Tuesday, October 09, 2007

Dancing With the Stars -- Week 3 -- Super Mean Edition



I am feeling a lot of hate for the show today... perhaps it is the fact that the Yankees are already losing or that the Scarlet Knights are actually breaking my heart this year... I don't know.

I still hate Sabrina. She looks like a broken cougar. Mark is still an effeminate asshole... and... I still think it is TOTALLY UNFAIR that she is allowed to compete. She studied dance in college. Blech. Jerkface asswipe. Her face is the size of a billboard... Len called one of her moves as a Free Willy move. No comment by me, but it is important to note that she is the fattest contestant.

I am playing MOnopoly Here and Now as we watch... I just got a Community Chest and I won dancing lessons from a "professional dancer" and I had to pay $500,000. That seems coincidental to me... NOT IRONIC.

Ohhh... Cameron... you are so dreamy. Both Tangent Woman and I are jealous that you get to dance with Edyta. The singing during their song was actually pretty good.... Cameron is getting better.

Crap... I saw him... but I tried to ignore him... Drew is still filling in.

Cuban kind of hit Kym in the face! NOOOOOO..... argh. So... I paused Mark and Kym so that I could watch the Abreu pop out with bases loaded (shit) and I froze the DVR ... Mark needs some help... he looks like his cheeks threw up hair. Thank goodness that he shaved it off. I think I just saw Kym's entire spinal column. Not that I am complaining... but it popped out... I almost... and I mean... ALMOST feel bad for him... He looks like he is so much pain.

OOOOHHH!!!! Hannna Montana will be on tomorrow! (And Seal)

27 minutes into the episode... Drew is still on... Please come back Samantha... I don't care if I have to watch you nurse the whole episode.

Jennie!!!! She needs a hug... Aside from the poor misstep from last week... she still has laryngitis... very sultry... for an old lady. The dance seemed so good. "Sharp and tangy... like a _____" Go ahead... fill in the blank of what Len said... "Pickle." Weird British people...

Mel B... Hey... did you hear that the Spice Girls sold out Wembly Stadium in 38 seconds!?!?! What? You are shocked? Or are you more surprised that the SPICE GIRLS ARE BACK? That was one of the WORST opening interviews. Ok... I don't think I have addressed tattoos yet... Tattoos are fine, but when you are trying to look classy... the big shoulder tattoo just doesn't fit. Maxim has no hair anywhere... THey did this whole arm thing that made me want to make vomits... oof... wow... how do they move so fast? Oh right... she has experience in this... NOT FAIR.

(If this comes down to Mel B and Sabrina... I am never watching again... unless the girls are all hot. :-P )

OH MY GOD WAYNE. How can you feel bad if he loses? He has a ranch with 75 Arabian horses... He has a fake ponytail... now if only my uncle in law could figure out the fake hair thing. Half way through... no finger guns... dammit... I WANT FINGER GUNS...All the way through... NO FINGER GUNS?!?!?!?!? Wow... that audience was soooo quiet for this dance... it was awkward and he really needs to go home. Carrie Ann couldn't come up with any compliments... except for his "look." What does that tell you? WHat a bunch of bull shit... they gave him an 18.


Floyd... he is not afraid to give himself some compliments... he must be a world champion boxer. We thought it was good in the middle but something in the beginning and the end was awkward... but the judges seem to like it... Bruno wants him to do so much better... and... so ... do... I...

One hour into the show... Drew is still on... trip...fall... do something drastic.

Oh Jane... there goes the sympathy card. You can only use it this week. If you use it next week, I will be royally miffed... Get it? Royally. :) She is lovely and she is wearing a horrible wig. Tangent Woman has announced that Tony is her favorite male dancer. Just in case any of you were wondering. I know I wasn't... The judges loved Jane... no duh... she could have pooped on the floor and she would have gotten good scores. Jane's mom died too early... she should have saved it for the semi finals.

(I have been IMing with LA during the show and I love that two grown up liberal whiteys are talking about who deserves our votes more.)

Helio is still infectious. Combine that with Julianne's cuteness and damn... the best DWTS couple in years... in terms of personality... I loved the dance... but the judges were so mean to him... Julianne is the best choreographer... period... Tough love I suppose. At least he finished fourth in his race this week. They gave him 3 8's. They were that mean and gave him 24? Unreal.

Marie is milk toast...bbbbbbbboooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrriiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnngggggggggggggggg. Tonight, she looked a little Delta Burkish.

Here's what I want...

Vote out Wayne or Sabrina...

Here's what might happen...

Bye Bye Cameron or Wayne....

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I thought Jennie's dance was really great. I think Derek & Julianne are both great choreographers and I'd love to see them both in the final 2. Jane was lovely as always.

-Shari