Top Five "Seed of Chucky" Moments
1. Chucky chops the door in much like Jack Nicholson in The Shining and sticks his head in much like Jack Nicholson in the Shining and gives a quizical look and says... "I can't think of anything to say right now."
2. The closing credits showed each of the actors and how they looked when they were killed. It was actually pretty cool.
3. Redman played himself and he was casting a Bible based movie. One of the characters wanted the role of the Virgin Mary so she tried to sleep with him. THE COMEDY!!!
4. Jennifer Tilly playing herself is upset to hear that Julia Roberts got another prime role says... You know, I should have played "Erin Brockovich" and could have done without the wonder bra.
5. The spawn of Chucky lights a chick on fire and then says... "I just fired Joan." Phew... the comedy.
Top Five Reasons Why Watching Football is Sometimes Painful
1. My fantasy teams suck this year.
2. They only have New York teams on. Last weekend, they BOTH went out to quick leads and then sucked it up the rest of the game.
3. The commercials just don't seem as much fun anymore.
4. CBS and Fox paid $6 billion to air it for the next few years. Ummm.. HOLY CRAP!
5. The Raiders just aren't relevant and won't be for a few more years.
Top Five Reasons that Colin Powell Quit
1. He realized that the President is a psychotic.
2. He is finally upset that the President made him look like a total jackass by making him defend an outright lie to the American people in front of the entire United Nations.
3. He realized that the President is a psychotic.
4. His sone needs a new press secretary.
5. He realized that the President is a psychotic.
Top Five Reasons Why I Hate Conventions
1. I get to see otherwise grown up people act like they are 16 again and have discovered alcohol for the first time.
2. I am away from muh honey.
3. I live on crappy croissant breakfasts and drink lots of soda out of bottles.
4. My ass and feet hurt after pretending to care about people for 8 hours a day.
5. People suck...especially Town Clerks.
Top Five Reasons Why I Enjoy Going to Conventions
1. Hotels -- I love staying in them -- especially in the Sheraton where there isn't any clinging and clanging of bells.
2. I don't have to sit in an office or go to any meetings.
3. I get to pick up free junk that I will never use....
4. I get to pretend I give a crap about people I don't know and people watch the weird ones.
5. Nope... I don't have five...
Top Five Ways to Build Your Confidence
1. Listen to the Howard Stern Show and realize that you are better than all of his guests.
2. Go the U.S. Post Office -- Trust me... the dregs of the Earth hang out there.
3. Buy a Self Help Book
4. Go sit in an Emergency Room for an hour...and thank god you don't have that rash that guy over there has.
5. Just remember this... there are people out there that cannot read. Go ahead... you can figure out how to connect the smoke detectors to each other.
Top Five Reason Why ER Was Finally Good This Week
1. Ray Liotta
2. Ray Liotta
3. Not nearly as much Shane West
4. Ray Liotta
5. Ray Liotta
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