Friday, November 30, 2007

FBT's Birthday!!!!


30 is a great age.

Thursday, November 29, 2007

Turning a Work Trip Into Something Longer

I am going to Miami... and I am psyched since it is my first time.

I'll see you Sunday or Monday....

10 Weeks Over? Survivor Continues After a Week That Saw... A Frigging Recap

It's been two whole weeks since the last new episode so some of this might seem really really stale to you.

Or... You don't give a shit and you don't read it anyway.

(Reminders... 1. Seven people are left. 2. Courtney is down to 2.25 pounds. Good for her. She was looking kind of fat. 3. James is still the most difficult person to understand. 4. Amanda is going to win.)

At the beginning of this episode, Courtney is revelling in the fact that Jean Robert is gone. In doing so, they had to screw over Denise who wasn't part of the decision making she moped around a whole bunch. The two hardest people to understand James and Denise had a conversation and they didn't run any subtitles... bastards at CBS.

TW keeps saying... "I hate Todd. I hate Todd. I hope that he gets voted out." This amazes me since I love Todd. I love any person that shows interest in the actual strategy of the game. He gives a crap and thinks... perhaps a bit too much, but I appreciate it a lot.

Now... we are in the episode at the point where PEigh Gee and James are arguing after the bouncing ball challenge and now... TW has totally turned on James... he is a bit of a jerk now... so I understand her point of view. I wil remind her of how much she loved him in the beginning of the season.

Sooooo... Frosti and Courtney are smoochie faces... I TOTALLY did not see that coming at all. Courtney was one of the people that won the eating reward. She might have gained a couple pounds eating that fried chicken and mashed know... the traditional Chinese meal.

Sooo... have any of you seen that awesome Quizno's commercial where the beautiful model tells the homely woman that she hates her...and the homely woman... excitedly goes... "Really?" I love that commercial.

Sooo... I think it should be a compliment to Frostie that he was voted out because they viewed him as a threat since everyone liked him.... take it for what it's worth.

Sooo... I am going to pick James tonight simply because my gorgeous wife can't stand him anymore.

Here's the picks... and... remember... the parenthesis indicate when they were picked in the draft.


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Todd (4)
3. Denise (5)
4. Peigh-Gee (8)
5. James (9)
6. Erik (12)
7. Dave (13) -- Booted Week 4
8. Leslie (16) -- Booted Week 3

1. Amanda (2)
6. Frostie (11) -- BOOTED WEEK NINE!!!!
3. Jean-Robert (6) -- BOOTED WEEK EIGHT!!!!
7. Jamie (14) -- BOOTED WEEK SEVEN!!!!
8. Sherea (15) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!
5. Aaron (10) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!!
2. Ashley (3) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
4. Steve (Chicken) (7) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Amanda (4)
3. Todd (5)
4. Denise (8)
5. Peigh-Gee (9)
6. Frostie (12) -- Booted Week Nine
7. Jean-Robert (13) -- Booted Week Eight
8. Sherea (16) -- Booted Week Six

1. Erik (2)
2. James (3)
3. Jamie (6) -- BOOTED WEEK SEVEN!!!!
6. Aaron (11) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!!
5. Dave (10) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
8. Leslie (15) -- BOOTED WEEK THREE!!!!
4. Ashley (7) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
7. Steve (14) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!

Wednesday, November 28, 2007

Dancing With the Stars -- A Champion Wins and is Crowned

Ok... I love this show... but two hours? You have to be kidding me...

Let's recap... Marie finished in last place and will have the full force of the Mormons behind her.


We get our first look at the contestants across stage and only Helio doesn't look nervous... OOOH!! THey are going to tell us who is in third and make the last two compete for more judges points to win this thing. That's neat.

Celine Dion sings for the first time and we fast forward to the announcement of who finished third and got booted. (Both TW and I are super rooting against Marie... but we both think they will make it through....)

YESSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We are so happy to be wrong.

So.... what do we do for the next 1 hour and 40 minutes? I bet there is a lot of flashbacks and stuff.

Oh... each dancer is dancing a last dance... Ick.. Sabrina... I forgot how much I don't miss her.

Hey... it's Samantha's birthday... :) we are the same age... *Swoon*

The two finalist come out to cheesy announcing and music and it is now that we love DWTS most because they are so tongue in cheek with themselves.

The dancers are doing one more dance that the judges will score and it will count as part of the judges' scores. This is neat and the dancers get to choose.

Mel B and Maksim Shrismdfasdfaovsky are up first... they chose to do a Mambo that they didn't get a perfect score on the first time. Interesting and balsy choice. As always... it was really good even though Mel B doesn't belong int his competition because she is a performer... a Spice Girl... The judges' scores.... Carrie Ann... 10 ... Len ... 10 ... Bruno...10 -- That's 30 and she gets an 85 out of 90.

Helio can only get an 84 if they get a perfect score... sooo... they have to be more popular in the voting than them..since the people's vote count for 1/2 the score and serves as the tie-breaker.

Helio Castroneves and Julianne Hough are up last. I like them. I hope he wins... I really do. The judges' scores.... Carrie Ann... 10 ... Len ... 10 ... Bruno... 10 That's 30 and he gets an 84 out of 90.

The fate is in the hands of the people... Please people... be good....

And.... they keep drawing it out with more montages... I might love this show, but dammit... I hate useless drivel.

Sooo... the winner???!?!?

HELIO & JULIANNE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (My reward for second place Mel is not ruin a picture of her.)

Tuesday, November 27, 2007


Sooo... I am so sad... this will be my last night of watching dancing by C Level celebrities...

Yes... I must admit... I am voting on every possible phone I have for anything but Marie.... and I mean... anything...


Soooo... we are watching the opening credits and my comment is... Soo... ummm is "Who is Albert Reed?" Hee hee... I am funny.

In a ballroom dancing competition... should the words "No Holds Barred" ever be used?

Mel B and Maksim Stupid Face are up first... so... Mel B invited male Spice Girls to infuse style into a professional dancer's world. Stupid... I hope she falls down. She is exposing so much skin and that means that I have to look at her stupid tattoos and her huge ass and her stupid accent. She just looks British. The beginning of the dance was a bit gimmicky and I am not sure that Len is going to like it. They are dancing to "Car Wash." We went to Joe's Crab Shack this weekend and the dancers broke out in dance to the song. Dammit... Mel B danced better than the waiters... heh heh... Let's look at the scores! 28... THank you judges for being real-ish.

Marie Osmond and Jonathan Roberts are up next and she is wrestling with Jonathan and now spying on Julianne. Marie is getting hotter... and that is annoying me to pieces. So... she got one final reference to the passing out in... and muh wife asks... what are the odds that she passes out again? I say... 50-1. The dance looks awkward and even though she is getting cutre... she can't act that way... Let's see what the judges say.. WOOOO HOOOOO!!!! only a 24. Eat that Marie!!!

Helio Castroneves and super cute Julianne Hough are up next. They too are wrestling. That was the shortest video montage of all year. JUlianne is ridiculously cute and it is annoying me to pieces. I really liked the dance and I will be voting for them... the judges are totally hating the dance... OOF... That was some ROUGH critiquing and they were incredibly boo'ed. THeir score was 25... WOW... that was tough and makes me sad.

Mel B is up doing her freestyle dance... which has the possibility to be very exciting and currently... she is standing around a lot and Maksim keeps jumping over her and through her legs. This is a bad Spice Girls video. Boring and completely uninspired. Carrie Ann agreed with me...Len was sort of boring and Bruno was weird. Commercial....27 for a total of 55.

Marie is about to do her freestyle dance and I am scared as shit to watch this. How could I have known that it would be this horrific and terrible. She is doing a doll. No really... Her dancing is rigid and she doesn't have to be crisp... I am just trying to say something nice about it... really... I can't anymore. If she wins this thing... it really is the Mormons who won this for her. Bruno called it the "Loopiest thing he has ever seen and defies criticism... " He was speechless-ish. Carrie Ann could almost not say anything... People...that was the oddest choice of all time... it was horrible. Let's see what the scores were... She got an 8??!?!? her total was 22 and her total total is 46.

Helio is up last.... It is the best freestyle dance of the three... by far... even with the little itty bitty screw up in the middle. That was awesome... I can't say enough. They got a 29 for a grand total of 54.

Please America... Marie is off her frigging rocker... and do not vote for her... I will boycott America if she wins... or... I will just be really really really really really really really really really really MAD.

Monday, November 26, 2007

Cum On Feel The Quiet....

We will miss you Kevin...

At least I will...

Click Here...

Book 56 of 52 -- Michael Connelly's The Black Ice

Book 56 is the second of the Harry Bosch books by Michael Connelly.

Released in 1993, this novel features Harry Bosch as the freewheeling police detective who is at odds with his superiors and always working his own agenda.

Although this book is part of a long-running series it stands on its own quite well.

You do not need to read it any order along with the other Bosch novels Connelly has written.

As in his other novels, Connelly excels in devising a complex plot in Black Ice that unfolds gradually.

He depicts Bosch as someone who tirelessly follows leads and seeks to piece together the slightest clue, which Connelly drops into the story little by little.

At one point in this novel I thought that the author was making it too easy.

However, there is a plot twist that surprised me. The author's trick is that it was easy to read the clues as pointing to the conclusion I expected, not to where the clues actually led.

The only drawback to Black Ice is that the plot veers into almost unbelievable territory with sections involving paramilitary operations.

While the plot was interesting, it did seem a little ''over the top'' at one point and I had doubts that an LA police officer could get away with some of the antics that Bosch pulled.

Overall I enjoyed reading Black Ice a great deal, and think it was a great second novel in the series that now stretches to thirteen books.

Sunday, November 25, 2007

Saturday, November 24, 2007

American Ganster Movie Going Experience

Three quick previews....

No commercials....

2.5 hours of a long ass movie....

Friday, November 23, 2007

No Country For Old Men Movie Going Experience

Commercials -- 6 (This commercial included a 3 Doors Down video for the National Guard. Holy crap, the commercials were out of control...I took a pee during them and never missed a second.)

Previews -- 6

Thursday, November 22, 2007

Happy Birthday Dan

Wooooo hoooooo

Happy Thanksgiving!!!!

I like this holiday a lot... I really do.

Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Birthday Post #4

Last post based upon my birthday... I swear....

I am going to relate one of the greatest small world stories of my life and I hope that it translates well onto this medium.

I went to Rutgers and my Freshman year, I took Calculus class.

Like most large colleges, I was stuck in a 500+ person class with Freshmen galore.

I didn't know anyone in class and I sat down next to this random chick.

She and I struck up a conversation as class was going and we hit it off pretty well.

So much so, that we hung out at every class after that.

About three weeks into the semester, we realized that our birthdays were coming up relatively soon, so I asked, "When is your birthday?"

She replied with, "November 19th. Yours?"

I answered, "Me too! That's so cool."

We smiled...

"Don't think I am crazy, but where were you born?" I asked.

She named a hospital and I was shocked! It was the same hospital that I was born in.

Now that is a small world.

We each called our moms that night and found out that our parents shared a hospital room when we were born... a couple of minutes apart.

Now... THAT's a small world...

And pretty neat too.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

Dancing With the Stars -- Narrowing it Down to 3

Sooo.... we have 4 people left at the beginning of the show and we have to narrow it down to 3.

ooooHhhhhhhh!!!! the pressure.....

Ok... soo... LIIIIVVVEEEEE...

The repeat dance of the week was Jennie and Derek... good for her... she needed that ego push... seriously... she did...

*Yawn*... AVRIL LAVIGNE is on... Fast Forward... (P.S. Avril got hot...)

Not to be too disrespectful... but Samantha's cans are GINORMOUS in that dress...

During the first interview... I firmly believe that Marie might be drunk...

Someone please tell me why Florence Henderson seems to be on every single episode...

Let's see who the first couple to be saved is.... Marie and Jonathan. (SHIT)

10 minutes since her last interview and I still think she is drunk.

Kenny Mayne is comedy gold for this show... and he is doing a mocumentary on "dancing stars in rehab." It was hilarious.

*YAWN* Michael Flatley is dancing and the crowd... NO FRIGGING JOKE... is louder for him than anything that I have ever seen. I didn't fast forward... and my YAWN turned into a ho hum with a caveat... I would probably have liked it more if the outfits weren't completely "gay-ish" Sailor boys?


This is an hour.... and I am feeling every single fast forwarded moment.

The second couple saved is Mel B and Maksim Shmirkovsky. Double SHIT.

The third couple saved is Helio Castroneves and Julianne Hough

Therefore... it's bye bye time for Jennie Garth and Derek Hough.

I am not entirely surprised and I wish her the best for her and her fourth kiddie poo.

Birthday Post #3

Yesterday... I looked into who has the same birthday as me and is famous...

It was a shot of reality....

Sooo... today... I wanted to look into what has happened or what holidays are celebrated on my birthday (yesterday.)

Gettysburg Address -- The Gettysburg Address is one of the single greatest historic events in the history of the world. That's right... in the history of the world and if you try to argue about it with me... I will take you outside and Emancipate your legs from your body.

World Toilet Day -- Imagine how incredibly excited I was to find out that World Toilet Day is November 19th every year. This is teh same household device that I break with my humungous poops (Ha ha... you have to indulge me since this is about my birthday.) There is an entire day dedicated to the one thing that can't handle me. True story... my mother had to sit me down and tell me that I wasn't allowed to use two particular toilets since I wrecked them. That is a conversation that you would think is funny... and not uncomfortable... but it is when it comes from your mother... trust me.

Equal Opportunity Day -- BITCHES!!!!!!!!!!!

National Johova Day -- Hee hee... I think it's wrong that this holiday is celebrated in a cold month. They walk around in their fun outfits and go door to door but they decided on a cold day to celebrate... how backwards is that? Silly people. Did any of you know that I went to school with a Johova? She was so sweet, but a bit backwards... Her dad was going to choose her husband when she graduated from high school. I wonder what she is doing now in life...

Sooooo.... yeah... I love my birthday...

Monday, November 19, 2007

Dancing With the Stars... Week 10


It's my birthday and because I adore this show... I am soooo glad that it is on during my birthday.

I may be going to hell for saying this... but Marie Osmond is looking hot...

Tom Bergeron just called Jennie Garth a "yummy mummy."

I think I might be buzzed on birthday wine....

Marie Osmond and Jonathan Roberts are up first. Her body shape has changed so dramtatically that it is amazing. The song for the quickstep was sung by the atrociious singers of Dancing With the Stars and seemed inappropriate for the show and the dance. It was Good Morning! from Singing in the Rain... The judges said... "You bring so much joy and entertainment..." That seems like a not so great or bad thing to say.... but her dance was also called Perfect... HA!!!! Marie got two 10s and was screaming like an idiot when Bruno pulled out a 9... she kept screaming... and then pulled back... hee hee... TOTAL... 29!!!

CAKE BREAK!!!!!!!!!! Thanks to Tangentwoman for making a really awesome flourless chocolate cake with super duper raspberry sauce... yummy!!!!!!!

Up second... Mel B and Maksim Shmirkovsky... She finally pulled out the family and kids. Then... she actually brings out the Spice Girls in person to root for her on screen. They are practicing on the Dancing With the Stars stage. Does anyone else that watches the show get the feeling that she just learned the dance right before the show? They killed the song... (Freddy Mercury is rolling around in his poor dead grave.) She did some really cool splits in the middle of her dance... but need I remind all of you that she is a performer and should not be in the competition... I am officially a broken record. However... this may have been the greatest dance of the show of all time... if it weren't for the final part of the dance... Total... 30 and well deserved... (TW makes a good point that the score is unfair since her skills because of her job should not be compared to Marie's since they are so different people.)

Ok... cmon votes... can we please vote off Mel B or Marie? Thank you.

Jennie Garth is up third and Derek Hough is her partner. They reminded us that Bruno was a prick to her... yeup... a prick. (I think it was because she had Richard Simmons as a motivational speaker....) Is it legitimate that Jennie took her kids to a surpise trip to Disneyland? Isn't Disney the owner of Dancing With the Stars? Just curious... Oh my god... Jennie's music is atrociious... they CANNOT SING!!! I really hate them... the dance wasn't horrible... but the song was so horrible that we pretty much doomed it to hell from the start. Total -- 28... not the best... but she is still cute.

Helio Castroneves and Julianna Hough are up next and I am not going to root for her anymore since they brought Rascal Flatts to root them on. Oh... alright.. she's still lovely... Her roots are coming through... oh crap... what do I care? Does she have a partner? I forget. It seemed perfect to me... (It being the dance), but it wasn't their best... it's too bad her hair just looks bad... argh... I have a huge crush on her... and so does my 16 year old boy next door neighbor!!! THIRTY!!!!!!!!!!

Judge Len is giving everyone some lessons... this was not fun at all... I think I am going to look up hotels for possible RU bowl games.

Marie is up to do her second dance... and I have to admit that I liked it more than I thought... she seems a bit gorilla-y, but she has the enthusiasm that makes the Mambo that much more fun to watch. She finished the dance by landing in her brother's laps... at least they are all there so they can't vote for her at all... Total... 27... so overall total ......... 56.

Mel B and her second dance is up... It was good... but didn't seem special to me. but the judges loved it more than the first dance... so that means they ot a perfect score? Yeup... another 30. Total... 60...

Jenni Garth is up next... Jennie looks amazing in her outfit. The dance was the best one that she has done the entire competition. She smiled the entire and seemed to enjoy it. She also used her sexy body the way she should have from the beginning... sexily... Let's see what the sour puss judges think... They love her and I bet that she gets a 30... (Shiny object! Michael Flatley will be on tomorrow... ) Her score? 30! Total!!! 58!!!! Better than Marie!!!!

Helio and Julianne finish out the show. Holy crap that was good... how do I know it was good? I got really nervous at some points... that someone was going to hurt themselves... Truly amazing. Another 30 and and a perfect score of 60!!!!

Let's see... perhaps... I will root against Marie... I continue to root against them...

Birthday Post #2

During the first week of Dancing With the Stars this season, Tom Bergeron referred to Savion Glover as the "Legendary Savion Glover."

That made me smile and then upset.

Savion Glover and I were born on the exact same day (Today) in the exact same year about 15 miles apart from each... and he has already become legendary.

Wow... talk about a wake up call for me...

Savion Glover is legendary and I am legendary for... ummm... Tucker. (That's about it... )

Sooo... I got bored and I decided to look up who else I share a birthday with to see if Savion is the only other legendary person who shares a birthday with me... This is what I found.

Jodie Foster (1962) -- Freaky Friday!!!!
Dick Cavett (1936)
Ann Curry (1956) -- This was a wake up call... I had no idea that she was that old! She looks so lovely... (Good morning... Good morning on this fine morning -- That one's for you TW)
James Garfield (1831) -- President... TWICE!
Allison Janney (1959) -- Another one who is older than I thought.
Calvin Klein (1942) -- I wear his unduhpants...soemtimes... but only when he asks nicely.
Ahmad Rashad (1949) -- How dare you defile Mrs. Huxtable!?!?!??
Meg Ryan (1961) -- Blech. Simply stated... blech.
Ted Turner (1938) -- He's legendary.... in My opinoin at least...

So ... Happy birthday to me... and I am feeling legendary today... and today only...

Sunday, November 18, 2007

Birthday Week -- Post #1

Sooo... it is my birthday week... and I am excited about a few things. I have written a series of blogs centered around my birthday.

I hope you enjoy... since they are all kind of dopey.(This one being the most lame one.)

Here's my first installment.

Tangentwoman read this interesting article about Congress and it's schedule.

Bastards hate me and my birthday.

Calendar Conundrum. Democrats and Republicans seem to be having trouble agreeing on just about anything these days, including setting a tentative schedule for the rest of the year.

In the annual calendar sent out by Senate Majority Whip Dick Durbin (D-Ill.) and Minority Whip Trent Lott’s (R-Miss.) offices last week, the pair apparently didn’t double-check, you know, the actual dates. So the calendar lists, in order, Nov. 18, 29 and then 20. Poor Nov. 19 was ignored entirely.

“I’m not sure where the 19th went. But since the Democrats have announced that they can accomplish just as little in a three-day workweek next year as they did with this year’s supposed five-day weeks, I’d expect a lot more days to go missing on future calendars,” joked a Republican leadership aide.

Saturday, November 17, 2007

Steakbellie Tagged Me -- Bastard

I was tagged....and I have a headache the size of Steakbellie's belly after an eating competition.

I have been tagged by Steakbellie to write about certain topics in blocks of 8.

8 passions in my life
Tucker's Nuts
Rutgers Football
Oakland Raiders
New York Yankees

8 things to do before I die:
Go to Alaska
See a Rutgers football bowl game live
Go to a game in every single MLB park
See more of the whole world
Pay off our house
Buy another house in a totally cool and awesome area
Live in the extra house at least half the year
Finish my State Quarters collection

8 things I often say
Douche Bag
I don't want to do that.
What do you want for dinner?
Question (in the style of Dwight Schrute)
What do you want to watch?
I am the single greatest fantasy football player of all time.
I love you.

8 Books I read recently
Nicholas Sparks' The Choice
Michael Connelly's The Black Ice
Michael Connelly's The Black Echo
Faye Kellerman's The Burnt House
Stephen Frey's The Fourth Order
Khaled Hosseini's A Thousand Splendid Suns
Gregory Maguire's Son of a Witch
James Patterson's You'be Been Warned

8 songs that mean something to me
Forever in Blue Jeans - Neil Diamond
Sweet Caroline - Neil Diamond
Elevation - U2
Pinch Me -- Barenaked Ladies
Waking Up Next to You - Steve Poltz
Extraordinary - Better Than Ezra
How Do You Tell Someone You Don't Love Them - Cowboy Mouth
Happy Birthday To You

8 Qualities I look for in a friend
Sense of Humor
Attention Span

8 people who I'm passing this on to
The Paperboy

What to Wear When Your Spouse Has Chores For You

Friday, November 16, 2007

Book 55 of 52 -- James Patterson's You've Been Warned

Frigging Brainless Drivel.

Oh wait... this isn't a three word review...

It's James Patterson trying to write mystery and occult writing.

It just doesn't work for much except a brainless by the pool read.

Perhaps Patterson should focus on QUALITY over QUANTITY...this was his fourth or fifth book of the year.

SUrvivor China -- Frosty Melts in Week 9

Say bye bye to Frosty.

Thursday, November 15, 2007

Survivor China -- Jesus... 9 Weeks!

(Quick reminders...1. Jean Robert was a prick, which was why he was voted out. 2. Courtney is now 2.25 pounds -- she lost only a 1/4 pound this week. 3. Jeff is still wearing baseball hats/thank goodness.

James is describing all the players... and he described Todd (albeit a homosexual) as a stewardess. Tee Hee.

Something I have noticed is that Denise's MULLET!!!!! is growing out and becoming less mulletty.

The challenge where they had to bail water out of the boat and Courtney was chosen to sit in the boat and bail water was a disaster for Courtney... she kept worrying about water hitting her in teh face... how annoying...

I said it once before and I am going to say it again... AMANDA is going to win this thing. The entire thing... the whole thing... That slightly annoys me... because she is a really nice person... it seems but she is so boring, it's ridiculous.

Ooooh... Denise made me very sad... "I'm big, I'm fat... and I was picked last. It's been that way my entire life...and here it happened again." I want to make fun of it... but I can't/couldn't.

Sooo I love establishing shots, but Survivor China has had some of the most amazing establishing shots of any season and a lot of them include insects. There was a shot this week of someone's toe and there was a really cool looking bug on it... the bug moved and then a bumble bee replaced it... and it was so full of color. It was amazing.

Jean Robert is still being a prick...and Todd keeps annoying me with his whining... but I like Todd the best so it is surprising to me that he is also annoying me.

The second challenge had everyone with a dragon between their legs... something that Todd has been used to for years. It was a really cool method of playing the balancing game that is in every single season in one way or another. One of the better visual ones. There is no way to describe it but James kept almost falling and kept going... "whoa...whoa...whoa...." that made me giggle... and then... he fell...

Courtney's eyes are now officially bigger than her head.

James tries to use big words and often fails... but this episode, he used sequestered and he used it correctly. Awesome!

Interesting... I was wondering for awhile there if Amanda was ruling Todd's little world... we get a sense this episode that Todd is really the one pulling the strings...

Heading into tribal council Mark Burnett and Jeff Probst have us believing that it will be Jean Robert or James getting booted tonight...Will they pull a trick on James or will they straight up vote out Jean Robert?

Jean Robert was blind sided.

Tee Hee....

Thinking about the game... I am now up FIVE players in each game...but I think I am going to lose to Ashfault who has Amanda.

I am going with Peigh-Gee.... as this week's boot.

Here's the picks... and... remember... the parenthesis indicate when they were picked in the draft.


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Todd (4)
3. Denise (5)
4. Peigh-Gee (8)
5. James (9)
6. Erik (12)
7. Dave (13) -- Booted Week 4
8. Leslie (16) -- Booted Week 3

1. Amanda (2)
6. Frostie (11)
3. Jean-Robert (6) -- BOOTED WEEK EIGHT!!!!
7. Jamie (14) -- BOOTED WEEK SEVEN!!!!
8. Sherea (15) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!
5. Aaron (10) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!!
2. Ashley (3) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
4. Steve (Chicken) (7) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Amanda (4)
3. Todd (5)
4. Denise (8)
5. Peigh-Gee (9)
6. Frostie (12)
7. Jean-Robert (13) -- Booted Week Eight
8. Sherea (16) -- Booted Week Six

1. Erik (2)
2. James (3)
3. Jamie (6) -- BOOTED WEEK SEVEN!!!!
6. Aaron (11) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!!
5. Dave (10) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
8. Leslie (15) -- BOOTED WEEK THREE!!!!
4. Ashley (7) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
7. Steve (14) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!

Wednesday, November 14, 2007

Dancing With the Stars -- Week 9 Boot


So big news in the world of Dancing With the Stars today... Karina Smirnov who most of you know as the whore who let Mario Lopez dance his gay little feet into her pants... GOT A NOSE JOB!!!!!! Not because she is vain, but because she needed to fix her twice broken nose.

Hyperbolic Bastard is overexagerating how dramatic last week was... since it was probably the least shocking week of them all. No one passed our or farted on live television...


Samantha Harris looks awesome... and Tangent Woman doesn't... that's why we are married... we have different tastes in women.

(P.S. Someone found my blog by doing a search on google for "jennie garth needs teeth fixed" Oh boy...)

We hate the audience reviews... but alas... it is live...

The first saved couple is Marie Osmond and Jonathan Roberts. FUCK. Time to turn this shit off.

POLITICAL CORNER -- I repeat since I am a frigging broken record... the MORMONS are out of control and taking over the world with the Chinese. I predict that the Mormon led United States will be fighting the Chinese in a war...

Jimmy Kimmel is doing another segment... this is hilarious. in an animal cone... that makes me laugh.

I watch Gloria Estefan and I am upset with myself in that I used to have a HUGE crush on her in high school.... oh Gloria... you didn't age well at all. Damn.

Ok... they are interviewing a bunch of motivational speaker type people. Tony Robbins and some black guy.... BORING!!!!!!!!!!!

The second couple saved is Helio Castroneves and Julianne Hough!!!

At this point... I am rooting against Mel and Maks... just because I don't like her and I think she needs to go home.

The third couple saved is Mel B. and Maksim SHMIRNOFSKY FACE.

The fourth couple saved is Jennie Garth and Derek Hough.

That means... the booted couple is Cameron Matheson and Edyta Slov(w)insky.

Bye Edyta... I will miss you.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Dancing With the Stars -- Week 9 (Who's Left to Hate?)

Sooo... last week, the last person that I could actually hate (Jane) was voted off. I can't hate Mel B. (I just think it's inappropriate that she is on the show since she is a dancer for a living) and Marie Osmond (since deep down, she is a really sweet mother of 3440 children).

I will be rooting actively for a Helio Castroneves & (Jennie Garth or Cameron Matheson) finish. I like the three of them.

Sooo.... will Marie's father dying affect her at all this week?

LLLLLLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE (I feel so safe and at home when I hear that.... ahhhhhh) Thank you Tom. Thank you.

Jennie Garth who was just on Ellen is up first... and for some reason she still thinks that she can't dance when she can... (TW just told me that she just announced that she wants a fourth kid... Jesus...) Holy crap... Richard Simmons was brought in to help Jennie... She loves Richard Simmons... I might not like her so much anymore. Neither of us can believe that she... I mean... he (richard) is on... and... so damn sweet! C'mon Jennie... shine more than the bald spots on Jennie's head. Jennie's dress was very green... I mean... super green and sparkly.... really green and sparkly... TW and I are wondering if she's alright... the dance wasn't perfect... and... wow.. the judges think the same as us... oof! A 24 to start...

The wardrobe people have figured out that Samantha looks best in dark colors like purple and black... and show of her mommy boobies.

Cameron Matheson and Edyta are up second... Dangit... I have said this before and I will say it again... I think Cameron is pretty darn cool and I like him. He can win... if Helio is unexpectedly thrown out. In his montage, he spoke with Kelly Monaco... Season 1 winner and ex Playboy Playmate... Using the Harry Potter theme music in the background... Cameron killed with the Vienese Waltz... or so we think... (Dursley reference by Tom!!! Thank you Tom...) They liked it too... in the weirdest compliments ever.... Three nines for a score of 27! (That 10 is so elusive...)

SIDE NOTE: I normally watch this show like a little girl with two of my girl friends Lori or Megan... and neither of them are online right now... Even TW thinks this is sad (depressing... not loser sad...)

Marie Osmond (porn!!!) is back and she's on tonight... even with the death of her father. I did a freeze frame of her face now and when the show started... it's at least three inches gone. I am sad for her and the loss of her father, but it's time to root against her since I think she is the worst of the dancers so far. Dammit... at the end of her piece she cried for her dad... oof... sad... I must be softening in my old age... Soo... I think the Rhumba might be the most boring dance in the world. Her dance seemed to end about 2 seconds too late and now Donny is crying for her and for his dead father... (She is totally not going home this week...) Carrie Ann is being honest and the crowd hates her for it... but she is being honest... so I gotta respect it. Let's see what she gets... 24... Watch out for the Mormon vote...

HELIO Castroneves!!!!!!!! and Juliane Hough are up next. Julianne brings in a "pit crew" to help train the race car driver. Get it? Julianne is awesome. He is dancing the Paso Doble... That dance always makes me nervous... It is supposed to require passion and I am not sure there was any... but let's see what the judges think. Everyone liked him, and I am guessing that they will get a high score... I was surprised by the 27... I thought for sure that he would have gotten at least one 10 with the comments.

Mel B is up. She only practices a couple of hours for each dance...and again... I must say... It is totally not fair that she is on this damn show!!!! I don't want to talk about it, but if you were to vote against her America... I would applaud you... MAKE A STATEMENT!!!! She was great... dammit. She also got a 27... the judges are being tough again. GOOD!!!

ROUND TWO!!!!!!!!!

Jennie Garth is up for her second dance... no more montages people... the dance was graceful and seemed fun at the same time. The judges are up and Carrie Ann is nitpicky today. Len is in love with her and Bruno was tough. I can't predict their scores... 26... interesting... Total score of 50 for the evening.

Cameron and Edyta are up and they are in some sort of wacky 70s outfits.. Edyta is thin. She is extremely thin... but usually wears outfits that disguise it. This outfit actually has me nervous about her health... VERY COOL head catching ending! The judges are all on their periods tonight... ROUGH ROUGH ROUGH on him. Scores? He got a 24 for a total score of 51.

Second dance for the Mormon you should vote out (Marie and her partner JOnathan). I wish she wasn't such a nice lady, I would totally be super mean about this. Anyway... this is easily one of the worst dances she has ever done... but I bet I will suffer and watch her get a 30. The judges agreed... 25 total with a night's score of 49 for the night.

Helio's outfit for the second dance totally makes him look like Jim Carrey's crazy character from The Mask. The outfit matches the music... I think the song was actually from The Mask. Not his best dance, but I still think it was fun and awesome... with a great ending. The scores matched the judges' enthusiasm and they scored a perfect 30. I just smiled hugely and I know at this point that the WORST they can do is tied for first. Their total is 57!

The last dance of the night is Mel B and if she gets a perfect 30, they will tie Helio. I am secretly wishing for a trip or fall coming down the stairs... no... such luck... those tattoos on her are so tacky. Hey... again... it was a good dance, but she doesn't belong on this show. Their scores... wow...! Carrie Ann gives them a nine and gives them a 29 -- with a night total of 56... Second Place.


I am going to shock you all with my prediction though... Cameron is going to go home... It just feels like his time. THe audience just doesn't pop for them... like everyone else.

Monday, November 12, 2007

One More Week

Book 54 of 52 -- Nicholas Sparks' The Choice

In 1996 Beaufort, North Carolina, thirtyish veterinarian Travis Parker enjoys his swinging singles lifestyle until physician assistant Gabrielle Holland moved next door.

At their first encounter, he is kind and welcoming, which frustrates her as she is angry with him.

Exacerbated with his neighborly greeting, she angrily accuses him of letting his wandering boxer Moby impregnate her collie Molly.

Besides that auspicious beginning, they are attracted to one another.

However, Travis fears commitments will destroy his lifestyle while Gabby is seeing longtime boyfriend Kevin; her choice will impact his.

Eleven years later, a car accident forces Travis to confront himself as he has a choice to make..

Told in two parts (1996 and 2007), THE CHOICE is a terrific look at a couple when they first met and a little more than a decade later.

Travis and Gabby are fully developed so that the audience appreciates the ups and downs of their relationship as if these are close friends or family.

The support cast like his father enhance how much the reader knows about the lead pair.

Nicholas Sparks is at his best as he provides a strong character driven tale based on the premise that love’s survival depends on choices people make.

God... I love me muh guilty pleasures...

Sunday, November 11, 2007


11 11 11 11 11 11 11 11

Saturday, November 10, 2007



1. If you are choking on an ice cube simply pour a cup of boiling water down your throat. Presto! The blockage will instantly remove itself.

2. Avoid cutting yourself slicing vegetables by getting someone else to hold while you chop.

3. Avoid arguments about lifting the toilet seat by using the sink.

4. For high blood pressure sufferers: simply cut yourself and bleed for a few minutes, thus reducing the pressure in your veins. Remember to use a timer.

5. A mouse trap, placed on top of your alarm clock, will prevent you from rolling over and going back to sleep after you hit the snooze button.

6. If you have a bad cough, take a large dose of laxatives, then you will be afraid to cough.

7. You only need two tools in life - WD-40 and Duct Tape. If it doesn't move and should, use the WD-40. If it shouldn't move and does, use duct tape.

8. Remember: Everyone seems normal until you get to know them.


Friday, November 09, 2007

Three Word Movie Reviews

Day Watch -- Wow! That's Cool

Deck the Halls -- Oooof... Stupid... Mediocrity

Fido -- That Was Fun!

Halloween (1978) -- Still A CLassic

Halloween II -- Silly Gore Fest

Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers -- Just Getting Silly Now...

Halloween 5 -- Oof... Nutty Michael

Halloween: The Curse of Michael Myers -- Worst of Nine

I Now Pronounce You Chuck and -- I Pronounce... Garbage!!!

In the Land of Women -- Too Much Estrogen

The L Word (Season 4) -- I LOVE IT!

License to Wed -- Worst 2007 Movie

Meet The Robinsons -- Decent Kid's Flick

Mr. Brooks -- WOAH! Pretty Good!

Night Watch -- Tense, Dark, Neat

Punch -- Artsy Canadian Goop

Saw IV -- Eh... It's Fine...

Spiderman 3 -- Enjoyed It... Fun

Talk to Me -- Talk to Hand

To Die in Jerusalem -- Powerful Sad Movie

Survivor China -- This Week's Boot...


As the great Mike Sexton says every week during World Poker Tour... "All in works every time... but once."

Thursday, November 08, 2007

11 Days!!!!!!!!!

Survivor China -- Eighth Week.... wow... 13 Total

(Quick reminders... 1. Erik and Jamie... loooooove each other. 2. Peigh-Gee is tiny. 3. Leslie has a mullet. 4. Todd is super duper gay. 5. Courtney weighs 2.5 pounds -- She lost a 1/2 pound this week. 7. Jean-Robert is a difficult turd.)

So... this last week's show was an episode I like so far.... and we are only a few seconds into it. Courtney's crappy personality that was pretty awesome in the first episode and disappeared from all editting is back in full force. "I dislike everyone else more than Todd and Amanda... and I think they mistake it for friendship." Hee hee... how stupid, but awesome television.

Sooo... as I was watching the previews... I realized that Amanda is running the show... Toddfather comes up with ideas and Amanda corrects them... never on screen, but it appears to be happenning.

The conversation between Courtney and Todd showed how absolutely smart Todd is and how incredibly insane Courtney is... I bet they drag her along to keep a negative person around.

SHUT THE HELL UP JAMIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! You are stupid as shit and it annoys me greatly.

Ok... you can play the Survivor Fantasy game for a chance to win one of two prizes... a trip to China... or a trip to the live Survivor finale. Ummmm.... that's a no brainer.

I love the fact that James... not the brightest bulb... but sweet called Jamie a "dummy" and then acted out how dumb Jamie would be if she used a "fake immunity" idol had me giggling big time...

I think the whole smelling new buffs thing made me laugh... Wow... that's excitement... for a new piece of small cloth.

Jean-Robert told Todd that if he gets screwed... he is going to hold it over Todd and that he will never get JR's vote. I swear this is foreshadowing... it is just to blatant an edit.

Is it my imagination or do all the women have buck teeth or close to it?

"She's on the small bike way in the back." Thank you Todd for that gem.

"I am very good at playing stupid..." Thank you Jamie for that gem. "I am not as dumb as I look." Thank you Jamie for that second gem.

They went an ENTIRE episode without mullet woman saying a frigging word.

Jamie played a fake immunity idol because... she isn't that smart at all. Jeff spoke to her rather condescendingly announcing that it wasn't an immunity idol and then casually tossed it into the fire. How frigging awesome is Jeff? Seriously... he is such an awesome guy.

Go Jeff!

Jamie is a member of the jury... then the prediction that it will be a three person final seems more probable... why would you want an 8 person jury...?

Thinking about the game... I am now up FIVE players in one game and three in the other.

I am going with Jean-Robert again.... I will get it right at some point because really... he ain't winning this thing.

Here's the picks... and... remember... the parenthesis indicate when they were picked in the draft.


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Todd (4)
3. Denise (5)
4. Peigh-Gee (8)
5. James (9)
6. Erik (12)
7. Dave (13) -- Booted Week 4
8. Leslie (16) -- Booted Week 3

1. Amanda (2)
3. Jean-Robert (6)
6. Frostie (11)
7. Jamie (14) -- BOOTED WEEK SEVEN!!!!
8. Sherea (15) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!
5. Aaron (10) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!!
2. Ashley (3) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
4. Steve (Chicken) (7) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Amanda (4)
3. Todd (5)
4. Denise (8)
5. Peigh-Gee (9)
6. Frostie (12)
7. Jean-Robert (13)
8. Sherea (16) -- Booted Week Six

1. Erik (2)
2. James (3)
3. Jamie (6) -- BOOTED WEEK SEVEN!!!!
6. Aaron (11) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!!
5. Dave (10) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
8. Leslie (15) -- BOOTED WEEK THREE!!!!
4. Ashley (7) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
7. Steve (14) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!

Wednesday, November 07, 2007

Dancing With The Stars -- Getting Booted in Week EIGHT!!

Sooo... I read this this morning... "Father of Osmond Family Singers Dies" I had two horrible thoughts:
1. Jane... why did you kill Marie's dad?
2. This is going to piss off Jane again... Marie topped her.
Aside from that... it is sad...


Live but dammit.. the sound isn't matching their voices... phew... it fixed itself. That was scary... even for a dancing show...

First couple saved...Marie & Jonathan... they made that announcement right away... that was nice... since Marie isn't there right now.

I have been making references to the Mormon theory of mine... that Marie is part of a major voting bloc... but.. I just found out that Julianne and Derek Hough are also Mormon... so I wonder.

Second couple saved... EDYTA and CAMERON! Phew... I like that... and my hate for Jane is back... GO away JANE.

Dance Center! (Part 1) Kenny Mayne is doing a funny take on Sportscenter. He cracks up me and Tangentwoman... a big deal... This is hilarious... simply hilarious...

The special dance segment this week was Rock Steady... some awesome Break Dancers... I miss Electric Boogalaoo....

Holy crap... a whole segment on how unpredictable this damn show is.

Third couple saved... Mel B and Maksim.

Couples in the bottom two -- No wait! No bottom two! They are just going to talk the rest of the couples through.

Fourth couple saved... Helio & Julianne!

Fifth couple saved... Jennie and Derek


JANE Seymour IS BOOTED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Who can I hate now?

Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Dancing With the Stars -- Week 8 (Holy Crap I Wrote a Lot)

Soo... the show hasn't begun yet... but I must say... I really enjoyed the booting of Sabrina last week so much that I am still giddy. This fact was re-enforced all week when I would over hear people talking about what a crime it was... so I would get kind of annoying and ask... Did you vote? No one said they did. So... Bingo... that's the problem.

Still before the show at this point... I just found out that since Sabrina is the little media whore that she is... she announced today that her and Mark are going to romantically date. Nice timing media whore...

Hey... it's starting...Tom reminded us that in the "topsy turvy world of ballroom... anything can happen..." I think something big happened... but if it was about someone important... I would care.

Thank you Tom... you have helped add balance to my life... with... LLLLLIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Holy crap... this episode is 1 hour and 45 minutes long. That's a lot of dancing...ahhh... two individual routines... that explains it... that's like twice the obnoxious blogs for you...

(Psssst Jane... eat this... *giggle* *giggle*)

Time to get into the Ballroom round...

Life is good again... Julianne Hough and Helio Castroneves are first... I am disappointed in him... he is wearing a "We Love You Sabrina" t-shirt... Now... for the dance... Julianne looks lovely... the music sucks... I hate the house band... but I suppose they really add to the overall cheesiness of the show... TW just pointed out that she has pink underpants on... *wink*... I had no idea. The dance was a bit vanilla... Len yelled at julianne... not Helio... interesting... Yay!!! Carrie Ann doesn't have her Aunt Flo in town! Oof... they were tough... 25 for the first score of the night.

Samantha reminds us that the reason that Sabrina was voted off... was because YOU... the audience didn't vote. She throws it back to TOm who has the line of the season... "And that whole global warming thing? That's your fault too."

Marie Osmond (porn) is up. Jonathan Roberts seems to notice how much weight she has lost... I have.. Marie has 9 kids. No wonder she is never at risk even though she has the lowest scores. She gives birth to all the votes. Oof... I totally think this is perhaps her worst dance.... She is pretty mediocre.. but there is a three person standing ovation that includes her husband and brother Donnie. I don't know my shit at all... the judges seem to love her. Poop. I am telling you... much like the Chinese... don't underestimate the Mormons. Her score? 28. Carrie Ann gave her a 10.

"Spice Girl" Mel B is up... and it's funny... most of the people that I talk to that are female think that her partner Maksim is the sexiest person in the world. Okie dokie... I don't get it since his personality is so poopy. She is a professional dancer people... and she just admitted it on television... does she really deserve to win? No dress for Mel B... just pants. Blech. Judges? Not good... oh well. They aren't getting a perfect score this week. Her score... 24.

Jane Seymour and her weak ass tummy is up next. I remember that in the beginning of the season... I thought that she was so sweet and demure... and classy... Now... I think she is incredibly smug and crappy. She is overdoing the relationship/friendship with Johnny Cash... She said this... "I think the greatest gift I have had on this show is coming back and dancing to Walk the Line." *SCREECHING HALT* WHat? I swear that the she said that the greatest gift for this show was dancing for her dead MOTHER! Screw you Jane... I am now actively rooting against you. You are the new that Sabrina is gone. Now... the we unpause the DVR and take a deep breath and watch the slowest Quick Step.... ever... (Oh shit! She's wearing June and Johnny's jewelry... screw you Manipulative Jerky Pants) Her score? 24... Tied for Last

Jennie Garth and Derek Hough are up... Jennie is still a normalish type woman and I think she is fun... her dancing is the most vanilla of the bunch... but I really like her... oh well... and I liked the dance... especially the end... and BLAMMO... the judges bust my bubble... oh well... I can't predict them anymore... Their score... 25... phew... not last.

Cameron Matheson and Edyta are up next. EDYTA!!!!!!! He was in the bottom two last week. That means that he really has to step up his game this week. That was as dumb as asking a coach why his team lost after a game. "Umm... we didn't score enough points and didn't play defense or offense as well as the other team." No shit. Why do I pretend to be surprised by Edyta's outfits? Cameron seems unsure of himself out there... that's a shame. I like him now... and I think he knows how much he messing up... but alas... His score? 24... it really could have been worse....


Julianne and Helio are back doing the Samba... Now... that's an outfit.... Thankfully... there are no more videos... just dancing. Bruno loved him! Carrie loved him! Len... ummm... that was hilarious... "Just because you are from Brazil...doesn't mean you are going to be good at the Samba... and just because you are from Texas doesn't mean you are going to be a good President!" WOOO HOOO!!!! GO LEN!!! His score? 27

Marie is up next... I know i have harped on Marie's weight loss this season... but even she shouldn't have worn this sexy all leg outfit... Watch this... I think the dance was dull and rigid. The judges will love it... Carrie wasn't a big fan... and neither did Len... Bruno told her that she peaked earlier in the night. Her score? 24

Mel and Maksim... bore me... let's see them dance... HOLY CRAP... what an outfit... TW said that she should get a 10 just for wearing that outfit. Welcome to a perfect score... and I bet the judges agree on that... they do!!!!

Jane Seymour is up... Dammit... I like Tony... I feel like he is spoiled to me... I have turned big time on her... blech... all the dancers are wearing paw print marks to honor the memory of Cheetah Girl Sabrina Bryan's departure... I don't see it on Jane... Get with the program SMUG FACE. Shit... she got a 26.


Jennie and Derek are doing this really awesome dance and there was a move where Jennie spun Derek very fast and then pulled him in so softly.... very cool move and teh Tangentwoman and I loved the dance... Nice comeback Jennie! (I think Jennie just cheated on her husband...) She got a 28...

Cameron and Edyta are back... Another tame for Edyta outfit. Wow... That was awesome... what an amazazing ending... Great dance and judges agree with us... score? 27...

My prediction for going home? I am going with Jane... until she is actually booted. She also has the lowest score.

Monday, November 05, 2007

Only Two More Weeks

Book 53 of 52 -- Michael Connelly's The Black Echo

Michael Connelly's The Black Echo is the first book for a new author for the Smelmooo.

This is an excellent first novel by Connelly and lays the groundwork for many of his later books while at the same time not compromising on a twisting and turning piece of suspense writing.

This is a fast moving novel which draws upon the authors’ knowledge of the criminal process following his three years working on the crime desk of the LA Times.

Some of the storyline twists are predictable while some are not, the only shame is that as with all books the number of pages left often tells you that the apparent resolution of the case is in fact a false dawn with a further twist still to come.

I would certainly recommend this book to anyone who enjoys crime thrillers and it is no secret that I’m an avid reader of all Connelly books.

Up Next -- The Choice by Nicholas Sparks

Sunday, November 04, 2007

Saturday, November 03, 2007

Happy Halloween -- A Joke...Late...Thanks Lori

An extremely modest man was in the hospital for a series of tests, the last of which had left his bodily systems extremely upset.

Upon making several false alarm trips to the bathroom, he decided the latest episode was another and stayed put. He suddenly filled his bed with diarrhea and was embarrassed beyond his ability to remain rational. In a complete loss of composure he jumped out of bed, gathered up the bed sheets, and threw them out the hospital window.

A drunk was walking by the hospital when the sheets landed on him. He started yelling, cursing, and swinging his arms violently trying to get the unknown things off, and ended up with the soiled sheets in a tangled pile at his feet.

As the drunk stood there, unsteady on his feet, staring down at the sheets, a hospital security guard (barely containing his laughter) who had watched the whole incident, walked up and asked, "What the heck is going on here?"

The drunk, still staring down replied: "I think I just beat the shit out of a ghost."

Friday, November 02, 2007

I Can Be a Total Bastard

Sooo... I put up an entry on Craiglist because I run an event and I have a few left over tickets to a sold out performance of Grease.

Since it is for the business I run, all I really wanted was face value.

I got this as one of the responses.

I would love to pay you full price. We just do not have the money. My ten year daughter and I have watched the reality show and voted for the cast members. I told my daughter that we could go and see them on Broadway. Unfortunately times are very tuff right now and we are trying to sell our home. With the market so slow and my husband job cut I am not able to make my daughter's dream of seeing Grease come true. Mortgage has to be paid. WE just do not have the funds right now. Please let me know if you can help. Many thanks

Ummmm.... what?

Here is what I WANT to respond with... is it too harsh?

What the hell are you talking about? You think that I am going to feel sorry for you? Jesus! Perhaps you shouldn't make promises to small children that you can't keep! Perhaps you should have thought more about what television shows you were watching and what kind of response your children would have after watching them. I suggest that you get a second job instead of hunting the internet looking for tickets. Exactly where are you looking for tickets? You could cut out your internet and computer usage for a few months and afford tickets. And just to add insult to injury, this is actually a fundraiser for the Make a Wish Foundation... so I suggest that you make up a disease for your kid and apply for this money there. Just a thought...

You don't even want to know what I have not written here....


So? a bit rough?


FIVE PREVIEWS!!!!!!!!!!!

Some actually looked good like the new Will Smith I AM LEGEND movie.

Great preview and if they pull it off, it could be amazing.

Thursday, November 01, 2007

Jamie Dugan Voted Off Survivor China

The MENSA member is gone.

Muh Wife.... is Away...

Thus... she undemoted herself.

Judging from her Stat Counter... no one figured it out.

*wink* *wink*

Survivor China -- Week Seven... It's Half Over For Goodness Sake

(Quick reminders... 1. Erik and Jamie... loooooove each other. 2. Smelmooo thinks Jamie is dopey. 3. Peigh-Gee is tiny. 4. Leslie has a mullet. 5. Todd is super duper gay. 6. Courtney weighs 3 pounds. 7. Jean-Robert is a difficult turd.)

About three seasons ago, Survivor started going into the show immediately after the "PREVIOUSLY.... ON... SURVIVOR!!!!!!!!" It made fast forwarding difficult and annoying.

It annoys me that the super strong and big and awesome James is at the mercy of a total of 185 pounds and one brain (Peigh-Fee and Jamie)

Amanda is now allowed to speak. So... that further supports my thoughts that she is going to win this frigging thing.

8 minutes into the show and they are already at a challenge. (Thank goodness Jeff Probst is wearing baseball hats and not one of his really stupid and outrageous hats. That has always been one of my biggest gripes about him.)

Charmin! I wonder if they paid for that placement... of course they did... it's China and we know that free enterprise is a big time thing there.

Courtney and Amanda are bathing together.... so that is as sexy as a hot girl taking a bath with a toothpick...

The hidden immunity idol search and subsequent pulling it off the wall drama with Amanda, Todd and Frosti was nerve wracking and painful to watch. It was very good television.

Subsequently watching smart Todd try to explain the strategy to James (who isn't the brightest) was equally painful... but... for the opposite painful reason. Ouch.

MULLETTTTTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! She hasn't spoken until now... sorry.

The immunity challenge was an eating challenge... Jamie was about to puke and I loved that Leslie was like "There's the puking... there's the vomit..." That was a funny trash talk....(You had to be there....) THen... Denise shits her own hat and can't even finish her baby bird. Blech. What a frigging shame.

I have never seen so many challenges thrown in my life.

The Toddfather... had his plan smashed... simply because Denise couldn't swallow a baby bird...

Yeah... I just made up.. the Toddfather... I need to copyright that as soon as possible! Can I do that? He thinks he is manipulating everyone... so... he is like a Godfather...

WOW! Awesome tribal council... I couldn't tell if the whole Todd/Courtney drama was real or fake.

In the end... someone had to go and it was Sherea. Too bad for her...

My prediction for tonight? Jean Robert -- He really has no friends at all.Possibly... Jamie... but I think Jean Robert.

Thinking about the game... I am now up FOUR players in one game and two in the other.

Here's the picks... and... remember... the parenthesis indicate when they were picked in the draft.


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Todd (4)
3. Denise (5)
4. Peigh-Gee (8)
5. James (9)
6. Erik (12)
7. Dave (13) -- Booted Week 4
8. Leslie (16) -- Booted Week 3

1. Amanda (2)
3. Jean-Robert (6)
6. Frostie (11)
7. Jamie (14)
8. Sherea (15) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX!!!!
5. Aaron (10) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!!
2. Ashley (3) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
4. Steve (Chicken) (7) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!


Tucker's Nuts

1. Courtney (1)
2. Amanda (4)
3. Todd (5)
4. Denise (8)
5. Peigh-Gee (9)
6. Frostie (12)
7. Jean-Robert (13)
8. Sherea (16) -- Booted Week Six

1. Erik (2)
2. James (3)
3. Jamie (6)
6. Aaron (11) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE!!!!
5. Dave (10) -- BOOTED WEEK FOUR!!!!
8. Leslie (15) -- BOOTED WEEK THREE!!!!
4. Ashley (7) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO!!!!!
7. Steve (14) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!