TOP FIVE TUESDAY!!!

Top Five Funnest Things About the Weekend
1. Three Hot Dog Johnny's Hot Dogs
2. Doing absolutely nothing on Monday but yard work, watch a parade and hang out with muh wife.
3. Grilling... every single day.
4. Watching my next door neighbor wander the streets.
5. Watching the creepy neighbor from a couple of doors down pick and sort the scrap wood of my next door neighbor who is getting their house added onto.

Top Five Surprises of the Weekend
1. My CD single of "We Like To Party" by the Venga Boys sold on eBay for more than I paid for it originally.
2. Mike's dog is able to leap like 3 feet in the air and catch a tennis ball in her mouth. She is 14 pounds.
3. Sitting in the front room with a book and a comfy chair with the wind blowing on you can actually make you sleepy.
4. Dirt is easily manipulated with a metal rake.
5. I really liked Empire Falls...although.. I still want to poke Helen Hunt with a hot poker.

Top Five Movies We (I) Watched This Weekend
1. CRASH -- THis is a must see. See it now.
2. InterMission
3. Empire Falls - Part I
4. Around the World in 80 Days
5. Empire Falls - Part II

Top Five Reasons Why I am Excited that Miss Canada Won the Miss Universe Pageant
1. Molson Canadian as the Miss Universe Official Beer Sponsor!
2. Stupid "Eh!" jokes all year round!
3. Bob and Doug Makenzie will be coming out of retirement.
4. I can cheer for a new Canadian... I was getting tired of rooting for Peter Jennings, Michael J. Fox, and Alex Trebek.
5. She is/was a hottie pants.

Top Five Neat Things About Being Asked to Serve On An Advisory Panel
1. I don't have to plan anything..
2. People actually listen to what you have to offer.
3. Looks good on the resume.
4. For me... it is for a school, so I get to see the direct result of my suggestions.
5. Paterson is a fun place to visit!

Top Five Greatest Reasons To Run Naked Through the Streets
1. You too... can be just like Will Ferrel in Old School. The girls will flock!
2. You are in a bitter divorce battle and you need to show just cause as to what she has done to drive you completely insane.
3. People let you alone.
4. People are completely taken... aback... especially since it was a parade.
5. Graduation STREAKING!!!!

Happy Memorial Day

We took Tucker to see a parade today. He stared intently and shook petrifiedly (new word) at some things.

We can add a few things to a list of things that he doesn't like:

1. Fire Trucks
2. The silly police officer who gave me a ticket for parking illegally even though I had the frigging permit! (Maybe I am taking creative license with this one.)
3. Bag pipes
4. Marching Bands
5. Valerie's Twirlers (I think the majority of the baton twirlers were over 45.

Have a great holiday.

Happy Thoughts On a Gorgeous Sunday Afternoon

1. Only one more flowerbed to go and I am finished with fixing the yard. I finished two today that included mulching and removing... I feel accomplished.

2. Mike brought his dog over today and it was fun watching Tucker play with her as they are similar in size. Great times.

3. I grilled some chicken for lunch. It was a nice change of pace.

4. I watched the recent remake of Around the World in 80 Days. It was much better than I thought it would be. Great for kids and Jackie Chan kicks toosh.

5. How happy does Fudge Tracks ice cream make me? Very...

6. I saw that Nick Hornby's new book (A Long Way Down) got a perfect review in a mass media publication. That makes my day... as it comes out in 8 days.

7. I am off tomorrow. :)


5.

People Are Such Sheep

Come on people... cut it out.

Just because Tom Cruise is dating Katie Holmes, it doesn't mean that she belongs on the cover of magazines and it doesn't mean that you have to squeal like little children when Tom talks about her on Oprah.

Her current claim to fame and the cover of THREE magazines this morning at the store is a direct result of her BANGING one person and not because of any talent or anything...

Please rebel everyone and don't let them feed you this...!!!

Amusing Thoughts on a Friday

1. Coke has a bottle cap game. 1 in 12 people win a free Diet Coke. So... I have won 2 "1 Liter Diet Coke Products." Can anyone tell me where they sell 1-Liter Diet Coke products? They have the 1 1/2 liters, the 2 liters and the 20 oz bottles, but I cannot seem to find a place that sells the 1 Liters... That just sucks.

2. One of the perks of shopping at a grocery store and using the club cards is to see how much muh wife and I have saved over the year and how much we have spent. It puts a lot of things into perspective. Our store's computer system has been down recently and it has been unable to tell us the totals, but it claims it is accruing all the information. It better be... that's all I gotta say or there will be hell to pay!!!

3. I was watching a weird 1/2 hour on ESPN the other day. It was the PBAs "trick" bowling show. That's right, there was a tournament of head to had contests where bowlers were basically playing horse. One bowler would do a funky trick like throw a strike but the ball had to go through four chair legs or something and the first one to three would win. IT WAS SUPER FUN TO WATCH... because of its complete lameness.

4. While watching the bowling... this was actually said... ""When it comes to throwing balls through chair legs, that's the man!!!"

5. During the bowling show, the announcer was named Randy.. and he rated each shot for difficulty... with his... RANDY RATING!!! Insane.

6. I went to the gym today and I get so irritated at the young people... or should I say... able bodied people... that take the elevator up to the third floor to the fitness center. You are at the gym... take the stairs and leave the elevator to the seniors and to those who are rehabbing for goodness sake!

7. Am I the only one looking forward to the weekend? It should include a nice mixture of relaxing and working in the yard to suit my tastes.

8. Last night was a good night despite the absence of muh wife who was at a sneak preview for some Travelling Pants chick flick movie. I watched the Yankees win, played with Tucker, finally pick up a book in over a week, and still managed to do some much needed laundry.

9. Just because Phil Helmuth is a great poker player and is charismatic in an evil way to many or entertaining way to me, it doesn't mean that he is a good teacher of the game on his DVD series.

10. Go home early folks... it is worth it....

One WHole Frigging Year

I have been blogging for an entire year...

Go figure...

Music To Muh Ears

Snagged this meme over at Gina's site. You choose one of your favorite bands or musical artists and use their song titles to answer the following questions. It took awhile to decide between Neil or Bono... but I went with U2!!!

Name of the Band: U2

Are you male or female? Stories For Boys

Describe yourself? Original of the Species

How do some people feel about you? Babyface

How do you feel about yourself? Pride

Describe an ex boy friend or girlfriend: Lady With the Spinning Head

Describe you current boyfriend/husband or girlfriend/wife: Sweetest Thing

Describe where you want to be: Stuck in a Moment You Can't Get Out Of

Describe how you live: Beautiful Day!

Describe how you love: All I Want is You

Share a few words of wisdom: Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own

Now you try!

Called Out!

My dear friend Karen called me out and now I have to follow through with this.

1) Total volume of music files on my computer:
I have two computers in my life. On the computer at home, I have approximately 24 GBs of music. On my much more limited computer at work, I have 3.2 GBs of music. I am not picky. I love putting the iTunes on shuffle!

2) Last CD I bought was:
U2s How to Dismantle an Atomic Bomb. Buy music? You must be joking.

3) Song playing right now is:
Red Dragon Tattoo by Fountains of Wayne. Random is a beautiful thing. These guys ae truly underappreciated.

4) 5 songs I listen to a lot or that mean a lot to me (in no particular order):
As was the case with Karen, there are way too many, so here are the first 5 to come to mind:
1. Bad by U2
2. Forever in Blue Jeans by Neil Diamond
3. Brandy by Three Dog Night
4. Good Morning by Steve Poltz
5. Let's Get it On by Marvin Gaye

5) Which 5 people are you passing this baton to?:
1. Minnams
2. Jamie
3. Seth
4. Matt
5. Cousin Neal

Funny Things Kids Say

I have recently heard some really funny things come out of kid's mouths.

1. Whenever the Tucker and the dog next door play with each other, they roll around on the ground and run in circles. It is a pretty cute thing and amuses all that watch.

Whenever they start to slow down, they immediately do what all dogs do -- they smell each other. Sometimes, the smelling gets a bit out of control and they start to lick each other... EVERYWHERE.

On one particularly sunny afternoon, the boys were licking each other's penises...for a brief second. This caused our five year old girl neighbor with beautiful blonde tresses to say...

"Our dogs are gay."

I couldn't help but laugh out loud and neither could her mother. I asked her... "So... how old are you?"

SHe said... "I am five... "

I asked... "Where did you learn that?"

She responded "(her brother's name" Her mom then scowled and stormed off. I wonder if her brother will ever say anything like that again around her.

2. A young guy about 7 years old started petting Tucker and was enjoying the soft fur. I told him that Tucker really liked being pet on his stomach. The young guy obliged and started petting his tummy.

After a minute or so, he looked up at me and said... "Hey..What is this furry knob thing?" He had it in his hand.

I replied, "That is his penis."

He was like... "Ummm... uh... it felt like a fuzzy door knob! I did't know!"

Cute.

Just a thought...

I have been catching myself a lot recently...

Sometimes, I am saying something to muh wife... and it doesn't come out right...almost offensively... and I just dip my head and go...

"Crap..that didn't come out the way it sounded in muh head... I'm sorry."

Oops.

Top Five Tuesday

Top Five Things That You Never Want to Find in Your Basement
1. Water
2. Bodies
3. A case of unused beer.
4. Immigrants
5. Rodents

Top Five Reasons Why Bo Bice Will Win American Idol
1. A white male hasn't won yet. It will even out the cosmos with a black female, black male, and white female having won before.
2. Apparently... he is very sexy. There are all kinds of women in my office and they all say... "there is just something about him.... rowr..."
3. He is more talented than that country singing dopey pants Carrie.
4. Being a country singing dopey pants counts for two strikes.
5. Bo knows how to rock without being a homo...like Constantine was.
* Bonus Obligatory Paula Abdul Joke -- She banged him.

Top Five Reasons Why the New Star Wars Film Did So Well
1. Apparently... sex is out...so all the nerds stopped trying to get laid and went to the movie.
2. A lot of critics are calling it as good as Empire Strikes Back.
3. It opened up against Monster in Law...starring J-Lo...box office cancer recently.
4. Blind allegiance is a powerful thing.
5. The storyline taps into the kid in all of us.

Top Five Reasons Why Giacomo Didn't Win
1. Barry Bonds stole his steroids.
2. Giambi has been feeling ill and hasn't had time to train him.
3. Afleet Alex had the power of compassion on his side! God wasn't letting him lose a second race!!! NO NO NO!!!
4. Mike Smith is a little prick who needs to realize that he isn't a story. He is just a little craphead who got lucky.
5. I was rooting for him.

Top Five U2 Moments at the Recent U2 Concert
1. The dropping of the "beads" that they used for lighting and graphics. I have no idea how they did it but it rocked.
2. U2 brought up a local band to play the instruments for I Still Haven't Found What I Am Looking For.
3. The fact that he wasn't too preachy and promoted a great cause The One Campaign.
4. They played some very obscure stuff, including Stories for Boys.
5. Ending the show with BAD was extremely awesome... yeup... extremely awesome... I said it...and I meant it.

Top Five Most Frustrating Things About Lindsay Lohan's New Look
1. Does she really look like she could drive Herbie the Love Bug in the upcoming summer release?
2. She looks like every other emaciated famous person.
3. The old look was browner but far more exotic!
4. Less fat.. means... less boob.
5. It just isn't sexy.

One of the coolest mornings I have ever had...

As a representative of the heavy and highway contracting community, I am sometimes able to see extremely unique things that the rest of the world is unable to see.

Last week, I travelled to New York City early in the morning and experienced something that simply took my breath away and made me feel like a small child as I stared at everything with a open mouth and eyes of awe.

One of my organization's largest members is the main contractor on the construction of the new water tunnel for New York City.

To read more about the project, visit this website! http://www.nyc.gov/html/dep/html/news/3rdtunnel.html

Upon arriving at the site, I was given a quick explanation of the sheer scope of the project. The contractor is to dig approximately 15 more miles of tunnel and dig 9 more 600 foot shafts tying the tunnel to the surface of the city in points in Chinatown and Broadway and more! It was more than I could comprehend.

After the lesson, we were fitted with raingear and with knee length rubber boots. The safety expert then scared the living piss out of us and we were ready to enter the tunnel..always aware of falling debris and with full knowledge of what to do if the lights went out or there was a fire. We were as prepared as we were ever going to be.

I entered an open elevator with four others and we travelled for four minutes deep into the heart of the belly of New York City -- 600 feet under the ground. Once in the ground, I saw the tunnel. To my naked eye, I would say that the tunnel was about 20 feet high and measured about 20 from side to side. It was truly a impressive sight.

A train runs along the bottom of the tunnels as they are used to transport men from one end to the other and to bring the debris to the center of the project. The debris is then dropped into a crusher and sent up to the surface along a conveyour belt that runs alongside the elevator. It is then dropped into trucks that remove it off the island. Amazing.

I was able to walk down the tunnel and feel along the sides of the wall and I was impressed at how this machine that is bigger than most buildings is able to smoothly cut into 20 feet of granite. It was TRULY beyond my comprehension and amazing. I snuck a piece of the granite and brought it home. That was from 600 feet below Madison Square Garden! How many people can say that they have that sitting on their stoves!?!?!?

We were then treated to a dynamite blast. They were beginning another portion of the project -- another arm of the tunnel. This tunnel was to run parallel to the current tunnel being dug and it would serve the other side of the island. The blast was approximately 600 feet down. With earplugs in our ears and about 800 feet and a bend in between us and the dynamite, it was detonated. The entire hole vibrated and was extremely loud. I felt the hair on my hands vibrate and my teeth chattered. It was amazing! I felt a wave of air come over me and I couldn't imagine at how cool it would feel if I was standing near the end of the tunnel.

After about an hour of a tour and examining the big equipment, we finally made our way back up to the top completely in awe of what we had just experienced. This was the largest engineered project in the world and I got to step foot in it.

Awesome

Calling All Friends!

Muh beautiful wife recently made a list of 20 movies that she is embarassed that she has never seen. We are planning on watching them all. Does anyone have any of these movies?

I have taken out the ones that we have access to!

Thanks so much.

1. Schindler’s List;
2. Citizen Kane;
3. Casablanca;
4. The Godfather;
5. Gone with the Wind;
6. It’s a Wonderful Life;
8. 2001: A Space Odyssey;
9. The Maltese Falcon;
10. Annie Hall;
11. Vertigo;
12. American Graffiti;
13. Rocky;
15. The Jazz Singer;
17. Cool Hand Luke;
18. Rosemary’s Baby;
19. Meet Me in St. Louis;
20. Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

I am never getting that back..

This weekend saw the absolute wasting of time.

I will never get the 105 minutes that we invested in White Chicks.

I will also never get the 101 minutes we invested in The WHole Ten Yards.

At least I saw a good fight on HBO.

Phew.

A Return to the gym... and.... NATIONAL PHYSICAL FITNESS AND SPORTS MONTH

It is with great pride that I bring back a column that has suffered a bit because I have been suffering.

Making it to the gym has been an arduous process for the past month as I have been sick. I finally made it back this morning and I am proud to return with telling you what super duper month it is!

This month is one that I was actually aware of as a child.

NATIONAL PHYSICAL FITNESS AND SPORTS MONTH

I remember as a kid having to perform tasks in my very small K-8 elementary school. I remember running around the gym and doing sit ups and doing the stretch while my crazy gym teacher wore the same shorts every day and wore the same wacky sunglasses and yelled at us with a whistle around his neck.

Get re-acquainted with your childhood... right here!

http://www.fitness.gov/may_month_2005/maymonth-intropage.htm

Welcome to LarryManetti.com!

I am becoming obsessed with Larry Manetti.

He wrote a frigging book.

http://www.larrymanetti.com/book.htm

I AM SO FRIGGING LUCKY!!!!

I was at MSG today... and I "accidentally" walked in on a sound check for some mega Irish band...

I was quickly escorted out. but they were up there...

They really were!

I really did ACCIDENTALLY walk in!

What Will I Do This Summer?

What Will I Do This Summer?


I read muh friend's blog and she bastardized my Top Five Tuesday with a list of the Ten Things She Wants to Do This Summer.

I figure that she is fair game for my bastardization of her list and I will provide a list of things that I want to do this summer.

1. Go to the U2 show in May -- By the time you read this, I will have already been there and I will have rocked out and I will have confirmed the fact that U2 is the greatest band on the planet and I will have fallen down in excitement when I got home and not be able to sleep for hours!

2. Go to the Neil Diamond show at Madison Square Garden on a Hot August Night. We bought the tickets and I am hoping to enjoy a party with my other elder Neil lovers and muh wife as we rock out. Floor tickets rock. :)

3. I am planning on finding a couple of dog parks and just letting Tucker go nuts with the dogs and see what happens when he is allowed to be a complete spaz.

4. I would like to play a lot more tennis and golf. For some reason, the past two years have been lacking in those departments.

5. I plan on using my vacation to go to the shore and do nothing for a week. I have had too many trips recently that have involved too much packing and running around like crazy. I need relaxing.

6. I plan on mowing my front lawn at least once this summer. My next door neighbor is so obsessed with my front lawn and his that he mows it all the time to ensure uniformity.

7. I plan on skipping the new Star Wars film at least for the first few weeks... even though I heard it is as good or possibly even better than Empire Strikes Back...easily the best Star Wars movie ever made.

8. I want to see everything Larry Manetti from "Larry Manetti Presents: Celebrity Brunch" at the Plaza in Las Vegas has ever made. http://www.netflix.com/RoleDisplay?id=20027562

Rejuvenation -- The U2 Way

Sometimes in life when things sem a bit dismal, something happens that lights a spark under your butt and reminds you of how super and fun everything is.

Last night, I went to see U2 at the Continental Airlines Arena with muh wife, muh brother, and his lady. It was an incredible time! The concert was so awesome and captivating that I am feeling rejuvenated... yet... very very very tired from the late night return home.

Fans or non fans that see U2 in concert gain a whole new appreciation for the band. The show is full of so much energy and life that people can't but help being drawn into it. It was a fantastic time.

I was also impressed with how they pulled some of their really old stuff out even some obscure stuff like Stories For Boys... which I love!

I only had two problems with the best concert I have ever been to.

1. The pot smoking was by the guy right next to me so my clothes reeked.
2. No With or Without You...

My absolute highlight was the fact that they ended the show with my absolute most favorite U2 song... Bad and they melded it with 40.

Fantastic.

Here is the set list:

City Of Blinding Lights
Vertigo / Stories For Boys (snippet) / Pump It Up (snippet)
Elevation
Gloria
The Ocean
Beautiful Day / Blackbird (snippet)
Miracle Drug
Sometimes You Can't Make It On Your Own / No Regrets (snippet)
Love And Peace Or Else
Sunday Bloody Sunday
Bullet The Blue Sky / Please (snippet) / The Hands That Built America (snippet) / When Johnny Comes Marching Home (snippet)
Running To Stand Still
Pride (In The Name Of Love)
Where The Streets Have No Name
One

Encores:
Zoo Station
The Fly
Mysterious Ways
All Because Of You
Yahweh
I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For
Bad / 40 (snippet)

Did I also forget to mentiont hat the light show for the concert was incredible too?

I bet you might gather that the show was incredible!

Boo Hoo...Frank Gorshin

R.I.P.

I will miss you.

I have been reminded of how much I appreciated your work from my recent viewings of The Challenge of the SUperfriends.

Your live action Riddler was the best...

You will be missed.