Friday, August 31, 2007

Rutgers Games Pet Peeve

Stop tucking your Rutgers jerseys into your jeans.

You look as dumb as you think you don't.


Book 42 of 52 -- Ted Bell's Assassin

Oh crap... I had just finished reading Alex Hawke's character in Hawke... and then he re-appears with his cadre of buddies in the novel Assassin.

Publisher's Weekly sums up the book best -- Experienced action-adventure readers know that it's almost never a good idea for their favorite heroic characters to get married. In the opening pages of Bell's fast and furious second novel featuring the large-living Alexander Hawke, the groom-to-be is having a case of nerves, and readers will find themselves uneasy as well. Sure enough, Hawke's intended, the lovely Victoria Sweet, is shot dead by a sniper minutes after the wedding ceremony. Meanwhile, America has been targeted by the nefarious Snay bin Wazir, known as the Dog for the curious doglike sound he makes when laughing, usually while throttling someone to death. Hawke is joined once again by his "merry band" of series regulars in stopping not only bin Wazir but in finding Victoria's killer, the infamous Scissorhands, risen anew from the pages of the previous Hawke novel. There's a huge cast of colorful killers in a conspiracy spanning the globe, and Hawke and company race from New England to Indonesia dodging bombs, poison and exploding shoes.

Bell writes with such ease that I can't imagine how he writes. It seems so effortless that he must just pop out a 100 pages or so a day and a week later... start editting.

Assassin checks in at 550 pages in paperback format and looks like it is the shortest of the four of his novels freaturing the Hawke character.

This is a fabulous follow up to the book Hawke.

Thursday, August 30, 2007

Hey Tucker! You Excited About Tonight????!?!?!?

Oh... sorry to bother you....

Keep sleeping...

Rutgers Football Season Starts Tonight

I got my season tickets...

There is excitement in the air...

Buffalo should be an easy win, but I am not taking anything for granted...even now that Rutgers is good.

I'll see you in the end zone...

Also... keep track of Ray Rice's bid for the Heisman at

GO KNIGHTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 29, 2007

Taming Tucker on Vacation -- Psycho Dog

When we sleep in our normal bed at home, we cannot normally hear Tucker sleeping because we have an air purifier running.

His normal movements and idiosyncrasies are muffled.

Apparently, Tucker is a bad ass in his dreams because his growls and groans were extremely evident on this trip because we didn't have any fan or anything to drown him out.

For 30 minutes, we yelled at him to shut up and threatened his furry head with severe punishment.

Tucker continued his little growls, completely ignoring us.

Damn... I am jealous of his deep sleep.

Finally... it took me getting up... running over to him... grabbing him by the snout and giving him a good little smack to encourage him to stop his nonsense that shut him up.

The Psychopath was tamed.

FREE Football Pro & College Pick Em & Survivor Football Leagues

FREE Football (Pro & Collge)Pick Em & Survivor Football Leagues

I have set up my normal Football leagues. They are free. Here is how you can sign up if you haven't yet.

PRO FOOTBALL PICK EM LEAGUE (Basic rules this year are... straight pick em with spreads and your worst week is removed, including a ZERO if you forget a week.)

1. Go to
2. Login or create a profile
3. Click on the "Pro Football Pick Em"
4. Enter the league information:

League ID#: 8026
Password is asphalt

Feel free to invite anyone.

COLLEGE FOOTBALL PICK EM LEAGUE (Basic rules this year are... straight pick em without spreads and your two worst weeks are removed, including a ZERO if you forget a week.)

1. Go to
2. Login or create a profile
3. Click on the "College Football Pick Em"
4. Enter the league information:

League ID#: 5081
Password is asphalt

Feel free to invite anyone.

SURVIVOR FOOTBALL (Basic rules this year are... You pick one team per week to win. If they lose, you get kicked out. Last one to survive wins.)

1. Go to
2. Login or create a profile
3. Click on the "Survival Football" link
4. Enter the league information:

League ID#: 2386
Password is: cheese

Feel free to invite anyone.

Good luck everyone...

Tuesday, August 28, 2007

Book 41 of 52 -- Ted Bell's Hawke

Ahhhh... there is very little better than sitting by the lake on a vacation with light long pants and a fleece on with a cool breeze blowing off the lake and drinking a beer and enjoying a good spy novel.

The paperback version of Ted Bell's Hawke checks in at a cool 600+ pages and serves as a reminder that quantity is sometimes a good thing.

Ted Bell has a gift for writing and is a great escape for any dreary or sunny day.

Alex Hawke is the protagonist and he is a direct descendant of a notorious pirate.

He is British and helps out the AMerican and British governments much like James Bond does...but he is free lance.

One of the interesting sub plots is that Cuban nationalists are trying to kill Castro and what made it interesting to me is that Castro was an actual character in the book.

Normally... writers use "top staffers" as speaking characters when real life leaders are used, but Bell actually uses Castro.

Something different.

Hawke is a great escape... a really great escape.

Monday, August 27, 2007

Three Word Movie Reviews

300 -- Lots of Fun

Are We Done Yet? -- Seriously... No More....

Brooklyn Dodgers: The Ghosts of Flatbush -- Fascinating Baseball Doc

Casino Royale -- Super Quality Bond

The Dead Zone (1983) -- Best King Adaptation

Disturbia -- Updated Hitchcockian Affair

Firehouse Dog -- Cute....That's It

Fracture -- Good Taut Thriller

God Grew Tired of Us -- Exactly What Seems

Green Street Hooligans -- Powerful Strong Film

Hot Fuzz -- Freaking Awesome Funfest

I Think I Love My Wife -- Sweet... NO LAUGHS

Live Free or Die Hard -- Fun, Wild Ride

Lonely Hearts -- Good Afternoon Time-Killer

Monk (Season 4) -- Get Any Better?

Pathfinder -- Not Worth It

Pride -- Cliche, but Good

TMNT -- Ooof... why? Seriously.

Vacancy -- I actually Enjoyed....

White Light Black Rain -- Wow... Powerful Doc

Wild Hogs -- Wild Pile O'Poo

Zodiac -- Tremendous, Startling Film

Sunday, August 26, 2007

More Brian Leonard


Brian Leonard Vs. The Raiders

What a mixed bag of feelings about this one... but look at Brian pulling his leaping move that he did a lot at Rutgers in the pros.

It is exciting but he better watch it or he will get killed in the pros.

Saturday, August 25, 2007

Friday, August 17, 2007

Final Photo

Enjoy this one. He's practicing lying by the lake by lying by the pool.

God... I really am obsessed with this dog.


So.... in just a short 24 hours... Tangentwoman, Smelmooo, and Tucker will be in the 2008 Ford Escape with plenty of tunes (none from Smelmooo's sister, AB and ER... lazy asses) driving up the long way to Maine to spend a week away from the world of New Jersey.

Phew... it's gonna be great...

I know it will.

Thursday, August 16, 2007

Great Quote

"Bad timing on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part."


Get it frigging done.


-- President Bush's daughter, Jenna, is engaged to be married, the White House says.

Book 40 of 52 -- Lisey's Story by Stephen King

I am just chugging along here.

Lisey's Story by Stephen King was the latest long winded book that I read.

Lisey's Story is a departure from most of the stuff that King writes. It's subtle and deeper and appears... at least on the surface... to be a tribute to his wife.

The flip side however, is that I think the book is really about himself as the female lead character (Lisey) is forced to discover more about herself while examining the life of her dead husband.

The book is sweet at its core but uses too much of a made up language to make its point.

There were times that I wish I had a study companion or a dictionary at my side just to understand the language.

Wednesday, August 15, 2007

Brian Leonard

Tangentwoman thinks I am a crazy stalker.

I am following the career of Brian Leonard so imagine my super excitement when I saw him discussed and listed on ESPN!

It was just a pre-season game, but they spoke about him a lot.


Tuesday, August 14, 2007

Rubber Band Ball Part Deux

Tangentwoman reminded me that I left out an extremely important part to the story.

I started the ball around a ping pong ball.

I am sure it is crushed.... "like grape" (Karate Kid).

Rubber Band Ball -- Mine... ALL MINE

So... we recently gave a tour of our house to some new friends.

When we walked into the office, the female part of the couple was immediately impressed (I am not sure whether it was positively or negatively) at my rubber band ball.

I have been adding to this ball since 1992 when I started a summer job as a shoe store stock person.

I have NEVER purchased or taken a box of rubber bands to add to the ball.

Every single rubber band comes from something that I interact with.

For example, every single red and fat rubber band that has made its way aroudn the ball inthe past three years has been from my daily newspaper delivery.

As you can see, the ball is much larger than a battery and weighs a lot.

I once tried bouncing the ball inside the house, but it went off in a funky direction and smashed some of our cabinets in a way that made me very uncomfortable.

I never thought this was weird and so much so that I forget that I even have the ball until it is time to add the rubber bands that I have collected.

So...when our new friend got noticiably excited about the ball and reacted aggressively when she tried to pick it up, I was a bit taken aback.

Is it really that weird?

I never thought so... but maybe it is.

Monday, August 13, 2007


Book 39 of 52 -- New England White by Stephen Carter

Alright... I moved away from drivel and read the super awesome quality second novel by Emperor of Ocean Park author. It is New England White by Stephen Carter.

This is one of the most intricate novels I have ever read and I thought that the first book was the most detailed book I have ever read.

THe book focusses on the upper crust African Americans and how they drive themselves in society. Far more interesting, from my point of view, is his dramatization of what drives the black upper class. Books in which a member of an ethnic group characterizes that group are too often filled with self hatred or viewed through rose colored glasses. Carter's is neither, which makes his characters believable. They have been deeply scarred by not daunted by their heritage and are clawing their way determinedly up the ladder, using all the talent, guile, resourcefulness and mendacity present in their human gene pool.

Good book folks... good book.

Sunday, August 12, 2007

Husbands Ooops

Husband and wife are sitting quietly in bed reading when the wife looks over at him and asks the question.

WIFE: "What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?"
HUSBAND: "Definitely not!"
WIFE: "Why not? Don't you like being married?"
HUSBAND: "Of course I do."
WIFE: "Then why wouldn't you remarry?"
HUSBAND: "Okay, okay, I'd get married again."
WIFE: "You would?"(with a hurt look)
HUSBAND: (makes audible groan)
WIFE: "Would you live in our house?"
HUSBAND: "Sure, it's a great house."
WIFE: "Would you sleep with her in our bed?"
HUSBAND: "Where else would we sleep?"
WIFE: "Would you let her drive my car?"
HUSBAND: "Probably, it is almost new."
WIFE: "Would you replace my pictures with hers?"
HUSBAND: "That would seem like the proper thing to do."
WIFE: "Would you give her my jewelry?"
HUSBAND: "No, I'm sure she'd want her own."
WIFE: "Would you take her golfing with you?
HUSBAND: "Yes, those are always good times."
WIFE: "Would she use my clubs?
HUSBAND: "No, she's left-handed."
WIFE: -- silence --

HUSBAND: "shit."

Saturday, August 11, 2007

Are you qualified to be a professional?

Are you qualified to be a professional?

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional. Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. But don't scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question!

1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

The correct answer is: Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door. This question tests whether you tend to do simple things in an overly complicated way.

2. How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?

Did you say, Open the refrigerator, put in the elephant, and close the refrigerator?

Wrong Answer.

Correct Answer: Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door. This tests your ability to think through the repercussions of your previous actions.

3. The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which animal does not attend?

Correct Answer: The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator. You just put him in there. This tests your memory.

Okay, even if you did not answer the first three questions correctly, you still have one more chance to show your true abilities.

4. There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat. How do you manage it?

Correct Answer: You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting. This tests whether you learn quickly from your mistakes.

According to Anderson Consulting Worldwide, around 90% of the professionals they tested got all questions wrong, but many preschoolers got several correct answers Anderson Consulting says this conclusively disproves the theory that most professionals have the brains of a four-year-old.

Friday, August 10, 2007

Oh Jesus...

This is the front page picture on

Oh jesus....

It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia

I love this show and it is returning. Here are the four teasers they are running. They are all about 20 seconds or so each... with the first one here being 45 seconds long.

Damn people... get into this completely UnPC show.

It is hilarious.

Thursday, August 09, 2007

Greatest Mastercard Commercial Ever

Tangentwoman and I agree... best Mastercard commercial ever.

I love these kids.

Book 38 of 52 -- Lean Mean Thirteen by Janet Evanovich

One of my guilty pleasures every year is to read the annual installment of the Stephanie Plum series by Janet Evanovich.

Janet Evanovich's books are ... for some reason... international sensations. Her writing is simplistic and overly reliant on using cliches and formulaic storylines.

I can't say that over the 13.5 books in the series that a whole lot has changed in the lives of the characters, but hey... it is a decent ride.

Her books focus on a character named Ms. Stephanie Plum, and she is a bounty hunter in Trenton, New Jersey... I find Evanovich's descriptions of the area to be sophmoric yet accurate enough to remind me of my time living just outside of Trenton. I think she's a bit harsh on the "jersey" stereotypes, but gotta sell books huh?

Lean Mean 13 is the latest book (her Stephanice Plum books all have numbers in the title and the next book will obviously feature the number 14.)

It's a simple read and I laughed at points while trying to figure out the simplsitic plot. The plots are so simple that you often look too deeply into them.

Regardless... the latest in the series doesn't disappoint as Lula and Grandma have significant roles again... so for those of you that know the series.. you won't be disappointed.

Wednesday, August 08, 2007

MMMM... Vacation

So... we are going to Wayne, ME on vacation...

They have a website that you can send fake postcards from the town...

This is Wayne's... I am soooo close to being there with muh wife, dog, and friends...

Time to Piss Everyone Off

Congrats Barry.

I actually mean it.

There is no asterick next to your name in my book.


Tuesday, August 07, 2007

Three Word Movie Reviews

1408 -- Great, Suspensful... Exciting

Avenue Montaigne -- Wonderful French Dessert

The Baxter -- Cute Harmless Flick

The Bridge -- Wow...Powerful Stuff

Factory Girl -- Like Warhol... Pretentious...

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix -- Thumbs Up Good!!!

The Hills Have Eyes 2 -- Ho Hum ... Average

The Host -- Holy Smokes! AWESOME!

Marilyn Hotchkiss' Ballroom Dancing and Charm School -- Charming? Nuh Uh

Monk (Season 3) -- Monk Equals Awesome

The Number 23 -- Not Entirely Horrible

Perfume: The Story of a Murder -- Smelled Good... Different

Premonition -- My Premonition? SHIT

Slow Burn -- Yawn... It Sucked...

Weeds: Season 2 -- Most Hilarious Show

Monday, August 06, 2007

Greatest Show On Cable -- ROCK OF LOVE

SO... I absolutely love the trash fest that is Rock of Love. Bret Michaels signed up for a bacheloresqu type dating show and he was presented with 25 of the hottest and skaniest and dumbest women on the face of the planet. If you thought the women of Flavor of Love were trash.. then you need to see Rock of Love.

Did anyone else notice that Bret wrote his own theme song for the show? It is as bad as his music.

Unlike Flavor of Love, I am actually rooting for Bret in the show since the women are so incredibly horrible. In Flavor of Love, I was rooting for the women since Flavor Flav was atrocious. In Rock of Love, I want to see Bret happy in the end... and after last week's episode, I am not sure there are any sane people left.

To show you how trashy the show is, I must discuss my favorite challenge so far -- the Talk Dirty to Me challenge. bret had a heart monitor type thing hooked up to his penis and the girls talked dirty to him on the phone. The three girls that got his heart rate up the most... won!


Here are some other thoughts and questions I have.

How many bandanas does Bret have?

Brandi C is ridiculously gorgeous yet dumber than a coffee table.

A white chick literally peed herself, which proves racial equality since on Flavor of Love, a black chick pooped on the floor. All races are disgusting.

Magdalena is 200 feet tall and has a man's voice. One of the colorful ladies that makes me giggle...with pity.

One of my favorite bits was when the chicks who are currently or former strippers danced on the in-house stripper pole.

The cattiness of women is so on display here that it just can't be real, but it is. It really is and I just shake my head at the craziness that is these women. Muh wife's response? "They are sooo junior high, I can't stand it."

"I am really stoked because I look really good in my outfit."

Motocross challenge. Bret outfit included giant cowboy print boots

Lacey is horrible. "A walking piece of garbage."

Jes has an extremely beautiful face but what the hell is going on with that hair?

"Bret just kissed me and I think I heard angels sing. Because...I am a dork." (Sam)

Actual quote from Bret "date over. I'm horny. "

One chick said, "I have a lot of class and you just don't do that (referring to one of the girls burping)." She then tells Bret, "my favorite position is doggy". Nice (Rodeo)

Oh Brandi C and Rodeo... you made the show rather interesting.

Sunday, August 05, 2007

Happy Birfday Jenni


Smelmooo, Tangentwoman, and Tucker

Friday, August 03, 2007


We are leaving for Saratoga... and I wanted to leave you with this picture...

Tangent Woman says he looks a little scary... I think he's cute.


Thursday, August 02, 2007

Live Free or Die Hard Movie Going Experience

Zero Commercials

Six Previews

AMC Theater....2 hours and 10 minute movie...

Holy Crap! SIck Day

This is the worst diet I have ever been on...

Two fun filled days of it.

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

Surprise at the Doctor's Office

I recently went on my day of doctors. It was different than normal in that I went to a series of brand new doctors.

At the general practiioner, I was greeted by the front desk and sat down for my informational meeting.

The super sweet lady behind the deskl asked me a series of informational questions and was whipping out forms for me to sign when she asked the weirdest question of the day for me.

"Do you have a living will?"

I replied with... "Yes..."

The COMPLETELY SURPISED LOOK on her face was priceless.

I said, "I guess I surprised you with that one huh?"

"Uh... yes... how responsible of you!"

I smirked and said, "I know... I take death very seriously."


Thankfully... I exercised good judgment and didn't tell her that I run a Death Pool.

That might have made her head explode.