Tuesday, May 05, 2009

Dancing WIth the Stars!!!!!!!!! (Week 9)

So I look at the DVR and I see that this episode is going to be back to the two hours that it was a few weeks ago Sometimes... I can only take so much... but I am reminded by my wife that these superstars of the world are going to be dancing two dances this week.

BBC AMERICA!?!?!?! I wish I had that... thanks for reminding me ABC that I don't have it...


Tonight... in a Make or Break night... they will have to do two new dances AND they must dance a solo in the Latin Dance. Sucker bitches....

The night begins with some professional dancers dancing a simultaneous dance... sooo... Loyal Reader... this is how you fill two hours. (Currently... we are live and I can't fast forward... that will be rectified a little while later when we are watching How I Met Your Mother... )

And NOW... the dancers come down the stairs... starting with that turd... you know her as... Lil Kim... blech.

Sit back Loyal Reader... I am feeling somewhat vicious tonight because of a run-in at work.

WHAT THE F*CK? A Video Montage.... now? Screw you ABC! The judges are nitpicking and telling us what they are going to nitpick about tonight.


Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas come in first and they are dancing the Quick Step and Shawn is challenged to stay graceful and be fast. She cries a lot and I can't help but think.... "Baby..."... she is 1/2 my age.. ok... just left than half. They are dancing to a song from Aladdin... and I am annoyed at the butcherin' of a great song. "Friend Like Me" It does distract me from the dancing which I really liked. Len thought it was fun and entertaining. Good for her... but... he thinks they didn't follow the rules... about breaking the hold. Bruno liked it and Carrie Ann thought it was her best dance ever... but will give her a nine for breaking the rules. The scores are 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27.

Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower will be dancing the Argentine Tango first and his video was short and to the point. He's going to work really, really really hard. The whole dance was decent, but both TW and I were cringing at certain lifts. Bruno thought it was decent, and Carrie Ann comments about how he has come far, but he wasn't perfect. Len loved it. The scores are 8, 9, 8 for a total of 25.

Lil Kim & Derek Hough are up third and Lil Kim is a hooker based up her oufits. She doesn't want to dance ballroom dances like the Waltz, but she wants to be the "Complete Ballroom Package." Harold Wheeler and his merry band of misfits seems to be fucking with yet another song. It was boring and nothing special. Carrie Ann is ubercritical. Good for her. Bruno is DEAD ON..... "You tried to be a lady, but you are more comfortable being a tramp." Bless you Bruno... Bless you for saying it perfectly. The dance is boring and the scores are 8, 9, 8 for a total of 25.

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke are up and I have turned 180 on Gilles. I like him, but I am hating on Cheryl. I would hate to be her partner. They go watch some professionals dance... and somehow... he is feeling more comfortable for his Foxtrot. 15 seconds into the dance, it's already better than Lil Kim's dance. It's slow and passionate. The song is the best one of the night so far... "Fever" and that is hard to do. Well done dance. It deserves some really high scores. Len isn't entirely favorable, even though he liked the dance. Of course Bruno liked it a lot as did Carrie Ann... The scores are 10, 9, 10 for a total of 29.

VIDEO MONTAGE... one I am excited about. It is a preview of tomorrow night's DanceCenter with Kenny Mayne.

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani are next... Hey... do you remember that she was hurt last week? I did... but yet... they keep reminding us... So... the whole video is about being delicate around her... Boooooooring... They are dancing the Viennese Waltz this week. It's a beautiful dance that just seems to be missing something... so I am sure she will get big scores for her "comeback." *yawn*... The judges liked it, but they were critical. Fantastic!!! Len was the nicest. The scores are 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27.

Some video about the pro's competing... fast forward!

LATIN ROUND!!!! -- Time for some video thoughts and a reminder that each dancer has to do 15 seconds on their own.

Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas makes me giggly by trying out herself at the Paso Doble. She can't be cute doing this! She can't help but laugh a lot. This ought to be interesting. We think the dance started with her solo, but we aren't sure. She's certainly a lot meaner and stern duriong the dance. THe beginning WAS her solo and it was pretty good. Fierce... as LA would say... Carrie Ann loved it. Len thought the dancing was good, but didn't think it was over-exciting. Shawn is visibly upset by this and so was Mark. Len seems overly critical, but Bruno judges her correctly. The scores are 10, 9, 10 for a total of 29 (See the TOTAL total below... ).

Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower are up again and they are dancing the Rumba. He doesn't feel strong about it, but let's get cracking. The video is actually hilarious. Ty has a good sense of humor... even though he has no delivery. This is the worst rendition of a Tom Petty song ever. He is trying so hard and itisn't working for him. He ends it on an awkward him shake in front of his wife... and yet... it is bad... but I get the feeling that he knows he is going out... so he goofed it out a bit... At least I am hoping so. The scores are 7, 7, 7 for a total of 21(See the TOTAL total below... ).

Lil Kim & Derek Hough are up for their second dance and they are dancing the Salsa. This should be a better dance for her since she can shake her crappy slutty moneymaker. She is gonna shake her "Bionic Booty." Fuck her... especially since she got mad about being called a tramp. She's just disgusting and I am going to have to disown you friends that like her. I really might have to. Bruno loved it. Carrie thought it was out of control. Len mentioned Spotted Dick... uhhh.... In all seriousness... the blacks in the audience unfairly tried to intimidate the judges with their chanting. The scores are 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27(See the TOTAL total below... ).

Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke will be trying out the Rumba. Frenchie can't wait to show us his Latin Lover... didn't he already do that in Sex and the City: The Movie? Get it? MWAH HA HA HA HA.... He gets a great song (still poorly performed).. Marvin Gaye's Sexual Healing. Well done. Carrie Ann thought it was hot, but self indulgent. The other two weren't too enamoured either. The scores are 9, 9, 9 for a total of 27(See the TOTAL total below... ).

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani are dancing the Samba. The last dance of the night. WHAT?!?!!?!? During the video montage... Tony gives her the news about the 15 second solo. She says... "I am not a celebrity... so can I get out of this on a technicality?" Bingo. Enough said. Be back after the dance is over. Len loved it. Bruno loved it. Carrie Ann thought it was perfect. The scores are 10, 10, 10 for a total of 30 (See the TOTAL total below... ).

Scores... Just a reminder!

Melissa Rycroft & Tony Dovolani -- 27 + 30 = 57
Gilles Marini & Cheryl Burke -- 29 + 27 = 56
Shawn Johnson & Mark Ballas -- 27 + 29 = 56
Lil Kim & Derek Hough -- 25 + 27 = 52
Ty Murray & Chelsie Hightower -- 25 + 21 = 46

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

Wow...you were in rare form for this run-down, eh? ;)

I agree with you about Cheryl. When did she become such a major beeotch?

Is it just me, or is Chelsie's dancing a little sub-par compared to the other professionals?

I miss Edyta. I also miss Maks.

And you will NOT disown me. That would mean all contact with your boyfriend would be cut off, and we all know THAT won't happen!!

Tell your wife she needs to blog again - it's been too long (Hi, Tangentwoman!).