Wednesday, October 11, 2006

Annoying My Annoying Roommates

When I was in college, I only had a pair of roommates for all four years. I was lucky enough to get singles my last two years. Luckily, I chose the roommate my Sophomore year so I never really lived with strangers at college except my first year.

Immediately following college, I wanted to move out and I needed to find a place that was close to my first job in New Brunswick, NJ. I also needed one quick and I needed roommates since I wasn't going to be able to afford my own place. I went to a service and found a place with four college senior women.

They were alright, but there were two that drove me absolutely crazy.

Just to give you an example of how crazy one of them was, she SERIOUSLY believed that 85% of all babies born were boys. Doctors needed a way to balance out the population between men and women, so they would do surgery on them .... to balance it all out. SERIOUSLY.

They were also pretty inconsiderate so I found out ways to annoy them back. They included:

One of the girls was a vegetarian. She had made this choice because she felt that meat was murder. With a shared refridgerator and freezer, we co-mingled all of our items. I would go to the supermarket once or twice a week and buy meat -- mostly chicken -- in bulk, trim it, and store it into the freezer. It used to annoy her, but what was she really going to say?

The two women that lived on the second floor with me hated that the two upstairs would use the phone and leave the receiver in their bedroom overnight. They would then sleep in. It would mostly be me, but we had no problem with hitting the PAGE button until we found the phone. Translation: Until they groggily brought the phone down to the base. You would have thought that after a few times, they would have figured it out.... but noooo...

10 months into my 1 year lease with them saw me getting more ballsy with them. Two of them had a bad habit of using plates and never washing them. Myself and the other two women in the house would all take credit for the placement of the dirty dishes on their beds. It drove them nuts as all three of us said that we did it. They couldn't get angry at any of us. Heh heh... it was nuts.

3 comments:

steakbellie said...

I have so many ideas about this:

wasnt this originally called "Three's Company" or something?

They totally thought you were gay...huh?

Did you ever get bathroom time?

What if you had to take like the most noxious dump after a night of beer and Greese Trucks?

Did they ever get annoyed with you laying on the couch every night reading like 5 or 6 hundred pages of a Steve Martin book?

Did you ever come home and they were having a pillow fight in their underwear? Please elaborate

Smelmooo said...

Duder...

Three's Company had hot chicks... these chicks... were... uhh... not hot... or even.. homely...

They did not think I was gay... in fact... they thought I was a bit of an asshole because I was dating at that point and would go out with different women... they thought I should settle down at 22.

I was the only one working... so I got bathroom time.. every morning... easily.

Yes... and with two bathrooms... we were fine...

In reference to the pillow fight... the answer is no.. and thank goodness... see the first answer.

Anonymous said...

i recall you telling the story of annoying another roommate of yours by placing some sort of liquid on the telephone receiver??? you should have tried that with these girls