Tuesday, September 30, 2008

How I Met Your Mother

During DWTS last night, we switched over to How I Met Your Mother.

Very good episode...

Best line of the night?

"This burger is so good, I want to sew my ass shut!"

Dancing With the Stars -- Week Two, Dances Episode


Rhumba and Paso Doble are up this week and we get to see if they can do their dances with just four days of training! (Note my sarcasm...) The parade of stars comes down the stairs and holy crap... It looks like an S&M convention.

Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo are up first and Toni makes Alec do Karoake... and go figure... he sucks at it... So they start dancing again and Toni is feeling the pressure of the young ladies on the show and wears an even more revealing outfit than Edyta would wear. Let me just say this... "She's an outtie." They are dancing a beautiful Rhumba and Alec has her doing all these splits. Len loves her dancing. As does Bruno, but Carrie points out the lifts -- two of them. (Scores 7, 8, 8 - for a total of 23)

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough are up second and we review her good scores... Her biggest detriment is Derek. She is going to find her inner passion and aggression and dance the Paso Doble. Derek takes her to learn karate from what looks like a stereotypical drunk Irishman. Fascinating. Cleavage! Everyone is doing it... even the guys. The music is really fantastic because there is no singing... During the dips... the boobs were falling out. I liked it a lot... even though it was definitely a Derek dance... The judges all liked it for the most part... but found some faults... I am expecting 8s. (Scores 8, 8, 8 - for a total of 24)

FYI -- Have I ever mentioned that I dislike this band tremendously?

Rocco DiSpirito & Karina Smirnof bring their "hips of fury" third and seemingly charming AND boring at the same time.. Rocco reminds me that he has lots of emotions... Really? I seriously would not have guessed that. Rocco cooks for Karina and you can see her melting ... melting... (catch my drift? It's a play on words) Oh crap... the starts the dance with a tray, apron and glitter... Len will hate that... AND... its the Rhumba. Blech... he fake fed her glitter! Ick. The judges will be brutal. "The Stallion has run out of juice." Thank you Bruno for being rather accurate. -- (Scores 5, 6, 5 - for a total of 16)

P.S. I hate the word "musicality".

Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer gross me out into fourth... since I am not digging Lacey at all. They are not going to do something traditional. Fascinatingly interesting. Lance said that if you don't like his dance America... he is going to cry. So... it starts and it is completely unorthodox. It's pretty rigid and I think I am supposed to love Lacey's obvious tribute to her physique since it is all about worshipping her. Then... at the end.. Lacey makes out with Lance. I think I just figured it out. The song they danced to was... "I Kissed A Girl." Go ahead.. groan. Argh... Len hated it. Carrie and Bruno were not that flattering either. -- (Scores 7, 6, 7 - for a total of 20)

FYI -- Samantha should wear just purple and browns.

Kim Kardashian & Mark Ballas are up fifth. Crap. SHE IS NOT A REALITY STAR! SHE IS FAMOUS FOR HAVING SEX ON A TAPE AND YOU AMERICA KEEP ENCOURAGING HER. FRIGGING VOTE HER ASS OFF THIS SHOW. I CANNOT EVEN THINK RIGHT NOW. AMERICA IS MAKING ME MAD... 1. GAVE GEORGE BUSH A SECOND TERM. 2. KIM KARDASHIAN's SHOW IS ON LIKE HER 50TH SEASON. Kim is friends with the creator of the Pussycat Dolls.... ARGH... DAMMIT... RHUMBA BE DAMNED. To prove my point... her first move is to get on her knees and put her face in Mark's crotch. Bruno hates it. Len hates it. Carrie hates it. I hate it. LA hates it. TW hates it. We all hate it. -- (Scores 6, 6, 5 - for a total of 17)

FYI -- It was so bad that we had to take a How I Met Your Mother break...

Misty May Traenor & Maksim Chmerkovsky aka Dead Eyes and Creepy Immigrant dance for us and we get some footage of Misty playing volleyball. Maks is going to cut to the chase and be his usual dickface self. Misty is frustrated and I bet she comes out on top. So they come out to dance and it's a frigging S&M show. Misty looks rigid and I would say that she looks completely out of place with her costume and is upset to have to listen to this atrocious rendition of Take Me Out. Tentative... that's a better word TW. Thank you. Hrm... Carrie liked it. Bruno did too. -- (Scores 7, 7, 7 - for a total of 21)

FYI -- Samantha is just atrocious at her backstage interviews... seriously.

Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke was described by Tom as being slow out of the blocks. Puns are the best form of joke... ever. Maurice likes to do the Rhumba... and Cheryl is focussing a bit oo much on Maurice's hips... but.. he can't so she takes him to look at some professionals. Maurice is hamming it up way too much for the camera and it is pretty annoying. (Please vote him out next week.) He hasn't even danced yet! It was fine and nice... but boring. Len said it right. "You talk the talk, but you don't dance the dance....... Not bad." They even criticized Cheryl! -- (Scores 7, 6, 6 - for a total of 19)

FYI -- Even I feel awkward when Bruno says things truthfully and the audience blanks. I actually feel more sorry for him than awkward.

Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas are prepared to turn the ballroom upside down. Before they even start I am treated to the worst outfit on DWTS' history. She claims that she is going to get serious. This is not a joke, so I am feeling less inclined to like her, but... I do enjoy her. She has 1 million tons of costume on for the Paso Doble... I give her a slight pass for her age and it is a dance of passion... but Corky is doing all of the work. I don't expect very high technical scores at all. She is just having so much fun though and plays up to the crowd. -- (Scores 5, 5, 5 - for a total of 15)

FYI -- No one can get their stories straight. Did they have three or four days to prepare.

Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani dance next and I am annoyed just thinking about her. She arrives at All My Children and looks emaciated... and Cameron Matheson is on... again. I remembered hating him and liking him by the end. Tony Dovolani is such a nice person and patient with this insane woman. Susan Lucci's outfit is reminicent of the elf outfits from Lord of the Rings and I remain annoyed... (OK America... please vote her off next week instead of Maurice.) Carrie thought it was nice and Tony thought it was just ok. Len criticized Tony's open shirt for the whole dance and Tom looks uncomfortable, but mocks len anyway. -- (Scores 7, 7, 7 - for a total of 21)

FYI -- I am so excited... Samantha Who? returns in two weeks!

Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson are up and Tom throws out way too many footbal analogies. They are going to do the Paso Doble and Kym looks intense and is scary looking and awesome at the same time. Kym is tougher on him than normal... yeah yeah yeah... he can't laugh ... So they come out in leathery type outfits that is something out of the Matrix and I thought it was fun... even with him slipping a little at the end. Len likes it! Carrie loves it... and Bruno explodes in fun! -- (Scores 8, 8, 8 - for a total of 24)

FYI -- I am so glad that I have opposable thumbs.

Cody Linley & Julianne Hough are up last and Cody reminds me of a pre-schooler... Cody has to dance the Rhumba, which he claims is romantic and passionate... and is right when he admits that he doesn't have too much life experience. With that said... Julianne has chosen a great dance for him. They do really well... and he better get good scores even though I just think he is pretty bleh as a personality... mostly because he is so young. -- (Scores 7, 7, 7 - for a total of 21)

Just to remind you... of tonight's scores...

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough -- 24
Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson -- 24
Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo -- 23
Cody Linley & Julianne Hough -- 21
Misty May Traenor & Maksim Chmerkovsky -- 21
Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani -- 21
Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer -- 20
Kim Kardashian & Mark Ballas -- 17
Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke -- 17
Rocco DiSpirito & Karina Smirnof -- 16
Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas -- 15

Monday, September 29, 2008

Survivor Gabon -- 17 Seasons? Holy Crap!

So... for years, I think that CBS has actively given Survivor the shaft to try and kill it by NOT giving it a proper first night.

They have been burying it with unseen one hour debuts on random THursday evenings, but this week, they came out of the game at full speed and started it with a 2 hour premiere on the same night that My Name is Earl, Ugly Betty, and The Office all started.

So here we are at 17 seasons (8 1/2 years) and I am still looking forward to it. The best part is that it is in HD for the first time and the show starts with some awesome animal footage.


The players are dropped off in their street clothes and of course... you have the couple of dumb chicks who are wearing very little. Seriously... when will you learn?

We have a new beginning to the show where each of the players stands around The race beginsintroducing themselves and get some insight into them. Tradition dictates that the elders are to make the decisions so Jillian and Bob are directed to play a game of pick em by choosing tribes. They are picking people based on very little information and they don't even know each other's names. It is both awkward and confusing.

Michelle is left last and feels silly...

They are immediatly told that thye have to compete in a challenge where they have to race to the top of the hill. It is for immunity and essential. The first team's player to get there wins immunity for himself. The first entire team to get up to the top ensures lots of extra food for the players... on the team. Marcus wins immunity for his team and GC wins it for his team. This is now a race for extra food and Koda is the winner.

It's time to get to know the players ...

Bob's from Maine and he's pretty handy.
Jillian is old... and picks up elephant dung with her bare hands and shows it around to everyone.
Sugar (Jessica) is a cute pin up model with fake hair and laughs annoyingly.
Ken is a super shy fella, but you can tell that he and Michelle are hitting it off... even if she is too cute for him. I am getting a bad feeling about that relationship.
Ace is VERY Britishish...and REALLY Likes himself. Arrogant? Confident? Too much bravado? Ding Ding Ding
Charlie looks exactly like the last two gay reality show fellas I have watched. Booby on the Mole and Todd on the show Survivor. Charlie looooooves Marcus.
Randy has a bloody head at night because he banged the hell out of his head. It's gross. Medical comes to take a look and they give him some stitches. They are going to watch him and I care less about him and more about the fact that he is on my team.
Michelle is a funny chick, but she is a bit whiny because she is "cold". She isn't long for this game.

It's now time for the first immunity challenge. It's .... a... RACE! 6 tribe members are tied togets adn must work together through a series of obstacles. The final three people have to solve a puzzle. Kota... the pretty tribe... vs... Fang.. the more athletic tribe. (P.S. Bob.. the older physics teacher from Maine... is still wearing his bow tie.) During the race... Jeff is especailly abusive and tauntingy-ing.

Kota wins... and I am guessing that the old lady Gillian is going home.

The negotiations begin and the early choice look to be Michelle, but Randy and others seems to like the idea of Gillian. The ominous walk to Tribal Council begins and Jeff reminds us that FIRE REPRESENTS YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did not know that.

Jeff begins to earn his best reality tv show host Emmy award and drills the players. The theme here is that Michelle is annoying and everyone else is pissed at her for being a "Negative Nancy."

The bitterness and the inability to bond is apparent and GC is chosen as the leader in a wacky and odd exchange... let's get to the vote and get rid of one of these pains in the asses.

Here come the votes... Michelle, Gillian, Michelle, Michelle, Michelle, Michelle. Bye Bye Michelle and your cool tattoos... now Ken has to fall in love with someone else.

Crap.. she's mine.


GC is apprehensive about being the leader, but gets right into making fire for the group.

Charlie swoons over Uber Heterosexual Marcus and their alliance and conversations are a bit awkward to me. We continue to get some insight into the players including Randy who is all about letting people "Crash & Burn".

Corinne is scheming and seems to have alligned Marcus, Jacque, Charlie and herself into a 4 person alliance.

Fang... CANNOT GET ALONG... they are quickly in the running for the worst tribe ever. GC quits as leader. The conversation switches to figuring out who is the next leader. No one is chosen, but before the next challenge, Dan gets the idea of painting everyone's face with charcoal.

Immunity & reward are back up for grabs... and the tribes must push a huge ball through some gates and pick up some keys and do some other stuff. IT'S A RACE.

The twist! The winning tribe chooses someone to go to Exile Island... that's the same twist as last time.

The race begins and Jeff taunts everyone. Kota takes a lead and can't get their ball on the pedastel right away so some drama is created... but... alas... Kota wins in the last second. Dan is chosen to go to Exile Island.

I think Bob and Marcus might be two of the best guys ever on this show and they are the exact opposites of each other.

Dan the lawyer is on the island and the REAL twist to Exile Island is that he has to choose between a clue to an immunity idol or comfort. (Because... this IS Earth's Last Eden... get it? clue... versus the "apple"? Still don't get it? Dummy.) We get lots of footage of Dan looking for the idol in the "sandy crater" and he digs and digs... and the editors keep showing us the sandy crater. Dan's the new dummy... not you.

Some alliances are finally developing... and they finally recognize that Gillian is the problem... while she is trying to distract everyone with Ken. Dan is also considered for the chopping block.

Tribal Council is interesting as this team continues to have a lack of unity.

The game is the same, and MB and I have completed a draft. This season, I have gone with the absolute random and drawn people's names out of a hat to see who I want to win. I have been fortunate with this strategy before and I hope to win again! It's down to Dan and Gillian... the tribe will have to decide whether or not they think Dan found the idol.

The votes come in Gillian, Ken, Gillian, Gillian, Gillian, Gillian...

Bye Bye Gillian....

Tucker's Nuts
1. Charlie Herschel(1)
2. Paloma Soto-Castillo(4)
3. Jacque Berg(5)
5. Susie Smith(9)
6. Matty Whitmore(12)
7. Randy Bailey(13)
8. Bob Crowley(16)
9. Jessica Kiper(17)
4. Michelle Chase(8) -- Booted Week One

Assshfault Warriors
1. Ken Hoang (2)
2. Dan Kay (3)
3. Corinne Kaplan (6)
4. Ace Gordon (7)
5. Kelly Czarnecki(10)
6. Danny Brown aka GC (11)
7. Crystal Cox(14)
8. Marcus Lehman(15)
9. Gillian Larson(18) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!

Sunday, September 28, 2008

Saturday, September 27, 2008


I hope this doesn't mean that we aren;t going to get the microwave popcorn or pasta sauce anymore....

Friday, September 26, 2008

Days Like Today

I hate days like today:

* Leave the house at 6:30 am.
* Drive 125 miles
* Attend two hour meeting (MAX)
* Drive 125 back

Then -- throw in the hydroplaning and heavy rains and I want to shoot someone. Anyone. Go head and cut me off. I dare you.

Madden 09 is My Game

I took the shit Raiders and beat the Bills.

Thursday, September 25, 2008

Dancing With the Stars - Day 3, Week 1


Guess What?


It's time to start the long drawn out process of saving stars from elimination.

We get lots of hooplah and gype and then the professionals all come out for a routine before a screaming crowd and a butchered version of David Bowie's Under Pressure by that suck ass band.

Samantha is wearing her best color -- Brown and her hair is down and normal and lovely.

The first couple saved is... Brooke Burke and Derek Hough (yeah!)
The second couple saved is... Kim Kardashian & Mark Ballas (Shit... the whore remains)

We are treated to Jeff Ross dancing the Quick Step he learned and wasn't allowed to perform last night... *sigh* Bye Bye Edyta.

Backstage -- We get an interview with the absolutely lovely Brooke and Dead in the Eyes Whorebag Kim Kardashian.

The third couple saved is... Cloris Leachman and Corky Ballas (Insanity!!!!) The two lowest scorers are saved... and early!

Jessie McCartney sings and the young girls SCREECH. (I don't get it.)

Adam Carolla is doing a man on the street thing and interviews people. He is a funny fella and I am impressed that they like him to do this.

The fourth couple saved is... Maurice Greene and Cheryl Burke (Ho Hum)

God... I hate the Jonas Brothers... and then a stupid video montage.

The fifth couple saved is... Misty May Traenor & Maxksim Chmerkovsky
The sixth couple saved is... Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson

Backstage interview time... and Samantha just can't do it.

The seventh couple saved is... Susan Lucci and Tony Dovolani (Tony looks "thrilled")
The eighth couple saved is... Rocco DiSpirito & Karina Smirnov
The ninth couple saved is... Lance Bass & Lacey Schwimmer (I am torn.)
The tenth couple saved is... Cody Linley & Julianne Hough

The final two couples are Ted McGinley & Inna Brayer AND Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo

The second person booted is... Ted McGinley * Inna Brayer. (I am not surprised... but he's a fun fella regardless... Good luck you Shark Jumper You!

Wednesday, September 24, 2008

Dancing With the Stars Day Two Week One

Let's recap... Toy Boy... Grannies Gone Wild... Your mom ain't no Cloris Leachman. Somebody's going home tonight!


They combine reviews from last night with saving/eliminating people and then... having them dance... CONFUSING!

First saved is Lance Bass & Lacey Schwimmer and they are dancing the QUick Step. Lacey's outfit is far more reserved than last night's interesting outfit... I don't mean to be rude, but is Lacey thick in the hips... and seems to have a Conehead? She's got a few more years of cute left in her. Now... loook at Lance dance do his moves... he is entirely in step with Lance and then the ending happened which was just plain anti-climatic and Lacey tried to kiss Lance. Lance's response to this was like a 4th grade boy who doesn't like girls. LEn hates young people while Bruno and Carrie liked it better. (Scores 7, 6, 8 - for a total of 21)

Second saved is Misty May Traenor & Maksim Chmerkovsky (swoon Lori). Her dead eyes are still creeping me out. Something just seems really creepy about her in her super girly outfits. She is awkward and claims to be which I almost find ironic because a big part of her success is how awesome she has looked in a bikini. They are dancing some Spanish dance... I didn't quite hear waht it was.... so when they start shaking their chests... I realize it's the Mambo and Misty's outfit is distracting... (Scores 7, 7, 7 - for a total of 21)

What the hell is on Samantha's head? I think her extensions have extensions.

Third saved is Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke. It's a bird! It's a plane! It's... Cliche Man! The Mambo is his next dance. He is going to try hard and I am forced to think... Does Maurice have a day job that will get in the way? Seriously. The dance starts and Their outfits remind me of the Solid Gold dancers. Cheryl is an amazing choreographer and Maurice is asked to do the Worm regardless. Full of energy and fun. The judges thought it was fun too. (Scores 7, 7, 7 it's a theme - for a total of 21)

Fourth saved is Brooke Burke & Derek Hough. Derek was so excited that he lost his voice. YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THe whole practice session was about making sure that Derek never felt her boobies against his chest so they use her new baby as a buffer and there was the sound of lots of jealous mommies who love her as a mommy. She and Derek are doing the Quick Step and looking fine in their whiteish outfits. The QS always throws me off because I am never quite sure who does a good or bad job. I think these two did a good job. Good... so did the judges. (Scores 9, 8, 9 - for a total of 26)

Fifth saved is Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas. Cloris is insane and probably making me laugh even right now. She understands that she is older than the Mambo. Heh heh... There is the obligatory... old lady doing sexy things bit, but it is still cute. Cloris and Corky also remind me of the Solid Gold dancers... She shouldn't be on the show forever because this dance is horrible in terms of dancing, but there is an awful lot of entertainment factor going on here. (Scores 6, 5, 5 - for a total of 16)

Sixth saved is Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo. Toni is dancing again and she brought in her heart disease again so it is a sympathy card again. Alex notes that she doesn't breathe right. The drama! Will she make it all the way through the Quick Step? The blue is reminiscent of the Smurfs... but alas... it's all I have since the milk toast is good but not as good as earlier dances. Toni's kind of a boring interview. (Scores 8, 7, 8 - for a total of 23)

Seventh saved is Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson. Damn you Warren for you being so endearing. He's going to be doing the Quick Step and it's a big awkward dance for a 300 pound man. He keeps calling himself Fatboy though... that's a tad bit annoying. Grimace and his purple milshake friend are out there... Purple!!!!!!!! He's a bit stiff, but I gotta admit that I liked it a lot... Entertaining... (Scores 7, 7, 8 - for a total of 22)

Eighth saved is Ted McGinley & Inna Brayer. Ted's gonna Mambo and he thinks he is Mambo McGinley. What else am I going write about him? he is going to be an interesting dancer with lots of facial expressions and the likes. It looked like a fine little dance and I bet it gets lots of high marks. Apparently... I am going to be wrong. Carrie really was tough on him. (Scores 6, 6, 7 - for a total of 19)

Ninth saved is Cody Linley & Julianne Hough. The Quick Step is next for him. Julianne thinks her partner is too loose and it's because he's so young? Julianne... Juilanne... Julianne... The band reminds me of how much I hate them by butchering yet another song. Cody seems to be taking too many steps, and he smiles with his big white teeth... and the dance ends with me staring at Julianne. (Scores 8, 7, 8 - for a total of 23)

Tenth saved is Rocco DiSpirito & Karina Smirnof. They are dancing the Mambo Italiano. Rocco isn't much of a hip dancer so this will be horrible I predict. I think Karina has worn her yellow dress before.... Eh... and the improvement was evident from last night though, but not nearly as bad as last night.(Scores 7, 7, 7 - for a total of 21)

Eleventh saved is Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani. I am not going to say much because she is insane and look at her fake reaction to everything. NUUUUUUUT JOB. (Scores 7, 7, 8 - for a total of 22)

The final saved is Kim Kardashian & Mark Ballas. It kills me that Kim keeps stating that she is best known for being a reality TV star. No.. (and I totally steal this from Joel McHale on Talk Soup. Kim is known for her big ass and for making a sex tape. Kiss my ass you hack. Now... no one vote for her... b/c she ... stinks... and that means you Danielle! (Scores 6, 6, 6 - for a total of 18)

Jeffrey Ross & Edyta Sliwinski are booted.

Bye Bye Jeffrey. Bye Bye Edyta... it was way out of your hands.

Let's recap for tomorrow night's elimination show...

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough -- 26
Cody Linley & Julianne Hough -- 23
Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo -- 23
Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson -- 22
Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani -- 22
Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer -- 21
Misty May Traenor & Maksim Chmerkovsky -- 21
Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke -- 21
Rocco DiSpirito & Karina Smirnof -- 21
Ted McGinley & Inna Brayer -- 19
Kim Kardashian & Mark Ballas -- 18
Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas -- 16

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Dancing WIth the Stars is Back! First Episode.

We start off with 13 stars -- more than any other year... and for the first time... they will have to learn TWO dances for the first week... WOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Let's meet the stars of season 7. (Cue crazy music and they are coming out so fast, that I don't have any intention of typing all of their names into it... ) Let me just type something that I know you are all thinking... Samantha is gorgeous and so is Edyta.

First up is Cody Linley & my girlfriend Julianne Hough. The Hannah Montana crowd is all cued up for the HM star and we get to meet the 18 year old kid get all horny for Julianne Hough as he learns to dance. They have to dance the Cha Cha first. Julianne's outfit is from the Edyta Sliwinski's closet... as it barely hangs on her body and shows off her legs and back. For a first dance, I am pretty impressed. The judges think they did good for the first week. (Scores 6, 6, 6 -- for a total of 18)

Next up is Rocco DiSpirito & Karina Smirnoff. HE's a chef, but the more interesting aspect of them is that Karina hurt herself in rehearsal, but she has decided to dance anyway. Rocco is an interesting character who is either incredibly humbe and charming or a complete total. They are dancing the Foxtrot and I think his smile in infectious even if his dancing is a tad awkward (still better than I would do!) The judges hated them but thought it was cute. (Scores 5, 4, 5 -- for a total of 14)

Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo are up third. Alec is a bit "arrogant" and I am impressed with Toni's getting over her recently diagnosed angina. She is a performer so she already has a leg up on her competitors. (Is it ironic that the worst singing performance is during the singer's dance? -- Discuss amongst yourselves.) Her dance seems cute and somehat stilted to me. Carrie loved it. (Scores 7, 7, 8 -- for a total of 22)

Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke dance fourth. Maurice quickly establishes himself as an antagonist with a good sense of humor and a GIANT smile. The editors are going to have a field day with him. He is full of cliches so far though. They are dancing the Fox Trot. The dance is INCREDIBLY Stiff and lacks life for an energeting fellow.... then it picks up... then... slows down... PICK ONE!!! The judges weren't that fond AND fond. (Scores 6, 6, 6 -- for a total of 18)

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough -- the cutest couple on the show. I learned something about Brooke -- she's a mother of four and she still has that phenomenal body. Oh wait... she's gotta dance now... Both TW and I had to get past that... She dances a lovely Cha Cha... She could have face planted... I still would have said it was lovely... ALRIGHT?!?!?!?! The audience reaction was phenomenally loud. The judges liked it too. (Scores 7, 8, 8 -- for a total of 23)

Ted McGinley & Inna Brayer are up sixth. This show has officially JUMPED THE SHARK! If you know what I mean... then congrats... if you don't... check out the web page. Ted's handsome and charming and a bit too much so. Inna is a tough girl from Brooklyn. Eh... it was fine. (Scores 6, 6, 6 -- for a total of 18)

Lance Bass & Lacey Schwimmer are up and Lacey has a bit of edge... or so she likes to think. Lacey does a lot of things that to me would be inappropriate as she teaches... but I think... and somewhat fairly that since Lance is gay, she can get away with a bit more. I am probably wrong though... and her outfit is a bit over the top. Oh goodie... Len hates young people again... and Carrie thinks it's hot. (Scores 8, 6, 8 -- for a total of 22)

Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas are up next are up and I am SOOOOOO looking forward to her after just seeing her on the roast of Bob Saget. Corky Ballas is the father of Mark Ballas from last year. Cloris is 82 and filthy. I adore her... even though her 82 year old boobs are all out and about for all to look at Not horrible and not great. Her attitude and humor will keep her around. She got editted... and she is acting all sexy for laughs... See? I love her. (Scores 6, 5, 5 -- for a total of 15)

I just looked at the MOnday Night Football score... two of them in a row with over 40 points in the first half... WOW.

Jeffrey Ross & Edyta Sliwinski Dance next. I have loved Jeffrey Ross for years as he is a great roaster. He scractched his cornea earlier in the day and is still going to dance. He is a stand up comedian. He has a "heart of gold and loves onion rings" so he will dance a great Cha Cha... His dancing is horrible, but I hope they keep around just for the laughs... That onion rings line was hilarious and I don't think he is long for this competition. The judges don't seem too either. (Scores 4, 4, 4-- for a total of 12)

Kim Kardashian & Mark Ballas are up. Easily... the couple I am going to hate. Kim is best known for being a "reality tv" star. I thought she was known for being in a sex tape (Shout out to Joel McHale.) I also hate Mark Ballas... Suck it guys. Let's go for the easy ones... She "has terrible balance"... it's because you have a huge ass. She's dancing a Foxtrot...... blech... I hate her and how she has ruined the good image of Bruce Jenner... you sex tape whooo-or. The crowd is friendly to her. (Scores 6, 7, 6 -- for a total of 19)

Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani are up. He seems to always draw the endearing old lady. She is incredibly annoying to me. She is also incredibly small and I didn't realize she was that small. It starts off a lot clumsy and slow. She's an absolute mess... and is horrible. The judges treated her a bit too frail. She needs to take a baseball bat to the face though... especially when she acts way too young with Bruno... (Scores 5, 5, 5 -- for a total of 15)

Did anyone else notice how Samantha is still really toned in the arms, but not as muscley?

Misty May Traenor & Maksim Chmerkovsky are second to last and something is bugging me about her. I still think it goes back to letting the do do brain President smack her ass. I can't get over that. make up is her friend... even glitter make up. The judges think they are intense. (Scores 6, 8, 7 -- for a total of 21)

Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson are up. I have to both like and hate Sapp since he beat the Bucs beat my beloved Raiders in teh Super BOwl, but then he played with them for a few years after that. Warren has always been charismatic and he is still. His dance was... entertaining and I like Kym.... and her choreography since it is almost always fun and cute. I really liked the last move. (Scores 7, 7, 7 - for a total of 21)

Let's review the scores.... better vote because someone is going home tomorrow! The remining dancers all have to dance one more time for ANOTHER elimination on Wednesday night!

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough -- 23
Lance Bass & Lacey Schwimmer -- 22
Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo -- 22
Misty May Traenor & Maksim Chmerkovsky -- 21
Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson -- 21
Kim Kardashian & Mark Ballas -- 19
Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke -- 18
Cody Linley & Julianne Hough -- 18
Ted McGinley & Inna Brayer -- 18
Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas -- 15
Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani -- 15
Rocco DiSpirito & Karina Smirnof -- 14
Jeffrey Ross & Edyta Sliwinski -- 12

Monday, September 22, 2008

Book 64 of 52 -- Faye Kellerman's Mercedes Coffin

The Mercedes Coffin by Faye Kellerman is the seventeenth Peter Decker and Rina Lazarus mystery.

Having read all of the preceding mysteries, this is like visiting with old friends and very enjoyable.

Peter Decker is asked to investigate a fifteen year old murder that is now a cold case, that of a very popular guidance counselor from a Los Angeles school who was found in the trunk of his Mercedes shot in the back of the head execution style.

Interest in the case has been raised because someone else has been murdered in the same fashion and found in the trunk of their Mercedes.

Faye Kellerman always writes a well plotted, interesting mystery and The Mercedes Coffin is no exception.

I enjoy reading about the Decker and Lazarus family as much as I enjoy the mystery.

The only fault I found with this book is that Rina Lazarus did not play as important a role in this book as she has in others I've read.

But that said, I enjoyed The Mercedes Coffin very much and it kept me turning pages until the end.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Saturday, September 20, 2008

Humor for Lexophiles - people who suffer from that dreaded disease Lexophilia (Lovers of Words)

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.

Police were called to a day care where a 3-yr-old was resisting a rest.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

When fish are in s chools, they sometimes take debate.

The short fortune teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.

A thief who stole a calendar got 12 months.

A thief fell & broke his leg in wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles , U.C.L.A.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

A dentist & a manicurist fought tooth and nail.

A bicycle can't stand alone; it is two tired.
A will is a dead giveaway.

Time flies like an arrow; fruit flies like a banana.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it's your vote that counts; in feudalism, it's your Count that votes.

A chicken crossing the road: poultry in motion.

If you don't pay your exorcist you can get repossessed.

Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft & I'll show you a flat miner.

The guy who fell onto an upholstery machine was fully recovered.

A grenade fell onto a kitchen floor in France - resulted in Linoleum Blownapart.

You are stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

A calendar's days are numbered.

A lot of money is tainted: 'Taint yours, and 'taint mine.

A hardboiled egg is hard to beat.

He had a photographic memory which was never developed.

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

When you've seen one shopping center, you've seen a mall.

When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.

S anta's helpers are subordinate clauses.

Acupuncture: a jab well done.

Friday, September 19, 2008

Aye Matey...

Talk like a pirate... or I'll make you walk the plank.


Book 63 of 52 -- Brad Meltzer's Book of Lies

The title says it all... almost.

It doesn't say perposterous or stupid or inane.

I saw the author's interview on TV and, by the way he was talking about his book, I thought I was going to learn things on old legends, myths, and others coming from the beginning of time.

Instead I discovered an incredible boring book, a sort of series B Da Vinci Code.

The only good part is when I finally finished it, as I have a habit of always getting to the end of a book thinking there might be a final twist that would reward me.

Not this time!

Thursday, September 18, 2008

Facebook Status

Smelmooo welcomes the lobsters to the ranks. May we have many years of service together.

Cleanest Body Part?

For some reason, about 3 months ago, I realized that I have a body part that by the time I am done with my shower... is the cleanest part on my body.

What I mean is... I wash that part a lot more than any other.

For weeks and months, I have paid attention to my showering habits and confirmed my suspicions.

I take the soap and apply and rub there more than anywhere else... by far.

I am right handed so I take the soap in my right hand and I start the lathering up with my left forearm.

Any time I need the soap to get going, I apply it and rub up my left forearm and inside elbow.

What about you?

Pay attention... you might be surprised.

Wednesday, September 17, 2008

Typical Facebook Email

Just like the other 100+ million people in the world, I joined Facebook a little while ago.

I have been barraged with friends requests from people I like and people I don't like.

I have also been getting a ton of requests from people that I have to go back to my yearbook to remember who the hell they were/are!

Here's a typical email.

"Dear Person,

Oh my god!

How are you?!?!?!

Isn't Facebook amazing?

I am doing well... let me know what you are up to!


I am not sure how to be friendlier to people that I forgot even existed.

No joke.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Book 62 of 52 -- Kathy Reichs' Deja Dead

Temperance Brennan is smart, strong willed and one of the best forensic anthropologists in the world.

When a series of female corpses are found, dismembered and stuffed into trash bags, she detects they are all linked.

This would be a great novel but for the fact that the character is so flawed it is almost unbelievable.

She has no social skills, not even with one of her best friends who she knew since college.

How did she ever get married or get work in Quebec?

While all characters should have flaws and merits, her lack of social skills and her swift temper seems to be more fitting for the killer or alien invader than the main character.

Being a fan of BONES I can see where they took the character and softened it for the TV series.

The TV version has to have some chance for romance.

While the book version MAY have a chance, it isn't going to be happening in this book or any time too soon.

Monday, September 15, 2008

Three Word Movie Reviews

Baby Mama -- Not AWESOME... Decent

Bananas -- Classic and Silly

Black Books (Season 1) -- Entertaining Witty Humor

Black Books (Season 2) -- Laughed Out Loud

Black Books (Season 3) -- Silly and Hysterical

Chicago 10 -- Powerful Deep Film

Deal -- Goofy Yet Passable

Dexter (Season 2) -- This Show Rules

The Fall -- Sweet and Beautiful

Felon -- Surprised Me. GREAT.

Little Britian: Abroad -- Great Show. Funny

Miss Pettigrew Lives For a Day -- Good? Bad? Dunno....

My Sassy Girl -- Surprisingly Entertaining. Cute.

Redbelt -- Dramatic. Classic Mamet.

The Riddle -- Slow AND Tedious

Sarah Langdon and the Paranormal Hour -- Just Plain Awful

Scorpion King 2 -- Just Plain Awful

Son of Rambow -- Adorable and Quirky

Street Kings -- Didn't Like. Boring.

Trailer Park Boys (Season 6) -- Just Plain Genius

Trailer Park Boys (Season 7) -- Still Plain Genius

Virgin Territory -- Bad As Thought

Waitress -- Cute Funny Still

What Happens in Vegas -- Boring and Dumb

Saturday, September 13, 2008

you know you're a redneck when... (2008 Version)

you know you're a redneck when...

1. You take your dog for a walk and you both use the same tree.

2. You can entertain yourself for more than 15 minutes with a fly swatter.

3. Your boat has not left the driveway in 15 years.

4. You burn your yard rather than mow it.

5. You think 'The Nutcracker' is a vice on the work bench.

6. The Salvation Army declines your furniture.

7. You offer someone the shirt off your back and they don't want it.

8. You have the local taxidermist on speed dial.

9. You come back from the dump with more than you took.

10. You keep a can of Raid on the kitchen table.

11. Your wife can climb a tree faster than your cat.

12. Your grandmother has ammo on her Christmas list.

13. You keep flea and tick soap in the shower.

14. You've been involved in a custody fight over a hunting dog.

15. You go to the stock car races and don't need a program.

16. You know how many bales of hay your car will hold.

17. You have a rag for a gas cap.

18. Your house doesn't have curtains, but your truck does.

19. You wonder how gas stations keep their restrooms so clean.

20. You can spit without opening your mouth.

21. You consider your license plate personalized because your father made it.

22. Your lifetime goal is to own a fireworks stand.

23. You have a complete set of salad bowls and they all say "Cool Whip" on the side.

24. The biggest city you've ever been to is Wal-Mart.

25. Your working TV sits on top of your nonworking TV.

26. You've used your ironing board as a buffet table.

27. A tornado hits your neighborhood and does $100,000 worth of improvements.

28. You've used a toilet brush to scratch your back.

29. You missed your 5th grade graduation because you were on jury duty.

30. You think fast food is hitting a deer at 65.

Friday, September 12, 2008

Buying Dexter -- Season 2 -- We Were in a Car Chase

Tangentwoman and I love the show Dexter, but we don't have Showtime, so we were excited for the new season to come out on DVD a few weeks ago.

We popped over to our local Target on the day that it came out to buy it for our vacation.

When we arrived at 5:00 pm, it was sold out!

A woman was standing at the display as well since we couldn't believe that an entire display of the show was sold out!

We asked an employee who told us that it was sold out when he arrived earlier in the day and he recommended that we head over to Wal-mart to get it.

The lady and us got into our cars and raced over to the store -- a race that we eventually won.

We stormed the store and found the Dexter section which was an even bigger display than the one at Target.

We found two copies left and just as we got there... the other lady arrived.

I grabbed both copies and ran screaming... "MWAH HA HA HA HA HA HA" even though TW remained behind shaking her head.

I slinked back and gave the other lady a copy since I didn't really need two copies.

There was much rejoicing.

Thursday, September 11, 2008


I remember too.

Some people just cope differently.

No need to get judgmental.

Book 61 of 52 -- Chris Moore's LAMB: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal

So, when I first saw this book, I knew I needed to read it, just from the title.

I was laughing my face off the first few pages and who wouldn't?

The book is through the eyes of rough yet suave young childhood friend, Levi called Biff and he accompanies Jesus on his journey to meet the three wisemen and the both learn some interesting stuff.

It goes all the way until Jesus' death.

Moore did research history and culture very well, and you get right into that time frame.

You fall in love with Biff immediatley and it's a really light-hearted book and I recommend it to everyone.

Just remember it is ficiton, but there is a message that Jesus was just as human as the rest of us-and we can relate to him cuz he went through the same crap we did.

Thank God for that and thank God for this book! Go read it!

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

Book 60 of 52 -- Leonard Johnson's The Ditch Digger: The Life Of J. Fletcher Creamer

I was asked to read this book for work as it somewhat relates to what it is that I do for a living.

I found many of the chapters to be satisfactory, but it is far from a book for everyone.

I do, however, like these stories of folks who push and push and strive for greatness against all odds and achieve that greatness.

He is that type of man.

Tuesday, September 09, 2008

Vacation Highlights

My wife and I had what was known as an incredibly relaxing and wonderful vacation.

We rented the same house we did last year with friends (We missed you friends!), but by ourselves this year.

The highlights of the trip included:

Catching Only One Fish -- I caught two fish... one on my own and one by mistake. I accidentally fell asleep with my line cast and when I woke up, I reeled in the line to clean up and go inside. There was no fight to the line or tugs. As I reeled it in, I saw that there was a fish on the end! It had tangled itself up in the line and wasn't even attached to a hook. Chump fish... chump.

The Windsor Fair -- We found a fun agricultural fair where the highlight for me besides the sheep and cows was the "Garden Tractor - Tractor Pull" and it was won by a girl who pulled the tractor out of the arena!

Watching My Wife Read Books For Pleasure -- Enough said. She breezed through so many and was so content. It was wonderful to see.

Misjudging Amount of Food Needed -- We planned at the supermarket since we didn't really ever leave the house... and we still had way too much food... even with me gorging.

Oh yeah... Tucker was with us and that was super awesome too.

Monday, September 08, 2008

Quick and Random Thoughts

Sons of Anarchy is frigging awesome and I am amazed at how phenomenal Katey Sagal looks. Wow.

True Blood is good campy and silly fun.

Hole in the Wall was just drivel.

I went to bed twice this weekend and woke up both times with "Don't Cry For Me Argentina" in my head.


I have a golf outing later this week. It's good to be the king.

Tucker and His T-Bone

During a recent trip to New York City, I went to a steakhouse near Grand Central Station called Wolfgangs.

As a leftover from the meal, I was lucky enough to walk home with two huge T-Bone bones in a doggie bag.

Here's what one of them looked like.

Tucker immediately shoved it into his mouth and ran around the house a bit excited to eat the meat flavored bone, but while running from room to room to begin his domination of the bone, he kept tripping on it since his feet as so close to his body.

After some time and pure determination, he conquered the T-Bones and turned them into this.

Good work Tucker.

Good work.

Sunday, September 07, 2008


A little boy went up to his father and asked: "Dad, where did all of my intelligence come from?"

The father replied. "Well son, you must have got it from your mother, because I still have mine."
"Mr. Clark, I have reviewed this case very carefully," the divorce Court Judge said, "And I've decided to give your wife $775 a week."

"That's very fair, your honour," the husband said. "And every now and then I'll try to send her a few bucks myself."
A doctor examined a woman, took the husband aside, and said, "I don't like the looks of your wife at all."

"Me neither doc," said the husband. "But she's a great cook and really good with the kids".
An old man goes to the Wizard to ask him if he can remove a curse he has been living with for the last 40 years.

The Wizard says, "Maybe, but you will have to tell me the exact words that were used to put the curse on you".

The old man says without hesitation, "I now pronounce you man and wife."
Two Reasons Why It's So Hard To Solve A Redneck Murder:

1. All the DNA is the same.
2. There are no dental records.
A blonde calls Delta Airlines and asks, "Can you tell me how long it'll take to fly from San Francisco to New York City ?"

The agent replies, "Just a minute.."

"Thank you," the blonde says, and hangs up.
A man is recovering from surgery when a nurse asks him how he is feeling. "I'm O. K. But I didn't like the four-letter word the doctor used in surgery," he answered.

"What did he say," asked the nurse.

While shopping for vacation clothes, my husband and I passed a display of bathing suits. It had been at least ten years and twenty pounds since I had even considered buying a bathing suit, so I sought my husband's advice.

"What do you think?" I asked. "Should I get a bikini or an all-in-one?"

"Better get a bikini," he replied. "You'd never get it all in one."

He's still in intensive care.

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Happy Birthday to Tangentwoman...

Here's many good wishes to the super sweet and awesome wife named Tangentwoman.



Friday, September 05, 2008

Book 59 of 52 -- Joe Hill's Heart Shaped Box

An aging rocker with a penchant for the grotesque and for using and discarding women.

His only truly warm feelings seem to be for his dogs because dogs, after all, love you no matter what.

A young, beautiful groupie, who, like all the others, wants more that Jude can bring himself to give.

When he buys the ghost advertised on an online auction, and opens the box it arrives in, everything changes in an instant, and life will never be the same for either of them (or for the dogs!)

Heart Shaped Box is a modern ghost story full of almost believable supernatural threats.

Following Jude and Mary Beth as they pour first their intellects, then their instincts, and finally their very souls into evading the deaths that seem inevitable, is a captivating experience.

Fast paced, literate, and tailor made for those dark and stormy nights.

Thursday, September 04, 2008

Madden 09 For Wii

Does anyone else have it?

I am looking for friendly opponents!


They have started already. I got this 5 times yesterday.

Book 58 of 52 -- J.R. Moehringer's The Tender Bar

I really enjoyed this memoir by J.R. Moehringer, Pulitzer-Prize winning writer for the Los Angeles Times.

Moehringer grew up in Manhasset, New York. He was raised without his disc jockey father, who abandoned the family when Moehringer was just a baby.

The father is often referred to as the Voice, and Moehringer would spend countless hours trying to locate his dad on the radio.

They did get together a handful of times, but each of those occasions ended in disappointment for Moehringer, who felt himself torn between idolizing the older man, and hating him for abusing his mother.

The memoir details the close relationship between Moehringer and his mother, and she comes across as someone strong and loving.

Moehringer goes on to talk about the neighborhood bar, originally called "Dickens", which becomes such a major part of his life. It is where he most feels the company of men, and where he comes to find his self-esteem.

Of course, over time, Moehringer begins to understand that the bar has become a crutch, and even worse, not a place of redemption but a place that is holding him back from success.

I strongly recommend this book. It is utterly charming, poignant, and very very funny.

Wednesday, September 03, 2008

Book 57 of 52 -- Michael Pellowski's Rutgers Football: A Gridiron Tradition in Scarlet

Easy to sum up.

3 good years.

403,399 bad years.

Lots of good pictures.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Getting to Know the Smelmooo

Welcome to the 2008 edition of getting to know your friends. Change all the answers so they apply to you, and then send this to your friends including the person who sent it to you. The theory is that you will learn a lot of little things about your friends that you might not have known! HIT FORWARD...then back out my answers and add your own. (or just blog it... and hope that someone answers it in your comments section.)

1. What time did you get up this morning? for good? 6-ish. Nothing funny about that, but it doesn make some of my friends cringe.

2. What time did you go to bed last night? Probably about midnightish, but sleep comes sometime after that.

3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Pineapple Express

4. What are your favorite TV shows? In no particular order: Survivor, The Office, 30 Rock, and more...

5. What do you usually have for breakfast? On a good day, cereal. On a bad day, pizza or something with sausage, egg, and cheese on it.

6. What food do you crave most often in the morning? mmmm...sausage, egg and cheese!

7. What food do you dislike? Oh goodness me... Indian food.

8. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince

9. What kind of car do you drive? Black, Ford Edge

10. What is your favorite Sandwich? Crimefighter at Sub Place Better.... way too much food on a bun... OR... my real favorite... The Fat Koko at the Grease Trucks.

11. What characteristic do you despise? Unreliability -- C'mon, just tell me you can't do it if you can't do it.

12. Favorite item of clothing? T-shirts

13. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would it be? Just make it a place with my wife.

14. Where would you retire to? Maine and Phoenix (as of today)

15. What was your most recent memorable birthday? Everyone since 2001

16. Furthest place you are sending this? The Internet

17. Person you expect to send it back first? Don't care.

18. When is your birthday? 11/19

19. Morning person or a night person? Morning & Night

20. Pets? TUCKER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

21. Any new and exciting news you'd like to share with us? Nooooooooooo?

22. What did you want to be when you were little? I honestly don't remember.... probably a professional basketball player

23. How are you today? Same old, same old

24. What is your favorite flower? Daisy... in the Pushing kind.

25. What is the day on the calendar? Today

26. What are you listening to right now? The Comedy Central Roast of Bob Saget

27. What was the last thing you ate? Food

28. Do you wish on stars? Nah... that's for others...

29. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Ass-kicking Aphalt.

30. How is the weather right now? Too warm for me.

31. Last person you spoke to on the phone? Muh wife

32. Favorite soft drink? Diet Coke

33. Favorite restaurant? Any restaurant I can walk to. I don't really have a favorite restaurant now that I think about it.

34. Hair color? Brown.

35. What was your favorite toy as a child? Matchbox cars.

36. Summer or winter? Winter

37. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate

38. Coffee or tea? Tea

39. Do you want your friends to email you back? Always

40. What is under your bed? Lots of dust bunnies, TW's crap

41. What did you do last night? Made up funny stuff and my wife laughed at it.

42. What are you afraid of? Nothing really.

43. Salty or sweet? Sweet

44. How many keys on your key ring? 3

45. How many years at your current job? Just over 7

46. Favorite day of the week? Friday

47. Do you make friends easily? Yeah

48. How many people will you send this to? The Interwebs

49. Favorite hobby? Movies

50. Do you like finding out all this stuff about your friends? Sure, I'm nosy.

Monday, September 01, 2008


We are/were a better team, but crappy decisions and coaching will always trump that.

Happy Labor Day!

Happy Labor Day.

I'm going to the opening day of Rutgers Football today with my beloved wife.

They are playing a ranked team to start the season.

I am nervous and excited!