Tuesday, May 12, 2009

Dancing With the Stars Semifinals



Ok... TWO HOURS? Last week was two hours and they reallllly stretched it. Now... there are two less dances to watch and it will still be two hours? Ooof.

Time to get me excited and it's... the week after they booted the BIONIC BOOTY! And... I am still giddy. :)

Sooo... Let's start killing time with some professional dancers ... and I know that we will be killing time by watching How I Met Your Mother and 24 in the middle... so this won't be too live... for us.

The parade of stars... just four of them and thankfully... none of them are Lil Kim... 9 have been booted and these four are dancing in the semi-finals.

MEMORY LANE.... UGH....

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani are up first and Melissa and Tony are revewing their season and dances from the season. This is ridiculously boring and I want to poke Perez Hilton in the eye. Melissa is too wacky and Tony is too nice. They reviewed their Foxtrot and Samba. They are going to dance a Cha Cha tonight.

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke review their season too. They liked their Fox Trot and their Paso Doble. Tonight... they will be dancing the Waltz.

Commercial? No Yankees game? This is bullshit.

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas are up third... and what do they like? They liked their Quick Step. I keep hearing the words "Turning Point" being used. I am also getting to hear just how odd Mark Ballas is. He's incredibly talented and a great choreographer, but he's nuts. They also liked their Paso Doble... another "turning point... "

Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower remember last... and they really liked their Quick Step... that's the dance that they missed their high five... and that's also the dance where Harold Wheeler's singers destroyed Life is a Highway. Assholes. The other dance they liked was the Lindy Hop.

BALLROOM ROUND

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani are finally dancing at 8:30 and I am annoyed that I had to wait this long. They are dancing the Cha Cha and the Quick Step this week. Tony lets us know that this week is really really important becase it is the semi-finals. Duh... Mr. Vanilla Nicey Pants. They come out to the Quick Step first. It's a nice dance and she is really a great dancer, but she isn't a star ... and she admitted it herself. All the judges thought it was nice, but Bruno and Carrie Ann thought it was nice, but not great. The scores are 9, 10, 9 for a total of 28.

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke are up to dance third and they will be dancing the Waltz and the Salsa. Cheryl brings in Jonathan Roberts to teach him how to be sexy. He might be the gayest straight man in the world. That is absurd to me. THe dance is sweet and slow and tender, but we shall see what the judges think. Bruno stood up and yelled incomprehensible words... which means he loved it. Carrie thought it was breathtaking. The scores are 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30.

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas are up third. They took some gambles last week and got some decent scores and tried to impress the audience. This week, they are dancing the Jive and the Argentine Tango. To start the night, she is dancing the Argentine Tango. In her video montage, she was really nerbous about jumping at the right moments. She seemed to hit them all correctly during the dance... and it was kind of cool. Carrie Ann loved it. Len thought it was her best performance yet. Of course, Bruno loved it and somehow... in his ramblings he threw in a Falco reference. The scores are 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30.

Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower come in last for the night. Ty ... in his video... is so completely self aware of himself that it is cute and amusing (I know LA doesn't agree.) They are dancing the Samba and Ty is practicing shaking his butt. He will also be dancing the Viennese Waltz, which will be the first dance tonight. It was one of his best dances of teh year. Len gives some compliments and says it is nice. Bruno thinks it isn't a SemiFinal worthy dance and gets booed out of the room. Carrie Ann says some nice things and then throws in her "but" with some criticism. The scores are 8, 9, 8 for a total of 25.

VIDEO MONTAGE We are learning about heir backgrounds and family life. This is both interesting and annoying.

LATIN ROUND

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani are up to dance the Cha Cha Cha. My wife and I are entertained tha they are working the costume around her tramp stamp. The dance didn't seem on at all... not very crisp. About a 1/2 step off the whole dance. Bruno admits that she was both sensational and yet... didn't keep her energy the whole song. Carrie Ann agrees. Len liked it, but not as much as he wanted to. The scores are 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27.

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke are up next and we look into Gilles' life in France. They are dancing the Salsa. What the hell is this song? and what the hell did they do to it? Dance seemed perfectly good to me and TW, so let's see. Carrie Ann needs a pill. That was a stand up cheer for that. Len is "almost speechless" and he wishes that he had an "11 paddle." The scores are 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30.

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas come in third and we learn that Shawn grew up in Des Moines, IA and her mom and dad are interviewed. The video of her as a tiny tiny tiny person doing gymnastics are adorable. They are dancing the Jive and her poor outfit is horrific. HORRIFIC. The dance starts and something seems pretty off... but it's still far better than I could ever do. Len thought it was good, but too much slapstick and messing about. Bruno likes it when she goes wild. Not perfect, but good. Carrie thought it ended in mud, but still a good performance. (slight boos.... hrmmm.... ) The scores are 9, 8, 9 for a total of 26.

Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower dance last in the Season 8 Semi Finals. Time to get his history and Jewel actually seems like a pleasant individual. They are dancing the Samba and they are suffering from having to do it not too long after Gilles perfect one. Bruno is just mean and his jokes don't work. Carrie Ann thinks he tries so hard and says nothing about the dance. Len doesn't like the Latin dance here. The scores are 8, 7, 8 for a total of 23.

Scores... Just a reminder!

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke -- 30 + 30 = 60
Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas -- 30 + 26 = 56
Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani -- 28 + 27 = 55
Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower -- 25 + 23 = 48

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