Monday, September 29, 2008

Survivor Gabon -- 17 Seasons? Holy Crap!

So... for years, I think that CBS has actively given Survivor the shaft to try and kill it by NOT giving it a proper first night.

They have been burying it with unseen one hour debuts on random THursday evenings, but this week, they came out of the game at full speed and started it with a 2 hour premiere on the same night that My Name is Earl, Ugly Betty, and The Office all started.

So here we are at 17 seasons (8 1/2 years) and I am still looking forward to it. The best part is that it is in HD for the first time and the show starts with some awesome animal footage.


The players are dropped off in their street clothes and of course... you have the couple of dumb chicks who are wearing very little. Seriously... when will you learn?

We have a new beginning to the show where each of the players stands around The race beginsintroducing themselves and get some insight into them. Tradition dictates that the elders are to make the decisions so Jillian and Bob are directed to play a game of pick em by choosing tribes. They are picking people based on very little information and they don't even know each other's names. It is both awkward and confusing.

Michelle is left last and feels silly...

They are immediatly told that thye have to compete in a challenge where they have to race to the top of the hill. It is for immunity and essential. The first team's player to get there wins immunity for himself. The first entire team to get up to the top ensures lots of extra food for the players... on the team. Marcus wins immunity for his team and GC wins it for his team. This is now a race for extra food and Koda is the winner.

It's time to get to know the players ...

Bob's from Maine and he's pretty handy.
Jillian is old... and picks up elephant dung with her bare hands and shows it around to everyone.
Sugar (Jessica) is a cute pin up model with fake hair and laughs annoyingly.
Ken is a super shy fella, but you can tell that he and Michelle are hitting it off... even if she is too cute for him. I am getting a bad feeling about that relationship.
Ace is VERY Britishish...and REALLY Likes himself. Arrogant? Confident? Too much bravado? Ding Ding Ding
Charlie looks exactly like the last two gay reality show fellas I have watched. Booby on the Mole and Todd on the show Survivor. Charlie looooooves Marcus.
Randy has a bloody head at night because he banged the hell out of his head. It's gross. Medical comes to take a look and they give him some stitches. They are going to watch him and I care less about him and more about the fact that he is on my team.
Michelle is a funny chick, but she is a bit whiny because she is "cold". She isn't long for this game.

It's now time for the first immunity challenge. It's .... a... RACE! 6 tribe members are tied togets adn must work together through a series of obstacles. The final three people have to solve a puzzle. Kota... the pretty tribe... vs... Fang.. the more athletic tribe. (P.S. Bob.. the older physics teacher from Maine... is still wearing his bow tie.) During the race... Jeff is especailly abusive and tauntingy-ing.

Kota wins... and I am guessing that the old lady Gillian is going home.

The negotiations begin and the early choice look to be Michelle, but Randy and others seems to like the idea of Gillian. The ominous walk to Tribal Council begins and Jeff reminds us that FIRE REPRESENTS YOUR LIFE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I did not know that.

Jeff begins to earn his best reality tv show host Emmy award and drills the players. The theme here is that Michelle is annoying and everyone else is pissed at her for being a "Negative Nancy."

The bitterness and the inability to bond is apparent and GC is chosen as the leader in a wacky and odd exchange... let's get to the vote and get rid of one of these pains in the asses.

Here come the votes... Michelle, Gillian, Michelle, Michelle, Michelle, Michelle. Bye Bye Michelle and your cool tattoos... now Ken has to fall in love with someone else.

Crap.. she's mine.


GC is apprehensive about being the leader, but gets right into making fire for the group.

Charlie swoons over Uber Heterosexual Marcus and their alliance and conversations are a bit awkward to me. We continue to get some insight into the players including Randy who is all about letting people "Crash & Burn".

Corinne is scheming and seems to have alligned Marcus, Jacque, Charlie and herself into a 4 person alliance.

Fang... CANNOT GET ALONG... they are quickly in the running for the worst tribe ever. GC quits as leader. The conversation switches to figuring out who is the next leader. No one is chosen, but before the next challenge, Dan gets the idea of painting everyone's face with charcoal.

Immunity & reward are back up for grabs... and the tribes must push a huge ball through some gates and pick up some keys and do some other stuff. IT'S A RACE.

The twist! The winning tribe chooses someone to go to Exile Island... that's the same twist as last time.

The race begins and Jeff taunts everyone. Kota takes a lead and can't get their ball on the pedastel right away so some drama is created... but... alas... Kota wins in the last second. Dan is chosen to go to Exile Island.

I think Bob and Marcus might be two of the best guys ever on this show and they are the exact opposites of each other.

Dan the lawyer is on the island and the REAL twist to Exile Island is that he has to choose between a clue to an immunity idol or comfort. (Because... this IS Earth's Last Eden... get it? clue... versus the "apple"? Still don't get it? Dummy.) We get lots of footage of Dan looking for the idol in the "sandy crater" and he digs and digs... and the editors keep showing us the sandy crater. Dan's the new dummy... not you.

Some alliances are finally developing... and they finally recognize that Gillian is the problem... while she is trying to distract everyone with Ken. Dan is also considered for the chopping block.

Tribal Council is interesting as this team continues to have a lack of unity.

The game is the same, and MB and I have completed a draft. This season, I have gone with the absolute random and drawn people's names out of a hat to see who I want to win. I have been fortunate with this strategy before and I hope to win again! It's down to Dan and Gillian... the tribe will have to decide whether or not they think Dan found the idol.

The votes come in Gillian, Ken, Gillian, Gillian, Gillian, Gillian...

Bye Bye Gillian....

Tucker's Nuts
1. Charlie Herschel(1)
2. Paloma Soto-Castillo(4)
3. Jacque Berg(5)
5. Susie Smith(9)
6. Matty Whitmore(12)
7. Randy Bailey(13)
8. Bob Crowley(16)
9. Jessica Kiper(17)
4. Michelle Chase(8) -- Booted Week One

Assshfault Warriors
1. Ken Hoang (2)
2. Dan Kay (3)
3. Corinne Kaplan (6)
4. Ace Gordon (7)
5. Kelly Czarnecki(10)
6. Danny Brown aka GC (11)
7. Crystal Cox(14)
8. Marcus Lehman(15)
9. Gillian Larson(18) -- BOOTED WEEK ONE!!!!!

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