Saturday, March 31, 2007

Biker Bar

A blind man wanders into an all girls biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders some coffee. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the waiter, "Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?"

The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says, "Before you tell that joke, sir, I think it's only fair, since you are blind, that you should know five things:

1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat.
2. The bouncer is a blonde girl.
3. I'm a 6 foot tall, 175 lb. Blonde with a black belt in karate.
4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional
weightlifter.
5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler.

Now, think about it seriously, Mister. Do you still wanna tell that joke?"

The blind man thinks for a second, shakes his head, and mutters, "No...not if I'm gonna have to explain it five times."

Friday, March 30, 2007

Survivor

Anyone really paying attention to just how much ASS I am kicking in both of my games?

In the game against Asssfault, I haven't officially had anyone voted off yet. The one player I had... quit.

In the game against Rita, I lost one to quitting and one to being voted off... and that was a person I was stuck with at the end.

I AM THE KING OF SURVIVOR!!!!

Book 19 of 52 -- Brad Meltzer's The Millionaires


God I love and hate travelling at the same time.

I hate being away from home, wife and dog, but I love being in cities that I have never visited before. This past trip to San Antonio was great in that I learned a lot and got a lot of stuff done.

I also got to go to the Southern Regional NCAA semifinals and saw two incredibly awesome games, but in between the things and at the gym, I was able to read Brad Meltzer's The Millionaires.

The Millionaires is about two brothers who work at a private bank and they still $3 million, but soon realize that they were tricked into actually stealing $313 million.

The brother tandem then goes on the run and must figured out who set them up to prove their relative interest. It's interesting to see how even though they committed a major crime, I was still rooting for their success and well being.

I feel as though a lot of my reviews for Brad Meltzer books are that they are good beach reading.

This is a great beach reading as it is entertaining, intelligent and fun.

Thursday, March 29, 2007

Survivor Fiji -- Update

The NCAA tournament has gotten in the way of our beloved Survivor. They didn't air it two weeks ago and then aired it on the wrong day last week, but alas, I was able to watch it.

I sit here and write this as Tucker stares at me. He can't wait to find out what I am writing... oh Tucker... you will have to wait until I post it... ha ha ha... big pawed cutie fur butt.

Here are a few comments about the remaining players.

Dre -- This last episode showed me nothing about you except you re-aligning yourself with awesome Earl. I am still rooting for you...and I hope you at least make the final two.

Earl -- YES! You have finally broken through and you are now able to show how smart you are and you are now becoming one of the smarmiest folks on the show.

Cassandra -- I am liking her strategy with Dre and I think she will probably go close to the end.

Yau-Man -- Yau-Man gets a new lease on life with the new mixed up tribe and I am interested to see how well he acclamates to new people who might want to boot his scrawnly little ass off.

Boo -- Dufus.

Mookie -- Dufus squared. How fun is it that you are now on the same team as the other dufus.

Michelle and Stacey -- I think they forgot to put you two in the episode this week.

Lisi -- OH JESUS. WILL YOU PLEASE LEARN TO SHUT YOUR FRIGGING MOUTH? seriously. Learn to shut the F up. That whole interaction between you and Jeff just drove me out of my mind and I wanted to reach into the screen and smack the crap out of you.

Alex & Eduardo -- Why do I get the feeling that the switch up screwed you big time? Well, it's because you are now on a tribe of idiotic dufuses (is that a double negative?)

James -- A.K.A. Rocky. I usually root for the bad guy on the show... like Johnny Fairplay and Brian. They make the show more interesting since the show is primarilly a social experiment. However... I cannot root for Rocky/James. He is actually a frigging asshole and needs to be shot. He is just plain mean and not worth much. This week's beratement of Anthony was embarassing and I hope he falls into a shark's mouth.

Jeff Probst -- Still a silly little man with silly hats and silly arm waves.

Speaking of the games... I am SOOO going to win this thing and I can't wait to get two more cases of beer... out of this. (This is a reminder to ASSSFAULT though... you already owe me two cases... )

TIME FOR A PARTY!

SURVIVOR FIJI GAMES

GAME 1

Tucker’s Nuts
Dre (1)
Earl (4)
Cassandra (5)
Yau-Man (8)
Boo (9)
Mookie (12)
Michelle (13)
Lisi (14)
Gary (15) -- Quit Week Four

AASSSFAULT
Alex (2)
Edguardo (6)
James (7)
Stacy (10)
Anthony (7) -- Booted Week Six!!!!
Rita (3) -- Booted Week Five!!!!
Lilliana (18) -- Sacrificed Week Four!!!!
Erica (11) -- Booted Week Two!!!!
Jessica (14) -- Booted Week One!!!!

No Team
Sylvia (19) -- Booted Week Three!!!!

GAME 2 With a New Victim

Tucker’s Nuts

Dre (1)
Earl (4)
Cassandra (5)
Boo (8)
Yau Man (9)
Michelle (12)
Lisi (13)
Gary (16) -- Quit Week Four
Lilliana (17) -- Sacrificed Week Four

Rita is a Smoking, Hot Milf
Alex (2)
Edgardo (3)
Mookie (10)
James (14)
Stacy (15)
Anthony (7) -- Booted Week Six
Rita (18) -- Booted Week Five
Erica (11) -- Booted Week Two
Jessica (6) -- Booted Week One

No Team
Sylvia (19) -- Booted Week Three

Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Happy Anniversary Tucker!

It's been two lovely years... keep us happy.

We can't remember what it was like without you!

How Hard Is It Really??

I have learned a very important lesson recently.

If you are not in New Jersey or New York -- bagels suck balls.

I use such language because that's just how much they suck.

In San Antonio, I was running a bit late because of my brush with fame with Newt Gingrich. I was not going to make it to the continental breakfast so I stopped to get a bagel in the lobby breakfast nook.

I asked for a bagel with butter. She said sure and stepped away, came back, and took my money. That's when I realized my bagel was toasting.

I don't like my bagel toasted so I asked for a different bagel. She went into the back and threw a bag at me.

It had the toasted bagel and her explanation that "it wasn't toasted for too long"

I politely returned the bagel and asked for another one as it was toasted long enough. I got it with a huff and a puff.

This time.......no butter.

You would have thought that I would have asked for a kidney when she got more upset than earlier.

How hard is it really? She didn't even butter the bagel.

Frustrating to say the least.

Tuesday, March 27, 2007

Book 18 of 52 -- Janet Evanovich's Plum Loving

One of my guilty pleasures every year is to read the annual installment of the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich.

Janet Evanovich's books are ... for some reason... international sensations. Her writing is simplistic and overly reliant on using cliches and formulaic storylines.

I can't say that over the 12.5 books in the series that a whole lot has changed in the lives of the characters, but hey... it is a decent ride.

Her books focus on a character named Ms. Stephanie Plum, and she is a bounty hunter in Trenton, New Jersey... I find Evanovich's descriptions of the area to be sophmoric yet accurate enough to remind me of my time living just outside of Trenton. I think she's a bit harsh on the "jersey" stereotypes, but hey..you gotta sell books huh?



She wrote a special book for the Valentine's Day season entitled Plum Lovin'.

It's a simple read and I laughed at points while trying to figure out the simplsitic plot. The plots are so simple that you often look too deeply into them.

Regardless... the latest in the series doesn't disappoint as Lula and Grandma have significant roles again... so for those of you that know the series.. you won't be disappointed. Also... one of the major characters gets hitched. Ha ha... you gotta read it to figure it out.

Final Four Bound!!!!!

WOOOOO HOOOOOOO

LSU IS NEXT!

Monday, March 26, 2007

Dancing With the Stars -- Initial Commentary

Yeah... I am watching it and we are currently watching a taped version right now.

Ian Ziering -- I want him to lose (not because of him, but because he totally reminds me someone I do not particularly care for in real life) and it made me sad to see that he was actually pretty darn good.



Paulina Porizkova -- She was much more charming and funny than I thought she was going to be. Tangent Woman likes her too... but her officaly assessment is that she needs to extend her arms a bit more. What will the judges say? Great arms. I love my expert wife.



Billy Ray Cyrus -- Billy Ray looks so different that I really had no idea who the hell he was. He describes himself as a left footed hillbilly. That isn't too far from the truth. I do have to say... he was entertaining with his mullet wearing partner who is a gorgeous woman... who uglied herself up with the hair. And what an ending... he was supposed to remove her mullet and it wouldn't come off... fuuuunnnyyy...



Leeza Gibbons -- I am not sure how I feel about her... she seems genuine... but remains a bit too much on the polished side. She did seem to be having fun though.



Joey Fatone -- Perhaps... the ugliest and funniest N Sync member made us giggle and he can tear it up out there too. I expect him to be in the finals at the end.



Laila Ali -- Oh god... ummm... I may take some shit for this... but... ummm... is she a dude? She should be proud of what she did even though she might not win it all.



John Ratzenberger -- I have always associated him with his Cheers persona. I really liked his internivew and he seems like somebody I would want to hang out with. Cheers to Johnny R!



Shandi Finnessey -- My favorite part of Lingo because she is so good and giving Chuck the shit back that he deserves. She might be a bit on the annoying side so far... but I'll give her the benefit of the doubt... pretty people get that benefit... especially when I am giving it out. She will be a midlevel performer.



Clyde Drexler -- He is a bit on the charming side and I bet he doesn't go much further than a mid level, but he is trying a whole bunch. Tangent Woman thinks he is charming as well and she officially "likes him." Good luck Clyde... but relax a bit... you have possibilities (look at me... offering advice...)



Heather Mills -- No... I do not want this evil "Charity Campaigner" to win. It is also for a purely personal reason as she tries to destroy the super awesome Paul McCartney. Every week, I am rooting for two things... boobs to pop out and Heather Mills' leg to fall off.



Apolo Anton Ohno -- Me likey... and me likey his partner who is supposedly 18. I think though... that she might actually be 29. I bet he goes pretty far.



Tom and Samantha are as over the top as normal and over selling it so much that it is actually kind of fun.

My initial impressions -- Joey Fatone, Ian Ziering, and Ohno are the ones to watch.

Sunday, March 25, 2007

RRRRUUUUTTTTGGGGEEEERRRRSSSS



They beat the best team in the country!

GO RUTGERS !!! And... it was only to get into the Elite Eight.

Click Here

It is ....

...... so frigging good to be home...

I heard a great quote by Lyndon Baines Johnson:

Better to have your enemies inside the tent pissing out than outside the tent pissing in.

Saturday, March 24, 2007

Happy Birfday...

.... Smelmooo's sister.

Friday, March 23, 2007

Brush With Fame -- Part Three

I have been on three big trips this year...and I have interacted/talked with three famous people.

Trip one -- Robinson Cano

Trip two -- Rob Lowe

Trip three -- Newt Gingrich

Newt has a humungous head.

Scout's honor.

Thursday, March 22, 2007

Happy Birfday Sharico -- Unfortunately ... A Bears Fan

Have a great one toots.

Tucker wishes you well as well.

Wednesday, March 21, 2007

I Found a Computer

I just wanted to wish everyone a nice day...

It is soooo warm here...

I could... umm... eat outside if I wanted to.

Smelmooo

Tuesday, March 20, 2007

Off on a Trip....

... I am off again...

San Antonio... here I come...


One of the positive thing is that I was able to score some tickets to the NCAA South Regionals at the Alamodome...

Peace be with you for a few days... and yes... I will be sure to check out the basement at the Alamo for you.

Monday, March 19, 2007

Book 17 of 52 -- Stephen White's Dry Ice

It's only March.... I must be ahead of schedule. I am flying out to San Antonio tomorrow and returning on Saturday... you know what that means? It means that I will have finished a whole bunch of books.

I was excited to see that one of my favorite authors Stephen White decided to put out his annual mystery Dry Ice starring his re-occurring character -- Alan Gregory.



Alan Gregory is psychologist and for the past 15 or so years, he seems to get caught up in some sort of murder mystery where he must rely on his psychological prowess to somehow solve the crime and save the day.

I enjoy these books as White is an intelligent writer who has a good sense of misdirection and is able to incorporate his former career as an actual clinical psychologist into the mystery.

Alan Gregory as a character is easy to associate with as he is flawed and has some very real qualities about him. He enjoys success yet remains true to his roots. I enjoy whatever adventure he gets himself into.

For weeks, I have been receiving emails from the Stephen White email list advertising and teasing me with the latest Alan Gregory novel... and I couldn't wait.

The library had a copy on the first day... so I picked it up... of course... and I read it in a few days.

He re-focused all his attentions back upon Alan where his last books drifted away from him. It tapped into feelings that most people could relate to. I got to a point where I couldn't put the book down at times.

Book was really good and the last 200 pages was fast paced and exciting...

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Thank You Chris Rock

We watched a taped Saturday Night Live this morning and it started with Chris Rock doing a monologue on the presidential candidates.

He asked the question if the country is ready for a black president.

His answer?

Yes... because we have just had a retarded one.

Thank you Chris Rock.

Pet Rules

PET RULES
To be posted VERY LOW on the refrigerator door - nose height.

Dear Dogs and Cats,
The dishes with the paw print are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Please note, placing a print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in he slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Beating me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure Your comfort. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other stretched out to the Fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having Tongues hanging out the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is not a secret exit from the bathroom. If by some miracle I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is Not necessary to claw, whine, meow, bark, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge and try to pull the door open. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years --canine or felineattendance is not required.
The proper order is kiss me, then go smell the other dog or cat's butts. I cannot stress this enough!

To pacify you, my dear pets, I have posted the following message on our front door:

To All Non-Pet Owners Who Visit & Like to Complain About Our Pets:

1. They live here. You don't.
2. If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it "fur" niture.
3. I like my pets a lot better than I like most people.
4. To you, it's an animal. To me, he/she is an adopted son/daughter who is short, hairy, walks on all fours and doesn't speak clearly.


Remember: Dogs and cats are better than kids because they:

1. Eat less
2 Don't ask for money all the time
3. Are easier to train
4. Normally come when called
5. Never ask to drive the car
6. Don't hang out with drug-using friends
7. Don't smoke or drink
8. Don't want to wear your clothes
9. Don't need a gazillion dollars for college, and...
10. If they get pregnant, you can sell their children

Saturday, March 17, 2007

Happy St. Patrick's Day -- Joke Time -- The Presidency

One sunny day in 2008, an old man approached the White House from Pennsylvania Avenue, where he'd been sitting on a park bench. He spoke to the Marine standing guard and said, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton."

The Marine replied, "Sir, Mrs. Clinton is not President and doesn't reside here."

The old man said, "Okay," and walked away.

The following day, the old man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton".

Again, the Marine told the man, "Sir, as I said yesterday, Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn't reside here."

The man thanked him and again walked away . . .

The third day, the old man approached the White House and said to the same Marine, "I would like to go in and meet with President Hillary Clinton."

The Marine, slightly agitated at this point, looked at the man and said, "Sir, this is the third day in a row you have been here asking to speak to Mrs. Clinton. I've told you several times that Mrs. Clinton is not the President and doesn't reside here. Do you understand?"

The old man answered, "Oh, I understand you perfectly, I just love hearing your answer!"

The Marine snapped to attention and saluted, "See you tomorrow, sir!"

Friday, March 16, 2007

My Funniest Book Review Yet... Book 16 of 52 -- Sue Monk Kid's The Secret Life of Bees

So there I was... it was the winter of 2007. I was a young man who had not yet discovered my feminine side. It has always perplexed me... why can't I find it?

Then... after reading this sweet coming of age story Sue Monk Kid's The Secret Life of Bees... I discovered why.



I read about Lilly... a young white girl in the mid 60's who ran away from home in search of more information about her dead mother when she discovered a home full of black sisters.

She discovered her womanhood and the real lack of difference between blacks and whites.

And I discovered... that I couldn't find my feminine side... because... I am a dude...

No matter how much Sue Monk wanted me to be a girl... trying to convince me with her writing...

I will not be tricked!

Oh yeah... the book is pretty good too.

Thursday, March 15, 2007

Three Word Movie Reviews

Babel -- Pointless, Confusingly Mediocre

Brotherhood (Season 1) -- Departed + Sopranos = Brotherhood

Clerks 2 -- Pillow Pants..... Rules.

Confetti -- Improvised, Cute Film

Farce of the Penguins -- Stupid, Wasted Time

A Good Year -- Surprisingly Sweet, Nice

A Guide to Recognizing Your Saints -- Gritty Greatness Guide

Hollywoodland -- Bird, Plane... Provocative

Infamous -- Better Than Capote

Infernal Affairs -- Good As Departed

Keeping Mum -- Sshhh! It's Awesome

Let's Go to Prison! -- "Oh Crap!" Bad

Life Support -- Beep.... Beep..... beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep

Longford -- Appropriately Titled Film

Mallrats -- Silly, Silly Giggles

Mad Max -- Low Budget Classic

Man of the Year -- I Liked It?

Marie Antoinette -- Couldn't Finish Film

Planet of the Apes 2001 -- Surpisingly Fun, Entertaining

The Prestige -- Boring Period Piece

The Return -- Return to Sender

Something New -- Tired Cliche... Reversed...

Stranger Than Fiction -- Fantasticly Smooth Storyline

Tenacious D: The Pick of Destiny -- Good Campy Fun

The Wire (Season 4) -- Is Anything Better?

Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Book 15 of 52 -- Brian Haig's Man in the Middle

As you know, I pick up an author and generally read everytihing by him or her in chronological order until I am finished. I then keep up with the author's new books as they come out.

One of the newer authors out there trying to write interesting mystery/thrillers is the son of Alexander Haig -- Brian Haig. Brian is an accomplished and retired Army fella himself and writes about an Army Lawyer who deals with the top secret cases.

The latest installment is about the same character, Sean Drummond, working to track down a group of killers.



The previous five books are all better than this one. I really recommend giving one of his earlier books a shot if you are into the mystery thriller type stuff. As a former Army soldier, he has a lot of insight into the ways of the Army.

He is also a resident of Princeton, NJ, so you gotta give him the props that he deserves.

Tuesday, March 13, 2007

That's Rob Lowe!



Really... it is.

This was taken during our trip to San Francisco.

I finally got the picture out of my camera and put it up.

We saw him in the store and then waited outside across the way to take his picture like a pair of stalkers. We were about 20 inches from him in the store and it was pretty aweinspiring for The Tangent Woman.

He is/was much smaller than I expected.

Monday, March 12, 2007

Book 14 of 52 -- Stephen Frey's The Successor

Last week, I was hanging around the house all by myself as muh wife is on yet another one of her 2-3 day work trips so I read a whole bunch.

The Successor was a book by one of my favorite New Jersey native sons - Stephen Frey. He isn't a top named author and you won't find his books on the New York Times bestseller lists anymore. In fact, he doesn't even have a website so I am not sure how you find out he has new books coming out in this new digital world. I had to hear about it from a freind this time around.



His books ALWAYS follow a similar plotline yet I am intrigued each time I read one. It goes as follows:

1. Find a sap that is a super smart and great fella and put him in the race or threat of his life.

2. Have this poor sap do this as the major equity traders in the world try to bring him or her down.

3. Have the sap fight fight fight and bring the big super mean men down.

4. End of story... everyone is happy a doodle.

The Successor is no different except that the protagonist is the head of one of these firms and another "firm" is trying to bring him down.

He fights fights fights and brings the man(men) down. Everyone is almost happy a doodle. Good enough fluff and insight into the financial world, but not enough to suggest reading this book as your first Stephen Frey book.

Next up... Brian Haig's The Man in the Middle

Sunday, March 11, 2007

R.I.P. Richard Jeni



You were one of my absolute favorite performers and comedians.

Good luck whereever you are now.

http://www.postchronicle.com/news/original/article_21268468.shtml

Saturday, March 10, 2007

Point system for men ...

Point system for men ...

For all you guys out there who just can't figure it out, here it is: In the world of romance, one single rule applies: Make the woman happy. Do something she likes and you get points. Do something she dislikes and points are subtracted. You don't get any points for doing something she expects...Sorry, that's the way the game is played.

Here is a guide to the point system.

Simple Duties:
You make the bed, +1
You make the bed, but forget to add the decorative pillows, 0
You throw the bedspread over rumpled sheets, -1
You leave the toilet seat up, -5
You replace the toilet-paper roll when it's empty, 0
When the toilet-paper roll is barren, you resort to Kleenex, -1
When the Kleenex runs out you shuffle slowly to the next bathroom, -2
You go out to buy her spring-fresh extra-light panty liners with wings, +5

But return with beer, -5
You check out a suspicious noise at night, 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's nothing, 0
You check out a suspicious noise and it's something, +5
You pummel it with a six iron, +10
It's her father, -10

Social Engagements:
You stay by her side the entire party, 0
You stay by her side for a while, then leave to chat with a college drinking buddy,-2
Named Tiffany,-4
Tiffany is a dancer, -6
Tiffany has implants, -8

Her Birthday:
You take her out to dinner, 0
You take her out to dinner and it's not a sports bar,+1
Okay, it is a sports bar,-2
And it's all-you-can-eat night,-3
It's a sports bar, it's all-you-can-eat night, and your face is painted the colors of your favorite team,-10

A Night Out With The Boys:
Go out with a pal, -5
And the pal is happily married, -4
Or frighteningly single, -7
And he drives a Mustang,-10
With a personalized license plate (GR8 N BD), -15

A Night Out:
You take her to a movie, +2
You take her to a movie she likes, +4
You take her to a movie you hate, +6
You take her to a movie you like, -2
It's called DeathWish, -3
Which features cyborgs, -9
You lied and said it was a foreign film about orphans,-15

Your Physique:
You develop a noticeable potbelly -15
You develop a noticeable potbelly and exercise to get rid of it,+10
You develop a noticeable potbelly and resort to loose jeans and baggy Hawaiian shirts, -30
You say "I don't give a damn because you have one too", -800

The Big Question:
She asks, "Do I look fat?", -5
You hesitate in responding, -10
You reply, "Where?", -35

Communication:
When she wants to talk about a problem, you listen, displaying what looks like a concerned expression, 0
When she wants to talk, you listen, for over 30 minutes,+5
You listen for more than 30 minutes without looking at the TV, +10
She realizes this is because you've fallen asleep, -20


WHAT'S YOUR SCORE?????

Friday, March 09, 2007

NNNNNNNNNOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Salma Hayek: Engaged and Pregnant!


Double the good news for Salma Hayek: The actress is engaged to businessman boyfriend François-Henri Pinault – and she's pregnant.

"Businessman, François-Henri Pinault, and his fiancée, Salma Hayek, are happy to announce they are expecting the arrival of their first child," Hayek's rep confirmed in a statement Friday.

The news, first reported by New York Daily News columnist Ben Widdicombe (via gossip site Perez Hilton), comes just days after a photo of Hayek made the Web rounds prompting speculation that she was expecting.

The pair have kept a relatively low profile since their relationship began – though Hayek, 40, has joined Pinault for occasional public events, including one in October at the festivities surrounding the inauguration of the Pinault Foundation's Modern Art collection in Venice's Gritti Palace.

Survivor Fiji -- Update

Wow.... it's been a long time since I posted about Survivor Fiji and so many people have been booted or quit.

Here are a few comments about the remaining players.

Dre -- I am feeling pretty bad that they treat you like such an outsider. I wanted to help him with the coffee maker incident last night. Yes... you are proud, but the actions of Stacy and Lisi were 1000% classless

Earl -- I really think that Earl is the nicest player in the game and I honestly expect him to win the whole thing.

Cassandra -- I am liking her strategy with Dre and I think she will probably go close to the end.

Yau-Man -- Surprising little fella and it made me so happy to watch her kick Stacy's ass.

Boo -- This guy is like a giant teddybear and it makes me giggle to watch him do anything.

Mookie -- You cannot be Yul. I will give you one break in that you had no idea who Yul was when you filmed this since it aired while you were on the island.

Michelle -- An Asian valley girl... and I don't want to like her (for the valley girl reason), but for some reason, I like her a lot.

Lisi -- oooooh.... you are the one I am focussing much of my anger and irritation at right now. How happy was I when you fell on your face during the memory game? Very.

Alex -- I wasn't sure about you in the beginning pretty boy, but now it seems that you are the Earl of your camp -- thinking ahead and smart.

Edguardo -- What? I can't understand anything you say.

James -- A.K.A. Rocky. I would like to rock a fist upside his head.

Stacy -- EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL EVIL

Anthony -- I am mixed on you. I think you can't get out of your own way.

Jeff Probst -- Silly little man with silly hats and silly arm waves.

SURVIVOR FIJI GAMES

GAME 1


Tucker’s Nuts
Dre (1)
Earl (4)
Cassandra (5)
Yau-Man (8)
Boo (9)
Mookie (12)
Michelle (13)
Lisi (14)
Gary (15) -- Quit Week Four

AASSSFAULT
Alex (2)
Edguardo (6)
James (7)
Stacy (10)
Anthony (15)
Rita (3) -- Booted Week Five!!!!
Lilliana (18) -- Sacrificed Week Four!!!!
Erica (11) -- Booted Week Two!!!!
Jessica (14) -- Booted Week One!!!!

No Team
Sylvia (19) -- Booted Week Three!!!!

GAME 2 With a New Victim

Tucker’s Nuts
Dre (1)
Earl (4)
Cassandra (5)
Boo (8)
Yau Man (9)
Michelle (12)
Lisi (13)
Gary (16) -- Quit Week Four
Lilliana (17) -- Sacrificed Week Four

Rita is a Smoking, Hot Milf
Alex (2)
Edgardo (3)
Anthony (7)
Mookie (10)
James (14)
Stacy (15)
Rita (18) -- Booted Week Five
Erica (11) -- Booted Week Two
Jessica (6) -- Booted Week One

No Team
Sylvia (19) -- Booted Week Three

Thursday, March 08, 2007

Name Thing Follow Up

This thing is stupid... because when I typed in my wife's name, it said that there NONE of her.

Stupid.

I know whom I married... and she is Tangent Woman

How Many of Me


HowManyOfMe.com
LogoThere are:
77
people with my name
in the U.S.A.

How many have your name?



And I know 2 of them.

More Proof that Geeks Will Inherit the Earth

Obi-Wan's cloak goes for $104,000

LONDON, England (AP) -- The brown hooded cloak worn by Obi-Wan Kenobi in the "Star Wars" films -- and then forgotten for years in a warehouse -- sold for $104,000 to an anonymous telephone bidder Tuesday at an auction of movie and TV memorabilia.

Audience members raised their paddles in rapid succession as costumes flashed across TV screens at Bonhams, a British auctioneer, as staff fielded phone bids from all over the world. When the hammer dropped on a Bond girl's cat-suit or Anthony Hopkins' army uniform, men in dark blazers whispered the prices into their cell phones.

"It's nerve-racking, of course it is," costume collector Kamran Raja said as the outfits from "Evita," which starred Madonna, were auctioned off. He made a bid, paying $5,200 to add a fur-lined dressing gown from the 1996 movie to his 40-piece collection, which he said included one of Madonna's bras.

"I just aged 20 years in two minutes," he said.

The auction's main attraction was the hooded cloak worn by Alec Guinness as Ben Obi-Wan Kenobi in "Star Wars." It had gone unnoticed in the company's inventory until its provenance was discovered last year.

"How would anyone have known when that film was made that it would attain cult status?" said Tim Angel, chairman of Angels The Costumiers.

Angel said the company was trying to cut insurance costs by selling some 400 movie, TV and theater costumes from its 1.5 million-piece collection.

Some of the more eye-catching costumes -- including Mel Gibson's kilt from "Braveheart" and the James Bond dinner jacket from "Thunderball" -- were modeled by Bonhams staff.

While most of the bidders were dealers or collectors, a few were looking for a cheap conversation piece from a famous film or actor, said Bonhams specialist Stephanie Connell.

"You might just wear a suit to a dinner party and say, `Look, it's a Michael Caine suit,' " Connell said. However, the Bond dinner jacket -- a big-ticket item that sold for $64,700 -- would probably never see another martini, she said.

The auction also included the beaten metal helmet worn by Terry Jones in "Monty Python and the Holy Grail." It sold for $19,300, 20 times more than its pre-sale estimate.

Raja, the pop costume collector, was mystified.

"It's just a metal bucket," he said, shaking his head.

Book 13 of 52 James Patterson's Step on a Crack

So... one of the most famous and prolific writers in the world is James Patterson and he puts out about 5 books a year. This is his first book for 2007, and he introduces a new character. A completely over the top character in a police detective/hostage negotiator from New York City.



Not over the top enough for you?

Ok... he and his wife have ten kids that they have adopted.

Not over the top enough for you yet?

His wife has cancer throughout the whole book and is on a countdown for when she will probably die.

It's an outrageous book about a group of people who take over St. Patrick's Cathedral to get money... yeah... I know.. it's been done before and done better by Nelson DeMille in Cathedral, but what the heck... it was a good simplistic read.

It serves it purpose... and the escape from St. Patrick's is stunningly amazing and I would love to see it done on film.

Wednesday, March 07, 2007

Rutgers Women's Basketball

Congrats on winning the Big East title last night.

I think you might have more post season wins than the men's team did all season long.

Book 12 of 52 Brad Meltzer's The First Counsel

So there I was... in San Francisco. I was by muhself because muh wife had gone home a couple days earlier. I had brought only a couple DVDs to watch when it was slow and a couple of books. I had one full book to read on the way home -- Brad Meltzer's The First Counsel.

This is the third book I have read from Brad Meltzer and he continues to entertain me with his writing. He seems to weave plot elements so easily.



The book follows the relationship between one of the President's younger lawyers and his romantic relationship with the First Daughter. The intrigue and funness ensued.

For the next 6 hours... I plowed my way through 450 pages of the book and it was with great ease and fun.

Meltzer's books are perfect for the pool, beach, or plane. They are intelligent and can be read for no reason.

Tuesday, March 06, 2007

SONOMA – MMM MMM MMM Good

One of the reasons that we flew out early to San Francisco was to go to Sonoma with our friends and try out some real wineries.

I say real because the wineries in New Jersey just do not qualify as real wineries since they mostly make wine from Concord grapes. Mmmm… fruit wines are fine for … umm… the end of October-ish.

With a belly full of breakfast and food, we loaded up into our friends’ truck and headed to the Sonoma Valley where we hit two wineries before lunch time. Here are a couple of pictures where the first one was an experiment in style and architecture. The place had a really cool basement-ish type place where they had some wine tastings.

Sbragia was the second winery we went to and it was on an amazing cliff type area where we saw miles and miles of landscapes. It was absolutely gorgeous.

After lunch in a local market, we ended the tour at the St. Francis Winery where our friends have a membership. We were treated special and ended up in the back room while tasting wine with some interesting food pairings.

The highlight of that part of the stop included the port… gosh darn it… port is good.

We had a great time on a day of tremendous weather – about 73 degrees and sunny and good friends and food.

What a good first try at real wine tasting.

Monday, March 05, 2007

Take the Good, and You Take the Bad

So... not since the 1950's has this happened.

The Rutgers football team had more wins than the Rutgers basketball team.

11 to 10.

Book 11 of 52 – David Baldacci’s The Collectors

As a follow up to his international best seller The Camel Club, David Baldacci returns with a sequel in The Collectors.

The Camel Club is a group of four men who had the mission to keep the American government in check. Given the fact that one of the maintains a cemetery while another is a Reading Room employee at the Library of Congress. They are not powerful or dynamic figures, but they are interesting…

The Collectors finds our lovable bunch of 4 losers getting caught up again in some mystery and intrigue when one of the guys is exposed to the death of his boss. The death is weird and all of a sudden… they are embroiled in more intrigue and mystery.

There is another major plot element that involves a woman con man who rips people off, which was distracting and possibly more interesting than most of the other book.

This really is one of the better beach reads… and I can’t give away too much more in the plot in case you decide to read it.

Sunday, March 04, 2007

How to Stay Awake in Meetings

Do you keep falling asleep in meetings and seminars?
What about those long and boring conference calls?

Here's a way to change all that.

1. Before (or during) your next meeting, seminar, or conference call, prepare yourself by drawing a square. (I find that 5" x 5" is a good size.)

2. Divide the square into columns - five across and five down. That will give you 25 one-inch blocks.

3. Write one of the following words/phrases in each block:

* synergy

* strategic fit

* core competencies

* best practice

* bottom line

* revisit

* expeditious

* to tell you the truth (or "the truth is")

* 24/7

* out of the loop

* benchmark

* value-added

* pro-active

* win-win

* think outside the box

* fast track

* result-driven

* empower (or empowerment)

* knowledge based

* at the end of the day

* touch base

* mind-set

* client focused

* paradigm

* game plan

* leverage


4. Check off the appropriate block when you hear one of those words/phrases.

5. When you get five blocks horizontally, vertically, or diagonally, stand up and shout "BULLSHIT!"


Testimonials from satisfied "Bullshit Bingo" players:

"I had been in the meeting for only five minutes when I won."
- Adam, Atlanta

"My attention span at meetings has improved dramatically."
- David, Florida

"What a gas! Meetings will never be the same for me after my first win."
- Dan, New York City

"The atmosphere was tense in the last process meeting as 14 of us waited for the fifth box."
- Ben, Denver

"The speaker was stunned as eightof us screamed 'BULLSHIT!' for the third time in two hours."
- Paul, Cleveland

"When I won and yelled "BULLSHIT!" the woman sleeping next to me slid off her chair!"
- Joseph, Los Angeles

Saturday, March 03, 2007

Happy Birfday Marky Marc

That's all I got for today.

Friday, March 02, 2007

Book 10 of 52 – Jim Collins’ Good to Great

So. One of the speakers at the conference I attended in San Francisco was Jim Collins – the author of Good to Great. Good to Great is an international bestseller that focuses on the 11 companies that have been identified as “Great” companies and what makes these companies “Great” in comparison to companies that were just “Good.”

It is an interesting empirical look at success. What makes these companies the best at what they do? What makes Wells Fargo and Walgreens “Great” companies?

Of the characteristics, the one I find the most interesting is that their CEOs were not larger than life characters like a Lee Iaococca or Donald “Jackass” Trump. Their leadership were humble and enabled the company to move forward – in so much that if they were to get hit by a bus, the company would continue to succeed. Iaococca set up his company for sure failure as soon as he left.

Whatever… you need to read the book to fully grasp this relevance…

Thursday, March 01, 2007

FLYING TO SAN FRANCISCO – WORST TRIP EVER

Fine... you guys that were comparing me to Steakbellie with our promises to write blogs... can stop now... I did it... Steakbellie still has three to go! I get away with one.

This was one of the most amazing days in my life in terms of travel that it requires an entire blog. I want to preclude the entire thing by stating that if any one of these things went wrong, the entire trip would have been cancelled.

We had reservations for the 7 am direct flight from Newark to San Francisco for about 4 months now. We were excited about the trip and couldn’t wait to go… then… the weather predictions started to roll in. They were predicting ice and snow up to and including our take off time.

We have flown from a snowstorm before and weren’t really sure how the addition of ice or rain would affect us. It began the day before when we were told that our flight was cancelled and we were rebooked on a 4:00 pm flight. That let us down a bit because we were supposed to do some wine tasting with our friends that afternoon.

We made an executive decision and decided the night before to still go to the airport at 9:00 am and be put on standby for the 11:45 am flight.

The night came and went and we met our car at 9:00 am in front of our house. He was a new driver we had never had before, but seemed ready to drive us to the airport even though the weather wasn’t ideal. The road in front of our house was somewhat clear, so we had NO idea what to expect when we got on the main road.

It was a HORRIBLE ride to the airport that involved slipping and sliding around on the Turnpike. We had to pull over at one point while the driver scraped the ice off the windshield wipers.

Shaken and visibly upset, we walked into the airport ready to check in for our flight and get put on standby. We made our way to the gate for the 11:45 flight and set up shop. Time passed and we were eventually promised that we would be put on the flight. That’s when the time for the flight changed accompanied by the following announcement, “Ladies and gentleman, the ice storm has prevented the flight crew that was supposed to handle your flight from arriving in Newark. They are still in Cleveland and anticipate being here in a couple of hours. We anticipate boarding the plane maybe around 2 pm. We’ll get back to you soon.”

Now… feeling like crap about getting out, we set up a more permanent shop, but ready to leave if we were going to make it for the 3:55 flight as originally planned.

Then… 12 minutes later… this announcement was made. “We found this flight crew who will be happy to take you out.”

PHEW!

On the plane and after 1.5 hours of de-icing and checking for problems, we eventually left the Newark Airport and flew to San Francisco.

(I AM NOT GOING TO WRITE ABOUT THE ABSOLUTE WORST TAKE OFF I HAVE EVER EXPERIENCED EXCEPT THAT I FIRMLY BELIEVE THAT THE PLANE WAS FISHTAILING ALL OVER THE PLACE).

We made up some time and arrived at 4:30 – only 35 minutes late, BUT 6 hours later than we wanted/were supposed to be there.

Lessons learned – Things often end up working out for the best.