Tuesday, October 31, 2006

Halloween and Horror Movie Recommendations

Halloween is here and I have to admit that I love this holiday. I don't necessarily love the dressng up part or the candy part or the trick or treating part, but I love a whole bunch of other things.

I love that it means that it gets darker earlier... I love that it represents the smell of dead leaves on the ground that crunch when you walk on them. I love that it represents putting on a light jacket and visiting a scare fest someplace in a local town where you voluntarilly allow yourself to be spooked and you pay for it!

I guess what I am trying to say is that I love the months of October and November. The pumpkins and leaves of the same color make me smile and remind me of how awesome and beautiful Mother Nature is.

Who am I kidding... I really love it because it gives me a damn fine excuse to pull out some of my favorite horror movies. I got some wacky ones that I love too... as I have seen so many of them. I used to work in a video store on 10 hour shifts where we would get 5 or 6 customers a day. I watched everything I could in that store.

I decided to compile a list of some classic and not so classic horror movies that you might want to pick up this weekend from your local Blockbuster. Good luck if you are a Netflixer... I tried getting a few..but they are all of a sudden on the "Short Wait" list.

Legitimate Horror Movies

1. Fright Night -- The film stars Roddy McDowall as an Elvira type movie host who befriends a kid who has a vampire move into his neighborhood. The vampire is played by Chris Sarandon -- the evil Prince in the Princess Bride. the sequel is just as much fun, but the original is a cult classic. It is scary... and just fun.

2. The Shining -- Stanley Kubrick and Jack Nicholson combine to deviate from Stephen King's original book but create a movie that still makes me jump every time I see it. How can you not be scared every time those little girls ride the Big Wheels down the hallways that fill up with blood? Gets me every time...I will only watch this movie in the daytime.

3. NIghtmare on Elm Street -- The first one is truly a scary flick before Freddy became a national icon and favorite son of sorts. I refused to listen to my walkman and lie on my bed for almost two years after watching this film. Not good... not good... heck... in case you didn't know... Johnny Depp is in the original. Also... little known trivia... Kevin Bacon gets wasted in the first Friday the 13th.

Goofy Horror Movies

1. Dead Alive -- This is one of the original films that Peter Jackson of Lord of the Rings fame made in his home country of New Zealand. The cinematography is horrible because it was made for nothing, but you can see the sense of humor Jackson had when he made a movie about a "zombie virus" going around town and the kid that tries to keep all the zombies happy and living in his mom's house. The climax involves PUDDLES of blood but it is all cartoonish. Trust me... you can really see Jackson's genius in this early flick.

2. Evil Dead 2 -- Sam Raimi of Spider Man and Dark Man directorial fame directed the first one (truly scary and intense) and this second one with a budget. It is still a scary movie at parts but he allowed his buddy Bruce Campbell to show his goofy side as well. The whole three movie series is a hoot. The third one is entitled Army of Darkness and is more of a comedy.

3. Shocker -- Yeah... that's Skinner from X-Files who plays a psychotic killer that can go through power lines and kill whomever he wants. Yeah... Wes Craven directed it and yeah... it is supposeded to be scary... and yeah.. .it isn't... it is funnier than it should be... but it will make you jump a couple of times... not always at the plot but sometimes because of Peter Berg's horrible acting.


If you want to just watch glorified crap for Halloween, I recommend watching anything by Troma Films, Sorority Babes in the SLime Bowl A Rama or Slumber Party Massacre II (starring Crystal Bernard of the Wings)

I have so many other movies I could recommend if you want me to...

What is your favorite legitimate horror movie and fun horror movie? I want to hear someone say People Under the Stairs. Classic Misguided Wes Craven.

Monday, October 30, 2006


Can you friggin believe it?




I am a believer!!! It wasn't the prettiest game, but a win is a win.

Saturday, October 28, 2006

Friday, October 27, 2006

The Holidays are Here... How Do I Know?

The holidays are quickly approaching... how do I know?

-- Not because I have heard of any carols or anthems on the radio or commercial.

-- Not because I have seen any decorations yet in the stores -- they are still focussed on Halloween.

-- Not because I have already started a Christmas present shopping list.

-- Not because muh wife and I have already begun planning our Christmas Eve dinner...

No... not any of that...

I know it is coming because I am hearing a lot of commercials again for that International Star Registry company. CMON... why is this guy telling me to buy a star?

I really want to know how many stars this guy sells a year...

Anyone know?

Thursday, October 26, 2006

Gay Couples Get Rights in New Jersey

People like Tony can get rid of their beards...

Good for you Tony...

Good for you...

World's Greatest Radio Commercials

There are currently two radio commercials on the air that I hear all the time and they are extremely effective.

1. Cousins Paint Ball -- This is approximately 60 seconds long and there are no bells and whistles. It is basically a guy repeating over and over again... COUSINS PAINT BALL. Every once in awhile...he throws in the web address or bangs a gong... It is repetitive and I will never forget the name of the place. ANNOYINGLY PERFECT.

2. Outback Steakhouse -- The chain does a great job changing up its theme song every few months to reflect the holiday. It throws in a new group of Aussies singing how Outback Steakhouse is a terrific place to go on that particular holiday -- even Mother's Day. They have a new set of commercials and the song is just plain catchy. You can hear it here and clicking on the bottom left link that says Let's Go... even though it is the television version of it... and not the radio version... I can't get the "Let's go outback tonight...." la la la la... "Life will still be there tomorrow......."

If you see me and I sing this to you.. then you know I want to murder someone...

Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Some Random Thoughts....

Alrighty... here are a couple of random thoughts...since I am travelling t

I really get really really really annoyed when I see punk teenagers in real life or in the movies or television that have much nicer cell phones than I have. REALLY annoyed.

I am so thankful that I have a wonderful dog and family.

Season five of the A-Team killed it. They used to be criminals and fight for the rights of defenseless people. Season five saw the introduction of Robert Vaughn and put the A-Team through a court martial to start the season... the court martial episodes were great, but it just went to shit after that.

Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip annoys me in that I recognize the great writing and stuff, but it just leaves me feeling empty and/or unfulfilled. On the other end... I love 30 Rock because Alec Baldwin is the funniest person to hit the movies in a long time.

Halloween is around the corner and I encourage all you ladies to get costumes like these... Click here...

Heather Mills is a big stinking poopy headed liar pants.

Tuesday, October 24, 2006

New Best Campaign Sign Ever

Last year, I was in Connecticut when I took pictures of some of the weirdest names in campaign history. I even wrote a blog about it. Click here...

Heck... I even ... sort of met Zalman Nakhimovsky because of it... HELLO ZALMAN!!!!

This year is a pretty boring year in New Jersey politics... and I am excited to show you the most goofy sign ...

It's a REAL sign and I can't make this stuff up.

I really can't...

This is simply... MORE PROOF of how immature I am.

Monday, October 23, 2006


Poop on Cardinals...

Poop on Cardinals...

Poop on Cardinals...

Poop on Cardinals...

1 and 5 baby... 1 and 5....

Book 51 of 26 -- The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger

The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger is really a must read book.

I can't describe how wonderful this book really is. I was a bit skeptical from the beginning about this story of a man that travels through time ... naturally... and meets his wife.

It is a story of discovery... First... the wife meets the husband (future) as a child and discovers their relationship. Eventually, time catches up with them and then he gets to discover the relationship.

It is a sweet story with some action and misdirection thrown in.

It isn't told chronologically and the biggest criticism of the book is that it is sometimes confusing as to what time they are in, but that is the reader's fault if he/she isn't paying attention.

I asked a friend who also loved the book to write a five word book review.

Hers was -- Much More Than Time Travel
My first one is -- YOU MUST READ THIS BOOK
My second one is -- Magical Voyage of Discovery... Twice...

This is one of the most interesting books that I have read in a very long time... and makes reading good again.

Sunday, October 22, 2006





7 and 0 kids.... 7 and 0...

Funny Photos... Again... Part II

Saturday, October 21, 2006

Friday, October 20, 2006


Muh wife was out with one of our nieces in the past few years and she said "I am the boredest bored I have ever been." It is a great phrase and muh wife and I use it all the time...

And... that's how I am starting to feel about this season of Survivor... yet... I am still intrigued by the interaction and it is in a week or so when the game starts turning the nasty shade of black that I love.

I was expecting a much more dynamic group of people this year with the different groups but they have all proven to be uninteresting dolts. Even that wacky and interesting ones are... not...

But... to flip that, Survivor has gotten itself into a rut recently with its challenges. This year has been a bit of a turn around where they remain fair... but not impossible for "weaker" trips to win.

My favorite challenge so far involved tribes holding onto posts that another member of the tribe had to walk across. it required a lot of team work as the trip was pretty far... and .. it was in the ocean... very cool.

Here are more of my thoughts...

I also really liked the challenge just yesterday when they had a "wrestling" challenge. They crawled and brawled and wrestled and stuff. The opposing tribes had to get one of the other tribe members to let go of a pole and drag them to a finish line. Girls and guys.

Thank god Cowboy is off.... he was annoying the piss out of me.

I can't figure it out... but usually, people get dirties and grosser as they spend more time in the sun and dirt... but ... Parvati and even Jessica are getting cuter as the season goes along. Tangent Woman concurs...

It was kind of mean to not feed Cowboy even though he was part of the winning tribe.

Jeff wears the dumbest hats...


Reminder -- (The number in parenthesis represents the position in the draft they were chosen.)

Adam (1)
Yul (4)
Jenny (5)
Becky (8)
Ozzy (Oscar) (9)
Candice (13)
Rebecca (17)
Brad (20)
Sekou (16) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE
Side Bet
Caucasian Americans -- 5 Left
African Americans -- 4 Left

Sundra (3)
Nathan (6)
Jonathan (11)
Jessica (14)
Parvati (15)
Anh-Tuah (Cao Boi) (7) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX
Christina (10) -- BOOTED WEEK SIX
Stephanie (18) -- BOOTED WEEK FIVE
Cecilia (2) -- BOOTED WEEK THREE
Billy (19) -- BOOTED WEEK TWO
Side Bet
Hispanic Americans -- 1 Left
Asian Americans -- 4 Left

Thursday, October 19, 2006

Hey Minnams!!!!

I did surgery on myself tonight.

It was easy.... I fell on a spear... and then... surgically removed it...


Dear Heather Mills...

... quit your lies...

This is Paul Frigging McCartney...

Didn't Paul and Linda live on a farm happily for 20 years?

Heather sucks.

Three Word Movie Reviews

The 4400 (Season Two) -- Really Neat Premise

Adam & Steve -- Stupid.... Yet Amusing...

All About Eve -- All Around Classic

American Dreamz -- Silly, Fun Movie

The A-Team (Season 4) -- Lots of Fun

The A-Team (Season 5) -- Changed then... cancelled.

The Awful Truth (Season One) -- Witty, Yet Obnoxious

The Awful Truth (Season Two) -- More of Same

Click -- Stupid... Click Off...

Curious George -- Surprisingly Cute, Fun

Dead Zone (Season Two) -- Still Really Like

The Departed -- Must See Film

Double Indemnity -- Love This Movie!!!!

Down in the Valley -- Valley of Suckitudenosity

High School Musical -- Yeah.... I watched... :-(

Huff (Season One) -- Genuinely Good Time

Just Like Heaven -- Just One Laugh

Just My Luck -- Just Plain Shit

The Lake House -- Suprisingly Not Bad

Lucky Number Slevin -- Stupid contrived Hipness?

Penn & Teller's Bullshit (Season 3) -- I Love Bullshit.

A Prairie Home Companion -- Boredest Bored ... EVER...

Red Eye -- Still.... REALLY Fun

Stay Alive -- Normal Stupid Shlockfest

Stick It (Guest review by Tangent Woman) -- Sadly, sucked it.

Survivor Palau -- Still Detest Katie

Thief -- Dark, Gritty, Intense

Touch of Evil -- An Absolute Classic

The Wild --Goofy Kid's Fare

X-Men: The Last Stand -- I Hated It

Wednesday, October 18, 2006

Benchwarmers Quotes.

I can't help it. I am still laughing... WEEKS later after seeing Benchwarmers again.

It is a totally dumb movie with some of the best lines ever.

I have to share some of them with you...and... many of you won't laugh... but you should see them being said... totally laugh inducing...

"I am not picking (my nose...), I am scratching."
"What are you scratching... your brain?"
"Yeah... because it's huge!!!"

"Hold on a second, my mom is sending me a text message. No way... we're having macaroni tonight... that means garlic bread. AWESOME!"

"If we don't go now, that makes me a liar and that's not what I am about. Not now... not ever..."

"How's Pac Man treating you?"
"The red ghost is kicking my balls."

"I have yet to perfect the peel out." John Lovitz says when he goes the wrong way in KITT.

"That's funny. I didn't know that athlete had three syllables. Ath-e-lete. That's a-ma-za-zing."

"You guys think you are so smart because you know words."

"Can I have tuna fish with skittles and pudding skin on wheat with the crusts cut off?"

"I had 20 eyes closed strikeouts..... I'm frigging awesome."

"Richie told me about the killer loose in the neighborhood that only kills people named Howie... that's my name... that's my name..."

"I like... salad."

"And as I cowered in my peanut butter fort, he apologized."

Tuesday, October 17, 2006



19 in the country and 16 in the BCS standings.

Now..we face our toughest opponent yet... those nasty Pitt Panthers...


Books 49 & 50 of 26 -- Housekeeping vs The Dirt by Nick Hornby and Last Man Standing by David Baldacci

In a follow up to his book of essays entitled The Polysyllabic Spree, Nick Hornby published another set of essays in Housekeeping vs. The Dirt. These essays all appeared in a publication entitled The Believer.

Each month, Nick Hornby writes about the books that he purchased and the books that he read. He makes distinctions between "important" books and mass media books. One of the comments that I like is that he doesn't want to see a difference between the two because ultimately, it is about entertaining the reader... whatever the reader wants to read.

One of the hard things about reading a book of essays such as these is that they are often self serving. They are written in a way that makes it hard to follow the excitement of the author's enjoyment of a book -- especially if you haven't read what he has read.

On the flip side, the self serving part is entirely appropriate. Hornby loves what he reads... and the book is a celebration of the act of reading... no matter what he reads.

This book isn't for everybody... but it is an interesting read.

Book 50 was Last Man Standing by David Baldacci. I have very little to say about this book except that it seemed to drag and I was never too excited to pick it up. I am going to step away from this author for a bit and read some other books I recently picked up.

Peace be with all of you.

Monday, October 16, 2006

National Bosses Day

I got a card... did you?

Book 48 of 26 -- The Christmas Train by David Baldacci

The Christmas Train by David Baldacci is a pretty interesting short novel by my rather verbose chronological author David Baldacci.

On a train travelling across the country, we find an interesting blend of characters experiencing love, hate, crime, magic, and incredibly dangerous weather systems.

The book is a celebration of train travel. The characters all seem to celebrate the trip instead of the destination and I would have to agree. I love taking the train instead of a plane. When I travel on a train, I am separated from the world and I can truly relax.

The pitter patter of the train on the tracks... and the muted conversations of fellow passengers make the trip interesting and comforting.

The Christmas Train is a tight and well written story. It is the perfect book to read and finish when you are snowed in for the annual winter storm or for a holiday weekend when you have little to do but put away your presents.

I honestly might pull this book back out when it gets closer to Christmas... it seems appropriate to read it when the Christmas tree is up in the other room.

Sunday, October 15, 2006

Dumber Joke

A married couple in their early 60s was out celebrating their 35th wedding anniversary in a quiet, romantic little restaurant. Suddenly, a tiny yet beautiful fairy appeared on their table and said, "For being such an exemplary married couple to each other for all this time, I will grant you each a wish."

"Oh, I want to travel around the world with my darling husband," said the wife. The fairy waved her magic wand and "poof!" two tickets for the Queen Mary II luxury liner appeared in her hands. Then it was the husband's turn. He thought for a moment and said, "Well, this is all very romantic, but an opportunity like this will never come again.

I'm sorry my love, but my wish is to have a wife 30 years younger than me." The wife, and the fairy, were deeply disappointed, but a wish is a wish...... So the fairy waved her magic wand and "poof!" the husband became 92 years old.

The moral of the story: Men who are ungrateful bastards should remember
fairies are female.

Saturday, October 14, 2006

Dumb Joke

On their wedding night, the young bride approached her new husband and asked for $20.00 for their first lovemaking encounter. In his highly aroused state, her husband readily agreed.

This scenario was repeated each time they made love, for more than 30 years, with him thinking that it was a cute way for her to afford new clothes and other incidentals that she needed.

Arriving home around noon one day, she was surprised to find her husband in a very drunken state. During the next few minutes, he explained that his employer was going through a process of corporate downsizing, and he had been let go. It was unlikely that, at the age of 59, he'd be able to find another position that paid anywhere near what he'd been earning, and therefore, they were financially ruined.

Calmly, his wife handed him a bank book which showed more than thirty years of steady deposits and interest totaling nearly$1 million. Then she showed him certificates of deposits issued by the bank which were worth over $2 million, and informed him that they were one of the largest depositors in the bank.

She explained that for the more than three decades she had "charged" him for sex, these holdings had multiplied and these were the results of her savings and investments. Faced with evidence of cash and investments worth over $3 million, her husband was so astounded he could barely speak, but finally he found his voice and blurted out, "If I'd had any idea what you were doing, I would have given you all my business!"

That's when she shot him.

Sometimes, men just don't know when to keep their mouths shut.

Friday, October 13, 2006

Corey Lidle Jokes

You knew someone had to... and since I don't care... here you go.

1. Did you hear that the Yankees made a trade today? They traded Lidle to the Angels.

2. Apparently, Lidle CAN hit the broad side of a building.

Throw tomatoes here...

Book 47 of 26 -- The Confession by James McGreevey

Much like Michael Jackson or the Backstreet Boys, this book falls into the category of ... someone is buying The Confession by former Governor of New Jersey, James McGreevey, but no one seems to be confessing to it. Muh wife and I bought the book and I was the lucky person who got to read it first.

McGreevey made the rounds for the book and sold it as a "Confession" of sorts. I say of sorts because he sold the book as a confession of his homosexuality that he kept hidden for many years. I challenge this.

There is very little homosexual stuff in the book. The book focusses on a different kind of confession -- his political confessions -- admitting how he sold his soul to move ahead in the political world.

Yeah... there were the expected internal battles explanations of how he dealt with his homosexuality, but the meaty and juiciest parts of the book are when he describes how he worked significant pieces of legislation through. The compromises he had to make. The people he had to assuade. The changes that needed to be made. The demands he forced on others.

The book itself isn't that interesting until he runs for governor the first time. The first 75 pages or so is standard biography stuff told through rose colored glasses. It is self serving and boring. The rest of the book is on the intriguing side, but nothing earth shattering.

Enjoy the Confession. It's a confession of ppay to play politics more than a confession of a hidden homosexual living in a heterosexual world.

Thursday, October 12, 2006

Book 46 of 26 -- Wish You Well by David Baldacci

David Baldacci writes thrillers.

I love his political thrillers... I really do.

He has written a bunch and I know that he has a few more to go... but Wish You Well is such a departure from his political thrillers that it took me awhile to get into it.

This is a story about a pair of kids growing up suddenly without their parents. They have been raised in the city and are forced to live with their grandmother in the mountains of Virginia -- in a town where asphalt roads are a rare commodity.

It isn't a terrible book at all, but I feel empty for some reason.

The main reason I finished it was all the tremendous reviews it received. (This is probably Baldacci's most critically acclaimed novel.)

It's a neat view of the deep south and many of the prejudices and assumptions were evident, but they are nothing new to me.

I have heard of all the "terrible" things in the book and I just glossed over them since they weren't nearly that shocking.

Oh well... it is a nice book with a very happy ending after an extremely tragic beginning.

Give it a try if you wish.

Next up... Jim McGreevey's tell all book....

Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Annoying My Annoying Roommates

When I was in college, I only had a pair of roommates for all four years. I was lucky enough to get singles my last two years. Luckily, I chose the roommate my Sophomore year so I never really lived with strangers at college except my first year.

Immediately following college, I wanted to move out and I needed to find a place that was close to my first job in New Brunswick, NJ. I also needed one quick and I needed roommates since I wasn't going to be able to afford my own place. I went to a service and found a place with four college senior women.

They were alright, but there were two that drove me absolutely crazy.

Just to give you an example of how crazy one of them was, she SERIOUSLY believed that 85% of all babies born were boys. Doctors needed a way to balance out the population between men and women, so they would do surgery on them .... to balance it all out. SERIOUSLY.

They were also pretty inconsiderate so I found out ways to annoy them back. They included:

One of the girls was a vegetarian. She had made this choice because she felt that meat was murder. With a shared refridgerator and freezer, we co-mingled all of our items. I would go to the supermarket once or twice a week and buy meat -- mostly chicken -- in bulk, trim it, and store it into the freezer. It used to annoy her, but what was she really going to say?

The two women that lived on the second floor with me hated that the two upstairs would use the phone and leave the receiver in their bedroom overnight. They would then sleep in. It would mostly be me, but we had no problem with hitting the PAGE button until we found the phone. Translation: Until they groggily brought the phone down to the base. You would have thought that after a few times, they would have figured it out.... but noooo...

10 months into my 1 year lease with them saw me getting more ballsy with them. Two of them had a bad habit of using plates and never washing them. Myself and the other two women in the house would all take credit for the placement of the dirty dishes on their beds. It drove them nuts as all three of us said that we did it. They couldn't get angry at any of us. Heh heh... it was nuts.

Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Smelmooo = Luckiest Bastard Alive

I was walking around Fisherman's Wharf when I stopped by an NFL shop to pick something up for the Raiders game I was going to go.

As I was looking around, I watched the store attendants set up a table and chairs. They then took a huge banner and fastened it to the front of the table.

A hubbub of excitement began to stir at the store. I walked over to one of the dopes that worked there and I asked what was going on. He thought long and hard aobut how to use the English language.

"The Raiderettes are going to be here." he finally said.

"Really? When?" I retorted.

"Ummm... I guess in a few minutes," he responded.

"Awesome!" I exclaimed.

"I suppose so."

I hung around and waited for the Raiderettes. They showed up and did some autographs for people. I waited diligently on line with them. It came to be my turn and I spoke to them for a few minutes. I then asked them to be photographed with me. They smiled and happily obliged.

That really made my day. I couldn't have cared less if it was any other team's cheerleaders, but it was my Raiders and I was happy to meet them while I was in the area!

I have made it a policy to not put my actual picture on the blog and I will keep it up here. This is an altered picture, but trust me... it is me.

For those of you that are friends of mine, you know where you can find them or you can ask me for a copy.

hubba hubba.

Monday, October 09, 2006

Happy Anniversary to Me and Tangent Woman

Two Whole Years.

It seems just like yesterday, you picked me up and internet stalked me.

It seems... just like yesterday...

Click here...

Book 45 of 26 -- Saving Faith by David Baldacci

First of all..... CRRRRAAAAPPPPP. There... I said it. I can't get the stupid pictures to load on this stupid blogger.

Now I feel all better. I have slowed down a bit with the reading because work has gotten a lot busier and I am setting up lots of early morning meetings, which means that my main place for reading -- the gym -- is not possible.

For those of you that think that Early Morning means 9... then you are mistaken. In my job, early morning means 7 and 7:30.

Saving Faith is the latest book in order that I am reading by David Baldacci.

This isn't one of those books that mixes around with its title. There is a chick named Faith and she is mixed up/caught in the crossfire of same bad stuff.

The whole book is about a fella who unwittingly stumbles across Faith and this mix up and saves her life.

Cmon... do you really expect her to die? I mean...seriously... of course he is successful! Why would I read 550+ pages just to have the chick die...

You gotta be kidding me.

It was a fun ride nonetheless and a decent mystery.

Next up -- Wish You Well by David Baldacci. It ain't a thriller... but some sort of drama...

Sunday, October 08, 2006

Saturday, October 07, 2006