Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Dancing With the Stars Week Six

We are reminded that this is the half way stage and that David Allan Grier's removal was "no laughing matter"... uh... thanks Tom.

LIIIIIIIVEEEE!!!! This is Dancingggggg With the Staaaaarrrsss!!!!

It's time for the walk down the stairs and let's see if anyone trips? DAMN... no one trips... Both TW and I essentially gasp at some of the outfits and I have to admit something out loud. Lacey is far more appealing this season... Sorry America... even I can change my bitchy little mind.

Tonight is Rumbas and Jives... Good for us.

Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower are up first and reminded that they were robotic. In the interview... Ty proves his awesomeness. He practices and can't seem to get out of the tightness and awkwardness he naturally possesses... His costume calls for him to wear a cowboy hat... interesting... The dance starts off slow and then he eventually kicks it in.... and then... hits the roadblock... and it goes to train wreck. The judges start with Len. They all think he is charming, but then criticize his dancing. The scores are 6, 6, 6 for a total of 18.

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas dance second... and this week they are going to dance the Rumba. They have to be romantic through it. Of course... because she is only 17... she is giggly and nervous about showing her mature adult side. Mark tells us that she is missing her prom this year, so Mark recreates her prom for her in the ballroom practice room. The dance starts and it is super nice... The judges liked her and thought it was pretty nice. The scores are 8, 9, 9 for a total of 26.

The dances seem a lot longer tonight.

Lawrence Taylor & Edyta Sliwinska was in the bottom two last week. They are dancing the Jive and it seems that this is the same video week to week. LT gets all pissed off at himself and storms off. Warren Sapp come in to cheer him up and make him move. The dance is somewhat decent and a lot of smiling is going on. It seems like a nice dance for someone who dances well on Saturday nights in any old club, but not good enough for this show. Carrie Ann thinks LT got Stella's possession (groove) back. Len and Bruno agree. The scores are 7, 7, 8 for a total of 22.

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani dance fourth and we get the "I am so disappointed" video...*yawn*. I wish she was famous for being on Rock of Love Bus. They are dancing the Rumba and Melissa has to ooze... herpes... syphillis... no... romanticism. She is not a star.... blech. They come out in their yellow and Melissa has more sequins stuck to her bare back to cover up the obvious tramp stamp. The judges like her... The scores are 9. 9. 9 for a total of 27.

Lil Kim & Derek Hough is up next and I am IM'ing two different friends at teh same time. One friend refers to her as Lil Fucker and the other adores her. I love my friends. They are dancing the Jive and we learn that race relations are strong now... since Derek is so white and blonde. TW thinks it's funny that this hardened criminal is wearing prison outfits and dancing to Jailhouse Rock. She keeps making a face where I think she is actually pooping. The crowd likes it... and the judges? Bruno is nuts. Carrie Ann think it's mindblowing. Len didn't think there was enough "Jive" in it. Good for you Len. The scores are 10, 8, 10 for a total of 28.

*Side note* Samantha just called Len a "Poofy Head." God bless Samantha! (I have turned back to loving Samantha.)

Steve-O & Lacey Schwimmer dance next and he was last in teh judging last week, but not in the Bottom two! They are going to get romantic and dance the Rumba. The video is funny because Steve is a digusting fella and they are having trouble connecting. They bring the dog and Steve loves that dang dog... It's cute and I will vote for him now. The dance starts and it slowly builds into something... and I don't know what it is.. since the singing is so bad. During the dance... Lacey shows off that she can bend into many different positions. This is Steve-O's nicest dance so far, but he didn't do much either. The judges were mean, but Carrie Ann liked it best. The scores are 7, 4, 5 for a total of 16.

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke dance next and they are dancing the Jive. They are supposed to be having fun and Gilles is having trouble. If only he was a ... STAR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The music seems really wrong and bit too hard for the Jive. It was very slick and fast and a lot of neat stuff was in there. Len is a bit critical. Bruno gets critical too. Carrie Ann actually teases him. Interesting... The scores are 9, 8, 9 for a total of 26.

Chuck Wicks & Julianne Hough dance last and will dance the Rumba this week. So... the real live couple gets to look all romantic like. Chuck says something very right. "They really do love each other in real life and she doesn't want the judges to say... that they don't have any chemistry." Their training is rough on Chuck so they go out on their first date again at the Santa Monica Pier. Awwwww... it's a bad Nicholas Sparks book.... on my television screen... It's definitely a dance where Julianne does most of the work. The judges all think it was a bit hot and erotic, but admit that there was some mistakes technically. The scores are 8, 7, 8 for a total of 26.

Scores... Just a reminder!

Lil Kim & Derek Hough -- 28
Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani -- 27
Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke -- 26
Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas -- 26
Chuck Wicks & Julianne Hough -- 23
Lawrence Taylor & Edyta Sliwinska -- 22
Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower -- 18
Steve-O & Lacey Schwimmer -- 16

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