experience

The Final Destination

9

Sorority Row

Saw VI

Legion

Zombieland

One fun movie with good friends and good food before it.

Book 47 of 52 -- Christopher Moore's Coyote Blue

Christopher Moore has a knack for combining humor, horror and heart in varying but always synergistic proportions.

In this, what I consider one of his best books, the humor and heart tend to dominate.

You'll learn about modern Native American life, get a peek into the secrets of the insurance industry, and remember what it was like to fall in love for the first time.

Sam Hunter, an insurance salesman running away from a horrible but justified crime he committed in his youth, is chased down by Coyote, a common Native American folklore figure.

He seems to ruin Sam's life, but the plot twists and turns several times before the big finish.

Moore takes a few swipes at bikers, druggies, and Southern California in general before it's all over.

You'll laugh out loud, alright, but you may wipe a few tears away too.

Book 46 of 52 -- Stuart Woods' Loitering With Intent

I have read every single Stuart Woods novel.

I must state that the general quality (story line, characters, etc.) has faded over the last 3-4 novels.

Perhaps give Stone & Dino a rest and resurrect Holly Barker, Ed Eagle or a virgin concept (example: Prince of Beverly Hills) to get Stuart's creative jucies flowing again.

I had always read S. Woods novels at first release, but now I accidentally discover that his books are released...

Book 45 of 52 -- Ben Mezrich's The Accidental Billionaires

If you can imagine what it may have been like at Harvard over the years during which facebook was created, then you don't need to read this book.

Why not? Because imagine--even wildly guess--is precisely what the author did. He admittedly had no access to Mark Zuckerberg, and seemingly no access to anyone or anything other than Eduardo Saverin and the Harvard Crimson newspaper, which led him to choose a "narrative" style of writing, whereby he filled in the gaping holes in the story with his own, overly-blown dramatic tales.

The book is rife with "you can imagine...", "he might have...", etc. Most of the time, the dramatic tales are patently obvious and unnecessary fabrications.

Is this a carefully researched, well-conceived story of the "founding of facebook" as advertised? No. At best, it's a business version of the trashy beach novel.

I would give the book 2 stars simply because the author is a good writer, even if the content is drivel.

Book 44 of 52 -- Linda Castillo's Sworn Into Silence

Kate Burkholder grew up Amish in small town Painter's Mill, Ohio.

She was banned by her community when she refused to join the church, so she moved to Columbus to live like "the English" and she eventually became a police officer.

Because of her past with the Amish community Kate was asked to become police chief of her hometown, a job she holds when the story opens.

In a short space of time, three women are killed by a serial killer who seems to be the same man who'd stalked the town, murdering young women sixteen years ago.

Kate knows it can't be the same man, but she can't tell anyone and this puts her in danger, because the killer has her in his sights.

This is a very good read, however I was just a little put off with the ending.

I thought Kate should have played a bigger role in getting herself out of trouble, but other than the fact that the author relied a bit to heavily on the hunky, moody state cop to help out our local sheriff, I really liked this book.

Book 43 of 52 -- James Patterson's Swimsuit

I have read nearly all of Patterson's books and consider myself a fan.

His books generally are easy reads, and the short chapters often keep me up reading "just one more."

I found this book painful to read.

The opening chapters are so graphic and violent that I actually put the book away for several days being of the mind that I must finish every book except those I truly loathe, I finished it after reading a book about ZOMBIES.

However, I would find this book hard to recommend.

If you are new to Patterson books, try the Alex Cross novels, which have plenty of twists and turns (and a surprise ending) without the extreme gore.

Harry Potter and The Half Blood Prince Movie Going Experience

It's weird seeing Andrew W.K. singing a song/commercial for the Cartoon Network.

Despicable Me

G.I. Joe

Princess and the Frog

Sherlock Holmes

2012

Shorts

Bruno Movie Going Experience‏

I swear....over and over that the music they play during the "Silence Your Cell Phones" is subliminally telling me to do something... "Oh... Products!"

There is a couple here in their eighties or so. I am uncomfortable for them and the movie hasn't even started yet.

Previews

Couples Retreat

Jennifer's Body

Goods

District 9

Gamer

Funny People

Book 42 of 52 -- Pride and Prejudice and Zombies by Jane Austen and Seth Grahame-Smith

Pride and Prejudice and Zombies is brilliant fun.

The idea of sticking zombies into a Jane Austen novel is great fun.

Seth Grahame-Smith seems to have created an entirely new genre.

It's like taking the mayhem of a genre-hopping vampire book like The Book With No Name by Anonymous and taking it a step further.

Ideal if you didn't enjoy Pride and Prejudice as a kid and want to see the characters take a pasting from some zombies... and I hated reading P&P.

Alternatively if you like Jane Austen it's a great opportunity to re-read the book and enjoy it for an entirely different set of reasons.

I hear the author's next book is about Abraham Lincoln and vampires.

I can't wait!

Book 41 of 52 -- J.K. Rowling's Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

You ask if I am over 13. Heck, I am over thirty.

What a delightful romp through a very sensitive portrayal of school life, despite the witch- and warlock-craft.

Well and bravely done. I hate to admit it, but my life may be a little emptier without another chapter to read tonight.

It is a great reminder before we set foot in the movie theater in a short period of time.

Book 40 of 52 -- Phillip Margolin's Fugitive

With FUGITIVE, Phillip Margolin has created a novel that instantly engages the reader and will hold you on the edge of your seat right up to the shocking conclusion, which contains a twist most will not see coming.

I only wish the book had been 100 pages longer because all the characters are so interesting I wanted to know so much more about their individual backgrounds and motives.

FUGITIVE is Margolin at his best and a summer/beach read not to be missed by thriller fans.

Book 39 of 52 -- Tom Bergeron's I'm Hosting As Fast As I Can

I tried forever to get this book at the library as there was only one copy in all of Middlesex County and it was at an inconvenient library.

I was treated to Tom's sense of humor and I love it.

His quick wit translates well, but his deep insight is truly surprising.

I've enjoyed every minute of this book and was truly sorry when it's over.

I enjoy watching his live performances and now know where his unique quirky senses come from.

Great book, well worth it.

Book 38 of 52 -- James Patterson's The 8th Confession

When I first discovered James Patterson about 10 years ago, I loved his stuff. He was by far the top novelist in the Mystery-Suspense genre. His early Alex Cross books were always best sellers and this was completely deserved. His books always had great pace, suspense, mystery and intriguing villains.

He still produces best sellers but he is living purely on reputation. He now employs associate authors thus enabling him to churn out novels 4 times a year. The truly great authors generally produce one book a year.

This book, The 8th Confession, is another assembly-line product. While it holds your interest, there is nothing that makes it stand out. The word that comes to mind after finishing it is TRITE. There is no real suspense. Instead it depends on familiar characters and thin plot lines.

Will the real James Patterson please come back.

Book 37 of 52 -- Michael Connelly's The Scarecrow

Ever wonder what the ratio of serial killers to the general population is in real life as opposed to mass popular entertainment?

Real serial killers are probably a huge minority, perhaps even a protected class which is why they get so much ink and film.

Therefore, if one's going to write a novel which a good chunk is devoted to the serial killer's point of view, at least spend more than a few nebulous sentences and old Doors song lyrics explaining "why".

Instead, Connelly rushes for the finish line with the hero stumbling upon the killer's identity with a deus ex machina that would have embarrassed Eurpides.

That, combined with the woefully underwritten female FBI agent (in a recurring appearance, no less), and predictable plotting, makes The Scarecrow a below average thriller.

However, The Scarecrow is saved from being completely disposable by the fascinating and frightening description of what is happening to the print newspaper industry.

There Connelly is at his best, and there is where he exhibits the passion that unfortunately doesn't exist in the rest of the novel.

Book 36 of 52 -- Michael J. Fox's Always Looking Up: The Adventures of an Incurable Optimist

Fox has written an optimistic report of his recent years, a positive sequel to "Lucky Man,: focusing on the continuing good in his life.

This memoir helps readers understand that even in the hard times, there can still be good - and a hopeful outlook goes a long way to help!

At least one other review criticizes the political points made by Fox, but he makes no secret of his political involvement and opinions - they are surely an important part of the work he does now.

The chapter on politics is a lengthy one, but this is a book about his life's beliefs - it would make no sense to leave that out! His advocacy of stem cell research and support of those politicians who are like-minded are his present-day work.

Moving and informative book!

Book 35 of 52 -- Dennis LeHane's Darkness, Take My Hand

After devouring this novel I was drained.

This is the second in Lehane's series featuring private investigators Patrick Kenzie and Angela Gennaro and it really packs a whallup.

The first novel, A Drink Before the War, did a fine job of introducing these characters, along with an adequate story.

This novel digs deep into the relationships of these people, and all the while we're being pulled through a harrowing serial killer mystery.

Lehane has pulled out all the stops here and sure, there are many authors who will try to shock you with gruesome details, but in this novel it's the sense of the helplessness of the victims that stays with you long after you leave the story.

Trust me on this: the novel is so well structured and timed that it very slowly begins to build up, as if you're treading water just at the edge of a whirlpool.

Book 34 of 52 -- Christopher Moore's Practical Demonkeeping

I have read this book a few times and I love reading it each time.

Chris Moore is one of my favorites... if not my favorite author.

Pine Cove, California is a strange place, full of strange people with a whole slew of problems without the seemingly young man and his demon, Catch, entering the picture.

In this book, we are introduced to a host of characters that defy proper description.

You need to read the book to truly grasps the absurdity and humor.

Catch is truly the star.

This is a demon full of personality.

The scene with the hotel clerk is probably one of the funniest I have ever read, and I will forever associate "magic fingers" with this crazy scene.

Despite his being a completely evil being, the reader has no choice but to fall in love with this Cookie Monster loving beast.

If you want to laugh, Moore is the author for you, and "Practical Demonkeeping" is a book you will read over and over again.

Oh wait.... I did.

:)

New Jersey Facts

New Jersey is a peninsula.

Highlands, New Jersey has the highest elevation along the entire eastern seaboard, from Maine to Florida.

New Jersey is the only state where all of its counties are classified as metropolitan areas.

New Jersey has more race horses than Kentucky.

New Jersey has more Cubans in Union City (1 sq MI.) than Havana, Cuba.

New Jersey has the densest system of highways and railroads in the US.

New Jersey has the highest cost of living.

New Jersey has the highest cost of auto insurance.

New Jersey has the highest property taxes in the nation.

New Jersey has the most diners in the world and is sometimes referred to as the "Diner Capital of the World."

New Jersey is home to the original Mystery Pork Parts Club (no, not Spam): Taylor Ham or Pork Roll. Home to the less mysterious but the best Italian hot dogs and Italian sausage w/peppers and onions.

North Jersey has the most shopping malls in one area in the world, with seven major shopping malls in a 25 square mile radius.

The Passaic River was the site of the first submarine ride by inventor John P. Holland.

New Jersey has 50+ resort cities & towns; some of the nation's most famous: Asbury Park, Wildwood, Atlantic City, Seaside Heights, Long Branch, Cape May, Keansburg.

New Jersey has the most stringent testing along its coastline for water quality control than any other seaboard state in the entire country.

New Jersey is a leading technology & industrial state and is the largest chemical producing state in the nation when you include pharmaceuticals.

Jersey tomatoes are known the world over as being the best you can buy.

New Jersey is the world leader in blueberry and cranberry production (and here you thought Massachusetts?)

Here's to New Jersey - the toast of the country! In 1642, the first brewery in America, opened in Hoboken.

New Jersey rocks! The famous Les Paul invented the first solid body electric guitar in Mahwah, in 1940.

New Jersey is a major seaport state with the largest seaport in the US, located in Elizabeth. Nearly 80 percent of what our nation imports comes through Elizabeth Seaport first.

New Jersey is home to one of the nation's busiest airports (in Newark), Liberty International.

New Jersey - George Washington slept there.

Several important Revolutionary War battles were fought on New Jersey soil, led by General George Washington.

The light bulb, phonograph (record player), and motion picture projector, were invented by Thomas Edison in his Menlo Park, NJ, laboratory.

New Jersey also boasts the first town ever lit by incandescent bulbs (Roselle).

The first seaplane was built in Keyport , NJ.

The first airmail (to Chicago) was started from Keyport, NJ.

The first phonograph records were made in Camden, NJ.

New Jersey was home to the Miss America Pageant held in Atlantic City.

The game Monopoly, played all over the world, named the streets on its playing board after the actual streets in Atlantic City, NJ. And, Atlantic City has the longest boardwalk in the world, not to mention salt water taffy.

New Jersey has the largest petroleum containment area outside of the Middle East countries.

The first Indian reservation was in New Jersey, in the Watchung Mountains.

New Jersey has the tallest water-tower in the world. (Union, NJ!!!)

New Jersey had the first medical center, in Jersey City.

The Pulaski Skyway, from Jersey City to Newark, was the first skyway highway.

New Jersey built the first tunnel under a river, the Hudson (Holland Tunnel).

The first baseball game was played in Hoboken, NJ, which is also the birthplace of Frank Sinatra.

The first intercollegiate football game was played in New Brunswick, NJ in 1889 (Rutgers College played Princeton).

The first drive-in movie theater was opened in Camden, NJ. (but they're all gone now!)

New Jersey is home to both of "NEW YORK'S" pro football teams!

The first radio station and broadcast was in Paterson, NJ.

The first FM radio broadcast was made from Alpine, NJ, by Maj. Thomas Armstrong.

All New Jersey natives: Sal Martorano, Jack Nicholson, Bruce Springsteen, Bon Jovi, Jason Alexander, Queen Latifah, Susan Sarandon, Connie Francis, Shaq, Judy Blume, Aaron Burr, Joan Robertson, Ken Kross, Dionne Warwick, Sarah Vaughn, Budd Abbott, Lou Costello, Alan Ginsberg, Norman Mailer, Marilyn McCoo, Flip Wilson, Alexander Hamilton, Zack Braff, Whitney Houston, Eddie Money, Linda McElroy, Eileen Donnelly, Grover Cleveland, Woodrow Wilson, Walt Whitman, Jerry Lewis, Tom Cruise, Joyce Kilmer, Bruce Willis, Caesar Romero, Lauryn Hill, Ice-T, Nick Adams, Nathan Lane, Sandra Dee, Danny DeVito, Richard Conti, Joe Pesci, Joe Piscopo, Joe DePasquale, Robert Blake, John Forsythe, Michael Douglas, Meryl Streep, Loretta Swit, Norman Lloyd, Paul Simon, Jerry Herman, Gorden McCrae, Kevin Spacey, John Travolta, Phyllis Newman, Anne Morrow Lindbergh, Eva Marie Saint, Elisabeth Shue, Zebulon Pike, James Fennimore Cooper, Admiral Wm. Halsey Jr., Norman Schwarzkopf, Dave Thomas (Wendy's), William Carlos Williams, Ray Liotta, Robert Wuhl, Bob Reyers, Paul Robeson, Ernie Kovacs, Joseph Macchia, Kelly Ripa, and, of course, Francis Albert Sinatra and "Uncle Floyd" Vivino.

The Great Falls in Paterson, NJ, on the Passaic River, is the 2nd highest waterfall on the East Coast of the US.

The Diana Radar Tower on Marconi Road (Wall Township, NJ). The first in the world to send a radio wave/beam that bounced off the moon. Thank you MARCONI. There is a monument on Marconi Road for this event. The Diana Radar Tower was later topped with a dish antenna. It is represented in the lower left quadrant of Wall's official seal.

Molly Pitcher's Well Monument (Monmouth, NJ) - Pitcher, Molly, 1744–1832, American Revolutionary heroine whose real name was Mary Ludwig Hays (Heis). As the wife of John Hays or Heis, she carried water for her husband and other soldiers in the battle of Monmouth (1778).

You know you're from Jersey when:
You don't think of fruit when people mention "The Oranges."
You know that it's called Great Adventure, not Six Flags.
A good, quick breakfast is a hard roll with butter.
You've known the way to Seaside Heights since you were seven.
You've eaten at a diner, when you were stoned or drunk, at 3 A.M.
You know that the state isn't one big oil refinery.
At least three people in your family still love Bruce Springsteen, and you know the town Bon Jovi is from.
You know what a "jug handle" is.
You know that WaWa is a convenience store.
You know that the state isn't all farmland.
You know that there are no "beaches" in New Jersey--there's the shore--and you don't go "to the shore," you go "down the shore." And when you are there, you're not "at the shore"; you are "down the shore."
You know how to properly negotiate a circle.
You knew that the last sentence had to do with driving.
You know that this is the only "New" state that doesn't require "New" to identify it (try . . Mexico . .. . York . . . . Hampshire-- doesn't work, does it?).
You know that a "White Castle" is the name of BOTH a fast food chain AND a fast food sandwich.
You consider putting mayo on a corned beef sandwich a sacrilege.
You don't think "What exit?" is very funny.
You know that people from the 609 area code are "a little different." Yes they are!
You know that no respectable New Jerseyan goes to Princeton--that's for out-of-staters.
The Jets-Giants game has started fights at your school or local bar.
You live within 20 minutes of at least three different malls.
You refer to all highways and interstates by their numbers.
Every year you have at least one kid in the class name Tony.
You know the location of every clip shown in the Sopranos opening credits.
You've gotten on the wrong highway trying to get out of the mall.
You know that people from North Jersey go to Seaside Heights, and people from Central Jersey go to Belmar, and people from South Jersey go to Wildwood. It can be no other way.
"Forgettabouit"
You weren't raised in New Jersey--you were raised in either North Jersey, Central Jersey or South Jersey.
You don't consider Newark or Camden to actually be part of the state.
You remember the stores Korvette's, Two Guys, Rickel's, Channel, Bamberger's and Orbach's.
You also remember Palisades Amusement Park.
You've had a boardwalk cheese steak and vinegar fries.
You start planning for Memorial Day weekend in February.

And finally . . . You've NEVER, NEVER, NEVER, EVER pumped your
own gas.

The Time Traveler's Wife-Trailer

Great book... and it looks like a good movie.

Mets Lose on Dropped Pop Fly

This was such a tremendous way to start my weekend.

Bret Michaels Tony Award Clotheslining

Fantastic Bret... Fantastic.

The Hangover Moviegoing Experience

Previews

Orphan

The Final Destination

Bruno

The Ugly Truth

I Love You Beth Cooper Gamer

Very amusing and laugh out loud funny movie... Zach Galifinakis is hilarious.

Drag Me To Hell Moviegoing Experience‏

Since I was there for the first showing of the day, I was the only person in the theater until right before it started!

They also didn't turn anything on until the show was supposed to start so the Regal Cinema First Look wasn't played!

Previews

Gamer -- Looks cool enough...

Armored -- Neat looking

Inglorious Basterds -- This is a Quentin Tarrantino look at WWII. I am already intrigued.

Orphan -- VERA Farmiga!

Bruno -- :-D

Book 33 of 52 -- Carol Leifer's When You Lie About Your Age, The Terrorists Win

When I heard that Carol Leifer had written a book, I thought oh good, now this will be funny.

And it is, laugh out loud funny.

But it is so much more than that; it is poignant, touching and honest.

Carol shows us to embrace ourselves at all stages of our lives, to laugh at ourselves, and most importantly to enjoy this journey called life.

This is a book that everyone can relate to, whether you are just starting the journey or well into it.

Thanks Carol for putting such an eloquent and funny touch on this bumpy road called life.

Up Moviegoing Experience

When we bought our tickets, the cashier asked us "Do you mind that it isn't in 3D?"

I said "No. How many theaters do you have here that show in 3D?"

"None."

Me later - "uh...why did she ask that if they don't even offer it?"

Since we were seeing a kid's movine, they played Regal First Look Play! which is designed for kids.

Previews
Shorts
G-Force
Cloudy With A Chance of Meatballs
Ice Age Dawn of the Dinosaurs
The Princess and the Frog

Up was an incredibly well made movie, but it really taped into your emotions. Plenty of people were crying like crazy and it was effective.

I might recommend it more than TW would since I think she might have felt it was more manipulative than heart warming.

Book 32 of 52 -- Martin Clark's The Legal Limit

The Legal Limit is "thrilling" in that it has a plot that's good from page one and it's "legal" because, for sure, there's a lot that happens that concerns the law, but it's a much bigger, deeper (and sometimes funnier)book than the traditional legal thriller.

It seems as if the author has tried to polish every single word and every paragraph; the novel seems handmade and painstakingly crafted as compared to something which is mass produced.

The characters, from the brothers Mason and Gates to the very engaging Custis Norman, seem real and well thought out.

Best of all for me was the story of Mason's love affair with his wife and his struggles--Mr. Clark nails this--to raise an adolescent daughter.

I'd call it a legal thriller PLUS.

Getting Excited for Rutgers Football...

Happy Memorial Day

Try to remember that this day is about more than just hot dogs and burgers.

My First Dancing With the Stars Post

I went through my old blog posts the other day.

I found the first blog that I wrote about Dancing With the Stars.

It can be found here:

Clicky click here...

Man.. I thought I wrote a lot then!

Dancing With The Stars -- Winner REVEALED!!!!

Ok... before the evening even starts, I wanted to share with you what I thought would be the order of finish that would make me most happy.

I would love to see Shawn Johnson come in first, with Gilles Marini come in second, with that Melissa Rycroft in third... I truly don't care who wins as long as Melissa doesn't win.

Enough with the dilly dallying since there will be plenty of dilly dallying as they look to fill in three hours with professional dancers, performances and two things I am looking forward to - Jeffrey Ross roasting the remaining participants and a new dance for each dancer that counts!

We are.... LLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Before they bring anyone out... the get right into it with Lady Gaga who is wearing an interesting and rather tame outfit for her. I have to admit that I am intrigued by her... but not enough to not fast forward... vroom vroom...

RECAP!!!!!!!!!!! followed up by some comments from the judges... including the brilliant comment that they all think this is the best season ever and will come down to the viewers... uh... no shit Sherlock.

RECAP #2! It's the first three weeks... *yawn*... followed by a return of Belinda Carlisle and Jonathan Roberts reminding us why they were booted first... then Denise Richards with Maksim Chmirnov are back too... dead eyes and all! This is topped off with Holly Madison and Demetri Chaplin making us all upset that the hot chick went early. They are also all interviewed by Samantha...

It is revealed that Samantha Harris will be performing on BROADWAY! As Roxy Hart in Chicago!.... The Tucker household is silent...

After a brief recap (#3)... it's time to see Steve Wozniak and Karina Smirnov dance the Quickstep... making us all cringe, but smile at his happiness to be out there again.

RECAP #4 It's weeks 5-6. David Allan Grier and Kym Johnson do their live dance... followed up by Steve-O and Lacey Schwimmer do their live dance... and it's capped with an interview...

Wooo Hooooo.... former dancers are talking about who should win and there is so much rhetoric and shenanigans involved that I am not sure what to do. Why do I really need to see so much Vivica A. Fox? Really... she turned a once promising acting career into hosting "The Cougar" on TV Land... really?

Recap #5! It's time to remind us how America got from the beginning ot the end for the professional dancers... and the winner was... the hot blonde Russion chick... I should probably learn her name... but ... alas...

Lawrence Taylor and Edyta Sliwinska is back for his live dance. I hate the Giants. He gets his own interview... and reminds me why I disliked him so much.

Recap #6! We get some more highlights of the season... followed by the return of Julianne Hough and Chuck Wicks on the dance floor and an interview! Who knew?!?!?!?

Here is one of the highlights I am looking forward to. Jeffrey Roast is here to roast the contestants. IT WAS HYSTERICAL. Best groan of the night? "This is actually Dancing With Who?"

Oh my... oh my!!! Recap #7!!! It's the final weeks and the booting of Lil Kim and Ty Murray...

Lil Kim and Derek Hough dance and America waits for her to just start shooting.... Nope... phew. Get the hell off my tv... Loser.

Ty Murray and Chelsie Hightower dance right after with their final dance as well.

Video Montage!!! The finalist all talk about each other and how wonderful they all are. Kinda boring, but the producers finally have figured out how to make her look gorgeous.

After 75 minutes of junk and blah.. it's finally time... Third dance of the week... These scores will be counted with their original scores.

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas dance in the first position. It's a recap of her entire season. We get to see the ups and downs of her year. Her last dance of the season will be the Cha Cha Cha. She proves why she is a finalist with a great dance. And Harold Wheeler proves why I hate him and his band by destroying PYT. Len loved it... Bruno thought it was perfect and Carrie Ann thinks she deserves to be exactly where she is. The scores are 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30 + 58 = 88.

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani are up second. It's a nice recap of Melissa... and most importantly... it's a recap of all of her Tramp Stamp camoflagues... They are dancing the Samba. It was nice, but as my wife said, she peaked earlier in the season. All the judges loved them. Just a reminder that last night they scored a 56. The scores are 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30 + 56 = 86.

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke are up third. He ot the most perfect scores this season... so yeah... good for him. His dance (Argentine Tango) is perfect again... and better get a good score... The judges agreed. Last night they scored a 58. The scores are 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30 + 58 = 88.

Lady Gaga... blech.

Time to reveal who is finishing in the THIRD PLACE spot.
3. Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani



This is the closest season ever. There was less than 1% difference between first and second.

Second
2. Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke



And... the Winner!!!!

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas



That made me smile and happy... See you next season.

Dancing With the Stars FINALS!!!!!!!!!!

Wow... I can't believe that the season is already over. I really can't. This has been over 2 1/2 months of dancing and I already feel accomplished and happy simply because Lil Kim didn't make it to the finals... let alone the semi-finals.

It's only an hour tonight and each of the final three will be dancing at least two dances tonight.

P.S. The Yankees jumped out to a 6-2 lead in the first inning and I was all over the place excited...

So... it's time... It's time... to be ... LIIIIIVEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wow... the outfits the stars all walked out in are insanely weird... as they are all going to dance the Paso Doble! Shawn's outfit is atrocious... and Melissa looks fantastic.

PASO DOBLE ROUND

The first video montage of the night is about having all the judges visiting the stars to teach them the Paso Doble. It was both informative and boring at the same time.

All three couples are dancing it at the same time and it starts off with a ton of smoke and fire... with Shawn dancing first. (She was happy with that draw since that is where she wants to "finish." Uhhh... ergh.) Melissa is second and we thought the dance was full of mistakes, but I am sure the judges will love it. Gilles comes out last... and dammit. Cheryl can choreograph.

Judges' thoughts? Len thought that Shawn did great, Melissa's was mistake filled, and Gilles' was great. Bruno is amazed that they compete and dance as a team, Melissa looks nice, and Gilles is a leading man. Carrie thinks they are all incredible dancers, Shawn is incredible and yet not as emotional because she is young, Melissa was great, and Gilles was perfect.

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas The scores are 9, 9, 10 for a total of 28.

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani The scores are 10, 9, 10 for a total of 29. Bullshit... Bullshit... Bullshit... Mistakes all over the place and Shawn did better.

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke The scores are 10. 10, 10 for a total of 30.

FREE STYLE ROUND

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas are up to dance their Freestyle. Shawn announces that they don't intend to do any gymnastics. You go girl. Anton Apollo Ohno is here to help cheer her on. They come out in a creepy mask and all black outfit. It makes me slightly nauseated, but they finally rip off the outfit. They get into the meat of the dance and it is full of excitement and flips and turns and I really enjoyed it. Bruno stands up and thinks it was bursting of excitement and creative. "Marvelous" Carrie Ann thought it was perfect and ideal. Len loved it and Mark collapses. The scores are 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30.

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani are up second. The video shows that Tony took a shot to face from Melissa and needs ice. They are going to uhh... try really really really hard! *yawn*. Lots of flips and throws and not much substance though, but she will get good scores. Carrie Ann thinks it was just lift to lift but a decent dance. Len didn't get it and thought it wasn't his cup of tea. Bruno agrees... and all. The scores are 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27.

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke dance last. Gilles feels like an underdog. During rehearsal, Cheryl continues to act like a turd and Gilles' shoulder problems come out. Uh oh! Drama. This should be good... It should be good. I was completely underwhelmed by it... even though it was technically sound. Len thought it was great. Bruno thought it was a good performance, but it didn't have enough dancing in it. Carrie agrees with Bruno. The scores are 9, 10, 9 for a total of 28.

Scores... Just a reminder!

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke 30 + 28 = 58
Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas 28 + 30 = 58
Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani 29 + 27 = 56

Survivor Competitions Update

Survivor 1 in Borneo -- Richard Hatch (No Game)
Survivor 2 in Australia -- Tina Wesson (Ashfault!)
Survivor 3 in Africa -- Ethan Zohn (Ashfault!)
Survivor 4 in Marquesas -- Vecepia Towery (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 5 in Thailand -- Brian Heidik (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 6 in Amazon -- Jenna Morasca (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 7 in Pearl Islands -- Sandra Diaz-Twine (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 8 ALL STARS -- Amber Brkich (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 9 in Vanuatu -- Chris Daugherty (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 10 in Palau -- Tom Westman (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 11 in Guatemala -- Danni Boatwright (Ashfault!)
Survivor 12 in Panama (Exile Island) -- Aras Baskauskas (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 13 in the Cook Islands -- Yul Kwon (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 14 in Fiji -- Earl Cole (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 15 in China -- Todd Herzog (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 16 in Micronesia (All Stars-ish) -- Parvati Shallow (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 17 in Gabon -- Bob Crowley (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 18 in Tocantins -- James Thomas, Jr. (Ashfault!)

Overall Totals

Pork Chop Express -- 13
Assshfault! -- 4

Tucker's Nuts -- 2
FBT -- ZERO

Survivor Tocantins -- Final Results

I took a beating... and had my team all run out so quickly after such a good and quick start.

We split the series this season so our bet will be split nicely.

Woo hooo... and boooooo....

Congrats Ashfault... Congrats...

Tucker’s Nuts
Tamara “Taj” Johnson-George (16) -- FINISHED FOURTH
Benjamin Wade (13) -- Booted Week Twelve
Deborah “Bubbles” Beebe (5) -- Booted Week Eleven
Tyson Apostol (4) -- Booted Week Nine
Brendan Synnott (9) -- Blindsided Week Eight
Joe Dowdle (8) -- Medevac-ed Week Seven
Spencer Duhm (12) -- Wrongfully booted Week Five
Jerry Simms (1) -- Unfortunately... he basically quit in Week Three.

Asshfault!
James Thomas, Jr. (10) -- WINNER
Stephen Fishbach (2) -- FINISHED SECOND
Erinn Lobdell (14) -- FINISHED THIRD
Sierra Reed (6) -- BOOTED WEEK TEN!!!!
Sydney Wheeler (7) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!!
Sandy Burgin (15) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
Candace Smith (11) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!
Carolina Eastwood (3) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!

Star Trek Moviegoing Experience

AMC's First Look

Previews

Night at the Museum 2

Year One

Up

Land of the Lost

GI Joe

Transformers

TWENTY NINE LINES TO MAKE YOU SMILE

1.. My husband and I divorced over religious differences. He thought he was God and I didn't.
2.. I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.
3.. Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them.
4.. I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.
5.. Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.
6.. You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me
7.. Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.
8.. Earth is the insane asylum for the universe.
9.. I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.
10... Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
11.. NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine..
12.. God must love stupid people; He made so many.
13.. The gene pool could use a little chlorine.
14.. Consciousness: That annoying time between naps.
15.. Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?
16.. Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!
17.. Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up.
18 Procrastinate Now!
19.. I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?
20.. A hangover is the wrath of grapes.
21.. A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.
22.. Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere!
23..They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken.
24.. He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.
25.. A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three
thousand times the memory.
26.. Ham and eggs...A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.
27.. The trouble with life is there's no background music.
28.. The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.
29.. I smile because I don't know what the hell is going on.

Survivor Tocantins Team Rosters

With just the finale to go on Sunday... it ain't looking so good for me...

Tucker’s Nuts
Tamara “Taj” Johnson-George (16)
Benjamin Wade (13) -- Booted Week Twelve
Deborah “Bubbles” Beebe (5) -- Booted Week Eleven
Tyson Apostol (4) -- Booted Week Nine
Brendan Synnott (9) -- Blindsided Week Eight
Joe Dowdle (8) -- Medevac-ed Week Seven
Spencer Duhm (12) -- Wrongfully booted Week Five
Jerry Simms (1) -- Unfortunately... he basically quit in Week Three.

Asshfault!
Stephen Fishbach (2)
James Thomas, Jr. (10)
Erinn Lobdell (14)
Sierra Reed (6) -- BOOTED WEEK TEN!!!!
Sydney Wheeler (7) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!!
Sandy Burgin (15) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
Candace Smith (11) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!
Carolina Eastwood (3) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!

Book 31 of 52 -- Jonathan Kellerman's True Detectives

Kellerman + brother detectives - Alex Delware = not much fun

Could have been much better...

Dancing With the Stars Seminfinal Results

Here we are.... one hour until we find out who was booted. It should be pretty interesting to see how they fill in the blanks and the spaces on this episode.

Tonight... only THREE will survive...

We start with a cold opening and Tom and Samantha immediately introduce some Grammy winner named Raphael Sadiq or something.

RECAP! It's a time to reflect... pause... and... ummm... fast forward.

Time to see our ENCORE DANCE. It will be Shawn Johnson and Mark Ballas dancing their Argentine Tango... and it is still pretty dang good.

Helio Castroneves, Brooke Burke, and Dew Lachey are up to review the Final Four. The filler VIDEO MONTAGE is full of Drewches, Vacant Brooke Stares, and Incomprehensible Accented Comments by Helio Castondafadafs...ves....

After a commercial, it's time to reveal what everyone has been waiting for! What two professional dancers survived last week's cut to win a guaranteed spot in Season 9! They will be dancing with pro stars tonight! I can't wait!... Uh... who cares... Fast Forward....

Hey... ! Only four times this season (out of 9) has the lowest score of the judges been voted out. I knew you cared. America is saving people... SAVING PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

It's time for a Professionals dance... where America ALSO voted for the four professionals (Lacey, Mark, Julianne, and Derek). Shit... America voted a lot this week... That's asking a lot from a country that voted TWICE for George Bush the
Twit.

It's time for the Professionals to perform the LATIN dances... argh... zoom zoom zoom...

Time to save someone (or two)!
1. Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke
2. Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas

The bottom two are... Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani and Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower

Who will be going home?

COMMERCIAL!!!!

Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower

Dancing With the Stars Semifinals

Ok... TWO HOURS? Last week was two hours and they reallllly stretched it. Now... there are two less dances to watch and it will still be two hours? Ooof.

Time to get me excited and it's... the week after they booted the BIONIC BOOTY! And... I am still giddy. :)

Sooo... Let's start killing time with some professional dancers ... and I know that we will be killing time by watching How I Met Your Mother and 24 in the middle... so this won't be too live... for us.

The parade of stars... just four of them and thankfully... none of them are Lil Kim... 9 have been booted and these four are dancing in the semi-finals.

MEMORY LANE.... UGH....

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani are up first and Melissa and Tony are revewing their season and dances from the season. This is ridiculously boring and I want to poke Perez Hilton in the eye. Melissa is too wacky and Tony is too nice. They reviewed their Foxtrot and Samba. They are going to dance a Cha Cha tonight.

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke review their season too. They liked their Fox Trot and their Paso Doble. Tonight... they will be dancing the Waltz.

Commercial? No Yankees game? This is bullshit.

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas are up third... and what do they like? They liked their Quick Step. I keep hearing the words "Turning Point" being used. I am also getting to hear just how odd Mark Ballas is. He's incredibly talented and a great choreographer, but he's nuts. They also liked their Paso Doble... another "turning point... "

Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower remember last... and they really liked their Quick Step... that's the dance that they missed their high five... and that's also the dance where Harold Wheeler's singers destroyed Life is a Highway. Assholes. The other dance they liked was the Lindy Hop.

BALLROOM ROUND

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani are finally dancing at 8:30 and I am annoyed that I had to wait this long. They are dancing the Cha Cha and the Quick Step this week. Tony lets us know that this week is really really important becase it is the semi-finals. Duh... Mr. Vanilla Nicey Pants. They come out to the Quick Step first. It's a nice dance and she is really a great dancer, but she isn't a star ... and she admitted it herself. All the judges thought it was nice, but Bruno and Carrie Ann thought it was nice, but not great. The scores are 9, 10, 9 for a total of 28.

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke are up to dance third and they will be dancing the Waltz and the Salsa. Cheryl brings in Jonathan Roberts to teach him how to be sexy. He might be the gayest straight man in the world. That is absurd to me. THe dance is sweet and slow and tender, but we shall see what the judges think. Bruno stood up and yelled incomprehensible words... which means he loved it. Carrie thought it was breathtaking. The scores are 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30.

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas are up third. They took some gambles last week and got some decent scores and tried to impress the audience. This week, they are dancing the Jive and the Argentine Tango. To start the night, she is dancing the Argentine Tango. In her video montage, she was really nerbous about jumping at the right moments. She seemed to hit them all correctly during the dance... and it was kind of cool. Carrie Ann loved it. Len thought it was her best performance yet. Of course, Bruno loved it and somehow... in his ramblings he threw in a Falco reference. The scores are 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30.

Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower come in last for the night. Ty ... in his video... is so completely self aware of himself that it is cute and amusing (I know LA doesn't agree.) They are dancing the Samba and Ty is practicing shaking his butt. He will also be dancing the Viennese Waltz, which will be the first dance tonight. It was one of his best dances of teh year. Len gives some compliments and says it is nice. Bruno thinks it isn't a SemiFinal worthy dance and gets booed out of the room. Carrie Ann says some nice things and then throws in her "but" with some criticism. The scores are 8, 9, 8 for a total of 25.

VIDEO MONTAGE We are learning about heir backgrounds and family life. This is both interesting and annoying.

LATIN ROUND

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani are up to dance the Cha Cha Cha. My wife and I are entertained tha they are working the costume around her tramp stamp. The dance didn't seem on at all... not very crisp. About a 1/2 step off the whole dance. Bruno admits that she was both sensational and yet... didn't keep her energy the whole song. Carrie Ann agrees. Len liked it, but not as much as he wanted to. The scores are 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27.

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke are up next and we look into Gilles' life in France. They are dancing the Salsa. What the hell is this song? and what the hell did they do to it? Dance seemed perfectly good to me and TW, so let's see. Carrie Ann needs a pill. That was a stand up cheer for that. Len is "almost speechless" and he wishes that he had an "11 paddle." The scores are 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30.

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas come in third and we learn that Shawn grew up in Des Moines, IA and her mom and dad are interviewed. The video of her as a tiny tiny tiny person doing gymnastics are adorable. They are dancing the Jive and her poor outfit is horrific. HORRIFIC. The dance starts and something seems pretty off... but it's still far better than I could ever do. Len thought it was good, but too much slapstick and messing about. Bruno likes it when she goes wild. Not perfect, but good. Carrie thought it ended in mud, but still a good performance. (slight boos.... hrmmm.... ) The scores are 9, 8, 9 for a total of 26.

Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower dance last in the Season 8 Semi Finals. Time to get his history and Jewel actually seems like a pleasant individual. They are dancing the Samba and they are suffering from having to do it not too long after Gilles perfect one. Bruno is just mean and his jokes don't work. Carrie Ann thinks he tries so hard and says nothing about the dance. Len doesn't like the Latin dance here. The scores are 8, 7, 8 for a total of 23.

Scores... Just a reminder!

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke -- 30 + 30 = 60
Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas -- 30 + 26 = 56
Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani -- 28 + 27 = 55
Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower -- 25 + 23 = 48

Book 30 of 52 -- Russell Brand's My Booky Wook

I read a bunch of reviews on this book and it was even Entertainment Weekly's Book of the Week one week.

Russell Brand's stage show is singularly his own, and so it would follow that his prose would be similarly unconventional.

I just didn't expect that it would be as good as it is.

How many working comedians have the time to write a 400+ page memoir at the outset of their careers?

For that matter, who has this much to talk about happening in their lives BEFORE stardom? Russell Brand, that's who.

The writing is pretty dense with English colloquialisms, so I'm not sure how those will translate for American readers.

Regardless, it's hilarious as hell, proving that Brand is a worthy successor to the outlaw comic crown previously worn by Richard Pryor and Bill Hicks.

The book's US subtitle is "Sex, Drugs, and Stand-Up".

There's a fair amount of sex, but not as many drugs as you might expect (and very little stand-up, for that matter).

The book starts and ends with Brand's stay in a sex addiction clinic, but judging from his recent troubles with the BBC, he hasn't quite banished all of his sexual demons.

Can't wait for the sequel!

Happy Mother's Day Everyone.

Survivor Tocantins Week Eleven

Tucker’s Nuts
Benjamin Wade (13)
Tamara “Taj” Johnson-George (16)
Deborah “Bubbles” Beebe (5) -- Booted Week Eleven
Tyson Apostol (4) -- Booted Week Nine
Brendan Synnott (9) -- Blindsided Week Eight
Joe Dowdle (8) -- Medevac-ed Week Seven
Spencer Duhm (12) -- Wrongfully booted Week Five
Jerry Simms (1) -- Unfortunately... he basically quit in Week Three.

Asshfault!
Stephen Fishbach (2)
James Thomas, Jr. (10)
Erinn Lobdell (14)
Sierra Reed (6) -- BOOTED WEEK TEN!!!!
Sydney Wheeler (7) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!!
Sandy Burgin (15) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
Candace Smith (11) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!
Carolina Eastwood (3) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!

Book 29 of 52 -- Spencer Quinn's Dog On It

A teenage girl goes missing and her mom hires a private eye to find her; though a very real scenario, this common theme gets turned on its mismatched ears in Dog On It, the new Chet and Bernie mystery by Spencer Quinn.

Told from the perspective of K-9 school dropout Chet, a dog with one white and one black ear, Dog On It moves at greyhound-like pace.

Chet, who has a problem with short-term memory, uses his uniquely canine abilities to help his human.

His sense of smell and ability to sort good people from bad, are keys as he and Bernie, a former cop and soldier, sort through a web of deceit surrounding the disappearance of Madison Chambliss from her home in an un-named Western state.

Chet's penchant for smelling out trouble, and snacks, lands him in some dicey situations.

The bad guys do their best to put down Chet and Bernie, who keep sticking their noses in the wrong spots.

Grab your snacks, find a shady spot outside and curl up for a good time reading Dog On It.

Flea collar not included.

Dancing With the Stars RESULTS WEEK NINE!

So the wife and I just finished a nice but sad movie called Last Chance Harvey. It is sad and yet... predictably happy.

Let's start right off with Samantha in black and Melissa...and Tony dancing their perfect dance from last night... the Samba.

While we are at it... LET'S FILL SOME TIME with a ... RECAP!... zoom zoom...

After the first commercial... we come back to hear Jamie Cullum rip off Harry Connick Jr. and Frank Sinatra by singing I Get A Kick Out of You....

Now it's time for the best way to fill an hour.... DANCE CENTER with Kenny Mayne and Jerry Rice with Len Goodman. They rag on Ty Murray first, Lil Kim second, and Shawn Johnson third.

I didn't and won't comment because they are very funny and I don't want to miss anything.

Let's save someone... so they can compete in next week's SEMIFINALS!!!!!
1. Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke

Dance Center Part II! (Melissa and Gilles are up next... )

Macy's Stars of Dance! -- Two people we have never heard of who are dancing to a Coldplay song... NOT BUTCHERED by Harold Wheeler's assholes...

Hey look! Some professionals are still competing to be on the show next season *sigh* PART ONE

Let's save another person... or two.
2. Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani

Hey look! Some professionals are still competing to be on the show next season. *sigh* PART TWO

Hey look! Some professionals are still competing to be on the show next season and Lisa Rinna doesn't recognize that she is and looks like a fool. *sigh* PART THREE

Saving.....
3. Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas

BOTTOM TWO!!!!
They are... Lil Kim & Derek Hough & Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower

After hearing that the judges will miss either of them... we eliminate one couple... and the couple going home this week is...

Lil Kim & Derek Hough



YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dancing WIth the Stars!!!!!!!!! (Week 9)

So I look at the DVR and I see that this episode is going to be back to the two hours that it was a few weeks ago Sometimes... I can only take so much... but I am reminded by my wife that these superstars of the world are going to be dancing two dances this week.

BBC AMERICA!?!?!?! I wish I had that... thanks for reminding me ABC that I don't have it...

LLLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Tonight... in a Make or Break night... they will have to do two new dances AND they must dance a solo in the Latin Dance. Sucker bitches....

The night begins with some professional dancers dancing a simultaneous dance... sooo... Loyal Reader... this is how you fill two hours. (Currently... we are live and I can't fast forward... that will be rectified a little while later when we are watching How I Met Your Mother... )

And NOW... the dancers come down the stairs... starting with that turd... you know her as... Lil Kim... blech.

Sit back Loyal Reader... I am feeling somewhat vicious tonight because of a run-in at work.

WHAT THE F*CK? A Video Montage.... now? Screw you ABC! The judges are nitpicking and telling us what they are going to nitpick about tonight.

BALLROOM ROUND

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas come in first and they are dancing the Quick Step and Shawn is challenged to stay graceful and be fast. She cries a lot and I can't help but think.... "Baby..."... she is 1/2 my age.. ok... just left than half. They are dancing to a song from Aladdin... and I am annoyed at the butcherin' of a great song. "Friend Like Me" It does distract me from the dancing which I really liked. Len thought it was fun and entertaining. Good for her... but... he thinks they didn't follow the rules... about breaking the hold. Bruno liked it and Carrie Ann thought it was her best dance ever... but will give her a nine for breaking the rules. The scores are 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27.

Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower will be dancing the Argentine Tango first and his video was short and to the point. He's going to work really, really really hard. The whole dance was decent, but both TW and I were cringing at certain lifts. Bruno thought it was decent, and Carrie Ann comments about how he has come far, but he wasn't perfect. Len loved it. The scores are 8, 9, 8 for a total of 25.

Lil Kim & Derek Hough are up third and Lil Kim is a hooker based up her oufits. She doesn't want to dance ballroom dances like the Waltz, but she wants to be the "Complete Ballroom Package." Harold Wheeler and his merry band of misfits seems to be fucking with yet another song. It was boring and nothing special. Carrie Ann is ubercritical. Good for her. Bruno is DEAD ON..... "You tried to be a lady, but you are more comfortable being a tramp." Bless you Bruno... Bless you for saying it perfectly. The dance is boring and the scores are 8, 9, 8 for a total of 25.

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke are up and I have turned 180 on Gilles. I like him, but I am hating on Cheryl. I would hate to be her partner. They go watch some professionals dance... and somehow... he is feeling more comfortable for his Foxtrot. 15 seconds into the dance, it's already better than Lil Kim's dance. It's slow and passionate. The song is the best one of the night so far... "Fever" and that is hard to do. Well done dance. It deserves some really high scores. Len isn't entirely favorable, even though he liked the dance. Of course Bruno liked it a lot as did Carrie Ann... The scores are 10, 9, 10 for a total of 29.

VIDEO MONTAGE... one I am excited about. It is a preview of tomorrow night's DanceCenter with Kenny Mayne.

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani are next... Hey... do you remember that she was hurt last week? I did... but yet... they keep reminding us... So... the whole video is about being delicate around her... Boooooooring... They are dancing the Viennese Waltz this week. It's a beautiful dance that just seems to be missing something... so I am sure she will get big scores for her "comeback." *yawn*... The judges liked it, but they were critical. Fantastic!!! Len was the nicest. The scores are 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27.

Some video about the pro's competing... fast forward!

LATIN ROUND!!!! -- Time for some video thoughts and a reminder that each dancer has to do 15 seconds on their own.

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas makes me giggly by trying out herself at the Paso Doble. She can't be cute doing this! She can't help but laugh a lot. This ought to be interesting. We think the dance started with her solo, but we aren't sure. She's certainly a lot meaner and stern duriong the dance. THe beginning WAS her solo and it was pretty good. Fierce... as LA would say... Carrie Ann loved it. Len thought the dancing was good, but didn't think it was over-exciting. Shawn is visibly upset by this and so was Mark. Len seems overly critical, but Bruno judges her correctly. The scores are 10, 9, 10 for a total of 29 (See the TOTAL total below... ).

Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower are up again and they are dancing the Rumba. He doesn't feel strong about it, but let's get cracking. The video is actually hilarious. Ty has a good sense of humor... even though he has no delivery. This is the worst rendition of a Tom Petty song ever. He is trying so hard and itisn't working for him. He ends it on an awkward him shake in front of his wife... and yet... it is bad... but I get the feeling that he knows he is going out... so he goofed it out a bit... At least I am hoping so. The scores are 7, 7, 7 for a total of 21(See the TOTAL total below... ).

Lil Kim & Derek Hough are up for their second dance and they are dancing the Salsa. This should be a better dance for her since she can shake her crappy slutty moneymaker. She is gonna shake her "Bionic Booty." Fuck her... especially since she got mad about being called a tramp. She's just disgusting and I am going to have to disown you friends that like her. I really might have to. Bruno loved it. Carrie thought it was out of control. Len mentioned Spotted Dick... uhhh.... In all seriousness... the blacks in the audience unfairly tried to intimidate the judges with their chanting. The scores are 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27(See the TOTAL total below... ).

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke will be trying out the Rumba. Frenchie can't wait to show us his Latin Lover... didn't he already do that in Sex and the City: The Movie? Get it? MWAH HA HA HA HA.... He gets a great song (still poorly performed).. Marvin Gaye's Sexual Healing. Well done. Carrie Ann thought it was hot, but self indulgent. The other two weren't too enamoured either. The scores are 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27(See the TOTAL total below... ).

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani are dancing the Samba. The last dance of the night. WHAT?!?!!?!? During the video montage... Tony gives her the news about the 15 second solo. She says... "I am not a celebrity... so can I get out of this on a technicality?" Bingo. Enough said. Be back after the dance is over. Len loved it. Bruno loved it. Carrie Ann thought it was perfect. The scores are 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30 (See the TOTAL total below... ).

Scores... Just a reminder!

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani -- 27 + 30 = 57
Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke -- 29 + 27 = 56
Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas -- 27 + 29 = 56
Lil Kim & Derek Hough -- 25 + 27 = 52
Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower -- 25 + 21 = 46

Book 28 of 52 -- David Wild's He Is . . . I Say: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love Neil Diamond

This book hits a truly sweet spot where the biography of Neil Diamond, the autobiography of David Wild and a critical appreciation of pop music's most enduring singer/songwriter overlap.

The author is the rarest of beasts - a fully-anointed Rolling Stone-certified rock critic who isn't too much a rock-snob to appreciate the full scope of Neil Diamond's unique talent and legacy.

And I'm not just talking about the early recordings that even the most staunch rock snobs seem to have finally embraced, but every stage of Diamond's career--Wild does casual fans the service of picking the great songs out of Neil's overlooked albums.

More importantly, though, Wild defends the career of the man himself in a measured but passionate book that incorporates his own feelings about Neil's music with his many encounters with the man himself.

He doesn't dig for dirt in Diamond's personal biographical details, nor does he go for cheap shots at some of the man's admittedly less-than-stellar work.

Instead he makes the case for a truly unique artist who, into his late 60s, is coming full-circle to his beginnings as a songwriter and, yes, even critical success.

Survivor Tocantins -- Week Ten

Phew!

The bloodletting was finally stopped.

Tucker’s Nuts
Deborah “Bubbles” Beebe (5)
Benjamin Wade (13)
Tamara “Taj” Johnson-George (16)
Tyson Apostol (4) -- Booted Week Nine
Brendan Synnott (9) -- Blindsided Week Eight
Joe Dowdle (8) -- Medevac-ed Week Seven
Spencer Duhm (12) -- Wrongfully booted Week Five
Jerry Simms (1) -- Unfortunately... he basically quit in Week Three.

Asshfault!
Stephen Fishbach (2)
James Thomas, Jr. (10)
Erinn Lobdell (14)
Sierra Reed (6) -- BOOTED WEEK TEN!!!!
Sydney Wheeler (7) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!!
Sandy Burgin (15) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
Candace Smith (11) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!
Carolina Eastwood (3) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!