Monday, June 30, 2008

Three Word Movie Reviews

American Crude -- Just Plain Sucks

Be Kind Rewind -- Interesting and Different

The Bucket List -- Just Sucked Nuts

Californication (Season 1) -- Surprisingly Entertaining. Fun

Carnivale (Season Two) -- Still Lotso Goodness

Cassandra's Dream -- Surprise! Good Mystery

Doctor Who (Season Two) -- Quirky and Fun

Doctor Who (Season Three) -- Still Uniquely Charming

The Eye -- Not Too Crappy

Fool's Gold -- Oh Boy... Ummmmmm

Funny Games -- Intensely Sadistic. Interesting

Gone With The Wind -- Great Film. Classic

Grace is Gone -- So Slow. Depressing.

The Grand -- Clever, But Weak

Jumper -- CLiche... Something's Missing

Mama's Boy -- Incredibly Mediocre. Skip.

Resolved -- Resolved. Enlightening. Entertaining.

Roman Polanski: Wanted and Desired -- Strange... Morbidly Fascinating.

The Signal -- Thoroughly Unique Horror

Under the Same Moon -- Cool, Sweet, Nice

Vince Vaugh's Wild West Comedy Show -- Been There... Repetitive

The Walker -- Just Plain Annoying

Weeds (Season 3) -- I LOVE WEEEEEEEEDS!!!!

Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins -- Drivel. Go Away....

Witless Protection -- Got What Expected

Sunday, June 29, 2008

VACATION-ISH -- We Were On Vacation-ish!!!

Talk to you soon.........

I read a book or something.

Thursday, June 26, 2008

Wednesday, June 25, 2008


You don't?

Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Monday, June 23, 2008

Sunday, June 22, 2008

Saturday, June 21, 2008

Friday, June 20, 2008

Dead Bodies... All Over the Place

As I have writen earlier last week, muh wife and I drove to Virginia from New Jersey to attend a wedding...

We decided to take a slightly longer but less likely to have touristy traffic during Memorial Day weekend route through Pennsy and Maryland on 78 and 81.

The majority of the trip was on the ugly white concrete roads of Pennsylvania and I was shocked to see so many dead animals on the road -- mostly deer.

What made the bodies so icky was that they bled all over the place and it seems that the blood was a permanent stain on the concrete.

It was distracting... and way too frequent... but when we drove through Maryland or New Jersey, there were no issues since there were no dead animals anywhere...

On the way down, there were 10 piles of dead bodies...

On the way home, there were 6 ...

It's a thought and vision that could be with me for quite some time.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Book 37 of 52 -- Steve Martini's Shadow of Power

The Supreme Court is one of our most sacred — and secretive — public institutions.

But sometimes secrets can lead to cover-ups with very deadly consequences.

Terry Scarborough is a legal scholar and provocateur who craves headline-making celebrity, but with his latest book he may have gone too far.

In it he resurrects forgotten language in the U.S. Constitution — and hints at a missing letter of Thomas Jefferson's — that threatens to divide the nation.

As a political animal, I was fascinated by the political questions that he raises with the whole slavery language in the Constitution... and then he throws a pretty awesome murder mystery in to the mix.

Great book... well worth the 3 year wait.

Wednesday, June 18, 2008

It's The Small Things

Tangent Woman and I were really bummed out a few months ago when our favorite pizza joint burned down.

We celebrate Pizza Thursday every Thursday and it was a real shot at our loves and hates.

Fast forward three months, we got super excited that they were re-locating across the street, but it would be a long time until they opened up the new location.

We would drive by repeatedly looking at the paper covered windows hoping for some sign of our favorite joint re-opening.

All of a sudden... over the weekend... it was "PiZZA ONLY!!!!" and we did much rejoicing.

It was really good to have pizza the other night with the slightly tangy sauce and awesomely thick and hearty crust.

We are just so damn happy that I don't know what to say anymore :)

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

The MOLE... Love it... Even After Three Weeks!!!


Previously on the Mole... Booby hates Paul... Victoria is a chatterbox... Booby is carted around by Amazonian Kristen and Liz is executed... Oh yeah... don't forget ... Nicole said she was going to KILL Paul in his sleep... That's messed up. Seriously...

Boring JOhn Kelly tells us how to play the game over the credits... and I am reminded that it's time to take a nap.

The game's back on! Paul, Craig, and Ali are haning out a lot... Mark, Clay, and Bobby created a coalition as well. Nicole is hated by everyone... and the death threat is being overplayed by the editors...

It's time for the first challenge and John takes a bite from an apple... pretty contrived... Today's mission is about trust... and they separate the gang into two groups... one that can trust and one that can't... and they are going to go down a pretty awesome looking steel luge. Coolio!... The person in the front will be blindfolded and be directed by another person...

Oh yeah... there will be signs of fruits on the way down and the director has to remember what order they are in...The blindfolded player has to put the fruits in order at the end and earn $2000 for each correct fruit. They can win a total of $70,000.

Bobby directing Clay... They win $10,000.
Kristen directing Paul... They win $10,000
Craig directing Victoria... They win $14,000!
Mark directing Kristen... They win $14,000.
Nicole directing Alex... They win $2,000.


Bobby & Clay AND Craig & Victoria are penalized because they broke a rule and kept talking after they crossed the finish line... even though they got all SEVEN right for $14,000... so they get nothing... The final total is $26,000 instead for a grand total of $89,000.

The players are all dressed up and they are going to the spa... and everyone is dressed in bikinis and bathing suits... They swin and they get pampered with different types of massages and pampering. While they are getting pampered, their clothes are all stolen. So the next mission begins... as they are all dressed in their white bathrobes. So what's the challenge?


We are back and they are split into groups. They have to get to dinner and win $5000 for each person to get there, but since there is a dress code, they gotta convince people in Santiago to give them the clothes off their backs. I love this challenge because it reminds me of the one a few seasons ago where they had to convince people to let them do their laundry in their houses.

Clay and Mark opted out of the game. If they don't make it to dinner, they don't eat... so weird. Lots of comedy ensues and the eye candy babes walking around in boots and tiny tiny outfits... so there ya go. Enough said about that. Final total?

Paul and Alex arrive dressed right. ($10,000) Ali, Veronica, and Kristen all want to quit/not quit. They push a bit more and finally get enough clothes. They arrive and earn another $30,000. Nicole, Bobby, and Craig are still wandering around. Nicole is complete... Bobby is complete... but nothing fits Craig (he's fat) so he is the only one without any clothes. Craig goes to the laundramat and they actually find THEIR CLOTHES! Craig has something that fits... God for him. I wonder if they will be able to win... They arrive fully dressed. Bobby and Craig feel like winners. There is a total of $40,000 in the game added in... Clay and Mark stare at them from outside.

After dinner (I think after a day off since they just ate a dinner and Mark and Clay are now in the game), they will take the quiz and John Kelly keeps asking them questions pointing out Mark as an obsessive player, but don't forget that he is playing for his family. Paul and Mark get into a verbal battle. Then... Paul battles Booby... and then Craig. Nicole gets into it with him. Paul claims that it's all to fire them up and throw them off of their quizzes. Interesting.

Time for the quiz and time for the players to second guess everyone.

Before they execute someone, John offers the players $20,000 to just get up and leave the game...since there are no exemptions. No one takes him up on his he shuts it down.

Kristen is first... SAFE (damn they time that music correctly.
Mark is second... SAFE
Victoria is third... SAFE
(Three of my players survive.)

John raises it up to $30,000 for the remaining SEVEN players.

Ali QUITS and takes the money.

Hrm... lame... and the prettiest contestant is gone... John lets everyone know that she would have been safe and they continue on with the execution.

Alex is fourth... SAFE
Booby is fifth... EXECUTED


Who Will Win?

I Am The Mo

Team 360°

Tucker’s Nuts

I HEART Anderson Cooper

Who is the Mole?

I HEART Anderson Cooper

Tucker’s Nuts

Team 360°

I Am The Mo

Monday, June 16, 2008


... really does make everything better.

Hot Yankees Day

Last weekend, I was lucky enough to go to the Yankees game with muh wife and friends, but it was a frigging hot day... This rise in temperature happened in about an hour.

Eventually... the signs read 95, but up in the upper boxes, it HAD to be a lot hotter than that.

Sunday, June 15, 2008


Tucker got me a card...

What did you get?

Top 10 Things to do at the Mall

Top 10 Things to do at the Mall < murphjax > 06/07 19:39:06

10. At the bottom of an escalator, scream "MY SHOELACES! AAAGH!"
9. At the stylist, ask to have the hair on your back permed.
8. Ask a saleswoman whether a particular shade of panties matches the color of your beard.
7. Sneak up on saleswomen at the perfume counter and spray them with your own bottle of Eau de Swanke.
6. Collect stacks of paint brochures and hand them out as religious tracts.
5. At the pet store, ask if they have bulk discounts on gerbils, and whether there's much meat on them.
4. Hand a stack of pants back to the changing room attendant and scornfully announce that none of them are "leak proof".
3. Ask appliance personnel if they have any TVs that play only in Spanish.
2. Try pants on backwards at the Gap. Ask the salesperson if they make your butt look big.
1. Show people your driver's license and demand to know "whether they've seen this man."

Saturday, June 14, 2008

2 Men in an Elevator

Two men are in an elevator. One says, "Can I smell your balls?" Outraged, the second man says, "NO you may not." The first man then replies, "Well then it must be your feet."

Friday, June 13, 2008

Happy Friday the 13th

Watch some spooky movies and enjoy some ice cream on this fine day.

I think I will watch Bucket List.

Thursday, June 12, 2008

Book 36 of 52 -- Philip Margolin's Executive Privilege

Get ready to lose some sleep and I was not able to put this book down.

I believe this is Mr. Margolin's best effort to date.

The book was fast paced, great characters, and a very credible, entertaining plot.

If you like books that cover the U.S. from the West Coast to the East, politicians that you love to hate, lawyers, judges and law enforcement heroes that make you root for the home team and a little romance thrown in, then this is the book for you.

I was very sorry to read that Mr. Margolin's beloved wife passed away early last year.

I think that it is possible that this great loss has made him a more powerful, gifted writer, and I sure wish that she was able to read this book.

It is truly one of his best.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Scotty at the Hampton Inn -- A Masterpiece

My lovely bride and I were pleased to go to a wedding a few weeks ago in Virginia and we stayed the night at the Hampton Inn.

It was at this glorious Hampton Inn that we met................ Scotty.

Muh wife and I walked up to the front counter and we asked the man... Scotty ... to give us our keys so that we could check in.

Before he got too deep into checking us in... he asked us to go retrieve a sleeping guest in a chair just off the front desk so that he could check him in. I was astounded by this since it's his job to check people in and aksing us to get him was nuts...

We checked in and decided that we needed some lunch so we went back into the lobby. Scotty asked us where we were going and I announced that we were stepping out so that we could get some lunch. He asked us which direction we were going in and I told him that we planned on taking a right out of the parking lot and looking for something to eat. He said after thinking for 15 seconds or so... "Hmmmm... that's a good side." What?!?!?

He told us that a particular restaurant had "Crab cakes second only to Maryland." What? Second to an entire state? That's saying a lot about every single crab cake in Maryland.

And finally... the one that made me wonder the most... I have a preference on all of my accounts for the hotels I stay at -- no down or feather products. When we got to the room, I followed my usual course of action and called the front desk (Scotty) and asked him to please send someone up to de-feather the room. His response was amazingly awkward. "Oh yeah... I heard about that. Sorry, I will have someone up there as soon as possible to fix that." He "heard" about it. Yawn....

Thank you Scotty for making our stay at the Hampton Inn a truly memorable one.

We are well aware that this story is... "You had to be there" story, but we are STILL giggling about it.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

The Mole... Week 2

Previously... On THE MOLE... I now remember that this new host is nowhere near as awesome as Anderson Cooper.... and oh yeah... Marcie was executed.

So after some interesting confessionals -- including one by silly pants Craig -- we get into our first challenge of the show in Santiago, Chile. They are going to race to the top of a mountain where two people ride a bike to the top before the rest of them have to take a gondola... but they need to beat a pretty good Chilean soccer team. If the two people win, no money will be added to the pot, but they win an exemption. Mark and Kristen are riding the bike. Some of the others are ex-soccer players and they are playing some little kids.

Let's get to the game since the adults are pretty darn confident. The kids rock and are embarrassing the adults. The chain on the bike keeps coming off the bike and it's pretty entertaining so they start running up the hill. At some point it's 8-0 kids... then it keeps going up and up.

We get lots of interviews of how wussy everyone is... after 20 minutes, it was 14-0 andthey got a chance to score with penalty kicks... Ali comes through... so they now have to hustle to the train station to catch the gondola ride up... Some people are strong and some are weak...

Part of the way up... John distracts Kristen and Mark with a taxi if they take $5000 out of the pot. They quickly reject him and I am catching a glimpse into the possible assholedomness of Mark. It's actually a pretty close race to the end and it is vague as to who wins while John interviews the soccer team team. The bike team arrives first and $35,000 is lost and Mark and Kristen earn an exemption.

Lunch after the challenge provided lots of opportunities for people to rag and yell at each other. It is finally allowing a glimpse for the audience of each player and they are starting to differentiate themselves from the rest of the group.

Paul is a hot head... Victoria is a turdy turd... Kristen is a dopey blonde... Bobby is a sissy who can't run..

The players are shipped to Pomaire for the next challenge... and it is a peaceful countryside arena with pigs running around in it. The game is convoluted... they have to get some clay piggy banks, shoot them in the air and catch them in blankets... Get it? I still don't, but there are plenty of opportunities for screwing up the challenge. It got so bad that the big tall blonde had to push sissy Bobby in the wheelbarrow.

Alex can speak Spanish... and everyone thinks that is awesome.

The pig looking was amazing... and there were SO MANY opportunities. I did learn that Bobby likes to be yelled at and blame everyone else for his problems.

People get lost... people are "weak" and people are looking for this unknown exemption that is floating around the game. No one knows what it is, and two people are left behind while they look for pigs in town. These two were also left with a free $1000 pig... Paul... intelligently... breaks the pig against the wall to see what is jiggling around.... inside... and sure enough... it is ... an exemption.

It's now time for the giant slingshot shooting pigs into the air game. They miss a whole bunch of pigs and thus... $1000 each. Eventually Craig comes in and saves the day. They start catching pigs like crazy. Eventually, they earn $28,000 so the total pot is finally $63,000.

(They are focussing on complainy pants Mark a lot... so I feel as though he might be sent home this week... or executed.)

Three players have exemptions... so one of the last 8 players will be executed so now we get the obligatory "Let's review why anyone could possibly be The Mole." The highlight is that Bobby found Alex' journal...who claims that he did it on purpose.

Time for the determine who is EXECUTED.

My favorite part is that the Execution Ceremony is in front of a Cemetary. :)

Clay -- Safe...
(I love the dramatic music during this... )
Alex -- Safe...
Victoria -- Safe...
(Touch screens are slightly less dramatic than Anderson's typing...)
Bobby -- Safe...

Still a bit early, but we get a nice little tribute to Liz as she is gracefully removed from the game...

Nicole actually threatens Paul's life in a variety of ways... it made me slightly uncomfortable...

Who Will Win?

I Am The Mo

Team 360°

Tucker’s Nuts

I HEART Anderson Cooper

Who is the Mole?

I HEART Anderson Cooper

Tucker’s Nuts

Team 360°

I Am The Mo

Monday, June 09, 2008

Jim McKay Passed Away

I will miss him... and all the memories that he brought me.

Dover Highlights

As you know, I head to Dover twice a year and this year has started no differently.

Before the race, me and my buddy walked around the place looking at people when we came across the new statue that Dover Speedway put it up. This is a fun picture of me in front of it. That's a real race car in its hand.

So then we finally moved into the track to see the race... So take a look below... it's a cool video.

I filmed this to show you how loud it is. You can BARELY hear me yelling at the end of it. Thank goodness I have ear phones on.

When the race was over, we decided to hang around and cook some dinner since it takes forever to get out of the parking lot... Mmmm... porterhouses... rock.

Sunday, June 08, 2008

I Lost 23 Pounds Today

Go Yankees!

We are at the game today...

Go Yanks!

Saturday, June 07, 2008

Friday, June 06, 2008

Book 35 of 52 -- Jeff Lindsay's Dearly Devoted Dexter

This is a fantastic follow-up novel about everyone's favorite serial killer.

The book plunges deeper into Dexter's mind while racing about Miami in pursuit of "Dr. Danco," a shockingly cruel master of torture from Sgt. Doakes' shadowy Army days.

This novel grabbed me by the throat and wouldn't let go.

I actually enjoyed this better than the first book, which was great in its own right.

"Dearly Devoted" was more fast-paced and exciting and Dexter's humor, his narration, is priceless.

His interactions with Vince Masouka, his total bewilderment at Rita's advances, his constant internal dialogue with the reader and his Dark Passenger, are hilarious.

This is dark comedy at its best.

What I love the most about Dexter is...and he endlessly refuses to admit it...he DOES have a heart, and he DOES have emotions and feelings.

Lindsey is such a talented writer!

Thursday, June 05, 2008

Book 34 of 52 -- The Blue Religion (Police Stories Editted by Michael Connelly)

The Blue Religion is a compilation of law enforcement stories. All are brief, so this makes for good bathroom reading.

Not all of the stories in this book were good.

A few were a bit boring and poorly-written.

Then again, a few were great.

There are 19 stories, so there are by far more good stories than bad.

Some are written in a manner in which only someone in law enforcement can truly relate.

The Blue Religion would make a great gift for a law enforcement personnel or someone just graduating from the police academy.

Wednesday, June 04, 2008

Three Word Movie Reviews

2007 Academy Award Nominated Short Films -- Some Good -- Bad...

The Air I Breathe -- Quirky Not Bad

Carnivale (Season One) -- Better Than Remembered

Cleaner -- Not Good... Tedious

Diary of the Dead -- Fun... Societal Statement

Forgetting Sarah Marshall -- Fun, Silly, Long

The Great Debaters -- Cliche, but Decent

Hollywood Dreams -- Slice My Wrists

I'm Not There -- Confusing and Different

The Jerk -- So Frigging Funny

John Carpenter's The Fog -- That's a Classic

Meet The Spartans -- Meet the Shit

Mystery Men -- Still silly... Dated...

National Treasure: Book of Secrets -- Surprisingly Entertaining... Simple

Phantasm -- Finally Saw.... Fun

Private Parts -- Still Great Movie

Rambo -- Passable Saturnoonish Flick

Recount -- Suprisingly Boring Interesting...

Saw III -- Frustrating Transitional Sequel

Saw IV -- Good Enough Sequel

Standing in the Shadow of Motown -- Powerful, Enlightening Movie

Strange Wilderness -- Stupid Inane Dumb

(John Carpenter's) The Thing (1982) -- Still a Classic

What Would Jesus Buy? -- Shopping Sucks! CONVERTED!!!!!

Tuesday, June 03, 2008

The Mole is Back!!!!!!!!!!!

Before we get too deep into what is the greatest game show on television, I give you the contestants... it will show you who each of the contestants are...

Same music!!!!! New Host... Darkest and Deepest voice yet... Spoooooky.... not his voice... but his huge Adam's Apple...

12 Strangers, 10 weeks, 1 Winner... And.. One MOle... the one who is trying to prevent them from winning one million dollars.

I am so psyched... so is John Kelly... as he greets the contestants... John... asks them all to guess who they think is the Mole... Marcie is the first choice... Lame so far... (Marcie reminds us that you want people to think that you are the Mole because it makes them guess wrong on the test -- the determination if you stay or go... )

At the edge of a waterfall the contestants have their first mission... where they will navigate rafts off the edge of a waterfall. There are money bags for the contestants to jump for... some with cash... some with money ($10,000 each -- 6 total and five with paper.)... Marcie.. gets to choose who jumps for what... We don't know what she has chosen...

Alex is first and we learn that they are tethered so no great harm can fall them:
Alex fails miserably...
Ali prays to Jesus... literally... comes closer than Alex...
Clay succeeds...
Kristen has no fear and grabs the bag.
Bobby is openly gay I think... and he grabs the bag.
Liz is old.. and old... and doesn't even hve to jump and grabs the bag
Paul is not old and he... misses... ha ha ha
Victoria is a former cheerleader... and she falls on the raft and fails...
Craig is the "fat one" and he takes an awkward header... and we get a commercial... he hurts himself...
Nicole succeeds...
Mark succeeds... for a total of six bags.
Nicole(Fake), Kristen (Fake), Bobby (Fake), Mark (Money), Liz (Fake), and Clay (Money) for a total of $20,000 into the pot.

The players get journals... and that is the only place that you can write down notes during the game... these are awesome... Marcie will determine what four players will be sleeping outside... Nicole, Liz, Craig, and Bobby... while the other eight are sleeping indoors. That's the rules... better not break them.. Nicole is annoyed that she has to sleep outside and is making a commotion. She will stay inside and not "sleep."

So Nicole didn't sleep and the alliances were beginning... John Kelly tells them that they are going to the beach... for the next mission. He asks... who is the group's biggest whiner? Obviously... Nicole. Currently... I am buying that she is the Mole... she kept 8 other players up all night so they would be week the next day AND she was the unanimous choice for being a whiner so that she could control the game the next day.

(Why does the most obnoxious player have to be in full Yankees gear?)

Nicole gets to make some decisions and stuff. The game requires scavanging, appraising, and time keepers. It's a coplicated game that requires lots of running and stuff. I am not going to explain it... but it allowed for 12 people to judge each other... The whole event is a train wreck... and everyone makes themselves look guilty. They got 3 out of 5 right so at $5000 each, they got $15,000 more into the pot.

Nicole is left alone... to spend the night on the beach... Mwah ha ha ha ha... Everyone else gets a hotel room. That means lots of gossipping and crap. The 11 in the hotel get to eat a fancy dinner and talk at the table. They all admit that they have the quiz tonight and it scares them so far. (I am not crying for Mark.)

It's time for the Quiz. 10 questions about the Mole. The person who gets the worst score will be executed and then we will be treated to a video montage about the person. In the early episodes... especially the first one ... that makes me laugh since we barely know this person.

John goes over the quiz questions and the players all hem and haw about who they think is the Mole and discuss strange behavior... nice editting Mr. Editors.

They are all sitting around John Kelly now in their best garb when John starts to randomly enter their names into the computer by touching their face on the screen(Remember... he doesn't know who the Mole is.). Nicole is on the beach still and she cannot be executed because she didn't take the quiz and she loves to hear that she earned this exemption. If their name comes up in green, they are not executed. If it comes up in red... EXECUTED! Let's watch...

Nicole is safe... (exemption)
Ali is... safe...
Victoria is... safe...
Paul is... safe...
Bobby is... safe...
Mark is... safe...
Marcie is... EXECUTED... MWAH HA HA HA HA...

Everyone is sad or is that happiness to still be here... The MILF is eliminated. We are subjected to listening to everyne talk about how wonerful she was... after only knowing her for just a day and a half. Blah blah blah blah blah blah...

We fade out with Nicole laughing as she sleeps on the beach...

As with Survivor... my wife and two friends are playing a game and we drafted two games -- One for who will win and another for who is the Mole. Good times.

Who Will Win?

I Am The Mo

Team 360°

Tucker’s Nuts

I HEART Anderson Cooper

Who is the Mole?

I HEART Anderson Cooper

Tucker’s Nuts

Team 360°

I Am The Mo

Monday, June 02, 2008

Book 33 of 52 -- David Baldacci's The Whole Truth

The villain of this novel is Nicolas Creel.

He is the CEO of Ares Corp.

Ares is the largest weapons manufacturer in the world, and according to Forbes
Creel is the 14th wealthiest person in the world with a net worth of $20 billion dollars.

He needs unrest and conflict to help his profits and income.

Dick Pender is a spin master who works for Mr. Creel, who is a
specialist in "perception management.

He is using his talents to create a negative perception of Russia by creating the Red Menace.

The hero of this story is Shaw who works for an intelligence group, and his handler is Frank Wells.

An organization called the Phoenix Group is killed by a group posing as Russians.

The Phoenix Group is bank-rolled by the Chinese.

Katie James is a journalist who was a previous winner of two Pulitzers but is now ruined in journalism.

She stumbles across this story and hopes to use this opportunity to revive her career.

The world is on the brink of war between Russia and Chinaand it becomes
Shaw's job to stop it.

There is nonstop action in this fine book so be sure to read it.

Sunday, June 01, 2008

My Trip To Dover...

Last year it rained horribly...

Let's hope it's sunny at the moment.

Let's also hope that I have a beer.