Motormouth

Alright... I have a confession to make. I can't seem to turn a certain show off every time I come across it on the television. I am well aware that it is a crappy show and a complete and total rip off of Candid Camera, but like a good car crash... I rubber neck my way to the closing credits.

The show is called Motormouth and it airs about 300 times a day on VH1. It is a show where they get three friends or family members to set up their victims by placing a hidden camera onto the dashboard of a car. The camera films how dopey people get behind the wheel of the car. The people they have shown so far have ranged from being interminable flirts to American Idol worthy and unworthy to white trash losers with missing teeth.

A narrator walks the viewer through the embarassing footage and gives prizes at the end of the show to the worst offender. The show is truly a train wreck, but it taps into something that makes me nervous.

The car is where everybody is king or queen. It is for this reason that we can explain why seemingly shy and meek people can become aggressive and finger waving jerks. We feel invulnerable in our cars and it is the one piece of real estate in the entire world that we command. We choose to transport ourselves from place to place but deep down, we all know that we can cause a great deal of damage and carnage with our vehicles. It is what we can do.

I would feel invaded enough if I was a victim of one of these shows on the street or in a laundramat but when I saw they were invading people's cars, I was amazed. I just couldn't imagine my 2 ton palace being invaded like that.

I would feel really violated...I don't need anyone seeing me sing at the top of my lungs to "Everyone's a Little Bit Racist" from the Avenue Q soundtrack or watching me do my Wayne's World impression any time Metallica comes on... or get all choked up whenever I hear about the Raiders losing another game.

Here's to Motormouth... the scariest thing on the airwaves.