Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Dancing With the Stars -- Week Four!


Don't forget that no one was voted off last week because of whiny pants' goofy fake injury. So they are going to combine all the scores from last week and Rocco was spared a week longer...

The parade of C & D List stars make their way down and we see that there is an awful lot of crappy outfits that look like the absolute worst Bridesmaid dresses ever... that probably means that Sambas are going to be on this episode.

Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke are up first and we are reminded of how well they did last week. They have to dance the Party Dance of the Samba so in some incredibly fake cliche bullshit interaction with his daughter... he is "ready to Samba." The outfits are an absolute 70s throwback nightmare and they have huge afros and smiles and make me want to ... um... wish I was never born in the 70s. Just plain contrived. Len doesn't like it. Neither doesn't Tony. -- (Scores 6, 7, 7 - for a total of 20)

Cody Linley & Julianne Hough are up second and they are doing the Tango. hey... guess what? Cody's young and has little focus. *yawn* Julianne has his ex-high school principal yell at him through a web camera. I am yelling at the tv in my best yawn voice. The Tango comes on and Julianne is wearing an interesting I Dream of Jeannie set of pants. Cody is not top notch with the dance and looks stilted and almost violently stuck in place. Bruno likes him. Carrie Ann and Len are more critical, but I still expect 7s across the board. -- (Scores 7, 8, 8 - for a total of 23)

Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo dance third and we are reminded that they were too gimmicky. They are doing the Samba and TOni quickly reminds us that her heart condition is good but she is "sick." Seriously... she can't be more boring. AT least Rocco tries to be entertaining... even though he fails miserably. Muh wife points out that Toni is amazing shape and I have to concur. It was nice. Carrie is "being tough" tonight and is a bit critical even though she likes her. Len is a bit nicer. -- (Scores 7, 7, 8 - for a total of 22)

Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas are doing the Tango and they are not going to do as much goofy stuff as last time and she wants to be technically correct. Her interviews are rough, but she seems nice. They brought the family in to visit and muh wife doesn't cry like she does with teh family reunion episodes on Survivor (damn!). Time to dance! (or whatever it is that Cloris will do.) She's very serious... and Corky is definitely running the dance. These serious dances are actually better for her. TW confirms that it is ironic that the serious dances are actually her strong dances. Len and Bruno love it. Carrie Ann is full of ... something. Someone might call it vim and vigor. -- (Scores 8, 7, 7 - for a total of 22)

Rocco DiSpirito & Karina Smirnof would have been eliminated last week. Really? I forgot! I would be a Negative Nancy if I was on the show. Rocco is going to take it more seriously and you can see the pressure in his eyes. He's nervous and not having fun... so let's ask his mom to cheer him up. It's the Samba and his mom says some contrived Clorisy type stuff. Blech. His arm frills are attrocious and they are pink! Eventually... they are ripped off and that's when I realize that this may be his best dance so far until the very end when he accidentally lifts her and it is a bit of a mess. Bruno hates him and says that he doesn't have a single musical bone in his body. Carrie is nicer about it. Len says nothing much. The rest of the cast can feel say about not going home this week. -- (Scores 6, 6, 6 - for a total of 18)

Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani are next. Blech. Her death stare creeps me out and I am left with the sick feeling in my gut that I am getting at least another week of this boring fake turd. Rough? Yeup, but whatever. Damn you Rocco! The one funny bit was making Tony look funny on All My Children. They start giving her some sort of personality by tapping into her FAKE PERSONA... Erika Kane. The Tango is up and she is as timid to start as Carrie Ann called her last week. Of course... since I know nothing... the judges loved her. -- (Scores 8, 8, 8 - for a total of 24)

FYI -- The kid's ballroom dancing competition is NOT popular -- nor is it fun.

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough got a ten last week. Brooke and Derek are off to see real Samba dancers at a bar/restaurant. Hey America? LA thinks she is skanky while TW and I think she is lovely. The dance starts (Samba) and Brooke shows her sexiness from an increibly stuck on dress which should just fall off, but in great DWTS fashion, it doesn't The dance is really good and was actually a result of the tremendous music... which required someone talking and not singing. Len thinks it is too erotic. and Bruno was out of control and quietly ended it with... "I need a smoke." I laughed out loud. -- (Scores 9, 8, 9 - for a total of 26)

Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer come up second to last and they will be dancing the Tango. After some goofy lines, Lance actually ends with... "I am going to Tango my way to the top.".. and it makes me not even want to watch his dance... but I watch the extreme purple dress and tux and I think of Grimace even though neither of them are shaped like milk shakes. They were good and gothicky looking. Bruno liked it. Carrie did too. Len the poo pants is up last and he calls Lance Sir Dance A Lot. *Merp* -- (Scores 9, 8, 9 - for a total of 26)

Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson are up last... and we are reminded that he's adorable and he's going to dance the Samba... and get fun. Kym takes him on a field trip to see "Capuwarda" which is martial arts and dancing in one. Warren comes out and looks like he's having fun... and Kym seems to really like showing off her boobs this season. Fun, Fun, Fun dance. Carrie adores him, but she, Bruno, and Len think there was little substance and thought there was no content. -- (Scores 8, 7, 7 - for a total of 22)

What did you guy's think?

Just to remind you... of tonight's scores -- combined with last week's scores...

Brooke Burke & Derek Hough 28 + 26 -- 54
Lance Bass and Lacey Schwimmer 22 + 26 -- 48
Warren Sapp & Kym Johnson 25 + 22 -- 47
Susan Lucci & Tony Dovolani 21 + 24 -- 45
Toni Braxton & Alec Mazo 22 + 22 -- 44
Cody Linley & Julianne Hough 21 + 23 -- 44
Maurice Greene & Cheryl Burke 24 + 20 -- 44
Cloris Leachman & Corky Ballas 16 + 22 -- 38
Rocco DiSpirito & Karina Smirnof 20 + 18 -- 38

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