Wednesday, October 31, 2007


Dancing With the Stars -- Morning After Reflection

Hee Hee..


I think you were crying.

I really do.

Hee hee....

Halloween and Horror Movie Recommendations


Halloween is here and I have to admit that I love this holiday. I don't necessarily love the dressng up part or the candy part or the trick or treating part, but I love a whole bunch of other things.

I love that it means that it gets darker earlier... I love that it represents the smell of dead leaves on the ground that crunch when you walk on them. I love that it represents putting on a light jacket and visiting a scare fest someplace in a local town where you voluntarilly allow yourself to be spooked and you pay for it!

I guess what I am trying to say is that I love the months of October and November. The pumpkins and leaves of the same color make me smile and remind me of how awesome and beautiful Mother Nature is.

Who am I kidding... I really love it because it gives me a damn fine excuse to pull out some of my favorite horror movies. I got some wacky ones that I love too... as I have seen so many of them. I used to work in a video store on 10 hour shifts where we would get 5 or 6 customers a day. I watched everything I could in that store.

I decided to compile a list of some classic and not so classic horror movies that you might want to pick up this weekend from your local Blockbuster. Good luck if you are a Netflixer... I tried getting a few..but they are all of a sudden on the "Short Wait" list.

Legitimate Horror Movies

1. Fright Night -- The film stars Roddy McDowall as an Elvira type movie host who befriends a kid who has a vampire move into his neighborhood. The vampire is played by Chris Sarandon -- the evil Prince in the Princess Bride. the sequel is just as much fun, but the original is a cult classic. It is scary... and just fun.

2. The Shining -- Stanley Kubrick and Jack Nicholson combine to deviate from Stephen King's original book but create a movie that still makes me jump every time I see it. How can you not be scared every time those little girls ride the Big Wheels down the hallways that fill up with blood? Gets me every time...I will only watch this movie in the daytime.

3. Nightmare on Elm Street -- The first one is truly a scary flick before Freddy became a national icon and favorite son of sorts. I refused to listen to my walkman and lie on my bed for almost two years after watching this film. Not good... not good... heck... in case you didn't know... Johnny Depp is in the original. Also... little known trivia... Kevin Bacon gets wasted in the first Friday the 13th.

Goofy Horror Movies

1. Dead Alive -- This is one of the original films that Peter Jackson of Lord of the Rings fame made in his home country of New Zealand. The cinematography is horrible because it was made for nothing, but you can see the sense of humor Jackson had when he made a movie about a "zombie virus" going around town and the kid that tries to keep all the zombies happy and living in his mom's house. The climax involves PUDDLES of blood but it is all cartoonish. Trust me... you can really see Jackson's genius in this early flick.

2. Evil Dead 2 -- Sam Raimi of Spider Man and Dark Man directorial fame directed the first one (truly scary and intense) and this second one with a budget. It is still a scary movie at parts but he allowed his buddy Bruce Campbell to show his goofy side as well. The whole three movie series is a hoot. The third one is entitled Army of Darkness and is more of a comedy.

3. Shocker -- Yeah... that's Skinner from X-Files who plays a psychotic killer that can go through power lines and kill whomever he wants. Yeah... Wes Craven directed it and yeah... it is supposeded to be scary... and yeah.. .it isn't... it is funnier than it should be... but it will make you jump a couple of times... not always at the plot but sometimes because of Peter Berg's horrible acting.


If you want to just watch glorified crap for Halloween, I recommend watching anything by Troma Films, Sorority Babes in the SLime Bowl A Rama or Slumber Party Massacre II (starring Crystal Bernard of the Wings)

I have so many other movies I could recommend if you want me to...

What is your favorite legitimate horror movie and fun horror movie? I want to hear someone say People Under the Stairs. Classic Misguided Wes Craven.

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

DWTS Post Mortem!!! My Favorite One So Far...I AM GIDDY...

Sooo... we are now fast forwarding in the beginning because I was at Rutgers this evening for an alumni association meeting and I picked up "Fat" sandwiches for us... we are enjoying them... tremendously..

Soo... Jane... pulled some more bullshit moves... to top the Marie Osmond ploy of passing out... which was to top Jane's dead mother trick. She HAS FOOD POISONING.... BULLSHIT.

I am looking more right with her being pissed off at the passing out bullshit ... huh?

Fast Forward through Barry Manilow and the stupid audience reactions....

First couple saved Mel B. and Maksim... Duh.
Second couple saved Jane and Tony... (no Jane since she is faking it.)

Bruno and Carrie Ann (Read about the Tony and Carrie Anne controversy here!!!) are going to have their own show called Dance Wars... we got a taste of it... it looks like it could be fun...and contrived...

Crap... we did so much fast forwarding... that we caught up live... COMMERCIALS SUCK BALLS.

Third couple saved -- Julianne & Helio (WOO HOOO!!!)

(They just teased Marie & Jonathan... how awesome is that...)

Fourth couple saved -- Jennie & Derek
Fifth couple saved -- Marie & Jonathan

TWO BOTTOM COUPLES -- Cameron and Edyta AND Sabrina and Mark

I had to contain myself for this... I am SO HAPPY that the shit face got voted off... that I screamed in GLEE. I am moderately pissed off because I had drawn two obnoxious pictures... for Jane or Marie's expected departure... now I have to draw a whole new one.

GOOD BYE FLATHEAD!!! (Sabrina Bryan is gone!!!!) Ding dong... the witch is dead... CHeetah Girls all stink.

Good News of the Day for the Smelmooo

Craig Signed for Four More 007 Movies

Apparently having overcome the snide comments that greeted the announcement that he had been chosen to play James Bond for Casino Royale, Daniel Craig has signed on to play him again for four more films, according to published reports. MGM chief Harry Sloan told the Hollywood Reporter that Craig had been signed because franchises are "the basis of any studio." Meanwhile, it was reported that writer-director Paul Haggis (Crash) has delivered his screenplay for the next 007 movie to MGM, just beating out the November 1 WGA strike deadline.


I hate the Red Sox and even I think what Boras did was bullshit.

Jerk offs.

Good riddance.

Stick to your guns Hank...

DWTS -- Week 450!!!! Still Exciting Stuff

Crap... TW and I watched Sabrina Bryan on the Ellen Degeneres show this evening right before we watched DWTS. Yeup... I still f&cking hate her fat little Flathead face. I hoped that she would slip and fall... I am a mean jerk to this turd face.

It's 8:20 pm currently... so I think we shall start the show... it makes it easier since I can fast forward through the commercials.

"Last week, we saw one of our most dramatic episodes in our history..." Oh Tom... you Hyperbolic Bastard. LIIIIIIVE!!!!!!!!!! (I think my wife swoons for TOm Bergeron....)

Holy crap... ANTI-SWOON ALERT! Samantha Harris' dress and hairstyle are not the best on her. She is so lovely... why do they do that to her?

Let's start with Cheetah Girl Sabrina Bryan... let's take a breather here...and try to say something nice about Sabrina Bryan. Her last name isn't entirely horrible... I counted... if you count the word CHEETAH on her sweatshirt... she said "Cheetah Girls" 18 times in her opening 1.5 minutes. This goes back to my definition of Star question. If she has to tell me that she is with the Cheetah Girls that many times.... do I have to believe that she is a star? HA! She messed up and Tangentwoman and I caught it! The judges are picking on her. Good... I hope she cries. (HA! 25... eat 25 Twinkies Flathead!)

Jennie Garth is up. She remains teh most down to earth and fun dancer on the show. The whole pre-interview was about how nervous she gets. She shouldn't be nercous and just needs to have some fun. These Hough kids can really choreograph! The judges seemed to like her more than Sabrina in the comment section. Woo hoo!!!!!!!! (27!!!!!!)

Hee hee... Sabrina is in last place...

Jane Seymour was in the bottom two last week. She must be super steaming about the fake passing out that Marie Osmond (porn) pulled last week. Jane Seymour... a BRITISH WOMAN was proud to perform in front of the American Navymen... since they are fighting for "our country" WHAT?!?!?!?! British faker. )Side note... Tony Dovolani is the nicest person in the world...) Jane's dance was weak and made me sad for her...She is probably better than I will be at her age, but still... the poor dance was boring... The judges said that the Jive is not her best dance... I think that explains how we feel. (22 -- Crap... now Sabrina isn't in last place anymore.)

Cameron Mathison keeps trying to make me laugh... I didn't want to like him at the beginning of the year, but I might actually be kind of rooting for him now... but he's just too darn handsome. (jealousy... ) FBT's wife asked me while watching this... why does Edyta wear a headband a lot....I don't know... I think I figured out what it is about Cameron that I like... he is so enthusiastic about his dancing and yet... it isn't as obnoxious as Sabrina... who just seems fake about it. I liked his dance and he kind of missed the move at the end... but I liked it a lot. (25... phew... not worst than Sabrina at least.)

Mel B of the Spice Girls is up to dance... I can't like her... and her accent is driving me up a wall... I am encouraging her to fall on Maksim's face. (Side note... with the way he moves... how the hell is he not gay? Also... he refers to himself as a bad boy of dancing...if you call yourself a bad boy... you are NOT a bad boy... he has created his own little beard .... ) I don't know if you guys know how I feel... but SHE DANCES FOR A LIVING! Blech. (I kind of want her to get a higher score that shit face... She got a 30... nice...)

Marie Osmond (porn) is up... let's count the fainting spell replays... Once in the opening and now... one more... Phew... only once.. I will take some slack for this, but she is much prettier now and it has a lot to do with the weight loss... Holy crap... this dance was boring as poo.... I think a lot of it has to do with the music. I just giggled like a little boy when Len... the British judge said "Sausages..." Hee hee... (23..... see? We were right... but this gives Sabrina more of an out.)

Juliane Hough and Helio Castroneves is the cutest couple on Dancing With the Stars ever. The dance this week was fun... and seemed to suit Helio much more than last week's dance. Tangentwoman just said... "I just think that he's just so cute... " The audience and Tucker's parents all loved it... I am almost afraid to hear the judges' opinions... They all loved him. Phew... (28!!! Second place... better than douche face ... )

Fun fact... Julianne farted on camera. No joke. Skip to the last 10 seconds.

(Barry Manilow will be back on the live show tomorrow... Awesome! I can't wait to fast forward through that!)

GROUP DANCE!!!!!!! Awesome... another montage... These camera angles are killing me... I love that Edyta and Cameron flip twist in the air thing... HOLY CRAP... what the hell did Julianne just do! That was amazazing... (Benchwarmers...)

Alright... time to log off... I want Sabrina to go home... but it's probably going to be Jane Seymour or Marie Osmond...but I can not underestimate the Mormons ...

Monday, October 29, 2007


Three Word Movie Reviews

28 Weeks Later -- Creepy Fun Zombies

Chalk -- Truly Independent... Entertaining...

Civic Duty -- Tense... Krause Rules

Crazy Love -- Insanely Good Film

Evan Almighty -- Environmentalist Mediocrity.... Eh.

Even Money -- Eh... just passable

Evening -- BLECH That's Drivel

Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer -- Eh... It's Alright.

The Hoax -- No Hoax! Entertaining.

Invisible -- Oof... That's Annoying

Jindabyne -- Self-righteous Boring Drivel

Little Britain (Season 1) -- Wow... Innovative Comedy.

Little Britain (Season 2) -- Repetitive, but Quirky

Little Britain (Season 3) -- Still Cracks Me

Little Britian Live -- Better Live! ACK!

Planet Terror -- Oof... Wholey... Long

The Reaping -- Reap to Trash

Reign Over Me -- GOOD.... Sandler lagged...

Slings and Arrows (Season 1) -- THeater Lover's Rejoice!

Stephanie Daley -- Average... Well Acted

Surf's Up -- Catch the Wave

Two Weeks -- Depressing And Amusing

Sunday, October 28, 2007

One Morning

One Sunday morning William burst into the living room and said, "Dad! Mom! I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan."

After dinner, William's dad took him aside. "Son, I have to talk with you. Your mother and I have been married 30 years. She's a wonderful wife but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Susan is actually your half-sister, and I'm afraid you can't marry her."

William was heart-broken. After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, "Dianne said yes! We're getting married in June."

Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. "Dianne is your half-sister too, William. I'm awfully sorry about this."

William was furious! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news.

"Dad has done so much harm. I guess I'm never going to get married," he complained. "Every time I fall in love, dad tells me the girl is my half-sister."

His mother just shook her head. "Don't pay any attention to what he says, dear. He's not really your father!"

Saturday, October 27, 2007


It's raining...

We're still going.


We're not pansies.

Classic Joke

An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it!"

"Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me that he thinks you're really cute!"

Friday, October 26, 2007

Coke Bottle with Grip -- Blech!

Soo... my Diet Coke bottles have a new shape and feel to them.

They have been given a "grip" near the base of the bottle.

The grip is designed for our big meaty hands to wrap around as we live our active lifestyles.

The redesign of Coke's 20-ounce plastic bottle is the first since 1993. It does not affect glass bottles.

The new bottle features a textured, contour grip molded with an embossed Coca-Cola logo and Coke's signature "dynamic ribbon."

The design replaces the plainer, ridged sidewalls on the current bottle.

I am not a proponent of said grips.

When I am out at a bar and I have a bottle of beer, I do not hold the beer from the base of the bottle -- rather... I hold it from the top or the next.

I do this simply because if I hold the base of the bottle, the beer gets warmer... faster.

This is why I will rebel from the new grip bottles.

I will continue to hold my bottles by the lid -- usually between my pointer and middle fingers as it hangs from my hand.

I do not expect much outrage from the public, but I have to express my displeasure with this.

Actually... the new design is good for two reasons:

1. 5% less plastic will be used per bottle.
2. The caps will be smaller so it will take less turns to get to my drink.

I cannot however use the contour grip.

Thank you for listening to the ramble of a goofball Diet Coke drinker.

Thursday, October 25, 2007

Sherea Booted From Survivor China

Sherea was the most annoying 26 year old short tempered elementary teacher I have ever seen.

I am/was really, really, really glad to see her go.

She got up faster to leave than anyone else ever... and as far as I am concerned... RUNNN!!!!!!

Survivor China -- SIX Weeks in the Book

James and Denise... sitting in a tree... K-I-S-S-I-N-G. Oh my gosh... I think there is a love connection between the two. (white lunch lady with a mullet and the biggest and strongest player ever, who is also black)

Here's something fun. The two tribes have to pick two people from the opposing tribe to take into the same tribe. THat's a really cool way of mixing things up. Nothing "random" just pure strategy.

Erik is a virgin...and dope face thinks it's AWESOME!

I have decided that I think I want to hang out with Frostie. He wears a penguin t-shirt and his hat off to the side. Seriously... how can you not want to hang out with a guy who just smiles all the time.

I feel really bad about watching Courtney. She is just so absolutely thin that I can't bear looking at her. IT's almost inhuman. I want to make a joke that I expect Sally Struthers to come out to solicit money for her so that she can eat... but... alas... no Sally....

Jean Robert has been the recipient of the "Thank god we aren't eating anything." Award. I made a comment early on that he looked like he was going to have a baby... Not anymore.

Erik is still a virgin...and Jamie still thinks it's awesome.

No really... I thought Jamie would be more awesome, but the girl is allowed to talk and the producers at CBS keep showing me that she talks. Damn you CBS.

So Jamie and Peigh-Gee threw a challenge to get rid of one of the newly acquired players. I actually don't think it was all that stupid of a play.

Jamie and Peigh-Gee admit that they threw the challenge at Tribal Council and James went ballistic.

Aaron was voted out of the game because he got caught in a crappy situation. He was just plain unlucky and I feel sorry for him. Good luck Aaron...I liked ya!

My prediction for tonight? There are hyping James' possible departure too damn much, but I wouldn't be surprised if that obviousness was a ruse as well but I am going with either Sherea or Jean Robert... leaning towards Sherea, but I wouldn't be surprised if J-R goes.

Thinking about the game... I am now up FIVE players in one game and one in the other.

Here's the picks... and... remember... the parenthesis indicate when they were picked in the draft.


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Todd (4)
3. Denise (5)
4. Peigh-Gee (8)
5. James (9)
6. Erik (12)
7. Dave (13) -- Booted Week 4
8. Leslie (16) -- Booted Week 3

1. Amanda (2)
3. Jean-Robert (6)
6. Frostie (11)
7. Jamie (14)
8. Sherea (15)
5. Aaron (10) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!!
2. Ashley (3) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
4. Steve (Chicken) (7) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Amanda (4)
3. Todd (5)
4. Denise (8)
5. Peigh-Gee (9)
6. Frostie (12)
7. Jean-Robert (13)
8. Sherea (16)

1. Erik (2)
2. James (3)
3. Jamie (6)
6. Aaron (11) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!!
5. Dave (10) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
8. Leslie (15) -- BOOTED WEEK THREE!!!!
4. Ashley (7) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
7. Steve (14) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

New Harold and Kumar Poster

Thanks Shari... I am super stoked and so will be TW too!

DWTS Results... The Next Post Mortem....

"It was billed as the sexiest night ever... until... this..." Queue fake collapse of Marie footage. (Pissed off the background...)

I know I have been kidding a lot about it... but I really do think that Marie faked it last night. Go ahead... debate me... it won't change my mind. How does someone who has been performing her entire life have that continue to happen? You fake it.

Fun recap of the show... but TW and I are too busy watching Tucker act like a complete asshole by rolling around on his back like a spaz face. (funny to only two people in the world)

Hey... have I told you guys how much I love Samantha Harris... Rumor has it that she will be filling in for super retarded Elizabeth Hasselbeck this week on the View.

They just showed J-Lo singing. Wow..> DWTS is where all the big time stars are going...TW wants to see if she has a baby bump. She is wearing a huge ass shawl... yes... there has to be a baby bump under there.

First couple saved -- Sabrina and Mark (Blech)
Second couple saved -- Mel and Max (Eh)

The special dance in the middle of the show was pretty cool... at least I think so again... it mixed new and alternative-ish music with a hyped up fifties style hip hop dancing.

J-LO is on again... She's singing for two.

(Editor's note) We caught up with some fast forwarding so we are waiting a 1/2 hour to watch the rest. The L Word is filling that gap. YAY!!! Season 4 of the L Word... on DVD today.

Ok... back to the show...

Third couple saved -- Cameron and Edyta (WOOOO HOOOOO)
Fourth couple saved -- Jennie and Derek (YAYAYAYAYA)
Fifth couple saved -- Marie and Jonathan
Sixth couple saved -- Julianne and Helio

Bottom Two includes Mark & Kym & Jane and Tony

Soo.... Mark and Kym were booted... He was the least talented of them... and should have gone... but I am sad to see Kym go... not Mark... but Kym.

Tuesday, October 23, 2007


For those of you that are nerds like me...

Remember Chemistry... and what a mole is?

10 to the 23 power or something?

Well...Today is 10-23... International MOLE Day.

Kick ass... I love moles...

Dancing With the Stars -- Week 5 is Here? HOLY CRAP!

We are at the halfway point. Holy crap... I am distracted... and then... Tom yells... "LLIIIIIIVEEE" and I am now happy and I know I am in the hizzouse.

It is Latin night and there is the Samba and Rumba.... Damn... why is Flathead still in the competition...

It's the "Sexiest Night on Television..."

(Woo hoo... Samantha is still on...)

Edyta is incapable of wearing clothes with... cloth.

This week's walk of stars shows why it is really a show geared at heterosexual men... holy smokes. TW cannot believe the sexiness of them.

They did Marie first... thank god they got one of the two least sexy people over with and done right away. Marie has some serious fans. They are all 500 hundred pound Mormon women... no wonder she wears dresses like that....Aside from having horrible music... the dance was just plain terrible... it kind of reminded me of that first porn movie I saw when I was 13.. (not really... I just wanted to put the word porn in my blog so that random people will find this blog when they do a search for Marie Osmond and porn.) Marie really enjoys her dance...

HOLY CRAP!!!!!!!!!!!! She passed out... They went to commercial and TW and I were genuinely concerned.

They came back from commercial and is "fine." She stops breathing when she gets winded... interesting... she could have pulled the dead mom card... but she decided to pass out.

Jane Seymour's up and probably pissed that Marie topped the Dead Mother card. Jane is still so elegant and she gets crappy music to dance to. Do I feel bad for Jane or Tony? Her dance was just a bunch of three steps and then poses... boring and dumb. Her figure though for her age is incredible...

YES!!!!!!!!!! Kym Johnson is wearing one of my all time favorite childhood/teenage fantasies... Jeannie from I Dream of Jeannie! Ooof... the video package failed early... the beauties of live television kids... I hate liking Mark Cuban's dance... but he was right... fun is more entertaining sometimes... he needs some help technically... but he is fun... and There was also ... KYM.

Soooo... we are actually watching this episode live... sooo... I learned that fire chiefs take Plavix... I hope he talked to his doctor first. If you have signs of confusion... you should stop taking the medicine.

I am also impressed with how Tucker can lick certain parts of his body... with such ease... there are some benefits to being a dog I suppose... and one with a long body like his.

I refuse to comment about Sabrina... (Flathead)... I abhor her. I still think it's unfair... and her interviews suck nuts. I hope a cheetah breaks into the studio and eats her... since two other major things have gone wrong... why can't this?

What the hell is Florence Henderson doing there?

Jennie Garth forgot to wear cloth with her dress as well... her interview was cute and I am starting to think that I might end up rooting for her... how you can't like her... I have no idea.... Let's see what her scores are... Bruno thinks that she ran out of Puff... huh? Len rocks..... just because he supports Jennie.

This commercial reminds me why I don't watch Private Practice... it's stupid.

Was that innuendo (an Italian suppository -- ha ha... oldie but goodie) between Helio and Julianne Hough? Are they really romantically involved? Nah... but the dance is awesome... as normal... She is so talented and gets all the right partners... I thought it was absolutely awesome... let's see what the judges have to say... I have to really stop liking my favorite dancers... it's a killer to the judges. I can't deal with this... Helio is my favorite... possibly... because he is funny and Jullianne rules. ROBBED!!!!!!!!!


WOW... that's a Stephen Poltz song on the Jeep Grand Cherokee commercial. I love that guy! No one knows who he is but TW and me... but he's pretty cool. (

Mel B is up... she is sick.. Maks is funny. SPICE GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! They all aged so horrible except Posh but she has the worst hair style... so she can suck it. They are dancing to a Spice Girls song. I didn't know this...and I am proud of that fact... muh demoted (I finally slipped it in) knew that. I can like her dancing...but I don't have to like her. Good dance... but I still tihnk it is slightly unfair that she is in the competition...

EDYTA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Camerin (Cameron) who? WOW... That dance was amazing...IT WASN'T A LIFT! (it would have been if it was Flathead...)

Sooo... say bye bye to Jane...

Monday, October 22, 2007


Fuck you whoever stole my Rutgers magnet from my car.

Fuck you.

Good Picture

This is a real picture -- My face actually looks like that!

I look like I was photoshopped in!

Highlights of Trip to Central New York

Sooo... two weekends ago, muh wife and I made a nice long weekend trip to Central New York to see her college and go to the Rutgers/Syracuse game.

The weekend started with a tour of TW's college -- Colgate. I was exposed to the locations of where she had many "drunken" (hard to believe since she is perfect -- even in demoted status" evenings and where she ate pizza late at night with friends and where she would study and read for 10 hour sessions.

As many of you know, I graduated with a degree in history. During the tour (she was a tour guide in college), muh wife pointed to a building and said... "That building has historical significance." and then... tried to walk away. I didn't know what happened... you just don't tell someone that graduated with a history degree that something has historical significance and walk away. I called her on it and she got embarrassed. She forgot and tried to pass it off. It was cute. The building is below.

The tour was awesome and I enjoyed how much it made her happy to show me everything and how happy it made her to see all of her memories come flooding back.

That night, we went to a hockey game -- the top sport at Colgate. They had the pep band playing and townies all over the place. I couldn't believe that there was that much excitement and over hockey! Take a lookie lookie.

We crashed out at a local inn and made our way to Syracuse for the 12:00 game the next morning. We noticed the day before and for the entire ride up that there were more "Subway" sandwich shops than subway cars in New York City. Fascinating how some franchises just dominate some areas.

The game was fun and Rutgers won... but the highlight of the game was sitting near my RU hero's family. Brian Leonard. Here's a picture of the family. Notice the torn game worn jerseys that had grass stains and the likes.

After the game, we checked into our hotel and then went out to Dinosaur -- a barbecue joint recommended to us by SZG. It was worth the 1.5 hour wait. Thanks SZG. The best part was hearing my dainty wife order the "Big Ass Pork Plate." Hee hee.

After that, we walked over to a bar also recommended by SZG. We enjoyed a beer and realized that the bar was filled with people going to the Tori Amos concert next door. Tori Amos fans are a rare breed and watching them interact with each other was like being a voyeur. There were people who travelled from Norway to see her and someone was there from ENgland. She's got her fans... lots of them.

Sleep came next and the 5 hour ride home.

Why was it so long?

We stopped at Hot Dog Johnny's. I love that place and not once... did I think of Steakbellie ...

Sunday, October 21, 2007

BBQ weiners

A old man was cooking some burgers on his BBQ when his wife bent over to pick up something.

"Jeez, I think your butt is actually bigger than the BBQ!" said the man.

His wife choose to ignore him, and went about her business.

A few minutes later she felt something touching her rear, and it was her husband holding a tape measure.

"Wow, I was right, your butt IS wider than the BBQ."

Again, she choose to ignore his crude comments.

A few hours later they were both in bed, and the man started making advances.

"Hey honey, what do you say we slip in a little lovin before nodding off?"

"George, if you think I'm going to fire up this big BBQ just to roast one little weiner, you can forget it!"

Saturday, October 20, 2007



I still have joy today.

Priest Joke

So this Catholic priest is hearing confessions and he suddenly gets overwhelmed by the need to go to the bathroom.

He runs out of the confessional, sees the janitor and says "Hey, you gotta cover for me" and sends the janitor in to hear confessions.

So the janitor goes in and is siting there in the dark when a man comes in and starts to confess his sins. He says "Father, I received a blow job from a woman I am not married to".

The janitor isn't even Catholic and doesn't know what to give as penance so he steps out of the confessional and sees an alter boy. He runs over to him and says "Hey, what does the priest usually give for a blow job?"

The alter boy looks at him a little funny and says..."A Snickers bar and a pat on the head?"

Friday, October 19, 2007

Hell Yeah!! Rutgers Wins Over #2 Ranked USF

Even with three costly turnovers, Rutgers pulled off another Thursday night special last night and dropped University of South Florida.

Here's some of the highlights:

1. Rutgers faked a punt and Ito threw a 30+ yard pass (WHAT?!?!?!)
2. Rutgers faked (we think) a field goal for a touchdown pass (WHAT?!?!?!?)
3. Ito's game winning field goal was on a path to go ten yards to the left when all of a sudden, it hooked to the right and between the uprights. We all groaned and then mugged each other.

I am still pumped up... it's 5:30 in the morning and for the love of goodness... I am up and I can't sleep.

I am STILL pumped. There was such an awesome vibe in the stadium again.
I really think that we should play all games on Thursday nights on ESPN.

Here's some video I took of Rutgers scoring a touchdown in front of us.

Oh my goodness... this is a season saving win... West Virginia is next... and no matter what happens... South Florida losing was totally worth it.

See you later kids!

Aaron Voted Out -- Survivor China

I can't believe that I am sitting here so early in the morning after going to bed so frigging late.

But... alas... Aaron was voted out of the game and was a true victim of circumstance.

Sorry Aaron... I liked you.

Good luck.

Thursday, October 18, 2007

Survivor Week 5 Tonight!

Sooo...for those of you that I talk about Survivor with... please don't say anything to me until you know I have seen it. With the RU/SFU game tonight and some fun plans for tomorrow...we probably won't watch it until Saturday... soo... yeah... keep it to a whispah (wow... only 15 people in the world would understand that last line and I haven't talked to any of them in 20+ years.)

Courtney has one of the greatest eye rolls... ever. Her eyes are the size of her body.

That sucks poop... one of the tribes discovered that their rice has mold on it. That has to just plain suck in a world without food.

The first challenge required the contestants to use giant chopsticks to move lit balls into a bin. Mwah ha ha ha ha ha Jeff said "Fireballs" a bunch of times. That really cracked me up. Because I am 7.

MULLLLEEETTTTT (I am down to only one mullet this week... I sort of swear....)

The winning tribe in the reward challenge set off fireworks... Fireworks in China...? Awesome.

Sherea is finally talking and I can't believe that a woman that short of a temper is an elementary school teacher. She is whiny and annoying. She is also one of the laziest people I have ever seen. Do any of these people ever watch the show? Seriously. How many lazy people have ever won Survivor? Someone give me one example and I'll never speak again.

This episode had a fishing family show them how to fish. THis is one of the coolest things I have ever seen on Survivor. They basically had the fish attached to a rope and threw the bird into the water and the bird caught the fish. THey had a rope tied to the bird's throat so that it wouldn't swallow the fish. They then took the fish from the bird's mouth/throat and eat it. Frigging awesome.

"A lunch lady is not an expert on food. We take the chicken nuggets out of the freezer and give them to the kids." Mullet covered lunch lady said that. Made me giggle.

Dave was voted out from the game even though he was the hardest worker because he forgot about the social aspect of the game.

Here is my prediction for the end... I totally think Amanda is totally going to win this thing. I am comparing her and her editing just like Danni from Guatemala.

My prediction for tonight? I am going with either Sherea or Aaron... leaning towards Sherea, but I wouldn't be surprised if Aaron goes.

Thinking about the game... I am now up FOUR players in one game and tied in the other.

Here's the picks... and... remember... the parenthesis indicate when they were picked in the draft.


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Todd (4)
3. Denise (5)
4. Peigh-Gee (8)
5. James (9)
6. Erik (12)
7. Dave (13) -- Booted Week 4
8. Leslie (16) -- Booted Week 3

1. Amanda (2)
3. Jean-Robert (6)
5. Aaron (10)
6. Frostie (11)
7. Jamie (14)
8. Sherea (15)
2. Ashley (3) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
4. Steve (Chicken) (7) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Amanda (4)
3. Todd (5)
4. Denise (8)
5. Peigh-Gee (9)
6. Frostie (12)
7. Jean-Robert (13)
8. Sherea (16)

1. Erik (2)
2. James (3)
3. Jamie (6)
6. Aaron (11)
5. Dave (10) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
8. Leslie (15) -- BOOTED WEEK THREE!!!!
4. Ashley (7) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
7. Steve (14) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!

Wednesday, October 17, 2007

Staph Infections Suck

Apparently... AIDS isn't that big of a problem.

Staph Fatalities May Exceed AIDS Deaths

CHICAGO (AP) — More than 90,000 Americans get potentially deadly infections each year from a drug-resistant staph "superbug," the government reported in its first overall estimate of invasive disease caused by the germ.

Deaths tied to these infections may exceed those caused by AIDS, said one public health expert commenting on the new study. Tuesdays report shows just how far one form of the staph germ has spread beyond its traditional hospital setting.

The overall incidence rate was about 32 invasive infections per 100,000 people. That's an "astounding" figure, said an editorial in Wednesday's Journal of the American Medical Association, which published the study.

Most drug-resistant staph cases are mild skin infections. But this study focused on invasive infections — those that enter the bloodstream or destroy flesh and can turn deadly.

Researchers found that only about one-quarter involved hospitalized patients. However, more than half were in the health care system — people who had recently had surgery or were on kidney dialysis, for example. Open wounds and exposure to medical equipment are major ways the bug spreads.

In recent years, the resistant germ has become more common in hospitals and it has been spreading through prisons, gyms and locker rooms, and in poor urban neighborhoods.

The new study offers the broadest look yet at the pervasiveness of the most severe infections caused by the bug, called methicillin-resistant Staphylococcus aureus, or MRSA. These bacteria can be carried by healthy people, living on their skin or in their noses.

An invasive form of the disease is being blamed for the death Monday of a 17-year-old Virginia high school senior. Doctors said the germ had spread to his kidneys, liver, lungs and muscles around his heart.

The researchers' estimates are extrapolated from 2005 surveillance data from nine mostly urban regions considered representative of the country. There were 5,287 invasive infections reported that year in people living in those regions, which would translate to an estimated 94,360 cases nationally, the researchers said.

Most cases were life-threatening bloodstream infections. However, about 10 percent involved so-called flesh-eating disease, according to the study led by researchers at the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

There were 988 reported deaths among infected people in the study, for a rate of 6.3 per 100,000. That would translate to 18,650 deaths annually, although the researchers don't know if MRSA was the cause in all cases.

If these deaths all were related to staph infections, the total would exceed other better-known causes of death including AIDS — which killed an estimated 17,011 Americans in 2005 — said Dr. Elizabeth Bancroft of the Los Angeles County Health Department, the editorial author.

The results underscore the need for better prevention measures. That includes curbing the overuse of antibiotics and improving hand-washing and other hygiene procedures among hospital workers, said the CDC's Dr. Scott Fridkin, a study co-author.

Some hospitals have drastically cut infections by first isolating new patients until they are screened for MRSA.

The bacteria don't respond to penicillin-related antibiotics once commonly used to treat them, partly because of overuse. They can be treated with other drugs but health officials worry that their overuse could cause the germ to become resistant to those, too.

A survey earlier this year suggested that MRSA infections, including noninvasive mild forms, affect 46 out of every 1,000 U.S. hospital and nursing home patients — or as many as 5 percent. These patients are vulnerable because of open wounds and invasive medical equipment that can help the germ spread.

Dr. Buddy Creech, an infectious disease specialist at Vanderbilt University, said the JAMA study emphasizes the broad scope of the drug-resistant staph "epidemic," and highlights the need for a vaccine, which he called "the holy grail of staphylococcal research."

The regions studied were: the Atlanta metropolitan area; Baltimore, Connecticut; Davidson County, Tenn.; the Denver metropolitan area; Monroe County, NY; the Portland, Ore. metropolitan area; Ramsey County, Minn.; and the San Francisco metropolitan area.

DWTS RESULTS!!!! Post Mortem....

Ok.... so here I am... watching the DWTS result show with my demoted wife. We are beginning it at 9:45 pm... I think we will be close to 10 when we finish watching... This hour is just plain filled with crap...but... I am frigging hooked on it.


Camreron and Edyta's no dress are the showcase dance of the week. Woo hoo...

Gloria Estafan didn't show up... so we were forced... to ummm... fast forward... through the Dancing With the Stars singers... they are the reason the show isn't perfect... I really think they are just not as talented as Bert and Ernie....

First couple saved... Flathead and Mark (BLECH!!!!!!!)
Second couple saved... Cameron and Edyta (YAY!!!!!!)

Jimmy Kimmel is pulling another sketch... these have been hilarious... I love Guillermo his parking lot attendant. They are perfect foils for each other.

Oh goodie... an interview with Sabrina... Eat poop Sabrina...

Sooo... we watched the special dance piece in the middle (Stars of Dance) and wow... I really liked it. It was weird and reminded me of a psychedelic Thriller video on LSD. IT reminded me of how much I like performers... Very cool.

WAYNE NEWTON IS BACK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! He's singing... phew...

Third Couple Saved... Mark and Kym... WHAT? The lowest score is not in the bottom two? WHo the hell likes Mark to vote for him.

First Couple Named to be in the Bottom Two -- Floyd and Karina... Ha ha ha... told ya so.

Fourth Couple Saved... Jennie and Derek
Fifth Couple Saved... Helio and Julianne
Sixth Couple Saved... Marie and Jonathan
Seventh Couple Saved... Jane and Tony

Bottom Two -- Mel and Max & Floyd and Karina

Floyd and Karina go bye bye...

Bye bye... I called it.

Tuesday, October 16, 2007


JESUS! How many frigging heroes are there?

Did we realy need 1000000 more?

Dancing With the Stars -- Week ? Oh... I Forget!

Pardon my french, but thank fucking god that Samantha Harris is back. She looks so lovely... She has new mom a cocktail dress... you can envision my extreme excitement.

When... Tom goes "LIIIIVE" in the beginning of the show I know that I am in the house.

Holy crap... my first thoughts... Kym's dress makes her ass look huge... Sabrina still looks like poo... Mark Cuban looks like he is in so much pain...AND... just when I thought that Edyta's dress couldn't get skimpier and more amazing... they got even more... skimpy and how the hell does it stay on her body...

Mark... as much as I don't like him... continues to get better each week... damn... I don't think he'll win... but he is doing better.

Sabrina... I can't stand her still...soooo... it has been nagging me about what she reminds me of... I say "what" on purpose. I remember as a child reading the Wonderful Wizard of Oz and there were characters in the book/books called Flatheads. Their heads were flat and they carried their brains around in jars. I have thought of those characters for my entire life and Sabrina makes me feel that way... 10? 10? 10? Fuck you ABC.

Jane Seymour is pulling the DEAD MOM card for the second week in a row. (ok... ABC is pulling it for her... ) Shit... this time... she loves to paint... and never mentions her mom once... Good for her... but she and Tony dance with paint on their feet. Isn't that fun? For those of you who watched it? I KNEW THEY DID A LIFT!!!... but my wife says... NOOO... Bull Honky!!! Lift! LIFT! LIFT!!!! But... alas... she is graceful and wonderful.

I was out to dinner and I spoke about the show with the woman of the group and we seemed to talk more about the dancers than we did the famous people... so I ask... What is the definition of a star? and far can you stretch it?

Floyd... I thought he would do better, but he has been leaving me lacking. He's a big cry baby after watching this week's interviews. I am disappointed.. that he isn't doing better and he actually seems like someone who cares... but he is pig headed and doesn't full listen and appreciate his partner. Their dance... much to the fault of the music was stale and rough... I feel as though he's always hunched over. He's trying. End of story. I wish his scores could be be reflective of this. One thing that was great though was that he threatened the judges to give him better scores... and I think it work with the "gay?" judge...

Mel B is up. Boring. Vote her off so she can devote more time to her awesome music... You know you wanna be a singer... go for it...away... The best part of her dance was the fact that the song was a Kelly Clarkson song. Not her week.

I think Carrie Ann is on her period. (I tried this one out with one of my fun feminist friends... and she responded with... If I didn't agree, I'd be offended.) See? I was right.

Did Cameron dance? I was looking at Edyta and her lack of a dress the whole time...

Marie Osmond is just hovering along and I wouldn't be surprised if she makes it to the final three, not because of the skills she has but because of the power of the Mormons!!! GO MORMONS!!!!

My opinions of Floyd are changing... he keeps yawning and looks bored and like an asshole...

Is Jennie Garth the only "normal" star? She seems just so regular. Oh well... As they say in Us Magazine... Stars are People TOO!!!! She just dedicated the dance to her husband... TW thinks that is a kiss of death... nope... She was awesome... I like her and Helio the best. "I love Lenny" Thank you Jennie for that!

Last and not least is Helio and Julianne's dress... and I think Julianne is wearing a dress that is thirteen sizes too small. Helio isn't perfect.... but the dance looked perfect to me. Carrie Ann said something nice... "Helio...when you dance, you make me happy to be alive." That was sweet and accurate.

Bye bye Floyd....

Monday, October 15, 2007

Stupid Fact

What is the only National Monument that is movable?

Answer to come... soooooon

Book 52 of 52 -- Faye Kellerman's The Burnt House

Faye Kellerman's The Burnt House was a fun return to two of my favorite murder mystery characters Peter Decker and his wife Rina Lazarus.

The murders and the solutions are all pretty standard, but the rub with this series of books is that Peter Decker has to justify ... internally... his job with the fact that he is a converted Orthodox Jew.

He met Rina in the early books and converted for her.

All of that aside... I was so happy to see that the characters were returning as Faye was writing about other characters for awhile there.

This was just good and I like it when she sticks to what made her famous/popular.

Sunday, October 14, 2007

How to know if a man is GAY

How to know if a man is GAY

1. If you are over forty, and you have a washboard stomach, you are gay. It means you haven't sucked back enough beer with the boys and have spent the rest of your free time doing sit-ups, aerobics, and doing the Oprah diet.

2. If you have a cat, you are a Flaaaaming homo. A cat is like a dog, but gay-- it grooms itself constantly but never scratches itself, has a delicate touch except when it uses its nails, and whines to be fed And just think about how you call a dog... 'Killer, come here! I said get your ass over here, Killer!' Now think about how you call a cat. 'Bun-bun, come to daddy, snookums!' Jeeezus, you're fit to be framed, you're so gay.

3. If you suck on lollipops, Ring-Pops, baby pacifiers, or any such nonsense, rest assured, you are a Gaylord. A straight man only sucks on BBQ ribs, crab claws, raw oysters, crawfish guts, pickled pigs feet, or tits. Anything else and you are in training and undeniably a fag.

4. If you refuse to take a dump in a public bathroom or piss in a parking lot, you crave a deep homosexual relationship. A man's world is his bathroom; he defecates and urinates where he pleases.

5. If you drink anything other than regular coffee. A straight man will never be heard ordering a 'Decaf Soy Latte'. If you've put a Decaf Soy Latte to your lips, you've had a man there, too.

6. If you know more than six names of non standard colors or four different types of dessert other than ice c ream and pie, you might as well be handing out free ass passes. A real man doesn't have memory space in his brain to remember all of that crap. If you can pick out chartreuse or you know what a 'fressier' is you're gay. And if you can name ANY type of textile other than cotton or denim, you are faggadocious.

7. If you drive with both hands on the wheel, forget it, you're dying to tune a meat whistle. A man only puts both hands on the wheel to honk at a slow-ass driver or to cut the jerk off. The rest of the time he needs that hand to change the radio station, eat a hamburger, or hold his beer.

8. If you do not send this off to all the males on your email list because you are afraid of hurting their feelings then you are definitely on the verge on being a fudgepacker.

Saturday, October 13, 2007



What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I'm tired of beating around the bush. I'm a beautiful
(spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I'm articulate and classy.
I'm not from New York. I'm looking to get married to a guy who makes at
least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind
that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don't think
I'm overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could
you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around
200 - 250. But that's where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won't get
me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married
to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she's not as pretty as
I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I
get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars,
restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won't hurt my

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I'm 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east
side so plain? I've seen really 'plain jane' boring types who have
nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I've seen drop dead
gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What's the story

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows - lawyer, investment
banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they
hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for

Please hold your insults - I'm putting myself out there in an honest
way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I'm being up front
about it. I wouldn't be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn't
able to match them - in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a
nice home and hearth.

it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial

PostingID: 432279810

Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully
about your dilemma. I offer the following analysis of your predicament.
Firstly, I'm not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your
bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here's how I
see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a
crappy business deal. Here's why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you
suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring
my money. Fine, simple. But here's the rub, your looks will fade and my
money will likely continue into fact, it is very likely
that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won't
be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning
asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation
accelerates! Let me explain, you're 25 now and will likely stay pretty
hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in
earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy
and hold...hence the rub...marriage. It doesn't make good business sense
to "buy you" (which is what you're asking) so I'd rather lease. In case
you think I'm being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were
to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It's
as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So,
I wonder why a girl as "articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful"
as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to
believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K
hasn't found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then
we wouldn't need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you're going about it the right way.
Classic "pump and dump."
I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of
lease, let me know.

Friday, October 12, 2007


We're in central New york touring demoted TW's college and then heading over to Syracuse to see Rutgers play them tomorrow.

Look for me on MSG.

I'll be in the end zone ... Wearing red.

Thursday, October 11, 2007


NICE SHIRT!!!!!!!!!!

A-Rod in the Playoffs -- A Lesson in Futility

In A-Rod's last 59 post season at bats, there were 38 base runners.

How many of these men has he batted in in the last 59 post season at bats?


Survivor China -- A Month's Worth of Tribal Councils


So... as I was watching the recap... I was reminded about Dave's obnoxiousness and I swear he threw the challenge to get rid of Ashley...but that was two weeks ago by the time you read this... sooo... IIIIIII digress....

Jean Robert is a snoring spooner...and touchy feely... God I think he's nasty and awesome.

(side note... Arod has been up three times so far and has no hits and two walks... so he is 0-1)

(side note #2... Tucker is trying to catch a fly right now. What would he ... MUUULLLLEEEETTTTT!!!!! ... do if he caught it?)

This season is really good.'s really good...

James had the line of the night -- "Am I the only one who went to Barnes and Noble before coming out here?" He said this when it came to cooking and fishing since everyone else seemed like an idiot in the woods.

"Our first round is Women ON Women." Does Jeff think about what he says before he says it...


James confuses me... he is so big... so muscular... so young... and soooo balding...

mmmmmmmmmmmuuuuuuuullllllllllllllllllllllleeeeeetttttttttttttttt (tiny comment because she hurt herself...)

So... Jeff did the same "Open in Private" slow read thing to the super religious person... now... would he do that to an atheist?

There was an exchange between James and Jean-Robert that showed me that James is a disgusting pig... even though he seems like such a teddy bear right now.

One of the things that makes me happy about this season is that Probst isn't wearing as many stupid hats.

I hate the phrase "Keeping it Real." Really? Keeping it real? Really?

My prediction for tonight? I am going with Dave for the second week in a row. Jean-Robert if it's the other team.

Thinking about the game... I am now up three players in one game and two in the other.

Here's the picks... and... remember... the parenthesis indicate when they were picked in the draft.


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Todd (4)
3. Denise (5)
4. Peigh-Gee (8)
5. James (9)
6. Erik (12)
7. Dave (13)
8. Leslie (16) -- Booted Week 3

1. Amanda (2)
3. Jean-Robert (6)
5. Aaron (10)
6. Frostie (11)
7. Jamie (14)
8. Sherea (15)
2. Ashley (3) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
4. Steve (Chicken) (7) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Amanda (4)
3. Todd (5)
4. Denise (8)
5. Peigh-Gee (9)
6. Frostie (12)
7. Jean-Robert (13)
8. Sherea (16)

1. Erik (2)
2. James (3)
3. Jamie (6)
5. Dave (10)
6. Aaron (11)
8. Leslie (15) -- BOOTED WEEK THREE!!!!
4. Ashley (7) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
7. Steve (14) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!

Wednesday, October 10, 2007

I Demote Muh Wife....

... and she falls in love with the PIE MAKER on Pushing Daisies.


Three years... over...

ALl because of a cute pie maker... not because she was demoted.


I love my bride... and we have been married for three years...

BUT SHE IS DEMOTED!!!!!!!!!!!!


Just in case you were wondering... the Raiderettes' team... the Oakland Raiders ... are in first place of the AFC West.

Go Raiders.

Book 51 of 52 -- Stephen Frey's The Fourth Order

The Fourth Order was a book by one of my favorite New Jersey native sons - Stephen Frey.

He isn't a top named author and you won't find his books on the New York Times bestseller lists anymore.

In fact, he doesn't even have a website so I am not sure how you find out he has new books coming out in this new digital world.

I happened to see someone reading it on the train...went to the library and it was available!

His books ALWAYS follow a similar plotline yet I am intrigued each time I read one. It goes as follows:

1. Find a sap that is a super smart and great fella and put him in the race or threat of his life.

2. Have this poor sap do this as the major equity traders in the world try to bring him or her down.

3. Have the sap fight fight fight and bring the big super mean men down.

4. End of story... everyone is happy a doodle.

Ladies and gentlemen... welcome to the Fourth Order.

He fights fights fights and brings the man(men) down.

Everyone is almost happy a doodle.

Good enough fluff and insight into the financial world, but not enough to suggest reading this book as your first Stephen Frey book.

Next up... Faye Kellerman's The Burnt House.

Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Dancing With The Stars Week 3 Boot

First of all...

God I miss you Samantha...

Second of all...
First Saved -- Jane and Tony (No Shit... make her sweat for using the dead mother excuse)
Second Saved -- Jenni and Derek (Yay)
Third Saved -- Marie and Jonathan (Milk Toast Yay)
Fourth Saved -- Mel and Max (All women so far)
Fifth Saved -- Sabrina and Mark (DIE)
Sixth Saved -- Cameron and Edyta (Oops... didn't get the bottom too)
Seventh Saved -- Helio and Julianne (THANK FRIGGING GOD)
Eighth Saved -- Mark and Kym (oof... good for Kym... Mark can pass on)

Bottom Two (Wayne and Cheryl) & (Floyd and Karina)

Good riddance... (you like how I can draw pictures threw people's faces? It's frigging awesome.)

Happy Anniversary to Us

Three years today.

Who said we couldn't make it?

No one I know.

They may feel sorry for Tangentwoman, but they knew we would make it.


Love ya TW...

It still seems like yesterday....

Dancing With the Stars -- Week 3 -- Super Mean Edition

I am feeling a lot of hate for the show today... perhaps it is the fact that the Yankees are already losing or that the Scarlet Knights are actually breaking my heart this year... I don't know.

I still hate Sabrina. She looks like a broken cougar. Mark is still an effeminate asshole... and... I still think it is TOTALLY UNFAIR that she is allowed to compete. She studied dance in college. Blech. Jerkface asswipe. Her face is the size of a billboard... Len called one of her moves as a Free Willy move. No comment by me, but it is important to note that she is the fattest contestant.

I am playing MOnopoly Here and Now as we watch... I just got a Community Chest and I won dancing lessons from a "professional dancer" and I had to pay $500,000. That seems coincidental to me... NOT IRONIC.

Ohhh... Cameron... you are so dreamy. Both Tangent Woman and I are jealous that you get to dance with Edyta. The singing during their song was actually pretty good.... Cameron is getting better.

Crap... I saw him... but I tried to ignore him... Drew is still filling in.

Cuban kind of hit Kym in the face! NOOOOOO..... argh. So... I paused Mark and Kym so that I could watch the Abreu pop out with bases loaded (shit) and I froze the DVR ... Mark needs some help... he looks like his cheeks threw up hair. Thank goodness that he shaved it off. I think I just saw Kym's entire spinal column. Not that I am complaining... but it popped out... I almost... and I mean... ALMOST feel bad for him... He looks like he is so much pain.

OOOOHHH!!!! Hannna Montana will be on tomorrow! (And Seal)

27 minutes into the episode... Drew is still on... Please come back Samantha... I don't care if I have to watch you nurse the whole episode.

Jennie!!!! She needs a hug... Aside from the poor misstep from last week... she still has laryngitis... very sultry... for an old lady. The dance seemed so good. "Sharp and tangy... like a _____" Go ahead... fill in the blank of what Len said... "Pickle." Weird British people...

Mel B... Hey... did you hear that the Spice Girls sold out Wembly Stadium in 38 seconds!?!?! What? You are shocked? Or are you more surprised that the SPICE GIRLS ARE BACK? That was one of the WORST opening interviews. Ok... I don't think I have addressed tattoos yet... Tattoos are fine, but when you are trying to look classy... the big shoulder tattoo just doesn't fit. Maxim has no hair anywhere... THey did this whole arm thing that made me want to make vomits... oof... wow... how do they move so fast? Oh right... she has experience in this... NOT FAIR.

(If this comes down to Mel B and Sabrina... I am never watching again... unless the girls are all hot. :-P )

OH MY GOD WAYNE. How can you feel bad if he loses? He has a ranch with 75 Arabian horses... He has a fake ponytail... now if only my uncle in law could figure out the fake hair thing. Half way through... no finger guns... dammit... I WANT FINGER GUNS...All the way through... NO FINGER GUNS?!?!?!?!? Wow... that audience was soooo quiet for this dance... it was awkward and he really needs to go home. Carrie Ann couldn't come up with any compliments... except for his "look." What does that tell you? WHat a bunch of bull shit... they gave him an 18.

Floyd... he is not afraid to give himself some compliments... he must be a world champion boxer. We thought it was good in the middle but something in the beginning and the end was awkward... but the judges seem to like it... Bruno wants him to do so much better... and... so ... do... I...

One hour into the show... Drew is still on... trip...fall... do something drastic.

Oh Jane... there goes the sympathy card. You can only use it this week. If you use it next week, I will be royally miffed... Get it? Royally. :) She is lovely and she is wearing a horrible wig. Tangent Woman has announced that Tony is her favorite male dancer. Just in case any of you were wondering. I know I wasn't... The judges loved Jane... no duh... she could have pooped on the floor and she would have gotten good scores. Jane's mom died too early... she should have saved it for the semi finals.

(I have been IMing with LA during the show and I love that two grown up liberal whiteys are talking about who deserves our votes more.)

Helio is still infectious. Combine that with Julianne's cuteness and damn... the best DWTS couple in years... in terms of personality... I loved the dance... but the judges were so mean to him... Julianne is the best choreographer... period... Tough love I suppose. At least he finished fourth in his race this week. They gave him 3 8's. They were that mean and gave him 24? Unreal.

Marie is milk toast...bbbbbbbboooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrriiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg. Tonight, she looked a little Delta Burkish.

Here's what I want...

Vote out Wayne or Sabrina...

Here's what might happen...

Bye Bye Cameron or Wayne....

Monday, October 08, 2007

For a Holiday...

... there are more cars in the parking lot than any other day.


Book 50 of 52 -- Khaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns

I think that I am supposed to like this book.

I am a white liberal and I am supposed to read and care about all things oppressive in other countries.

A Thousand Splendid Suns is the follow up to the Kite Runner by Khaled Hosseini, and it is also about Afghanistan.

I can't tell you why I was disappointed with this book, but I was extremely disappointed.

It made an overbearing effort to make me feel bad for all of the characters... but not angry at the bad guys.

So... I did a search on google and came up with this paragraph written by a book reviewer and it is pretty accurate with how I feel.

"When I was actively reading it, the pages kept turning, and more than once I found myself foregoing food or sleep temporarily to get in just one more chapter. When I had put it down, however, I felt no particular compulsion to pick it back up again. It's a good book, and a relatively well-written one, but it's not a great book. Enjoyable without leaving a lasting impression." Robert P. Beveridge's review

I am pretty sure that there a few of you that are my friends that will love this book, especially if you liked the first one... but I can't... in good conscience recommend this book.

Sunday, October 07, 2007

Saturday, October 06, 2007

Breakfast on the Farm

A little boy comes down to breakfast. Since his family lives on a farm, his mother asks if he has done his chores. 'Not yet,' said the little boy. His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.

Well, he's a little ticked, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.

'How come I don't get any eggs and bacon? Why don't I have any milk in my cereal?' he asks.

'Well,' his mother says, 'I saw you kick a chicken, so you don't get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don't get any bacon for a week either. ! I also saw you kick the cow, so for a week you aren't getting any milk.'

Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the cat halfway across the kitchen.

The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says 'Are you going to tell him, or should I?'

Friday, October 05, 2007

Reaper -- Milky Goodness

Sooo... I decided to try out Reaper since I heard so many good things about it...

It is extremely funny and I am enjoying it.

Ray Wise (Leland Palmer fame) is incredibly the Devil!

My three favorite lines from Tuesday's show were...

You need a doctor!!! (puts down corresponding shots) Dr. Yeager...Dr. Cuervo...Dr. Captain Morgan...he has two titles.

Guy 1: Really?
Guy 2: Absosmurfly.

Guy 1: What do we do?
Guy 2: We cowboy up and fight the bastard and return him where he belongs.
(Loud crash and flash)
Guy 3: Or... we could run like little girls... that's my vote.

What makes it so fun is that it seems like realish dialogue between guy friends... and yet... the show is written by two women...


Three Word Movie Reviews

Auto Focus -- Campy Decent... Adult

Away From Her -- Slow... Powerful... Moving

Black Book -- Overblown but Interesting

Bug -- Interesting...Dark... Different

Closure -- Surprisingly Gritty... Average

Condemned -- Brainless Battle Royale

Dexter (Season One) -- Wow!!! Great Show

D.O.A. Dead On Arrival -- Stupid Campy Fun

Flying Scotsman -- Fantastic Biopic Flick

Gracie -- Standard Rocky-ish Film

Jack of All Trades (Complete Series) -- Dumb, But Endearing

Joy Ride -- Good Taut Fun

The Lives of Others -- Quality.... Who's There????

Lucky You -- Unlucky Me....Stupid

Next -- Silly Ridiculous Goofiness

Private Fears in Public Places -- Took Forever... Slow

Severance -- Funny Slasher Film

Slings & Arrows (Season 1) -- Smooch! Quality Stuff

Snow Cake -- Great Acting.... Decent

The TV Set -- Cute... Sigourney... ROCKS!

The Valet -- So Fun! Cute

We Are Marshall -- We Are Inspirational

You Kill Me -- Ouch! That's Good

Thursday, October 04, 2007

Bye Bye Leslie....

I drew this-ish.

See ya Leslie ....

I know I won't miss you....

Kid Nation Part 2

Did anyone else love how they made Taylor cry last night?

I am still loving it.

She is 8 or 9 years old and already a turd.

"Well... I am a beauty pageant winner... so that makes me a queen..." or something to that effect.


Crying turd...

Survivor China -- Three Weeks Already?

I can't stop yelling "Mullet!!!!" whenever Denise the lunch lady is on.

Aaron tackled both Sherea and Jamie.... at the same time... a bit excessive but fun...

"Everybody pulling everybody's clothes off!" Never has a statement so been so accurate on Survivor. It was a clothes removal free for all...

How is the person named Frostie... not the Gay one? Seriously... Todd is the gay one... not a guy named Frostie... Later in the episode... Jeff actually said... "Frostie bringing up the rear."

Jeff handed a tube to Dpoey Dreamer Blonde Jamie that said "Open in Private"... Jeff pointed to it and slowly said.. "Jamie, this says OPEN IN PRIVATE." Do you think that he would have done that to any of the other players? I highly doubt that.

I don't view most super religious people as crazy... but Leslie is crazy... and happens to be religious...

Dave is a former model... they told us that about 88 times... We had to look up what he does now... bartender... they should just tell us that.

Remember last week when I said that Janie was my favorite because she forgot her bra? I have heard her speak and think and explain... and she is no longer my favorite... she is a momo....

Ashley was voted out... does that mean her boobs are voted out as well? Each is the size of Mini Me.

My prediction for tonight? Dave gets the boot...since he is an asshole... If it's the other team... Leslie... just because she is religious.

Thinking about the game... I am now up two players in BOTH GAMES!!!!!

Here's the picks... and... remember... the parenthesis indicate when they were picked in the draft.


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Todd (4)
3. Denise (5)
4. Peigh-Gee (8)
5. James (9)
6. Erik (12)
7. Dave (13)
8. Leslie (16)

1. Amanda (2)
3. Jean-Robert (6)
5. Aaron (10)
6. Frostie (11)
7. Jamie (14)
8. Sherea (15)
2. Ashley (3) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
4. Steve (Chicken) (7) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Amanda (4)
3. Todd (5)
4. Denise (8)
5. Peigh-Gee (9)
6. Frostie (12)
7. Jean-Robert (13)
8. Sherea (16)

1. Erik (2)
2. James (3)
3. Jamie (6)
5. Dave (10)
6. Aaron (11)
8. Leslie (15)
4. Ashley (7) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
7. Steve (14) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!

Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Kid Nation


I still like it.

Late Night In Delaware on the Road

Last week, I wrote about my trip down to Dover.

Here's something I forgot... and it was the craziest thing of the entire trip.

I was cruising about 80 miles per hour pretty much by myself when I saw a set of police lights flashing about a mile up the road.

What did I do?

Of course... I slowed down.

I normally hate it when people do that, but come on... I was the only one on the road going about 15 miles per hour over the speed limit.

I slowed down to a respectable 55 miles per hour and was about 1/4 of a mile from the trooper.

That's when I saw the flashlight floating around the shoulder.

I figured it was a police officer or something and he jerked around his flash light.

I saw who was really swinging around the flashlight eventually and hit the brake pretty hard.

It was some crazy looking fella who kept running out into the road and there were two police officers apparently trying to subdue the crazy man.

I swerved over to the passenger lane and missed the strange man by about 25 feet.

That was a crazy feeling at 4:30 in the morning.

Tuesday, October 02, 2007

Dancing With the Stars Week 2 Boot....

Hooray... Helio and Julianne were chosen to the do encore dance. Julianne rocks and Helio is a handsome Roberto Benigni...

Jane Seymour is not on because her mom passed away. Oh boy... She is announced by Tom as safe and has told DwtS that she will remain in the show as a tribute to her mother... the main reason she did the show to begin with. That was so sweet and nice.

Helio is the second contestant to remain in the competition.

Queen Latifah performs and I take advantage of my DVR's fast forward function.

Drew interviews... the two lowest scores... Mark Cuban and do they feel? Of course they hope that America votes for them and saves them... Wayne pulls the sympathy card and sends out a tribute to Jane.

The third couple to be saved? Mel and Max

The fourth couple to be saved? Sabrina and Mark

Jimmy and Guillermo are back and not dancing this year... so they are going "Behind the Scenes"

The fifth couple to be saved? Mark and Kym (This is only good to me because I really like Kym

Six Couples to Go... who's going home?

The sixth couple to be saved? Johnny and Marie Good for her...

The seventh couple to be saved? Floyd and Karina

The eighth couple saved? Jennie and Erick

The ninth couple saved? Cameron and Edyta

The bottom two are....

Wayne and Cheryl AND Albert and Anna

Sooooo...... the couple to get booted... is....

Albert and Anna

bye bye

Dancing With the Stars -- Week 2

I know that I won't do this every week, but here are some more of my really really really really really funny comments or nitpicky barbs about the second week.

Tom... you hyperbolic bastard. (He shall now be known as Hyperbolic Bastard or HB depending on how lazy I am)... I love you... but I should count how many times you say EVER for the season. Currently... he is harping on the fact that last week was the most exceptional starting week... EVER!

Shit... Drew Lachey is back... at least it still isn't that crap hole swollen lipped Lisa Rinna.

Oh Cheryl....what the hell is that outfit...

Kym had a super boobfest outfit and yet... Tangentwoman didn't think twice about it... she sort of expects it from Kym... as few people can wear an outfit like that.

Ha Ha Ha... Scary Spice needed an etiquette coach... Ha Ha Ha Ha...

Nope... still don't like Mark Cuban....

Poor Wayne... (I will probably say that until the last week...) AND he did the finger guns again... STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!

Sooo... as I watch Marie OSmond dance... I am reminded of a debate goin on in the world of Dancing With the Stars... What exactly is a Star? Eddie Murphy is a star but is the mother of his child reeally a star....My thought is that Marie Osmond is probably the biggest star on the show, but shouldn't star have something to do with relevance and if so... then she isn't a big star... eh... whatever... good for her... she did the Death Drop.

Even Tangentwoman can't stand Bad Hair (Albert) Reed. For a guy that handsome and chiseled, what the hell is up with that hair. He dedicated this week's dance to his dead grandfather... wow... shoot for empathy... you silly pants. That's just a cheap shot for a borderline "star." ALright... his slide down the bannister was pretty coolio.

Back to what the definition of a star is... is it sad that I think most of the dancers are bigger stars now than some of the stars....?

Julianne Hough is fabulous... HElio ain't so bad either. His good charm and laughter are STILL Infectious. We thought his dance seemed awesome... so did the judges thankfully...

Jennie almost got a concussion from her partner dropping her... Come on Jennie's partner... stupid brother of awesome Julianne.

WOOOO HOOOOO Edyta has one of her head band thingies on again... why do they make me so happy? Because... it is so weird.... almost as weird as that insance dress... which was really awesome when she was twirling... it seemed to fill with air.

So... Cameron and Floyd were fake boxing in one of those unforced pre-commercial break lead ins... and I might have said out loud... "Please stop fake boxing and 'accidentally' punch Sabrina in the face...." That made Tangentwoman guffaw.

Floyd... to us looked rigid and rough... but got lots of compliments... who knew?

Is it my imagination or has Jane Seymour aged better than anyone.... ever?

Sabrina's turn.. and yet... I am speechless... I was taught that if I have nothing positive to say... I should not say anything at all... but I can't stand her or Annoying Face. BLECH!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hip hop or not... I totally think it's unfair that she is on this show... she has way too much dance experience to be on this show. Her dancing is great... but she is a complete and total Cheetah Mo Mo.

That's it kids... Sabrina will probably go far, but I don't know if she is popular enough to win.

Monday, October 01, 2007

If I Only Had a Camera

So… on a recent Sunday morning, I was sitting at the Metropark train station on the Southbound side.

I was especially attentive on this chilly morning as I had effectively thrown my back out the day prior.

The pain was strong and I was sitting as straight up as I could making very few movements in order to not experience any pain.

I felt like I looked like Forrest Gump sitting straight up in my khaki pants with my hands on my knees talking to strange people. (If only I had some chocolates.)

I looked around and noticed that on the Northbound side was an elevator door sitting atop a concrete tower about 50 feet above the ground.

What made this elevator so amazing was that there was no platform attached to the tower.

It just floated there… like… the Twilight Zone door…

I goofily looked at it and got the attention of the person next to me, a professionally dressed woman next to me.

“That seems like the meanest handicap elevator on Earth,” I said.

She laughed.

I laughed too….

I made a funny.

Rock of Love

It came to an end last night... I am not sure I can watch the reunion show... it will be way too painful for me.

Bret picked the right girl, but possibly not the right one for him.