Monday, December 31, 2007

The Savages Movie Going Experience

The Kite Runner, No Country For Old Men, and Margot at the Wedding were all sold out and the other films reaped the benefits.

Montgomery Cinemas was busier than I have ever seen it.

Annoyingly so...since almost everyone that goes there is old.

On the positive side -- NO COMMERCIALS!!!!

The Other Boelyn Girl
Miss Pettigrew Lives For a Day
Under the Same Moon

Happy Last Day of 2007 -- Let Me Motivate You One Last Time

Sunday, December 30, 2007

Aliens Vs Predator -- Requiem Movie Going Experience

4 Commercials

6 Previews
Jumper (looks good)
Meet the Spartans (are they serious?)
Hellboy 2 (looks better than the first)
One Missed Call (oof)
Cloverfield ( better be good)
Rambo 845

Fun Movie... it's what movie going on an afternoon should be about...

Motivational Posters Part V

Saturday, December 29, 2007

I Am Legend Movie Going Experience

20 Minutes of "Regal First Look"

2 Commercials (One of them was a really long sublimanal messge to turn off cell phones that always is on too long and makes me slightly uncomfortable)

You Don't Mess With the Zohan
10000 BC
Welcome Home Roscoe Jenkins
In the Name of the King
The Dark Knight

Good movie... and dark....

Motivational Posters Part IV

Friday, December 28, 2007


It's harder than it looks! Copy and paste into a new email/blog. Use the 1st letter of your name to answer each of the following. They have to be real places, names, things—nothing made up! Try to use different answers if the person in front of you had the same 1st initial. Don’t use your own name for the boy/girl name question.

What is your name? B (Real Name)
(just a) 4-Letter Word: Bull
Vehicle: Buick
City: Bangladesh
Boy Name: Billy
Girl Name: Beth
Alcoholic Drink: Beer
Occupation: Bouncer
Something you wear: Bra
Celebrity: Billy Baldwin
Food: Beans
Something found in a bathroom: Brush
Reason for Being Late: Blahness
Cartoon Character: Bugs Bunny
Something You Shout: BULLSHIT!
Animal: Bird
Body part: Butt
Word to describe you: Beautiful ;-)

What is your name? Smelmooo
(just a) 4-Letter Word: Shit
Vehicle: Saturn
City: Stockton
Boy Name: Steve
Girl Name: Sarah
Alcoholic Drink: Sake
Occupation: Salesman
Something you wear: Sarong
Celebrity: Sissy Spacek
Food: Spinach
Something found in a bathroom: Sink
Reason for Being Late: Sickness
Cartoon Character: Spongebob Squarepants
Something You Shout: Suck it!
Animal: Seal
Body part: Butt
Word to describe you: Sincere

Thursday, December 27, 2007

Book 62 of 52 -- David Baldacci's Stone Cold

I think I am done for the year... seriously.

I got some fun looking books for 2008 which I am saving for my two weeks out of the State of New Jersey in January.

Until then... I breezed through David Baldacci's latest -- Stone Cold.

I say I breezed through it because it was truly an awesome ride.

The relentless action in STONE COLD is sure to churn your stomach like a roller-coaster ride.

Someone online used this phrase about the book -- "It has at least as many twists and turns, and the outcome will leave you walking on shaky legs."

I concur.

David Baldacci’s latest political thriller is, indeed, a thriller as the term is used too loosely in society to describe books.

While STONE COLD is a fine stand-alone novel, readers of the Camel Club books before this one will turn the pages faster than ever --- and be left wondering where Oliver Stone and his cronies will turn up next.

Wednesday, December 26, 2007

Book 61 of 52 -- James Patterson's Double Cross


James Patterson has returned to his roots and written another installment of the Alex Cross series that made him a household name.

I’m supposed to be cool and objective, but it’s hard not to gush just a little bit about Double Cross—because it’s one of those books that makes it so very clear why millions and millions of readers love James Patterson.

For starters, there’s the thrilling, edge-of-your-seat action and the hold-your-breath suspense.

It starts on the first page—and it just doesn’t let up.

You never know what’s going to happen next—or when the killer(s) will strike next—but you won’t want to put the book down until it’s over.

Patterson fans will be thrilled by Double Cross.

The story is exhilarating and intense, and Patterson’s writing is as solid as it’s ever been.

And if you’ve never read an Alex Cross book before, a reference or two to previous books may go zinging over your head, but you’ll have no problem keeping up.

Be warned, though, that once you finish reading Double Cross, the teaser of an ending will ensure that your wait for the next Alex Cross novel will be positively agonizing.

Tuesday, December 25, 2007

Merry Christmas To All....

... even those that are just about to be demoted.

Monday, December 24, 2007

Bad Ass Tucker

Soo... last year at Christmastime, my sister brought her dog Chloe over and she and Tucker hit it off awesomely.

This is a picture from that meeting.

It was the funniest and coolest angle... as both are just such sweet animals.

Merry Christmas Eve!!!!

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Saturday, December 22, 2007

Juno Movie Going Experience

Commercials -- 4 (including the interminable 3 Doors Down music video commercial for the National Guard)

Previews -- 4 (Made of Honor, Stop-Loss, Young at Heart, Under the Same Moon)

Commercials -- 1

Motivational Posters Part II

Friday, December 21, 2007

Christmas Edition of Getting to Know Your Friends.

Welcome to the Christmas edition of getting to know your friends.

1. Wrapping paper or gift bags? Paper... and wrap everything.

2. Real or fake tree? Real

3. When do you put up the tree? Beginning of December

4. When do you take the tree down? Beginning of January

5. Do you like eggnog? No frigging way

6. Favorite gift received as a child? I really think it was a Hungry Hungry Hippos Game. Ahhh... the memories.

7. Do you have a nativity scene? We sure do... it's Waterford and was a wedding present I think....

8. Hardest person to buy for? Dad

9. Easiest person to buy for? Tangentwoman

10. Worst Christmas gift you ever received? No comment...

11. Mail or email Christmas cards? mail

12. Favorite Christmas Movie? This is a tough one... I like most... not kidding...

13. When do you start shopping for Christmas? Whenever I see something during the year. I am mostly done and wrapped about a week or two before though. God... I love wrapping.

14.Have you ever recycled a Christmas present? Not that I can remember.

15. Favorite thing to eat at Christmas? Cookies... chocolate chip ones made by my wife.

17. Favorite Christmas song? Dead Dead Dead from the South Park Christmas CD or the Swiss Colony Beef Log song from the same CD

18. Travel at Christmas or stay home? yes

19. Can you name all of Santa's reindeers? Only when I sing them.

20. Angel on the tree top or a star? A sweet and lopsided Santa.

21. Open the presents Christmas Eve or morning? Morning!!!!!!!!!!!!

22. Most annoying thing about this time of year? the extreme cold

23. What I love most about Christmas? Watching the excitement in my dog's eyes..since I swear that he knows something is special.

Thursday, December 20, 2007

Three Word Movie Reviews

Arctic Tale -- Sweet Tale... Slow

The Bourne Ultimatum -- Best Installment Yet!

First Snow -- Confusing Yet Decent

Halloween (2007) -- Violent Yet Entertaining

Halloween H2O -- Nice Return Michael!

Halloween Resurrection -- Ruined Your Return!!!

Hatchet -- Actually....Good Horror...

Interview -- Surpisingly Charming Flick

Lady Chatterley -- Long French Drivel


The Nanny Diaries -- Cute... Passed Time

The Quiet -- Shhhh... Keep Quiet

Skinwalkers -- Bored Me Senseless

Wednesday, December 19, 2007

Lamaze Tucker

MS found this and sent it to me.

It's Tucker the Turtle... a baby toy.

I like our Tucker better!

Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Happy Birfday Tucker!!!!

You are 3 today!

Tucker got the same birthday card this week from his pet insurance company that he got last year. We opened it and smiled as it is really cute. It was a small token from the company and an example of why we switched our business over to them.

Take a look!

An Early Merry Xmas From Tucker

As you all know... Tucker is one hell of an awesome and talented dog.

He now has posted a video up on the internet for you all to review.

Enjoy and click here!

Monday, December 17, 2007




Survivor 1 in Borneo -- Richard Hatch (No Game)
Survivor 2 in Australia -- Tina Wesson (Ashfault!)
Survivor 3 in Africa -- Ethan Zohn (Ashfault!)
Survivor 4 in Marquesas -- Vecepia Towery (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 5 in Thailand -- Brian Heidik (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 6 in Amazon -- Jenna Morasca (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 7 in Pearl Islands -- Sandra Diaz-Twine (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 8 ALL STARS -- Amber Brkich (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 9 in Vanuatu -- Chris Daugherty (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 10 in Palau -- Tom Westman (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 11 in Guatemala -- Danni Boatwright (Ashfault!)
Survivor 12 in Panama (Exile Island) -- Aras Baskauskas (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 13 in the Cook Islands -- Yul Kwon (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 14 in Fiji -- Earl Cole (Pork Chop Express)
Survivor 15 in China -- Todd Herzog (Pork Chop Express)

Overall Totals

Pork Chop Express -- 11
Assshfault! -- 3

Tucker's Nuts -- 2

Survivor China Finale and Results

Quick reminder.... ummm... wow.. that was a super long recap of the show's events. I think it went on for about 20 minutes.

I am somewhat torn at the moment... UNC is kicking my beloved Rutgers' asses at the RAC. Oh well... like I didn't expect that.

I am also really distracted because I won the semi's in the fantasy football league and I have two players that might have nothing to play for next week. That's frustrating... extremely frustrating...

We are watching the first reward challenge... Courtney is ridiculously thin and small. How did she pass the physical at the beginning of the year? Seriously... that's a tiny chickie...

Amanda wins reward... and they continue to blur out her ass...

My wife is funny... Amanda was posed with a pretty tough choice after she won the reward challenge... she hemmed and hawed and finally made the "hardest decision that" she "ever had to make." Muh wife goes... "I don't know what I would do..." and sighed. I was about to say something sweet when she filled in the space with "I wouldn't have won anyway.... " It made me giggle.

They just did a five minute piece on how much everyone thinks that Todd is a slimy little sucker... I have been saying it all season... but Amanda is winning this thing...

I am currently at the point where if Amanda wins this thing, I am going to be pissed with CBS for making her virtually invisible for the first few weeks and letting us see how awesome Todd was as a character and how absolutely boring that Amanda was...

This is our least favorite part of the finale each year... we call it "The March of the Dead Survivors." Often times... someone says something really dumb and awkward about people that they never met... We also get some stupid quote from the voted out people which is usually something nice and sweet.

Sooo... the final immunity challenge was won by Amanda... if my math is correct... she won the final three challenges... not bad. She is going to win the whole thing...

1/2 way through!!!!!!!!

Sooo... Denise is playing an interesting card right now as she thinks that she will have a crappy life when she goes back home and uses some interesting words to sway Amanda... I think it's a neat and legitimate way to try...

This led to a long internal debate by Amanda about not knowing who she was going to choose. It pretty much exemplified how I have felt about her from the beginning. She is boring and annoying to me because she represents the pretty girl who is handed everything. Blech.

In a pretty good tribal council, Denise is voted out.... No surprise there...

Soo... the final three are openly gay Mormon, Courtney...a self admitted "biggest bitch in the world", and Amanda ... the most boring person to ever play Survivor. (Amanda fun fact... not only was she Miss Montana 2005, but she was also Miss EARTH 2006.)

That's embarrassing... the final three was given some food to make and they made pancakes, which looked far better than the ones I made in Maine for vacation... oof...

Opening statements.... ummm... whatever...

James asks his questions first and it was nothing since he wasn't going to attack anyone.

Jean-Robert was up next. He was actually pretty funny and right about his thought process. Todd's answer to JR was the best Survivor answer I have ever heard. My mouth dropped it was so good and the rest of the jury thought it was great too... openly.

Peigh-Gee is next and it almost seems fitting that she walked up to the front before she asked the question. (Note... Amanda might win in the long run, but I am amazed that I think that Todd is going to win at this point based solely upon answers to questions...)

Erik is up next... Just as I expected... he mumbled through the question... Amanda stumbled, but it was a real answer so it will probably win it for her. Erik came back with a great snide comment...

Frosti is up next... Yawn... (Rutgers is up by 18.)

Jamie is up last and DAMMIT CBS! WHERE THE HELL ARE THE SUBTITLES FOR HER?!?!?!?! Jamie sucks. She really sucks... if Erik is watching this... I hope he runs like hell from the possible relationship that might develop from this...

Denise is the last one to ask a question... MULLET!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Heh heh... I had to do that one last time. She didn't ask a question and spoke nasty words about them all. Very interesting.

Overall... this was not as angry and vicious of a Tribal Council as it could have been or has been in the past.

Final statements... didn't happen... weird... Votes are being cast.

Revealed votes include:

Jamie -- Todd
Peigh-Gee -- Not Revealed
Erik -- Amanda
James -- Not Revealed
Denise -- Courtney
Frosti -- Not Revealed
Jean Robert -- Not Revealed

Nice! A three way tie going into the final showdown... in all the seasons where they did a three person final... there hasn't been one where all three of them got a vote.

WE ARE LIIIIVVEE!!!! (I channelled Tom Bergeron...) and BANGS are the new Survivor style... I want Todd to win simply because of the annoying bangs on Courtney and Amanda -- 39 days worth of game play... be damned.


Courtney -- 1
Amanda -- 1
Todd -- 1
Courtney -- 2
Todd -- 2
Todd -- 3

AMANDA IS OUT OF IT!!!! Suck it Asssshfault....

Final Vote? -- TODD!!!!

PHEW!!!! (More proof to me that the Mormons are taking over the world.)

Congrats Survivor Todd...

Here's the final results... and... remember... the parenthesis indicate when they were picked in the draft.


Tucker's Nuts

2. Todd (4) -- FINISHED FIRST!!!!!!!
1. Courtney (1) -- FINISHED SECOND!!!!!!!!!
3. Denise (5)-- FINISHED FOURTH
4. Peigh-Gee (8) -- Booted Week 12
6. Erik (12) -- Booted Week 11
5. James (9) -- Booted Week 10
7. Dave (13) -- Booted Week 4
8. Leslie (16) -- Booted Week 3

1. Amanda (2) -- FINISHED THIRD ??!?!?!? HEH?
6. Frostie (11) -- BOOTED WEEK NINE!!!!
3. Jean-Robert (6) -- BOOTED WEEK EIGHT!!!!
7. Jamie (14) -- BOOTED WEEK SEVEN!!!!
8. Sherea (15) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!
5. Aaron (10) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!!
2. Ashley (3) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
4. Steve (Chicken) (7) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!



3. Todd (5) -- FINISHED FIRST!!!!
1. Courtney (1) -- FINISHED SECOND!!!!
2. Amanda (4) -- FINISHED THIRD!!!!
4. Denise (8) -- FINISHED FOURTH
5. Peigh-Gee (9) -- Booted Week Twelve
6. Frostie (12) -- Booted Week Nine
7. Jean-Robert (13) -- Booted Week Eight
8. Sherea (16) -- Booted Week Six

1. Erik (2) -- BOOTED WEEK ELEVEN!!!! -- FBT LOSES....
2. James (3) -- BOOTED WEEK TEN!!!!
3. Jamie (6) -- BOOTED WEEK SEVEN!!!!
6. Aaron (11) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!!
5. Dave (10) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
8. Leslie (15) -- BOOTED WEEK THREE!!!!
4. Ashley (7) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
7. Steve (14) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!

Sunday, December 16, 2007

Motivational Posters -- Part I

I recently got an email with a whole bunch of these goofy motivational posters.

I will be posting a bunch of them over the next few weeks.

Love em and I don't want you to burn out on them all at once.

Saturday, December 15, 2007

Fantasy Football Playoffs

This weekend, my team -- Tucker's Nuts -- will be taking on the dreaded BSers in a first round matchup.

No one in the league likes him ... even me... (just in the fantasy world)... and I am going to attempt to kick his Tom Brady loving ass.

Good luck to me....

Did I mention that I am playing to repeat as champion this year?

Well... I am...

Friday, December 14, 2007

The Day That Cost Nothing... Sort Of...

Sometimes... a day sneaks up on me and is simply amazing.

Muh wife and I planned to take two of our nephews to the Liberty Science Center for a day of fun and exploration -- and because my work had something to do with one of the really cool new exhibits.

We got there and went to purchase tickets to enter the exhibits.

Luckily for us, my contact through work set us up nicely and we didn't have to pay a dime to enter the place.

That was a nice little perk!

We took the boys home after buying some Dipping Dots for them and we headed back to New York City for the birthday party of a co-worker of Tangentwoman.

We were about 90 minutes early so we decided to try our hand at finding street parking.

Luckily... 10 minutes later... we found ourselves a sweet ass free spot a block away from the restaurant!

That's a cool $40 not spent!

We killed some time at a local watering hole and then hopped over to the restaurant where we joined the other 12 or so people for the intimate din din.


As the dinner was winding down, we all started to look for the bill but we were "dismayed" that our host had picked up the bill.

Here was what I learned that day -- Koreans pay for their own birthdays.

That was the explanation plain and simple; it's probably a lot more involved than that, but who am I to argue with culture?

So... yeah... sticklers... I paid for some tolls and for a round of drinks for just the two of us after dinner, but seriously... when a day where you think you are going to spend a bunch of money turns into no money spent?

That's pretty cool.

Thursday, December 13, 2007

Survivor China -- Voted Out Week 12

Just as we guessed at the beginning of the episode...

Peigh-Gee who looked far older than her 29 years of age... was booted out.

Survivor China -- Week 12... The LAST Thursday Episode Left

Previously... or... a recap.... They remind us of how frigging stupid James was for not playing any of his immunity idols. Todd thinks he is a genius and Courtney is still losing weight even though she is down to a scrawny 2.2 pounds. If I were to cut off her head, she would lost no more weight.

Tonight... on... SURVIIIIIIIIIIVOR... (I am trying to channel TOm Bergeron into my other super duper reality show host... Jeff Probst. The Probsternator is awesome... and I really do take him for granted.)

They got into the reward challenge pretty much right away... oh crap... It's a loved ones challenge which means that the Tangentwoman will be crying. She always does.

Erik's mom -- Exactly as I would expect
Amanda's sister -- Ick
Peigh Gee's Dad -- Cute and sweet
Todd's sister -- Super hot...for this... but she delivered bad news that Todd's other sister had a misscarriage. Even Jeff seems to doubt it a bit -- Johny Fiarplay anyone?
Courtney's Dad -- Definitely her dad
Denise's Husband -- Wow... they are a cute couple.

I was right... Tangentwoman is crying nine minutes into the episode.

Denise and Robert win so I am hoping that we get to see some hot love between the two of them. Actually... no... I don't.

The phone call between Denise and her daughter was so sweet...

Soooo.... there is some doubt about Todd's sister's miscarriage. The scene with Courtney acting out the Todd/Sister miscarriage scene was hilarious and makes me wish that they only had cameras on Courtney since she was amusing.

Soooo... for the past few weeks, they blur out Amanda's ass out... it is covered... and yet... they put a big huge blur spot over it. Sooo... when her sister jumped into the lake... HER ASS WAS BLURRED OUT TOO! What the hell? Do they have an agreement or something?

The immunity challenge involved walking through a murky swamp over and over again ... and boy... everyone was exhausted when it was over. Tiny little Peigh Gee won...

It became obvious that Erik was going to be booted next, but Mark Burnett played it up a whole lot to make it seem like Todd was going to be booted out.

Denise has to make a decision... and she chooses....... Erik.... so bye bye Erik... it was nice knowing you...

For my pick tonight I hear you asking?... I am not sure if there will be one... since the finals will have three finalists and five are left. I bet they tease us until Sunday's episode and finale.

Here's the picks... and... remember... the parenthesis indicate when they were picked in the draft.


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Todd (4)
3. Denise (5)
4. Peigh-Gee (8)
6. Erik (12) -- Booted Week 11
5. James (9) -- Booted Week 10
7. Dave (13) -- Booted Week 4
8. Leslie (16) -- Booted Week 3

1. Amanda (2)
6. Frostie (11) -- BOOTED WEEK NINE!!!!
3. Jean-Robert (6) -- BOOTED WEEK EIGHT!!!!
7. Jamie (14) -- BOOTED WEEK SEVEN!!!!
8. Sherea (15) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!
5. Aaron (10) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!!
2. Ashley (3) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
4. Steve (Chicken) (7) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!



1. Courtney (1)
2. Amanda (4)
3. Todd (5)
4. Denise (8)
5. Peigh-Gee (9)
6. Frostie (12) -- Booted Week Nine
7. Jean-Robert (13) -- Booted Week Eight
8. Sherea (16) -- Booted Week Six

1. Erik (2) -- BOOTED WEEK ELEVEN!!!! -- FBT LOSES....
2. James (3) -- BOOTED WEEK TEN!!!!
3. Jamie (6) -- BOOTED WEEK SEVEN!!!!
6. Aaron (11) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!!
5. Dave (10) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
8. Leslie (15) -- BOOTED WEEK THREE!!!!
4. Ashley (7) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
7. Steve (14) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Coring a Pineapple -- The Tangentwoman's Passion

Muh wife was recently given the most basic of tools... a pineapple corer.

I thought it would be fun to post a pair of pictures of her recently cored pineapple.

Oh... if I was the type of person to post pictures of our faces, I would...

It would be the happiest face in the world.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Book 60 of 52 -- Michael Connelly's The Last Coyote

"The Last Coyote" by Michael Connelly is a very involved detective mystery that Harry Bosch decides to solve.

Bosch receives involuntary stress leave (ISL) after pushing his commanding officer through a window.

With time on his side, Bosch takes on a voluntary cold case of the murder of his mom that was 31 years ago.

Having to see a shrink, the true Bosch comes to light, a very angry man -- the psychologist brings to surface much dirty laundry that Bosch must face.

He must contend with internal investigation, political power and ruthless killers that want everything kept quite.

Also Bosch lost his lover and his house is condemned from earthquake damage.

In the search for the answer Bosch travels to Florida and meets a lady that left a spark in his heart.

Connelly writes an in depth story of a detective who overcomes these problems by moving forward in life.

Very good story that keeps the reader going to the end.

Monday, December 10, 2007

Book 59 of 52 -- Michael Connelly's The Concrete Blonde

As you will see, the trip to Miami meant that I had a lot of time on the plane and airport for reading.

This, the third book in Michael Connelly's Harry Bosch series, is without a doubt an exceptional telling of a murder myster.

Michael Connelly has created a character in Harry Bosch that I would want to spend time with but hanging out with FBT.

This old friend is a Vietnam vet still traumatized by going through enemy tunnels while on duty as a tunnel rat in "Nam" -- now he's an LAPD homicide detective so he's still being traumatized on a daily basis.

This thriller finds Harry not only on the streets solving crimes but also in the courtroom defending himself in a civil suit brought by the widow of a serial killer known as "The Dollmaker" -- a bad man that he shot in the line of duty before the Harry Bosch novels began.

If you're into the mystery/thriller genre and want to sink your teeth into a series with a great protagonist and even greater writing and storylines, try Connelly's series featuring Harry "Hieronymus" Bosch.

To find out what really makes Harry tick and to find out where he got the ridiculous name of Hieronymus, you should read the books in order starting with the first one,

Combining this book and my recent decision to watch some old episodes of Tour of Duty have made me a happy happy happy camper.

Sunday, December 09, 2007

Saturday, December 08, 2007


They are doing it at 8:45 in the morning... and it is loud and frustrating... oh well.. time to crank up Christmas music.

Funny Signs

Sign on a Plumbing Truck:

" A straight Flush always beats a full house.
Sign over a Gynecologist's Office:
"Dr. Jones, at your cervix."
In a Podiatrist's office:
"Time wounds all heels."


On a Septic Tank Truck in Oregon:
"Yesterday's Meals on Wheels"


At a Proctologist's door:
"To expedite your visit please back in."


On a Plumber's truck:
"Don't sleep with a drip. Call your plumber."


At a Tire Shop in Milwaukee:
"Invite us to your next blowout."


At a Towing company:
"We don't charge an arm and a leg. We want tows."


On an Electrician's truck:
"Let us remove your shorts."


On a Maternity Room door:
"Push. Push. Push."


At an Optometrist's Office
"If you don't see what you're looking for, you've come to the right place."


On a Taxidermist's window:
"We really know our stuff."


At a Car Dealership:
"The best way to get back on your feet -- miss a car payment."


Outside a Muffler Shop:
"No appointment necessary. We hear you coming."


In a Veterinarian's waiting room:
"Be back in 5 minutes. Sit! Stay!"


At the Electric Company:
"We would be delighted if you send in your payment.
However, if you don't, you will be."


In a Restaurant window:
"Don't stand there and be hungry, Come on in and get fed up."


In the front yard of a Funeral Home:
"Drive carefully. We'll wait."
At a Propane Filling Station,
"Thank heaven for little grills."


And don't forget the sign at a Chicago Radiator Shop:
"Best place in town to take a leak."

Friday, December 07, 2007

Survivor China -- Week 11 Boot

I didn't even realize that he was still in the game!

Guess what this means?

I bet FBT. He owes me a case of beer that I am probably just going to turn over to ASSSHHHHFFFAAAUUUULLLLTTTT

Thursday, December 06, 2007

Survivor China Week 11 -- Can You Believe It?

What a decent episode and I am not going to write much about it because TW and I watched it from our hotel room in Miami on the internet and I didn't and couldn't want to type on the same computer as was playing it.

I will say that we both concur that James -- the bootee -- was blindsided in the vote and was extremely gracious about the booting.

He should have played the immunity idol though... that would have been smart.

We also saw just how much Amanda controls this game... I knew it... I just had that feeling and I was so right after this episode. Todd is fun to watch (Against TW's claims) and Amanda is somewhat vanilla... so now... we get to see her coniving side and it is fun.

For this week, I am going to go with an extremely safe guess and pick that Erik is going. They have to get him out of there because he is just too darn nice.

In terms of the games... FBT really has no chance of winning because I just can't see Erik winning so don't be surprised if he is out of the game completely tomorrow.

I still think that Amanda is good for Assshfault and that he might actually win with her... this week proved it... but she is a bit more coniving than we all thought.

Here's the picks... and... remember... the parenthesis indicate when they were picked in the draft.


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Todd (4)
3. Denise (5)
4. Peigh-Gee (8)
6. Erik (12)
5. James (9) -- Booted Week 10
7. Dave (13) -- Booted Week 4
8. Leslie (16) -- Booted Week 3

1. Amanda (2)
6. Frostie (11) -- BOOTED WEEK NINE!!!!
3. Jean-Robert (6) -- BOOTED WEEK EIGHT!!!!
7. Jamie (14) -- BOOTED WEEK SEVEN!!!!
8. Sherea (15) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!
5. Aaron (10) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!!
2. Ashley (3) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
4. Steve (Chicken) (7) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Amanda (4)
3. Todd (5)
4. Denise (8)
5. Peigh-Gee (9)
6. Frostie (12) -- Booted Week Nine
7. Jean-Robert (13) -- Booted Week Eight
8. Sherea (16) -- Booted Week Six

1. Erik (2)
2. James (3) -- BOOTED WEEK TEN!!!!
3. Jamie (6) -- BOOTED WEEK SEVEN!!!!
6. Aaron (11) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!!
5. Dave (10) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
8. Leslie (15) -- BOOTED WEEK THREE!!!!
4. Ashley (7) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
7. Steve (14) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!

Wednesday, December 05, 2007

Death Pool is Back!!!!

Ladies and Gentlemen,

The 2008 Death Pool is here.


It's time!!! It's time for the 2008 Death Pool!!!

That's right... you pick celebrities and if you get the most amount of points by the end of the year... you win... This year's first prize is worth almost 600 beans but we would love to see many more people participate thus ensuring a much higher first prize. I have posted the rules below for your benefit. Feel free to enter... as many times as you want... each entry will cost ya 20 beans. ANYONE CAN ENTER! Even if I don't know you... you just need to be very clear about your contact information!

This year... the Rules have changed so please be sure to read them thoroughly!

(Yes... I know it's bad charma... but 2007 was a good year for me... and I have won this in the past.)

Good Luck!

Brian & Chris

Read these carefully as we have changed the rules a bit to make it fairer and fun again… and prevent the picking of the absurd.



Welcome to the official 2008 Celebrity Death Pool game! For those of you that are new to the concept, it is our time to take back from the celebrities and famous people out there that do nothing but take our money, sweat and tears as we buy their music, watch their games, read about them in the paper, or purchase their movie tickets. The object of the game is simple – Be the contestant at 12:00 Midnight Eastern Standard Time (EST) on December 31, 2008 to have accumulated the most amount of points. How easy is that?

Selection of Celebrities – Think long and hard about the current health or possible health of our society’s famous folks. Choose the 20 of these famous people that you think will die in the year 2007 and write their names in a list. They can be from any forum. They can be athletes, entertainers, heads of state, writers or just folks who have garnered large scale media attention. They can be from any continent. The main criterion is that someone else can be identified by name and his or her death will be reported in a published account.

IMPORTANT CHANGE – The operators of the pool will review your list and objectively accept or reject the players on your list. We are attempting to limit obscure people. Our judgments are based on results from Internet search engines and this definition of celebrity: A celebrity is a widely recognized or famous person who has commanded a high degree of public and media attention. If we reject a person on your list, you will have the opportunity to replace that person with a new choice.

Example of What We Accept and Not Accept – If they are foreign born and involved in politics, they have to be a head of state. So… Saddam Hussein would count, but you cannot pick any of his cabinet officials anymore.

This system isn’t perfect, but it is the fairest way to make sure that everyone is playing on the same level.

Entry Fee – The Entry Fee is nominal. (20 "beans" per entry. You can enter as many times as you want. It is just going to cost you 20 beans per entry.) If you are a past player, we will give you a 10% break from the fee.

Point Structure – The Point Structure is simple, and it remains the most exciting way of scoring the game. Points are determined by beginning with a 100 base point system. The age of the deceased celebrity will be deducted from the base score of 100 and a final number will be achieved. For example, if Britney Spears were to die on January 6, 2008, she would be worth 73 points. 100 base points MINUS 27 years old = 73 points.

Prize Breakdown – The most important part of this game is the prize! The total prize will be determined by how many people enter and dollar values will be determined from the following percentages: First Place will receive 80% of the final money pool and Second Place will receive 20% of the final money pool. 

10% will be subtracted from the final pool total for operating expenses.

Tie Breakers – In case of a tie, there will be a tiebreaker -- whoever has chosen the most amounts of deceased celebrities. If two players tie for first with the same players, they will split the entire pot. If two players still tie for second, they will split the second place pot.

Website - The league will have a website that will be updated on a periodical basis. It will contain team choices and as many updates as we can of those that have deceased. The web address is: Feel free to visit the website now to see how the current year is going.

Time Frame - The official length of the contest will run from Tuesday, January 1, 2008 between 00:00:01 EST (12:00 AM plus one second on January 1, 2008) and 23:59:59 EST Wednesday, December 31, 2008 (11:59 PM plus 59 seconds). All submissions must be received or postmarked by Monday, December 31, 2007 at 23:59:59 EST. They must be sent to my normal hotmail address, my gmail account, or mailed to me at my home. Feel free to email me for that information.

The important fact is that we need the money by January 15, 2008 or your submission doesn't count. Payments can be cash, check or paypal.

Good Luck!

Book 58 of 52 -- Stuart Woods' Shoot Him if He Runs

Stone Barrington and Holly Barker team up once again in Woods' newest offering, this time to hunt ex-CIA-agent-turned-assassin Teddy Fay at the behest of the director of the CIA, Kate Rule Lee, who also happens to be the wife of President William Lee.

Woods has combined a whole bunch of his characters in his various series into one novel and it's distracting.

Stone and Holly, along with Dino Bacchetti, are dispatched to luxurious St. Marks island, where they spend as much time frolicking in the ocean as they do tracking Teddy.

Stone and Holly manage to strike up an acquaintance with Irene Foster, a former CIA employee who was reputed to have had a relationship with Teddy, and her current lover, Harry Pitts.

But Stone and Holly soon find themselves caught up in the corrupt local politics, which stand in stark contrast to the balmy paradise the island appears to be.

After the chief of police on the island is gunned down, Stone and Holly realize Teddy might be back in business, and the hunt to find him becomes even more urgent. Perennial favorite Woods certainly knows how to keep the pages turning.

At 300 pages, it made me yearn for a warm climate... and look forward to my trip to St. Thomas in just over a month from now.

Tuesday, December 04, 2007

Book 57 of 52 -- Alice Sebold's The Almost Moon

Sebold's first novel, The Lovely Bones , kills off its heroine, 14-year-old Susie Salmon, before you've even turned the first page.

Yet it was a smash hit, full of haunting compassion and longing, as Susie, watching from heaven, sees her family and friends discover healing after grief.

I loved it.

But Sebold also filled the story with real warmth.

That sympathetic tone is starkly absent in Sebold's second fictional outing, The Almost Moon, set in small-town Pennsylvania.

This time the murder comes even quicker–in the opening line–and the subject matter, matricide, is again challenging.

The novel whizzes through the killing's 24-hour aftermath, skipping back and forth through Helen's memories of her troublesome childhood, her father's suicide, her own failed marriage, and her struggle to raise two daughters.

This pace, and Helen's chilling narrative tone, mean little humanity seeps through.

The Almost Moon 's bleakness and hopelessness make it unlikely to be held in the same affection as its predecessor.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Three Word Movie Reviews

Amazing Grace -- Good Biopic Film

American Gangster -- Good, Not Amazing...

Angel A -- Different and Great

Before the Devil Knows You're Dead -- WOW! Powerful Movie

Broken -- Really Deep Film

Clerks -- Fun Memory Lane

The Deal -- QUEEN Was Better

The Departed -- Just as Awesome!

Hairspray -- Very Fun Adaptation

Hot Rod -- Oof That's Silly

I Know Who Killed Me -- Kill ME... PLEASE!!!!!!!!!

Mr. Bean's Holiday -- Actually... Cute... Fun

Mr. Warmth: The Don Rickle's Project -- Intriguing... Funny... Irreverent

No Country For Old Men -- Brilliant, Wonderful Film

Ocean's Thirteen -- Suitable Third Piece

Over There (Entire Series) -- Why Cancelled? Huh?

Paris, Je T'aime -- Eh... Not T'aime-y

Pigs -- Exactly As Expected

PU-239 -- Passable Sunday Fare

Puppets Who Kill (Season 1) -- I Laughed Lots

Ratatouille -- Really Fun Cartoon

Rescue Dawn -- Bale Was EXCEPTIONAL

The Santa Clause 3: The Escape Clause -- Escape From It

Shrek the Third -- Didn't Bore Me

Slings & Arrows (Season 3) -- I LOVE IT!!!!

Vie en Rose -- Long French Biopic

Vitus -- Vitus is Vunderbar

Who's Your Caddy? -- Train Wreck Filmwatching....

Sunday, December 02, 2007

Saturday, December 01, 2007

Survivor China -- 10th Week Boot

Bye Bye James....

Still Away... You Miss Me?

I bet Tucker does.

It's supposed to snow tomorrow when we land.

Uh oh.

Friday, November 30, 2007

FBT's Birthday!!!!


30 is a great age.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Turning a Work Trip Into Something Longer

I am going to Miami... and I am psyched since it is my first time.

I'll see you Sunday or Monday....

10 Weeks Over? Survivor Continues After a Week That Saw... A Frigging Recap

It's been two whole weeks since the last new episode so some of this might seem really really stale to you.

Or... You don't give a shit and you don't read it anyway.

(Reminders... 1. Seven people are left. 2. Courtney is down to 2.25 pounds. Good for her. She was looking kind of fat. 3. James is still the most difficult person to understand. 4. Amanda is going to win.)

At the beginning of this episode, Courtney is revelling in the fact that Jean Robert is gone. In doing so, they had to screw over Denise who wasn't part of the decision making she moped around a whole bunch. The two hardest people to understand James and Denise had a conversation and they didn't run any subtitles... bastards at CBS.

TW keeps saying... "I hate Todd. I hate Todd. I hope that he gets voted out." This amazes me since I love Todd. I love any person that shows interest in the actual strategy of the game. He gives a crap and thinks... perhaps a bit too much, but I appreciate it a lot.

Now... we are in the episode at the point where PEigh Gee and James are arguing after the bouncing ball challenge and now... TW has totally turned on James... he is a bit of a jerk now... so I understand her point of view. I wil remind her of how much she loved him in the beginning of the season.

Sooooo... Frosti and Courtney are smoochie faces... I TOTALLY did not see that coming at all. Courtney was one of the people that won the eating reward. She might have gained a couple pounds eating that fried chicken and mashed know... the traditional Chinese meal.

Sooo... have any of you seen that awesome Quizno's commercial where the beautiful model tells the homely woman that she hates her...and the homely woman... excitedly goes... "Really?" I love that commercial.

Sooo... I think it should be a compliment to Frostie that he was voted out because they viewed him as a threat since everyone liked him.... take it for what it's worth.

Sooo... I am going to pick James tonight simply because my gorgeous wife can't stand him anymore.

Here's the picks... and... remember... the parenthesis indicate when they were picked in the draft.


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Todd (4)
3. Denise (5)
4. Peigh-Gee (8)
5. James (9)
6. Erik (12)
7. Dave (13) -- Booted Week 4
8. Leslie (16) -- Booted Week 3

1. Amanda (2)
6. Frostie (11) -- BOOTED WEEK NINE!!!!
3. Jean-Robert (6) -- BOOTED WEEK EIGHT!!!!
7. Jamie (14) -- BOOTED WEEK SEVEN!!!!
8. Sherea (15) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!
5. Aaron (10) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!!
2. Ashley (3) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
4. Steve (Chicken) (7) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Amanda (4)
3. Todd (5)
4. Denise (8)
5. Peigh-Gee (9)
6. Frostie (12) -- Booted Week Nine
7. Jean-Robert (13) -- Booted Week Eight
8. Sherea (16) -- Booted Week Six

1. Erik (2)
2. James (3)
3. Jamie (6) -- BOOTED WEEK SEVEN!!!!
6. Aaron (11) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!!
5. Dave (10) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
8. Leslie (15) -- BOOTED WEEK THREE!!!!
4. Ashley (7) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
7. Steve (14) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Dancing With the Stars -- A Champion Wins and is Crowned

Ok... I love this show... but two hours? You have to be kidding me...

Let's recap... Marie finished in last place and will have the full force of the Mormons behind her.


We get our first look at the contestants across stage and only Helio doesn't look nervous... OOOH!! THey are going to tell us who is in third and make the last two compete for more judges points to win this thing. That's neat.

Celine Dion sings for the first time and we fast forward to the announcement of who finished third and got booted. (Both TW and I are super rooting against Marie... but we both think they will make it through....)

YESSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are so happy to be wrong.

So.... what do we do for the next 1 hour and 40 minutes? I bet there is a lot of flashbacks and stuff.

Oh... each dancer is dancing a last dance... Ick.. Sabrina... I forgot how much I don't miss her.

Hey... it's Samantha's birthday... :) we are the same age... *Swoon*

The two finalist come out to cheesy announcing and music and it is now that we love DWTS most because they are so tongue in cheek with themselves.

The dancers are doing one more dance that the judges will score and it will count as part of the judges' scores. This is neat and the dancers get to choose.

Mel B and Maksim Shrismdfasdfaovsky are up first... they chose to do a Mambo that they didn't get a perfect score on the first time. Interesting and balsy choice. As always... it was really good even though Mel B doesn't belong int his competition because she is a performer... a Spice Girl... The judges' scores.... Carrie Ann... 10 ... Len ... 10 ... Bruno...10 -- That's 30 and she gets an 85 out of 90.

Helio can only get an 84 if they get a perfect score... sooo... they have to be more popular in the voting than them..since the people's vote count for 1/2 the score and serves as the tie-breaker.

Helio Castroneves and Julianne Hough are up last. I like them. I hope he wins... I really do. The judges' scores.... Carrie Ann... 10 ... Len ... 10 ... Bruno... 10 That's 30 and he gets an 84 out of 90.

The fate is in the hands of the people... Please people... be good....

And.... they keep drawing it out with more montages... I might love this show, but dammit... I hate useless drivel.

Sooo... the winner???!?!?

HELIO & JULIANNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (My reward for second place Mel is not ruin a picture of her.)

Tuesday, November 27, 2007


Sooo... I am so sad... this will be my last night of watching dancing by C Level celebrities...

Yes... I must admit... I am voting on every possible phone I have for anything but Marie.... and I mean... anything...


Soooo... we are watching the opening credits and my comment is... Soo... ummm is "Who is Albert Reed?" Hee hee... I am funny.

In a ballroom dancing competition... should the words "No Holds Barred" ever be used?

Mel B and Maksim Stupid Face are up first... so... Mel B invited male Spice Girls to infuse style into a professional dancer's world. Stupid... I hope she falls down. She is exposing so much skin and that means that I have to look at her stupid tattoos and her huge ass and her stupid accent. She just looks British. The beginning of the dance was a bit gimmicky and I am not sure that Len is going to like it. They are dancing to "Car Wash." We went to Joe's Crab Shack this weekend and the dancers broke out in dance to the song. Dammit... Mel B danced better than the waiters... heh heh... Let's look at the scores! 28... THank you judges for being real-ish.

Marie Osmond and Jonathan Roberts are up next and she is wrestling with Jonathan and now spying on Julianne. Marie is getting hotter... and that is annoying me to pieces. So... she got one final reference to the passing out in... and muh wife asks... what are the odds that she passes out again? I say... 50-1. The dance looks awkward and even though she is getting cutre... she can't act that way... Let's see what the judges say.. WOOOO HOOOOO!!!! only a 24. Eat that Marie!!!

Helio Castroneves and super cute Julianne Hough are up next. They too are wrestling. That was the shortest video montage of all year. JUlianne is ridiculously cute and it is annoying me to pieces. I really liked the dance and I will be voting for them... the judges are totally hating the dance... OOF... That was some ROUGH critiquing and they were incredibly boo'ed. THeir score was 25... WOW... that was tough and makes me sad.

Mel B is up doing her freestyle dance... which has the possibility to be very exciting and currently... she is standing around a lot and Maksim keeps jumping over her and through her legs. This is a bad Spice Girls video. Boring and completely uninspired. Carrie Ann agreed with me...Len was sort of boring and Bruno was weird. Commercial....27 for a total of 55.

Marie is about to do her freestyle dance and I am scared as shit to watch this. How could I have known that it would be this horrific and terrible. She is doing a doll. No really... Her dancing is rigid and she doesn't have to be crisp... I am just trying to say something nice about it... really... I can't anymore. If she wins this thing... it really is the Mormons who won this for her. Bruno called it the "Loopiest thing he has ever seen and defies criticism... " He was speechless-ish. Carrie Ann could almost not say anything... People...that was the oddest choice of all time... it was horrible. Let's see what the scores were... She got an 8??!?!? her total was 22 and her total total is 46.

Helio is up last.... It is the best freestyle dance of the three... by far... even with the little itty bitty screw up in the middle. That was awesome... I can't say enough. They got a 29 for a grand total of 54.

Please America... Marie is off her frigging rocker... and do not vote for her... I will boycott America if she wins... or... I will just be really really really really really really really really really really MAD.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Cum On Feel The Quiet....

We will miss you Kevin...

At least I will...

Click Here...

Book 56 of 52 -- Michael Connelly's The Black Ice

Book 56 is the second of the Harry Bosch books by Michael Connelly.

Released in 1993, this novel features Harry Bosch as the freewheeling police detective who is at odds with his superiors and always working his own agenda.

Although this book is part of a long-running series it stands on its own quite well.

You do not need to read it any order along with the other Bosch novels Connelly has written.

As in his other novels, Connelly excels in devising a complex plot in Black Ice that unfolds gradually.

He depicts Bosch as someone who tirelessly follows leads and seeks to piece together the slightest clue, which Connelly drops into the story little by little.

At one point in this novel I thought that the author was making it too easy.

However, there is a plot twist that surprised me. The author's trick is that it was easy to read the clues as pointing to the conclusion I expected, not to where the clues actually led.

The only drawback to Black Ice is that the plot veers into almost unbelievable territory with sections involving paramilitary operations.

While the plot was interesting, it did seem a little ''over the top'' at one point and I had doubts that an LA police officer could get away with some of the antics that Bosch pulled.

Overall I enjoyed reading Black Ice a great deal, and think it was a great second novel in the series that now stretches to thirteen books.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Saturday, November 24, 2007

American Ganster Movie Going Experience

Three quick previews....

No commercials....

2.5 hours of a long ass movie....

Friday, November 23, 2007

No Country For Old Men Movie Going Experience

Commercials -- 6 (This commercial included a 3 Doors Down video for the National Guard. Holy crap, the commercials were out of control...I took a pee during them and never missed a second.)

Previews -- 6

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Birthday Dan

Wooooo hoooooo

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

I like this holiday a lot... I really do.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Birthday Post #4

Last post based upon my birthday... I swear....

I am going to relate one of the greatest small world stories of my life and I hope that it translates well onto this medium.

I went to Rutgers and my Freshman year, I took Calculus class.

Like most large colleges, I was stuck in a 500+ person class with Freshmen galore.

I didn't know anyone in class and I sat down next to this random chick.

She and I struck up a conversation as class was going and we hit it off pretty well.

So much so, that we hung out at every class after that.

About three weeks into the semester, we realized that our birthdays were coming up relatively soon, so I asked, "When is your birthday?"

She replied with, "November 19th. Yours?"

I answered, "Me too! That's so cool."

We smiled...

"Don't think I am crazy, but where were you born?" I asked.

She named a hospital and I was shocked! It was the same hospital that I was born in.

Now that is a small world.

We each called our moms that night and found out that our parents shared a hospital room when we were born... a couple of minutes apart.

Now... THAT's a small world...

And pretty neat too.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Dancing With the Stars -- Narrowing it Down to 3

Sooo.... we have 4 people left at the beginning of the show and we have to narrow it down to 3.

ooooHhhhhhhh!!!! the pressure.....

Ok... soo... LIIIIVVVEEEEE...

The repeat dance of the week was Jennie and Derek... good for her... she needed that ego push... seriously... she did...

*Yawn*... AVRIL LAVIGNE is on... Fast Forward... (P.S. Avril got hot...)

Not to be too disrespectful... but Samantha's cans are GINORMOUS in that dress...

During the first interview... I firmly believe that Marie might be drunk...

Someone please tell me why Florence Henderson seems to be on every single episode...

Let's see who the first couple to be saved is.... Marie and Jonathan. (SHIT)

10 minutes since her last interview and I still think she is drunk.

Kenny Mayne is comedy gold for this show... and he is doing a mocumentary on "dancing stars in rehab." It was hilarious.

*YAWN* Michael Flatley is dancing and the crowd... NO FRIGGING JOKE... is louder for him than anything that I have ever seen. I didn't fast forward... and my YAWN turned into a ho hum with a caveat... I would probably have liked it more if the outfits weren't completely "gay-ish" Sailor boys?


This is an hour.... and I am feeling every single fast forwarded moment.

The second couple saved is Mel B and Maksim Shmirkovsky. Double SHIT.

The third couple saved is Helio Castroneves and Julianne Hough

Therefore... it's bye bye time for Jennie Garth and Derek Hough.

I am not entirely surprised and I wish her the best for her and her fourth kiddie poo.

Birthday Post #3

Yesterday... I looked into who has the same birthday as me and is famous...

It was a shot of reality....

Sooo... today... I wanted to look into what has happened or what holidays are celebrated on my birthday (yesterday.)

Gettysburg Address -- The Gettysburg Address is one of the single greatest historic events in the history of the world. That's right... in the history of the world and if you try to argue about it with me... I will take you outside and Emancipate your legs from your body.

World Toilet Day -- Imagine how incredibly excited I was to find out that World Toilet Day is November 19th every year. This is teh same household device that I break with my humungous poops (Ha ha... you have to indulge me since this is about my birthday.) There is an entire day dedicated to the one thing that can't handle me. True story... my mother had to sit me down and tell me that I wasn't allowed to use two particular toilets since I wrecked them. That is a conversation that you would think is funny... and not uncomfortable... but it is when it comes from your mother... trust me.

Equal Opportunity Day -- BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!

National Johova Day -- Hee hee... I think it's wrong that this holiday is celebrated in a cold month. They walk around in their fun outfits and go door to door but they decided on a cold day to celebrate... how backwards is that? Silly people. Did any of you know that I went to school with a Johova? She was so sweet, but a bit backwards... Her dad was going to choose her husband when she graduated from high school. I wonder what she is doing now in life...

Sooooo.... yeah... I love my birthday...

Monday, November 19, 2007

Dancing With the Stars... Week 10


It's my birthday and because I adore this show... I am soooo glad that it is on during my birthday.

I may be going to hell for saying this... but Marie Osmond is looking hot...

Tom Bergeron just called Jennie Garth a "yummy mummy."

I think I might be buzzed on birthday wine....

Marie Osmond and Jonathan Roberts are up first. Her body shape has changed so dramtatically that it is amazing. The song for the quickstep was sung by the atrociious singers of Dancing With the Stars and seemed inappropriate for the show and the dance. It was Good Morning! from Singing in the Rain... The judges said... "You bring so much joy and entertainment..." That seems like a not so great or bad thing to say.... but her dance was also called Perfect... HA!!!! Marie got two 10s and was screaming like an idiot when Bruno pulled out a 9... she kept screaming... and then pulled back... hee hee... TOTAL... 29!!!

CAKE BREAK!!!!!!!!!! Thanks to Tangentwoman for making a really awesome flourless chocolate cake with super duper raspberry sauce... yummy!!!!!!!

Up second... Mel B and Maksim Shmirkovsky... She finally pulled out the family and kids. Then... she actually brings out the Spice Girls in person to root for her on screen. They are practicing on the Dancing With the Stars stage. Does anyone else that watches the show get the feeling that she just learned the dance right before the show? They killed the song... (Freddy Mercury is rolling around in his poor dead grave.) She did some really cool splits in the middle of her dance... but need I remind all of you that she is a performer and should not be in the competition... I am officially a broken record. However... this may have been the greatest dance of the show of all time... if it weren't for the final part of the dance... Total... 30 and well deserved... (TW makes a good point that the score is unfair since her skills because of her job should not be compared to Marie's since they are so different people.)

Ok... cmon votes... can we please vote off Mel B or Marie? Thank you.

Jennie Garth is up third and Derek Hough is her partner. They reminded us that Bruno was a prick to her... yeup... a prick. (I think it was because she had Richard Simmons as a motivational speaker....) Is it legitimate that Jennie took her kids to a surpise trip to Disneyland? Isn't Disney the owner of Dancing With the Stars? Just curious... Oh my god... Jennie's music is atrociious... they CANNOT SING!!! I really hate them... the dance wasn't horrible... but the song was so horrible that we pretty much doomed it to hell from the start. Total -- 28... not the best... but she is still cute.

Helio Castroneves and Julianna Hough are up next and I am not going to root for her anymore since they brought Rascal Flatts to root them on. Oh... alright.. she's still lovely... Her roots are coming through... oh crap... what do I care? Does she have a partner? I forget. It seemed perfect to me... (It being the dance), but it wasn't their best... it's too bad her hair just looks bad... argh... I have a huge crush on her... and so does my 16 year old boy next door neighbor!!! THIRTY!!!!!!!!!!

Judge Len is giving everyone some lessons... this was not fun at all... I think I am going to look up hotels for possible RU bowl games.

Marie is up to do her second dance... and I have to admit that I liked it more than I thought... she seems a bit gorilla-y, but she has the enthusiasm that makes the Mambo that much more fun to watch. She finished the dance by landing in her brother's laps... at least they are all there so they can't vote for her at all... Total... 27... so overall total ......... 56.

Mel B and her second dance is up... It was good... but didn't seem special to me. but the judges loved it more than the first dance... so that means they ot a perfect score? Yeup... another 30. Total... 60...

Jenni Garth is up next... Jennie looks amazing in her outfit. The dance was the best one that she has done the entire competition. She smiled the entire and seemed to enjoy it. She also used her sexy body the way she should have from the beginning... sexily... Let's see what the sour puss judges think... They love her and I bet that she gets a 30... (Shiny object! Michael Flatley will be on tomorrow... ) Her score? 30! Total!!! 58!!!! Better than Marie!!!!

Helio and Julianne finish out the show. Holy crap that was good... how do I know it was good? I got really nervous at some points... that someone was going to hurt themselves... Truly amazing. Another 30 and and a perfect score of 60!!!!

Let's see... perhaps... I will root against Marie... I continue to root against them...

Birthday Post #2

During the first week of Dancing With the Stars this season, Tom Bergeron referred to Savion Glover as the "Legendary Savion Glover."

That made me smile and then upset.

Savion Glover and I were born on the exact same day (Today) in the exact same year about 15 miles apart from each... and he has already become legendary.

Wow... talk about a wake up call for me...

Savion Glover is legendary and I am legendary for... ummm... Tucker. (That's about it... )

Sooo... I got bored and I decided to look up who else I share a birthday with to see if Savion is the only other legendary person who shares a birthday with me... This is what I found.

Jodie Foster (1962) -- Freaky Friday!!!!
Dick Cavett (1936)
Ann Curry (1956) -- This was a wake up call... I had no idea that she was that old! She looks so lovely... (Good morning... Good morning on this fine morning -- That one's for you TW)
James Garfield (1831) -- President... TWICE!
Allison Janney (1959) -- Another one who is older than I thought.
Calvin Klein (1942) -- I wear his unduhpants...soemtimes... but only when he asks nicely.
Ahmad Rashad (1949) -- How dare you defile Mrs. Huxtable!?!?!??
Meg Ryan (1961) -- Blech. Simply stated... blech.
Ted Turner (1938) -- He's legendary.... in My opinoin at least...

So ... Happy birthday to me... and I am feeling legendary today... and today only...

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Birthday Week -- Post #1

Sooo... it is my birthday week... and I am excited about a few things. I have written a series of blogs centered around my birthday.

I hope you enjoy... since they are all kind of dopey.(This one being the most lame one.)

Here's my first installment.

Tangentwoman read this interesting article about Congress and it's schedule.

Bastards hate me and my birthday.

Calendar Conundrum. Democrats and Republicans seem to be having trouble agreeing on just about anything these days, including setting a tentative schedule for the rest of the year.

In the annual calendar sent out by Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) and Minority Whip Trent Lott’s (R-Miss.) offices last week, the pair apparently didn’t double-check, you know, the actual dates. So the calendar lists, in order, Nov. 18, 29 and then 20. Poor Nov. 19 was ignored entirely.

“I’m not sure where the 19th went. But since the Democrats have announced that they can accomplish just as little in a three-day workweek next year as they did with this year’s supposed five-day weeks, I’d expect a lot more days to go missing on future calendars,” joked a Republican leadership aide.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Steakbellie Tagged Me -- Bastard

I was tagged....and I have a headache the size of Steakbellie's belly after an eating competition.

I have been tagged by Steakbellie to write about certain topics in blocks of 8.

8 passions in my life
Tucker's Nuts
Rutgers Football
Oakland Raiders
New York Yankees

8 things to do before I die:
Go to Alaska
See a Rutgers football bowl game live
Go to a game in every single MLB park
See more of the whole world
Pay off our house
Buy another house in a totally cool and awesome area
Live in the extra house at least half the year
Finish my State Quarters collection

8 things I often say
Douche Bag
I don't want to do that.
What do you want for dinner?
Question (in the style of Dwight Schrute)
What do you want to watch?
I am the single greatest fantasy football player of all time.
I love you.

8 Books I read recently
Nicholas Sparks' The Choice
Michael Connelly's The Black Ice
Michael Connelly's The Black Echo
Faye Kellerman's The Burnt House
Stephen Frey's The Fourth Order
Khaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns
Gregory Maguire's Son of a Witch
James Patterson's You'be Been Warned

8 songs that mean something to me
Forever in Blue Jeans - Neil Diamond
Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond
Elevation - U2
Pinch Me -- Barenaked Ladies
Waking Up Next to You - Steve Poltz
Extraordinary - Better Than Ezra
How Do You Tell Someone You Don't Love Them - Cowboy Mouth
Happy Birthday To You

8 Qualities I look for in a friend
Sense of Humor
Attention Span

8 people who I'm passing this on to
The Paperboy

What to Wear When Your Spouse Has Chores For You