Tuesday, November 11, 2008

Dancing With the Stars... Five *ahem* Stars Left!

Before we begin, we were "blessed" to see Tony Dovolani and Susan Lucci on the Ellen show. Tony is still so charming and Susan is as vacant as Cindy McCain at a funeral.


Tonight... each of the couples will have to dance TWICE with two different dances...and to create even more contrived DRAMA for an hour and a half of television, they will have to dance a solo during the Latin portion.

Oof! or Awesome!

We get our first glimpse at our stars and at Samantha. And... I have to say this. Samantha's hairstylist is such a fucking asshole.

Part One -- Ballroom

Cody Linley & Edyta Sliwinski are up first and Cody can't deal with being in last place last week. So Edyta invited his friends over to watch him. The total age of the 5 kids was 65. They finally leave and Cody can finally learn the Foxtrot... and he's calling it a comeback... uh... whatever. The dance starts and Edyta has comehow found a dress that somehow stays on her ass the whole dance while really showing it off. Len was "pleasantly surprised" and Bruno liked it. Carrie LOVED the performance even with the phantom... "lift". -- (Scores 8, 8, 8 - for a total of 24)

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough are up second. Brooke got the first perfect score last week and Derek tells her that he is going to push her incredibly hard. The work really hard and they are dancing the Tango. I am mesmerized by it because it seems so erfect and my wife can only add... "I am worried that her dress is going to fall off." Strangely enough. I am not worried about that at all. :) All three judges loved it tremendously with Len liking it the least. -- (Scores 10, 8, 10- for a total of 28)

Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke is getting ready to dance the Quickstep. The dance starts out of nowhere and I am not sure that Maurice ready for it all. He just doesn't seem ready to dance and I laugh because the song is Puttin' On the Ritz and we just saw Young Frankenstein on Broadway soooo... if you know the movie or show... that should make you smile too. His footwork is fine, but he doesn't seem comfortable. Carrie Ann, Len, and Bruno thought it was pretty good! -- (Scores 8, 8, 8 - for a total of 24)

Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer dance fourth and we are reminded of how much of an asshole Len can be since he doesn't seem to like anything that Lacey... therefore Lance does. They are doing the Samba and the Foxtrot. They claim that they are going to pull any crap this week and dance it all by the book just make Len happy. It was nice and Len thought so too. -- (Scores 9, 8, 9 - for a total of 26)

Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson are reminded that last week wasn't their week. He is dancing the Jive and the Tango. During the video, it doesn't look good. They dance the Tango first and Kym's boobs are apparently here to assist them with their dance. The dance was frenetic and good. The judges thought it was good. -- (Scores 10, 9, 9 - for a total of 28)

This season, since the dancers aren't as good, the judges are just plain rougher.

Part II -- Latin Dances

Cody Linley & Edyta Sliwinski are up to dance the Mambo. Edyta has done quite a job with him. I think he looks good until the turn where he ends up lifting Edya by mistake. Carrie Anne thought it was disjointed and appreciated his excitement. Len thought it was nice, but stiff. Bruno thought it was "spasmodic" and then acted out that word. I am ill. -- (Scores 8, 8, 8 - for a total of 24)

We get an update and Jullianne will be returning if Cody makes it through this week.

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough are also dancing the Mambo. Brooke is wearing a wig. and I am still impressed by her and Derek. I really liked that dance despite the horrific singing of that horrible Dancing With the Stars band. Len thought it was ambitious, but offered some criticism. Bruno thought it was good. Carrie thought her posture was awkward. -- (Scores 9, 9, 9 - for a total of 27)

Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke are dancing the Paso Doble and it is an auspicious start when Maurice can't pick up Cheryl right away. It picks up momentum and eventually gets to a great point even with a pretty damn good ending. Bruno thought it was strong and imposing. Carrie and Len thought it was good. -- (Scores 8, 8, 8 - for a total of 24)

Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer are dancing the Samba. My first reaction is that Lacey's dress is worse than Samantha's hair. I am not going to get into body sizes, but cmon wardrobe department... get that right. The dance ends with Lance's face right in Lacey's feather molting dress's ass. Carrie has some criticism and Len hates it and his footwork. Bruno liked it. -- (Scores 8, 7, 9 - for a total of 24)

Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson are told to dance just as they come out of a commercial. They are dancing the Jive. I am a big fan of this performance and Warren's solo actually brings a smile to my face. The dance was fun and brought a huge smile to both of our faces. Please be good judges. Len thought it was a joy to watch and hated his feet. Bruno agrees about the feet, but that it was a good dance. Carrie agrees it was flat footed, but the energy was very upbeat. -- (Scores 9, 8, 9 - for a total of 26)

Just to remind you... of tonight's scores...

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough -- 28 + 27 = 55
Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson -- 28 + 26 = 54
Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer -- 26 + 24 = 50
Cody Linley & Julianne Hough -- 24 + 24 = 48
Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke -- 24 + 24 = 48

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